A/N: Mammoth-sized thank you's to jilburfm for her mad beta skillz and OCD_Indeed because she's wonderful.
Special one this time to jeesiechreesie – she helped me work through some things in the wee hours!
And uh.. feathers_mmmm and ginnyw for rec'cing this fic (and to all the stealthy rec's that I'm unaware of, as always).
Reviews! Loved them, unfortunately couldn't respond to them all, but I LOVED them! So.. here:
**
The Weekend
Bella POV
I stared at him, rendered speechless at his admission. I wasn't sure what I could say, if there was anything to say, to make this better for him. He turned his focus back to the woods as I stood there, unable to move, barely able to breath. Through my tears I could see his hands shaking on the banister as his eyes remained fixed on the river.
I reached a tentative hand to his back. I trailed my fingers slowly up and down the curvature of his spine, doing everything in my power to keep my shivers at bay.
He turned his head and looked down at me, once again wearing the blank expression I had grown so used to over the past weeks. I had just begun to get my sobs under control but his face brought on a whole new round. I smiled through my tears, gradually brought my hand to his face, and watched in absolute astonishment as he slowly lifted his hand to cover mine.
I felt like I would run out of tears before I could get them at bay, but his gesture was the snapping point. Sobs shook my entire body as I tried to hold my hand completely still under his. He watched my eyes carefully and quietly brought his other hand to my face.
It was the most intimate moment I'd ever experienced, and I hated that I had to break it with words.
"How long… were you there?" I finally asked, my chin trembling as I spoke. He smiled sadly and looked back to the woods, dropping his fingers from my cheek. It wasn't a total loss, though, as his other hand remained wholly on top of mine. I knew that he wouldn't answer; that he was done talking in that moment.
I wasn't sure if my trembling was the result of my feelings or the weather, but as the night grew later, the air grew cooler.
Reluctantly, I removed my hand from his face, flipping it over to grip his in the process, and waited for his acknowledgment.
When he finally turned to me, I gestured toward the door, taking the first step in that direction.
He closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath as I squeezed his hand tighter, making no move to rush him.
Eventually his eyes opened and, together, we walked back into the house.
I looked to the clock on Carlisle's desk; almost nine. We had spent longer than I realized outside, and we didn't have much time left. When I looked back to my vampire I saw him eyeing the bookshelf quizzically.
We made our way toward the collection of shelves that encompassed the north wall of the room. I ran my free hand across the spines, relishing in the musky scent of the old books. For this reason, I loved this room.
He watched me intently while I continued inspecting the shelves, looking for something that might interest him. I pulled out Dracula and opened it, savoring the scent as it hit my nose. He took a tentative step toward me, his head cocked to the side, and slowly reached out his hand. I was prepared for his touch again, so I was surprised when his hand moved beyond my face and to the bookshelf next to me. Hesitantly, he fingered the spine of one of one of the oldest leather bound books on the shelf.
The corners of his lips turned into a very small smile, and the sadness that usually accompanied his expression was lost. He looked… hopeful. He moved his hand along to the next book, touching it briefly before continuing. He was taking deep breaths, enjoying the new scents as they presented themselves.
I clutched the book to my chest and stepped back to watch his exploration. I would stand here all night if it meant getting to witness this.
He walked slowly along the bookshelf, his hands trembling slightly as he examined each spine. He wasn't pulling anything out, but he was pausing constantly.
When he neared the section of classics that I so often frequented, I stepped toward him. I pulled out Wuthering Heights and handed it to him, placing the spine in his open palm. I lifted the cover and flipped through the pages, explaining the plot to him as I went. I read my favorite excerpts aloud as I thumbed through the well-worn book, before finally coming to the last pages.
I closed it sadly and looked up at my vampire, who wore an expression of confusion and curiosity. I put the book back on the shelf and checked the time. It was almost nine-thirty; Alice would be coming soon.
We left the study and made our way back to my room. The trip wasn't as frightening to him, although he was still trembling lightly and occasionally flinched.
We walked in silence, save for the occasional growl that emanated from him.
When we finally reached our destination, I led him to the bed and pulled back the blankets. He looked at me imploringly before slowly sitting down and immediately wrapped the blanket tightly around his shoulders.
I took my place next to him and discarded the book to the nightstand. Side by side we sat, as I rubbed his back through the blanket, telling him about my favorite classics.
