Guess who updated? that's right I did! It's been like three months, hasn't it? is that too long? oh well.. I don't own Gakuen Alice or it's characters.
My head is spinning. My world has become chaotic… Please someone lead me out of this sea of confusion.
Mikan didn't know how long she sat in that spot on the floor after Tsubasa left her. It could have been only a few moments or several long hours. It had become clear to her, however, that the Ruka's heart hadn't changed in the slightest, even after all those years. Should she feel flattered? Angry? Happy? Guilty? Mikan didn't know what she should feel, or even what she did feel. It was as if she had gone back in time and the people she had known remained the same while she had changed. For a few precious moments she had felt she could become her ten-year-old self once more, but reality had slapped her in the face.
Mikan couldn't go back to the person she was, not with the ghosts of Natsume and Hiroshi haunting her mind. What she wanted to do is keep grieving, but she had wake up some time. It seemed some much easier just to let herself fade into death instead of trying to learn how to live again. But after Natsume and Hiroshi had left her, after she'd experience unbearably sorrow, how could she inflict that same woe onto Ruka?
Maybe…Mikan thought, just maybe if I… She stood up slowly, unsure of whether she could do the right thing yet determined to try anyway. It took her a moment to remember which way to Tsubasa's living room. As she passed a closed door Mikan heard the couple giggling, she couldn't help but smile. There had been a time when she and Natsume had been like that, but it was only a distant memory now…
Not wishing to disturb the couple, Mikan searched for a phone. After five minute looking Mikan spotted Tsubasa's cell phone lying on the kitchen counter.
Shifting through Tsubasa's contacts, Mikan couldn't help but smile at how he listed Ruka's number under Ruka-pyon, Mikan's old nickname for him. At first she hesitated, not sure whether she had it in her to explain to Ruka what she needed. Mikan took a deep breath in and clicked on his name. Mikan put the phone to her ear. It rang thrice before Ruka picked it up.
"If you're calling to scold me I don't need to hear it, Tsubasa! I know I shouldn't have kissed her, but I just lost control!" Ruka snapped into the phone. Mikan suppressed a giggle despite her current predicament.
"I just have something to request of you, Ruka-pyon." Mikan heard Ruka inhale shapely.
"Mikan! I'm sorry I didn't expect you to call from Tsubasa's phone… "He murmured, failing to hide his shock. "I'm also sorry about what happened... I don't know what overcame me-"
"It's alright, I understand how you must feel…" Mikan paused, unsure how she could word hr question. "I just need some time to realize how I feel. I was just wondering if you could let me be for awhile, just until I have my feelings sorted out."
"I understand." Ruka answered flatly. "Just call when you're ready to see me again."
Ruka's POV
Even if you can forgive me how can I forgive myself? I love you, but could you ever love me…
Ruka sighed as he hung up, disappointed in himself. He had made the girl he loved unhappy, worse Sakura didn't want to see him anymore. He was so occupied with how foolish he had been that he almost didn't notice his phone ringing once more. Luckily, he realized just in time to pick it up.
"Hello?" Ruka mumbled into the phone, knowing not to trust his caller ID from experience.
"I happened to overhear your conversation, Ruka-pyon~" Ruka was half releaved, and half annoyed to hear Tsubasa's voice on the other end. "What did you do this time?"
"I KISSED HER, OKAY!" Ruka cried into the phone, stressed to the point of losing his temper. "AND I KNOW I'M A FOOL! I KNOW I SHOULDN'T OF!"
"Cool off Ruka!" Tsubasa told him gently but firmly. "You may regret it, but perhaps it's for the best." But how could that be? Was Tsubasa playing with him?
"Look at it this way, you've awoken her Ruka. Now she knows she has to stop pretending because your feelings are real." Ruka was glad Tsubasa couldn't see his eyes widening in wonderment. Maybe he really did have a valid point…
"Now you have the chance that she will answer your feelings for her. That's something you couldn't have hoped for before."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped." Ruka sighed, "I still don't think she'll come to love me like I love her, Sakura's still head over heels in love with a dead man."
"You're too pessimistic, Ruka. There's still time for Mikan to move on, you just need to let her have it. I can only trust you won't be a fool." A beep let Ruka know Tsubasa had hung up.
Ruka just stood there for a couple minutes, ashamed to admit to himself that Tsubasa had been right. Maybe this was all for the best. Deep in thought, Ruka finally took care of the rabbit's injured paw.
How was this chapter? I apologize if it was lacking action.. This fic is just kinda hard to write... I'd love it if you would review!