A/N: Epic thank you's to jilburfm for being a supertastic beta and soundboard; and to OCD_Indeed because she's wonderful and validates so astonishingly quickly!

And, I think the most common question from the reviews was about bloodlust/feeding tubes, so real quick:

The way conditioning would work is that it's not like he doesn't WANT to drink (well, he doesn't, but even if he DID want to drink) he just wouldn't be able to, physically. He has an actual aversion to blood itself, not the means of acquiring it.

Twilight & Co. belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

**

The Balcony

BPOV

I couldn't get his voice out of my head. As hard as I tried to pay attention throughout the day, those three words resonated constantly, overshadowing all other thoughts.

Twice I had been called on, only to be caught off guard and unprepared. I needed to focus, and my vampire made that no easy feat.

The days seemed like they were perpetually getting longer, the hours that I was forced to spend away from him becoming more and more agonizing as time wore on.

He had asked me not to leave. He had looked me straight in the eye and begged me, and I stood up and walked away from him. He had reached out to me, as I had been waiting so long for him to do, and I had turned my back on him.

My heart pounded in my chest, self hatred and bitterness running through my veins.

I should have stayed.

I should have. Over the week, I had become more and more aware that trust was not something he was accustomed to. I knew what it meant for him to nod his head in the bathtub, for him to allow himself to relax. I realized the implications of his grip on my arm tightening when I went to leave. And above all, I implicitly understood how incredibly difficult it was for him to break down his barriers and speak to me.

And I walked away.

My day went on in a similar fashion, as I ignored every attempt made by my friends and teachers to pull me from my lull. They had all caught on to my behavior change over the past week, but, for the most part were able to keep their concerns unvoiced. Until today.

"Bella?" Angela asked, gesturing to the seat next to hers. Alice looked at me sympathetically before turning her focus back to Ben.

"What's up?" I managed to force out, letting my focus fall on the scene around me.

"Is everything alright?" She kept her voice low, low enough that attention normally wouldn't be drawn, but Mike had been listening intently. I saw his body stiffen, a sure sign of his eavesdropping.

"Everything's fine," I mumbled.

"Alice said you're coming to homecoming?" she asked, looking at Mike quickly then back to me.

I blushed, the crack in the laminate on the table suddenly very appealing. "I… uh…"

Ben gaped. "I guess so," I grumbled.

"Who's your date?" Mike abruptly asked. Impossibly, my face grew redder.

"I'm…" I straightened my shoulders and looked straight ahead. "I'm going by myself."

"Did you… want a date?" Mike asked. I had no idea how to respond. Logic and experience told me to scream "no" at the top of my lungs, but did I want a date? Yes. But did I want a date with Newton?

"I think I'm…" I closed my eyes, eager for this conversation to be over. "I'm just going by myself this time."

Mike looked down and I immediately regretted my decision. Why couldn't I just be normal? Why couldn't I just go with Mike?

"Well," he finally said. "I'm going by myself, too, so, save me a dance?"

I nodded, relishing in the bell as it released me from my purgatory. I abruptly stood and stalked out of the cafeteria, eager for school to end.

**

Alice POV

I dropped Bella off at her house but couldn't stay today; I had loose ends to tie up at home. I had no qualms about hiding my visions, but Jasper had been giving me crap about it all week, so I figured coming clean was for the best.

I could see the impending conversation and dreaded it. It would make things so much more difficult for Bella. I could also see that she would be persistent enough, and that, inevitably, every vampire in the world could not keep the two apart. I smiled sadly, watching the trees fly.

There are worse things that could happen.

I sighed and looked to Jasper. He looked miserable. Now, not only was he dealing with the vampire's fear, the family's anxiety, Rosalie's protectiveness and Bella's infatuation, but he was dealing with my angst, as well.

We had talked about my visions and his emotions in depth over the past few days and were decidedly at an impasse. The only course of action we could think of was to inform the family and try to be supportive. I was only getting glimpses into the, hopefully, very distant future, so I wasn't entirely sure as to the cause of them. Brief flashes of what was to come continued to plague my mind at random, but there was no way of knowing just how the future came to be; the specifics were blurry.

Although it couldn't have been coincidence that the first vision came the night that the vampire's future had cleared up. We both had our suspicions of the culprit.

We pulled into the driveway and the visions of this conversation began coming like wildfire. Apparently, between Jasper and I, we changed our minds and the resulting outcome repeatedly in those few minutes. I sat in the car, trying to get myself under control; I hated doing this to Bella.

When I was finally able to walk without being pummeled by the future, I exited the car. We made our way slowly to the house, each of us lost in our own thoughts of what the future may bring.