"I have to go home," I finally whispered as I brought my hand to his lap. His fingers were still tightly clutching the comforter so instead, I grazed his face again.
"I'll be back tomorrow, after dinner," I explained as I stood and walked to the door. "Goodnight." I waited briefly for a response before turning to leave. When I was met with none, I quietly opened the door and stepped through.
"Goodnight," he whispered, so low that I almost missed it. I walked out of the house smiling, despite all the tears of the night.
**
Alice POV
After Bella left, Jasper and I decided to get away for a bit. Although we agreed that things seemed somewhat better, the constant fear that Jasper was still subjected to wasn't easy.
We ran for miles, going nowhere in particular, simply clearing our heads and finally being alone in our thoughts. The realization of his mind reading hadn't been easy on any of us, and to finally be able to safely consider the future without the intrusion was refreshing. We still weren't sure how his ability worked, but I could tell that, at least within a few feet, the vampire was capable of deciphering our every thought. It made each of us more conscious of every action, of our every idea.
After several hours of mindless running, Jasper finally stopped. He leaned against a nearby tree and slid to the ground, holding out his arms for me follow. I sat down with him, immediately put at ease.
"Has it cleared up at all?" he finally asked. I sighed, exasperated. They had all been hounding me non-stop about Bella's future, and in truth, it was so obscure that I couldn't tell them more than they already knew. For the most part, everyone had accepted the news warily but open-minded. Emmett had been excited, Esme and Jasper reserved, Carlisle infuriated and Rose indifferent. Rose, I scoffed. She was taking the jealousy thing to a new level, even for her.
"No," I said decisively, bringing myself back to the present. Fortunately, the more pressing of the two visions had disappeared.
There was still the matter of the other vision, but I couldn't see a way of changing a future that was so unclear to begin with. Of all people, I understood that my visions were subjective, that any number of things could throw Bella off of her course and lead her to an entirely different outcome. I anticipated knowing before anything was actually done to change things, so as far as I was concerned, until things progressed further, Bella was probably safe.
Of course, I still couldn't actually see the steps that Bella would take, but I knew where her current path led. I looked again.
Bella and I stand side by side, our arms wrapped tightly around one another. Her eyes are red, her skin pale.
**
When we got back to the house I knew there was one more issue that needed dealt with. I found Carlisle and Emmett at the chess table, both concentrating intently on the pieces.
"Checkmate," Emmett finally said, elated with his triumph. I smirked at Carlisle, who shrugged nonchalantly.
"You need to talk to Charlie tonight," I began. He stood and straightened his shirt, walking to the window.
"I can't allow this, Alice."
"You can't control her," I argued.
"Someone needs to. We can't let her get in so deeply. We can't allow him to do this to her."
"We don't even know it's him. And we don't know how it happens, and… what if she chooses it?"
"What if she doesn't," he countered softly. His eyes met mine for an instant and I saw all of his concern, all of his love for Bella. "What if she goes up there tonight and he decides he's hungry, Alice? Are you willing to take responsibility for that happening to Bella?"
"I'd see it if it were tonight," I responded, knowing that this was a losing battle.
"We both know that's not entirely true."
"Look," Emmett finally cut in. "Bella's a big girl. She can make her own decisions; it's not our place –"
"Someone has to protect her –"
I cut in again, fueled by a vision of winning this one. "We don't know it's him, Carlisle. I will see beforehand if anything happens, but so far, he's shown no signs of aggression toward her. If he was going to hurt her, he'd have done so. It's not like he hasn't been given the chance." Carlisle made to interrupt but I continued, undeterred by his expression, "He'll be fine... besides, the only time he's not completely consumed by his fear is when she's with him. Of course you can't take that away from him, can you?"
Checkmate.
I walked quickly back to my bedroom, eager to prepare for the weekend.
**
Bella POV
I packed a bag hurriedly, eager to start the weekend. Dinner had gone by uneventfully; neither Charlie nor I felt the need to fill gaps of silence as a general rule, so few words had been exchanged. I knew this dinner was necessary, though, so I didn't complain.
After we ate, Charlie called Carlisle to 'okay' the weekend trip. I only heard Charlie's part, but it didn't sound like either of them were putting up much of a fight. For a moment yesterday I had thought that it would be more complicated, but Charlie's end of the conversation turned out to be relatively reasonable.
