A/N: Thanks to OCD_Indeed as always.

Jeesiechreesie and Americnxidiot for holding me hand and the prereaders for helping me through it.

Jilburfm for being an ammmaaazing beta and getting me through three drafts of this.

And all the reviews/pm'ers/readers/clickers! You're all wonderful!

And to temptation podcast for asking me to be a guest (episode 22) -- found here: temptationtwilight (dot) blogspot (dot) com

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The Reunion

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Bella POV

The cool October rain fell wildly around me as I rushed toward my vampire. Maneuvering through the thick mud without tripping was both exhilarating and infuriating, as I wanted nothing more in the world than to wrap my body around his and show him how much I loved him. My movements were graceless and hasty, but it didn't matter.

He took a cautious step in my direction and stiffened at the feel of the water on his skin. Immediately, he was drenched, his hair sopping and his clothes damp. I smiled.

I slowed down as I neared him, perplexed by his actions. I knew he had likely never felt the rain before, and couldn't help but be amazed by the fact that he had made it out here on his own. He had waited for me, outside, by himself, and was now standing amidst a downpour to meet me halfway. He had pushed his own limits in my absence. Could I drive him further? I could feel my resolve begin to falter as my shaky legs carried me to him.

But he loved me, right? He wouldn't be here, awaiting my return, otherwise. As I considered if there was even a remote possibility that he loved me in return, I stopped walking and tilted my head upward, closing my eyes and relishing in the feel of the pouring water.

When I looked back down, he was just as I had left him, the rain dancing off of his skin in every direction.

I reached out my hand and gestured for him to join me, beckoning him closer. When he took another hesitant step toward me, I started moving to him again.

His t-shirt stuck to his body and I eyed him appreciatively. I needed to get him in the rain more often.

It wasn't as though the water was warm. In fact, if I let myself concentrate on it, the slamming droplets combined with the chilly Washington weather was anything but. However, I had other things to concentrate on, and I found myself able to completely disregard the forced shivers running through my body. My mind refused to work cohesively as I neared him, considering all the reasons for and against pushing him. I didn't have much time to make a decision, and my excitement at our reunion was growing with each step.

When he was finally within my reach, I extended my arm and took his hand. He was shaking too, but for entirely different reasons. I didn't care. He was alive, in one piece, and at the house. If I knew anything, it was not to take this for granted.

Without any words, I pulled him to me, releasing his trembling fingers as our bodies connected and opting to lock my arms around his back, instead. I pressed myself flat against him and could have died when his arms encircled my shoulders. His face found the nape of my neck and I smiled against his chest. Kiss or no kiss, the new plan was that I would never let go of him again. Surely we could find a way to make it work?

But we were drenched, and I was freezing, and admittedly, Edward wasn't entirely comfortable in weather that he had never experienced first hand before. I couldn't think past the feel of his arms wrapped around mine, but I knew that my body was betraying me more with every passing moment. I tried to nuzzle further into him, in a vain effort to quell my trembles, but I was failing. The metaphorical warmth of his body offered nothing to mine physically.

He inhaled, allowing his nose to contact the skin below my ear. And just like that, every argument I had come up with against kissing him suddenly faded. But then he pulled away, giving me a chance to pull myself together. Making a rash decision when it came to kissing Edward could be the worst mistake of my life. It was important that I consider it from all angles.

When I didn't budge, I saw his lips turn up slightly, before he moved his hands behind his back to encircle my wrists.

Gently, he pried my hands apart and distanced us just enough for me to see his entire face.

He smiled tentatively when he looked at me, then turned his head to the porch. I nodded, clasping my hand around his and leading us out of the rain.

We stepped onto the porch and I noticed a heap of fabric sitting just out of the rain's reach. With trembling fingers, I reached down and picked apart the bundle. A thick, inviting blanket lay before me and I eagerly pulled off my jacket, wrapping the warm, dry fabric around myself instead. My shivers instantly calmed and I turned back to Edward.

"Did you…?" I asked. Either that or another of Alice's tricks. Regardless, I was grateful.

He shook his head and smiled slightly, sitting on the wooden step that was just barely sheltered from the storm.

I had a million questions for him, especially after Alice's revelation in the car. I had been worried about what I would come home to, and a part of me knew I wasn't going to get off this easily. However, as I took my seat next to him, his calm disposition astounded me. There was that deep-rooted pain in his eyes, sure; there was always pain in his eyes. He didn't seem excessively jittery or anxious, though. He seemed almost… relieved?

He took my right hand in his and squeezed it gently, smiling when I broke from my trance and gave him my full attention. I stealthily sidled toward him, effectively closing the small gap that was left between us, and rested my other hand on his lower back. Admittedly, this wouldn't constitute as "pushing limits" by any normal definition. However, I wasn't sure how far he was ready to be pushed, and if I was to never let go of him again, surely we had a few hours to work out how far we could go.