**

Bella POV

It took longer tonight, preparing dinner and catching up on the things that I needed to do around the house. Usually Alice was here to help me, but tonight she had errands. Errands. Liar.

I wasn't completely finished until almost 4:30, and by that time it just made sense to wait for Charlie.

I sat at the kitchen table and pulled out my math homework, but was still unable to push that voice from my mind. Don't leave me. I sighed, closing my eyes and laying my head on the table.

Charlie came in several minutes later, pulling off his jacket and holster and replacing them to their designated hook.

"Bella!" he called, walking into the kitchen. "Not spending the evening with the Cullens?" He sat down in the chair next to mine and opened the newspaper.

"I am," I said, slowly raising my head. "I was actually wondering if it'd be alright if I spent the weekend there?"

He looked up from the paper, eyeing me quizzically. "Mmm," he mumbled and ran his fingers across over his jaw. "I don't know, Bella."

I was suddenly infuriated, preparing myself for a fight. I harnessed my inner teenager for the moment though, opting to gauge his resolve first.

"Dad –" I began, but he interrupted me.

"I'll have to talk to Dr. Cullen about it, okay?" he asked. It seemed reasonable enough. I let it drop for the moment and stood.

"You're leaving?" Charlie asked abruptly.

I nodded and walked to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "Dinner at six, okay, Bells? And I'll talk to Dr. Cullen about the weekend."

**

I arrived at the mansion in the midst of some sort of Cullen intervention. I couldn't understand any of the words that were being passed, but the looks on their faces were enough to make me wary. It wasn't for several seconds that anyone even bothered to greet me.

Alice and Emmett were standing, side by side, calm and united. Jasper stood by them looking frustrated, not really joining in the exchange at all.

Rose looked smug. Carlisle looked mortified.

Before I had a chance to take in Esme's appearance, she was at my side, pulling me into a hug. I hugged her back, curious and reluctant at the same time. Something told me this argument was going to hit close to home.

"Welcome back, Bella," she said, releasing me and taking her post next to Carlisle. His eyes met mine and, for the briefest moment, I saw the inner turmoil of the one person I could always count on to be confident. His eyes were full of anguish and confusion, despair. Despondence.

Before I could make anything of it Emmett bound over to me, pulling me into a bear hug. When he finally let me go I stumbled backward, eyeing the family speculatively. "What's going on?" I asked.

No hint at subtlety was made as the furious whispers between Alice and Carlisle reemerged for the world to see.

"Guys?" I asked. Esme squeezed my hand while Emmett shook his head. The three of us stood stoically, watching the argument. I knew they could understand, but to me it was just infuriated whispers. Finally, Carlisle put up his hands in defeat, looking to me once again.

"Please be careful, Bella," he said before exiting the room.

I took a deep breath and sat down, flanked by Emmett and Alice on either side.

"What was all that about?" I asked.

No one seemed overly excited to answer my question, but Alice finally spoke up.

"Carlisle just doesn't see things the way I do," she began. "As long as you're careful, though, it'll be fine. Don't worry."

I tried to stealthily check the time, as I didn't want to waste any more of the night, but before I could look Alice stood, pulling me up with her.

"Just go," she said, rolling her eyes and pushing me toward the steps. I laughed, but was grateful for the out.

I saw Rosalie glaring at me from across the room, her arms crossed over her chest and her face set in her regular scowl.

"Is this really a good idea?" she grumbled, loud enough for me to hear. I knew at this point that I would never overhear something I wasn't meant to in this house, but I couldn't quite figure out her motives.

Alice shot her a death glare and I chuckled, shrugging and walking up the stairs. I looked over my shoulder when I was just out of sight and saw that the hushed argument had begun again.

**

I couldn't help the smile that overtook my face when I walked into the guestroom. He lay on his stomach facing the window, his back rising and falling with his shallow breaths.

I walked to his side of the bed and sat on the edge, finding his hand under the blanket. His eyes were very light; the color I had grown used to on a well-fed vampire. His once-hollow cheeks were completely full now, his lips and skin exactly as they should be. The feeding tube had been removed, and his face no longer held any outward signs of his abuse.

When I touched his face he recoiled but quickly recovered. "Hey," I said, bringing myself further onto the bed and hugging my knees with my free arm. I waited longer than normal for a response, knowing that he was capable of one. But none came.

"I talked to Charlie today," I began, and then explained the details of our conversation; that, as long as his conversation with Carlisle went okay, I'd be able to spend the weekend at the mansion. When I had finished talking about my day, I looked to him again, waiting.

"You can trust me," I finally whispered, bringing my hand from my knees to cover our already entwined fingers. "I'm not going to hurt you – you know that, right?"