As I bolted from the house I said my goodbyes, rushing to the car and making an honest effort not to push my truck faster than it was willing to go.
When I got to the Cullen's house I dropped my bags in the foyer and made my way to the living room to greet the family.
"Hey, Bella!" Emmett said, glancing at me quickly before turning his attention back to a video game that he and Rosalie were engaged in. "Glad we have you for the weekend!"
I walked to them and feigned interest as Emmett showed me how to play. He proceeded to hand me the controller and I immediately died. It wasn't entirely accidental.
I handed it back to him and grabbed my bag, making my way quickly up the staircase to my bedroom.
When I got there, Edward was curled on his side, facing the window. The blanket was still wrapped tightly around his shoulders, the book in the exact same place I had left it. I wasn't sure if he had touched it or not, but from what I could tell, it hadn't moved. I took off my shoes and climbed into the bed. He growled lightly as he inhaled, quickly calming. Slowly, I moved to lay behind him. I draped my arm over his and propped myself on my elbow so that I could see what he was seeing.
It was already dark out, so I wasn't sure what we were looking at, but for several minutes he kept his focus on the window.
Eventually he turned his head to look at me, rolling his entire body over in the process. I lifted my arm to give him space as he shifted, and when he finally rest facing me, I let my hand graze to his cheek. His eyes closed and he inhaled, holding the air there for several minutes. When he finally exhaled the corners of lips turned up slightly and he opened his eyes.
"Hey," I whispered, trailing my fingers across his jaw. He smiled and lifted his hand to my face, mimicking the movements of my own fingers. I flipped mine over and lightly brushed it across his forehead. He did the same. After what seemed like hours of this, I slowly moved down his arm, our hands eventually meeting at my face.
Impulsively, I guided his fingers to my lips. I turned my head into his touch and placed the smallest, softest kiss on his palm. My heart skipped a beat at the contact; my lips trembling slightly as he instinctually recoiled. He pulled his hand back to his chest protectively, but his expression wasn't one of utter agony. He was shaking a little harder now, but I couldn't quite bring myself to regret the decision. I had kissed him. And he wasn't running.
"It's okay," I whispered as I reached out to his hand again. He pulled back a bit but opened his hand to mine, allowing our fingers to weave together. "I'm not going to hurt you…"
He looked up to me sadly; his face a picture of nervousness and desolation, and nodded slightly, casting his eyes downward. "I'm sorry," he finally whispered.
I squeezed his hand tightly, feeling absolutely horrible that my vampire thought he had something to apologize for. "Edward," I said softly, lifting his chin so that I could see his eyes.
"You don't have any reason to be sorry," I mumbled, running my hand through his hair.
Slowly, he raised his shaking hand back to my face. I could feel tears welling in my eyes as his trembling fingers came closer to me, but I did everything I could to remain completely still. I needed to not scare him again.
When the tips of his fingers met my cheek, I let my head roll into his hand to increase the contact. I felt his body jolt but otherwise he remained stoic, allowing himself to get used to the feel. I smiled and bit my lip, but continued to stay as motionless as possible. I didn't want to talk or move, I didn't want to ruin the moment, but my hands acted on their own accord and traveled to his neck. I grazed whatever skin that I could reach lightly, his body reacting in turn.
"You're safe now," I finally said, drawing both of his hands into mine. "The Cullens won't let anything happen to you," I began. He looked at me intently as I rubbed his cool hands between mine. "They're not the bad guys, you know. They would never let anything happen to you."
He swallowed visibly and opened his mouth. I knew he was preparing himself to talk, so I just waited, warming his hands with my own.
"You're not… like them," he finally said.
"Nope," I answered, unsure of what he meant. "They're vampires." I hated pointing out the obvious, but in the back of my mind, I wondered how much he actually knew about his own nature. "Like… you. And I'm human…" I wasn't positive if this was all painfully evident to the point of sounding condescending, but he didn't seem upset by my words, so I continued.
"I'm not supposed to know about them. Most people don't know vampires even exist," I explained. I thought back to last spring, before I knew they existed. "I always knew something was different about them. From the minute I stepped into the cafeteria my first day." I paused, remembering.
"Their eyes – they changed colors. And their skin, it's so pale. And you're all so beautiful –" I recalled that day in the cafeteria, and in the biology lab afterward. I had had a sinking suspicion during those few hours that something wasn't right with the strange, isolated family, unrelated by blood but all so similar. "But I couldn't put my finger on what it was.
"Then during spring break, I was shopping with some friends and we got separated. I didn't know what was happening until later, but a man, a beautiful man, asked me if I needed help finding them. I didn't, but he told me he'd walk with me anyway," I considered James, not for the first time over the past week. How different my life would be.
I didn't regret Alice saving me, but I could admit now that it wouldn't have been the worst outcome in the world.
I looked back to my vampire, who was watching intently as I retold my story. "He told me it wouldn't hurt for long, that 'once it was over, I would thank him.' He had his hand over my mouth, and as much as I tried to scream, as much as I tried to run, it was obvious that he was far too strong for me. He was amazingly strong. Even in my panic I noticed that no one should have the kind of strength this man had.
"But there was someone who had it, and it was the 5 foot nothing girl I met in biology. She crashed into him, immediately snapping his neck. I thought to scream, but I was too shocked by the display in front of me. Instead, I hid myself in the shadows, watching in horror as the man straightened his broken bones.
"The fight lasted for several minutes, until two others came. Jasper and Carlisle. They ripped James apart -- tore off his limbs. I could see his fingers twitching on the ground near me, but I still couldn't move. Until I felt a cool hand on my shoulder," I remembered with a smile, "then I ran.
"But I didn't get far. Esme only had to reach out and grab my wrist, pulling me back into the shadows. She told me to wait, and that when it was safe I could go to the hospital. But I was watching… as they pulled the remaining parts from his body – watching as his unattached legs twitched and fought against nothing, until the fight was over.
"They put his body in a pile before me and lit it on fire, and it was then that I screamed. I screamed long and loudly, becoming completely unaware of everything around me… until I woke up in this mansion. Carlisle was there, acting first as a doctor, then as a concerned onlooker. The murderer I had witnessed made no appearances. Emmett was also there. To this day, I remember the amusement plain as day on his face. But I was horrified, thinking I was next and unsure as to what exactly they were.
"He asked me several questions, what I remembered, how I was feeling, if I could see straight. I thought that perhaps I should lie and tell him I didn't remember anything, but instead, nothing but broken sobs came out of me. He took a few steps back and gestured to the open door, but I couldn't make my feet move. I was petrified… until Alice came down the stairs. She acted like nothing was wrong, asked me if I was alright, before taking a seat next to me on the couch. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. I knew if I did they would kill me like they killed that man."
I took the next few hours explaining the endless conversations I had about vampires, the time I spent learning about their history, the time they spent learning about mine. I told him a bit about the early days of my friendship with each Cullen, the trips Alice and I took, all the times I saw Carlisle in the E.R. I explained my big-brother relationships with Emmett and Jasper, the animosity that I was feeling toward Rosalie lately, and my confusion in regards to that.
Throughout the night, he didn't say a word, but I knew that he was listening. And it appeared that not only was he listening, but he was interested. Normally I didn't like to dominate a conversation, to talk too much about myself, but he seemed strangely comforted by my stories, so I kept talking.
As the night wore on and I felt myself growing more and more tired, I finally got out of the bed. "I need…" I began, unsure of what I needed at this point. "A human minute," I finished with a smile, as I picked up my bag and brought it to the bathroom. I changed quickly and brushed my teeth, my eyes feeling heavier with every passing minute.
I made my way sluggishly back to the bed. I pulled the covers back and crawled in, not thinking about any awkwardness this could bring until that moment. Would he be comfortable sleeping in a bed with me? Was I comfortable sleeping in a bed with him?
I decided immediately that I was well beyond comfortable with it, but that didn't mean that he was.
I moved closer to him and slowly laid my head on his shoulder. I had never done this before, so I wasn't sure how to go about it, but, for as uncomfortable as his body was, it was oddly soothing. I felt my eyes growing heavy as my head rose and fell in rhythm with his breaths. I quietly brought my exposed arm tenderly over his stomach. With each of his breaths I could feel his body shudder, but he didn't move to distance us. Instead, he quietly wrapped his arm protectively around my shoulder.
It would be heaven under any other circumstances. It very nearly was anyway. I sighed peacefully, enjoying the pattern of his breathing, doing everything in my power to ignore his trembling. Eventually it eased and I felt his body slowly relax. I wanted to look at him, to see that he was okay, but I was already lost somewhere in my subconscious.