He took a deep breath and nodded, closing his eyes and exhaling. His breaths were coming shakily now, at random intervals; I knew that he was beginning to panic.

"You don't have to talk," I said quickly, trying to salvage his calmer disposition. "Not until you're ready to."

After several minutes of silence, I opened my mouth to speak.

"What –" he said softly, his voice breaking on that one little word. I looked down at him and stroked his cheek, encouraging him to continue. "What's it like?" he finally said, his sad eyes meeting mine. His hand was trembling underneath my own and I squeezed it tightly.

I debated for a while over whether or not to just start rambling. I really had no idea what he was asking, but he was prompting me to talk, and I was failing him. "What's what like?" I eventually asked.

He cast his eyes downward, not meeting my questioning stare, and pushed himself up on his hands. As he pulled his body upright, I scooted further back on the bed to sit next to him. The blanket was draped tightly around his shoulders but I could see the violent shuddering as he adjusted to this position.

Finally, as we sat side by side on the bed, our knees pulled tightly to our chests and our hands interlocked between us, he met my gaze.

For a long time, no words were spoken between us. We just sat there watching one another with no sounds other than that of our breaths. I knew I hadn't answered his question, but in this moment he didn't seem to care. There would be time to answer his questions in the future.

"What's your name?" I finally asked, bringing the back of my hand to his neck. He closed his eyes and let his muscles relax some.

I smiled, wondering if he really could read my mind. I don't know how my ogling hadn't scared him off yet. As the sun set behind us, I noticed how stunningly gorgeous he was. I tried to force the thoughts out of my head, at least until I knew that he couldn't hear them, but my mind kept going back there. He either didn't mind or didn't notice, he just kept his eyes closed while I stroked his face.

"I tried horseback riding once when I was nine," I blurted out, wanting to break the silence. His eyes snapped open and his features softened as he rested his cheek on his knee, his face turned to me. I laid out my right arm and rolled up my sleeve, showing him the small scar on my wrist from that fall. "I fell off and got a concussion," I said, blushing mildly at the memory. It was only a trail ride, which had to be cut short and refunded at my clumsiness. "And I broke my arm," I explained, pointing to the scar. I started to tell him about all of my hospital visits, remembering all of the accidents that I could. Really, there were too many scars and broken bones to remember each incident, but it was something to talk about. Something to ease his mind.

He appeared to be listening intently as I told my tales so I continued with confidence, occasionally glancing out the window to watch the sun drop further on the horizon.

Finally, when I could remember no more childhood mishaps, I repeated, "What's your name?"

He swallowed loudly and closed his eyes, his body tightening as he tried to calm himself. "My name's Bella," I said, remembering that I hadn't told him since before he had eaten.

He looked up at me and smiled sadly, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders. "Edward," he whispered, his eyebrows knitting together. Edward. I lifted the hand that was on his neck to his cheek and he flinched sharply, his whole body jolting at my touch.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I said, persisting. He calmed down when my fingers made contact again, closing his eyes and curling even tighter. He looked to the window, as he had done countless times over the course of the evening.

I decided then that, whether this was a bad idea or a good idea, it was time to try. I pulled away slowly, finally reaching the floor, and put my hand out to him.

"Come on," I said, nodding my head toward the window. He looked back and forth between the window and me before slowly loosening his grip on his legs and moving to the end of the bed. He was trembling visibly but still cooperative, so I took that as my incentive to continue. I held his hand and we walked to the door, but when we reached it, he hesitated. I knew I wouldn't be strong enough to lead him if he didn't want to follow, so I stopped and turned to him.

"It's okay," I said, gesturing to the door. "I promise no one will hurt you."

He was slowly pulling away from me, away from the door that only led to the hallway, so I opened it and stepped out.

"Come on," I repeated, slowly reaching for his hand again. He took a shaky breath and let our hands meet again but stayed still. "Ed…ward…?" I asked, unsure of how he'd take to my casual use of his name. His eyes snapped up and met mine, confusion and relief washing over his features. "It's okay," I said again, pulling him toward me.

He followed this time, slowly stepping out of the room and into the hallway. I knew this would take time, getting him all the way to the study, so I tried to remain patient. His whole body was trembling, rocking my arm in the process, as he looked around himself.

Finally he made last step, leaving the bedroom behind him.

We walked slowly toward the study and, although his shaking never let up, he was hesitating less as we moved forward. When we reached the door, I knocked, wondering if this was actually a horrible idea. If Carlisle was in there, things could go wrong very quickly.

No one answered, though, so I slowly pushed the door open and peeked into the room. It was empty. I let out of a sigh of relief and smiled at my vampire, guiding him into the room.