I awoke in the middle of the night, feeling unnaturally cold, and realized that I needed to put some distance between us. As much as I didn't want to, I slowly loosened his grip on me and rolled off of him. He looked down at me questioningly, the slight shake of his hands visible to me even in my groggy state. I was too asleep to actually do anything other than roll over, though, so I pushed myself to the other side of the bed and sunk onto my side, immediately falling back into a deep sleep.
**
I squinted, a small shiver running through my body. I was oddly comfortable, refreshed from an amazing night's sleep. I hadn't slept that well in weeks. I curled up tighter, clutching my hands around the pillow that I held.
It was then that I noticed that the pillow was oddly hard. And cold. And… animate.
I immediately recognized what I was grasping, as the entire back half of my body was several degrees cooler than the front. I still lay on my side, facing outward, but I felt his arm draped around me. I couldn't help but smile at the image of Edward lying behind me, wrapping his arms around me.
Too abruptly, though, I turned to face him. Surprised by my sudden movements, he growled sharply and pulled away. I sat up quickly and moved closer to him, my heart breaking as he cowered further. He wouldn't look at me as his body folded in on itself, his arms wrapping tightly around his knees.
"It's okay," I said, suddenly completely awake. I didn't hesitate to touch him, meeting first his shaking hand. I forced his fingers apart, as his whole frame quivered in fear of what I would do to him.
He finally met my eyes, his face a mixture of shock and anxiety. "Please," he whispered, more of a gasp than anything else. I couldn't even keep a tight grip on his hand he was shaking so hard. "Don't hurt…" he pleaded, but my fingers contacting his neck interrupted him. He flinched hard at my touch, but calmed quickly. He closed his eyes and his muscles relaxed a bit, but he was still trembling fiercely. "…me."
"You'll be alright?" I whispered, bringing my other hand to his and holding it between mine. He nodded slightly and closed his eyes, making a visible effort to control his anguish.
While I had planned on taking a shower and brushing my teeth, I knew that I couldn't leave him like this. So instead, I lay on my side behind him, molding my body to his, with the blanket acting as a barrier between our skin.
I wrapped my arm tightly over his trembling shoulders and instead of recoiling, he pushed his body further into mine. It was unexpected, but I knew if I reacted I would scare him, so I forced myself to remain still. I laid my head down on the pillow that his rest on and was able to see nothing other than his neck and hair -- but it was enough. I could see his body calming, and that was what I needed. As he relaxed, I tightened my grip on him, pulling us closer still.
After an eternity of waiting, his trembling stilled completely. I loosened my grip on him and pulled back, letting my forehead briefly touch the area between his shoulders before completely withdrawing.
"I'll be back," I finally whispered, grabbing my bag and heading to the shower.
I tried to make quick work of my morning activities, but the smell of bacon wafting from downstairs was tempting me and I knew the only reason it was being cooked was for my stay.
On the way through the room I stopped at the bed and sat down on the far side, pulling out my laptop and cord. I plugged it in and turned up the volume, letting the music fill the air. My vampire began shaking again and looked at me imploringly, recoiling from the noise.
I briefly thought that maybe this was a bad idea, that he wasn't ready for it. I turned the laptop to show it to him. It only frightened him further.
"It's just a computer," I said, pausing the music briefly. I moved closer to him, the computer on my lap, to show him it wouldn't hurt him.
But the closer I came the more he cowered. Part of me wanted to laugh at his irrational fear of my laptop, but I knew enough to know there was something deeper there. Something very unfunny and dark.
I turned the music back on softly and discarded the laptop to the side table, as far away from him as possible. I came behind him again, trying to ignore it as he cringed, and wrapped myself around him.
He was petrified, but he still wasn't running from me. "It's Debussy," I whispered, running my hand along his arm. It loosened some automatically, the trembling easing. I ran my fingers along his arm in tune with the music in the background, relishing in his calming demeanor.
His trembling finally eased some as the piece changed, so I started separating us.
"Do you want me to leave it on?" I asked, unsure of what to do if he chose not to answer.
I walked around the bed to see his face. He looked at me and nodded minutely, his breathing heavy but calm, as he reached out to my hand.
I took it eagerly, sitting down on the edge of the bed and watching the woods with him. When he started growling minutes later, I knew it was time for breakfast. Once more, I brought his fingers to my lips and kissed his palm. He flinched, although he tried not to let it show. I guess he was expecting the gesture this time.
I smiled at his attempt of subtlety and released him. "Okay, I have to go eat breakfast," I finally said. "I'll be back soon."
**
As I started up the stairs again, Alice quickly caught up with me. We had talked some over breakfast, but she hadn't said anything to indicate that she had plans for us today. But now, as she begged me to come to her room with her, I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach that she had something up her sleeve.
I followed glumly, the dirge that often accompanied this trek playing in my mind.
When we got to her bedroom, she led me to their bed and sat me down.
"Now, don't be upset," she said happily as she rummaged through her closet. "But I did a little shopping."
A loud groan escaped me as I feel backward onto the mattress. Jasper, who had been relatively quiet through this whole thing, looked up from his spot on the couch to mock me. When I felt my mortification multiply, I mustered all the anger that I was feeling. I brought back every memory of everything that had ever infuriated me, letting it all assault my senses. I did everything in my power to hide my delight at his discomfort, but I think the end result was a mixture of fury and self-satisfaction. After several seconds of pure rage, I began to feel my body heat in embarrassment.
Our games were ended when Alice interrupted, "You two are the only ones who think it's funny." She laughed, launching several bags onto the bed next to me. "Seriously, guys, doesn't it ever get old?"
We both shrugged, laughing at our display.
Alice joined in as she began pulling articles of clothing from the bags.
I groaned again.
**
In the end, I decided to only bring a pair of pants and a shirt for him. He didn't need a full wardrobe yet, but, if I was being honest, it was nice that he finally had his own clothes. Somehow, in Alice's shopping, she had chosen a few pieces for comfort rather than fashion. I knew this was just to appease me, as she had mentioned countless times that vampires felt comfortable despite the type of fabric, and I appreciated the gesture.
I could hear the music as I neared the bedroom, the CD I had made was coming to an end. I entered slowly, peeking through the door to make sure everything was okay.
He was sitting at the foot of the bed, looking out the window, when I walked up. I didn't catch him off guard this time, though.
He turned to look at me and a small smile played on his lips. I was still waiting for a real smile from him, but each of these smiles was enough to keep me satisfied. I set the clothes on the foot of the bed before I plopped down next to him, glancing in the direction of his focus and immediately grasping his hand in my own.
We held that position for hours as I told him stories about my friends at school. He didn't say anything during my stories, but I could see his body reacting to the things that I said, so I continued. Eventually, I crawled to the headboard and leaned against it, reaching to the side table and grabbing the book. I flipped slowly through the worn pages. I knew this book got read a lot; it was Emmett's favorite. I think Dracula's position allowed him a sense of superiority, if only in his own mind.
After several hours, Edward withdrew from his trance and moved toward me. He eyed the computer, making sure it wasn't a threat, I guess, and curled up next to me.
He laid his head in my lap slowly, keeping his eyes on mine the whole time.
When he was finally repositioned, I pulled the blanket to cover us and went back to the book. I held it out further so he could see it and flipped back to the beginning. I wasn't sure if he could actually read it, so I opted to read it aloud.
We only got through eleven pages, having to pause after every one for him to touch it, to smell it, to inspect it, before Alice knocked.
My vampire growled sharply and cowered further under the blanket as Alice and Emmett came in.
My attempts at calming him were overlooked as Alice took a seat, cross-legged, at the foot of the bed. Emmett walked to the far corner, as far from Edward as possible, and sat on the ground. He rested his forearms on his knees and smiled widely, his burly laughter filling the room.
"What do you guys want?"
Edward was still shaking, his growling low but menacing, as the two rattled on about Dracula.
She picked up the book and flippantly looked through the pages, scoffing and mumbling things like "garlic," under her breath.
After several minutes, Alice finally turned her attention to us.
"We've been doing some research," she said. I nodded for her to continue as Edward's growls softened.
"Between what we know and what I've seen, it looks like your family died during the Spanish influenza pandemic," she looked directly at Edward as she explained.
I thought about this for a minute. Surely it couldn't be the outbreak. That would mean –
"It would mean that he was changed in 1918," she whispered sadly, watching for our reactions. "And has likely spent his entire life in captivity," she continued.
"How do you know?"