As we walked past the pictures and toward the doors that led outside, I gave him a quick rundown the Cullen history.

I told him about Carlisle and his time spent with the Volturi, and that he had left them in search of a more agreeable lifestyle. I explained that the Cullens didn't eat humans like most vampires did, and told him the story that had been told to me last spring, about the years Carlisle spent starving himself before finally trying to eat an animal. I explained to him the family dynamic, and how they all came together.

I told him that Carlisle didn't change people if they were healthy, that he only saved people and that he was the most amazing man I knew.

As we passed the photographs we hesitated, admiring the history of this family. I pointed out the pictures of each vampire that I recognized and tried to tell him about them.

He didn't talk, but he looked intently at the images, squeezing my hand occasionally, letting me know that he was still with me.

When we finally reached the balcony I let go of his hands, pulling the big French doors open. He took a deep breath, the cool fall air immediately assaulting us, and was suddenly trembling again.

We stood in the doorway for a long time, unmoving, as the fresh air swept over us.

Finally, though, my vampire stepped outside before me. He put both of his hands on the large railing that surrounded the balcony and looked out over the Cullens' land. I walked to him, closing the door behind me and taking my position next to him. I laid my hand on top of his on the railing and together, we watched the tranquility of the forest.

"How long has it been since you've been free?" I asked, looking up to him. He kept his focus trained on our surroundings, breathing deep, thoughtful breaths as the weight of this experience crashed down on us. He was free and he was safe, and he had the world at his feet. He could do anything and there was absolutely nothing keeping him here. As I started dwelling on the fact that he'd soon leave me, he flipped the hand that was underneath mine over and clutched my fingers.

"I don't know," he finally said, his eyes closing as he inhaled deeply. "I don't remember."

I let this sink in, knowing the implications of this sentence. Vampires remembered everything from their vampire life. I had been told this countless times. "Do you remember anything…" I began, unsure of how to voice what I was thinking. "…about your life, before you went to the…" images of the wristband flashed before my eyes "…place?" I finished lamely.

He looked at me and shook his head sadly, his eyes filled with desolation. I wanted to ask him a thousand more questions, but I knew he wasn't ready to answer them. He was afraid still, and I needed to give him time.

We stood side by side on the balcony and listened as the crickets began to chirp. Occasionally my vampire would flinch at something, but I couldn't hear or feel whatever was startling him.

When the sky was pitch black and the cool air was causing shivers to run down my spine, I knew we would need to go inside soon. I looked up at him and nodded in the direction of the doors. He turned his head to look and offered a sad smile, putting his attention back on the woods.

"I remember… the last night," he finally whispered, so low that I could barely hear him. I moved closer, tightening my fingers around his while he gathered whatever strength he had.

"Everyday," he continued softly, his voice shaking in tandem with his body. "I thought… thought about… that night," he exhaled slowly, taking deep, calming breaths. "And when the rest of the memories were… gone," he whispered, "that night… was all I had left."

I could feel the tears coming to my eyes as his face took on a pained expression. I was sure he was remembering, remembering whatever he could.

He opened his eyes and looked down at me, begging me. I couldn't stop myself from pulling him into a hug. It was real, and it was intimate, and it was scary, but I felt home. I wrapped my fingers around his bare waist as his arms encircled my shoulders, his chest shaking with broken breaths that would be sobs to any human. He laid his cheek on my head as I laid my head on his chest. His trembling was severe and desperate, and it only made me hold him tighter. As we stood there, wrapped around one another, he continued his story.

"My parents had both died -- the influenza," he stuttered, his arms tightening around me. It wasn't the same as Emmett's hugs; there was no playfulness here, no lightness. "I knew I would die, too," he breathed, his shaking growing less panicked as we remained entwined.

"I tried to stay awake… as long as I could…"

I tightened my arms again, showing him whatever support I could. "I knew… that once I fell asleep…" he choked out, "I wouldn't wake up."

The tears were pouring down my cheeks now as I considered his last human memories. Somewhere, deep down inside of me, I knew that those were his last memories of freedom, but on the surface, just for one minute, I allowed myself to hope.

"But I woke up," he finally said, loosening his grip on me. I pulled away to look at his face, to make sure my vampire was okay. "I woke up in a cage."

**

A/N: I was absolutely BLOWN AWAY by the review response last chapter, guys. Like literally, ASTOUNDED. You guys are all so awesome and amazing and I love hearing how you're feeling about it! Last chapter brought out a lot of lurkers, I hope you all continue to leave me feedback!

So the vamp is Edward. Review if you're surprised! Or review if you're not surprised! (I do understand that very few are surprised, no worries ;))