She turned her focus back to him. "I saw your last name," she began. "In a vision, you tell it to Bella. Or, would have, but…" She looked to me quickly and added, "it's Masen. Rosalie, Emmett and I have been researching all day, and given what we already knew, between the three of us, we were able to pull up some old newspaper clippings. It wasn't easy, since people were dying left and right, but we were able to find Edward and Elizabeth Masen, their son Edward, all having died that year." She glanced at me meaningfully, then back to Edward.
"So he's… been in captivity… for 90 years?" I couldn't wrap my head around it. Suddenly it seemed like his reaction to the laptop was rational.
His growling was still there but very light; he was paying attention. He was scared, but he was interested in what she had to say. He clutched my hand tightly, but not so tightly as to hurt me.
"What else can you tell me?"
"We've talked to several friends, and still none of them are turning anything up. We've all heard rumors of places – that conduct experiments – but so far there's been no proof whatsoever. But, Carlisle has run the bracelet by every doctor and website he has access to, and has turned up nothing. No one's even reported him missing… to anything. It's like he – like he doesn't exist. The bracelet is similar to that of a hospital band, except it lacks any form of identification – of the hospital or of the patient. It has to be some sort of lab," she rambled.
"But we don't need to stress about that right now," she concluded, picking invisible lint off of her shirt. "We're going to go," she said, "but we'll come back up tomorrow, once he's calmer. Come downstairs when you're ready, we'll go out to dinner?"
With that, she and Emmett left the room.
He calmed immediately when they were gone, his growling completely dissipating and his trembling reducing itself to nothing.
I began talking to him a bit about Alice's visions and explained the mechanics behind them. I told him how the family relied on them more than they should, and how often the future changed for her. It was always interesting how much Alice was guided by the future, a paradigm of the self-fulfilling prophecy evident in her way of life.
But then, Jasper was guided by other's emotions, as well. I wondered again if Edward really could read minds. Alice had to have been right about that, but he still showed no signs of being able to read mine.
Eventually, when my vampire had completely stilled, I pulled myself off of the bed. It was past seven and I was starving, so I quickly explained that I needed to get dinner and departed the room.
**
Pizza was waiting for me downstairs, and I was grateful not to have to leave again. Emmett and Rosalie were engaged in another video game, Carlisle behind a book, Alice at the piano and Jasper keeping me company. I ate in relative silence, ignoring the comments on the weather and Rose's inability to properly aim a sniper rifle. I rolled my eyes.
After I was finished eating, I cleaned up quickly and headed back upstairs. It was late and I was tired, more mentally exhausted than anything, so I went straight to the bathroom to change. When I came back out, Edward was sitting at the edge of the bed looking outside again. It wasn't the fact that he had moved that startled me though.
I looked over his clothed body several times before walking over to him. The pants that I had given him were now in his lap and instead he wore the clothes that Alice had bought him. He looked up and smiled sadly, pulling his knees to his chest and resting his cheek on them.
"I don't… remember them," he whispered as I made my way over to him and sat down. "I can't remember anything about them." He looked back to the window, losing himself in his thoughts once more. I sat with him, rubbing his back, for several minutes, but quickly realized that he could sit there all night, and I desperately wanted sleep. I moved myself to the pillows and curled toward the middle, watching his back expand with each breath as he kept his gaze trained outside. Eventually, he moved closer to me and laid down. As he settled into the bed, he rolled toward me so that we were facing one another on our sides.
I quickly closed the distance, letting my head rest on his arm. I wrapped myself tightly around his body, making sure to cover myself as best as I could; I didn't want to have to roll away again tonight.
We lay in silence as we held each other, the only audible sounds was that of our breathing.
As I was drifting to sleep, I felt my vampire swallow. So softly, he whispered above my head, "Goodnight… Bella." I thought that I might already be dreaming until I felt his grip on me tighten infinitesimally.
I smiled blissfully, kissing his chest through the t-shirt and whispering, "Goodnight, Edward," before closing my eyes and losing myself in sleep.
**
A/N: things worth noting: You guys never cease to amaze me with the reviews, I sound like a broken record, but seriously... I love them!
Edward's healing, albeit slowly – however, a common question last chapter was why he would lose his vamp memory. So to clarify any confusion – he has retained his memory of his vampire years, his only HUMAN memory left is of that last night.
Review if you miss shirtless-ward! Or review if you're glad he's got his own clothes! Or.. review if you don't care one way or another! (just review?)