Images of my original intent flickered in my mind and I unconsciously licked my lips. In fact, I only realized I had done it when his expression shifted and his eyes left mine to survey the land. I blushed a deeper shade of crimson than I had ever let him see before and looked down, hiding myself behind a thick curtain of hair.

I kept my eyes closed and averted for several seconds, until I felt his cool hand pushing my hair from my face. When it swept across my neck, an overt shiver crept up my spine. I looked at him sheepishly, a smile forcing itself onto my features. Eventually, I let it out.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

They were the first words spoken between us since I got back. They didn't seem to properly catch the weight of what I was feeling, but it was certainly the most important and pressing matter. The gooey, gushy butterflies would have to wait. Possibly indefinitely, as I thought about it more.

He nodded and closed his eyes, gripping my hand tighter as we considered the question. He certainly wasn't okay. Was it really fair for me to even consider an action so forward and frightening as kissing him? The concept scared me, and I was raised understanding what love was, what kisses meant and their importance to any relationship. He spent the last ninety years having no exposure to any of it. He would think I was attacking him, no doubt.

And what of his venom? There were, of course, some merits to the chaste kisses that twelve year olds exchanged, but I wasn't positive that I'd be able to control myself once I got on that train. Suddenly, a million doubts plagued my mind and I realized that my plans to push him had been hasty and irrational. I could push without shoving, and that was obviously the better path to take.

Clearly, it wouldn't be in anyone's best interest for me force him to move too quickly. My rapidly fluttering heart could, and would, wait.

For now, I would settle for getting him talking. He had been holed up in his room all weekend with little to no contact, suffering in silence of the fallout from his encounter with Jane. Alice had explained to me that she had hurt him, but refused to divulge the details. So of course, she was downplaying the experience. Naturally.

I looked up at him, thoroughly considering the possible outcome of my next words.

"Jane –" I began softly, tightening my fingers around his. The effort would be lost if he chose to withdraw, but hopefully he would at least understand that I was prepared to be here for him. "Was it bad?" I whispered, circling the pale skin on his hand. This. This was the kind of pushing he needed. No more silly fantasies until he was in a better place. He had been through hell, and he needed time to recover before I did anything ridiculous.

He nodded and closed his eyes, swallowing in preparation to speak. I smiled, knowing that his voice was just seconds away. I missed that voice.

"I'm okay," he whispered, smiling slightly as he reached his free hand into the rain. He sat perfectly still, watching the droplets attack his skin, marveling once more at something that I had never even considered. I allowed myself to marvel with him as the rain collided with his flesh and naturally bounced from his body.

"How did it go?" I finally asked. The silence was worrisome. Of course, he was always silent, but after the weekend he had, it had me petrified that he wasn't the same. And should he be? If I had been through what he went through, I certainly wouldn't have come out of it with my sanity.

He sat next to me, his face and thoughts distant except for the subtle trembling in his shoulders. "Hey," I whispered.

Immediately, he came back to me, his eyes lost and frightened and… sad. Really sad. I was instantly grateful for my decision not to let my hormones win as I watched a heavy breath escape his lips.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, in nothing more than a hushed whisper.

It was more than a little surprising when, instead of remaining silent and stoic, he answered. "When he touched me…" He pulled his hand from mine and touched his bicep distantly. "I saw everything," he whispered, turning his attention back to me. "Everything… that I've been trying not to see…" he swallowed and clenched his eyes shut. "… I saw."

And just like that, the gravity of his weekend came crashing down on me. Not only was he forced to interact with strangers when he could barely get a grip on himself around the family who had been nothing but kind to him, but he was forced to deal with his past, as well. He shook his head and tried to smile, but there was nothing happy about it.

"Why did you do it?" he suddenly asked, still not looking directly at me. He swallowed and continued his surveillance of the area.

"Do what?"

"All of it," he said sadly. "I'm… I'm dangerous. Why," he whispered. "Why would you…" He shook his head, fighting some internal battle. "…come to me? Risk your life… for me?"

I considered his question. Why had I risked my life for him? This wasn't the first time I thought about it. I had been reckless and stupid from the first minute I had seen him, and yet I continued on, knowing that at any moment he could have obliterated me. He still could, if he chose to.

"What else could I do?" I finally answered. It was true enough, without delving into the full ridiculousness of my rationale.

"Have you ever thought… that maybe… it would be better if I left?" he asked, his hand beginning to shake underneath mine. I blanched.

"No," I answered, inflecting the greatest amount of finality I was capable of while my insides threatened to spill out of my pores. "Never."

Had I inadvertently indicated that I might prefer him gone? No, that would be outrageous, when I wanted the exact opposite. This line of questioning terrified me, though. Was it what he wanted? In the back of my mind, I always knew it was a possibility. That he would need a chance to explore and grow and that it wouldn't include me. I guess, subconsciously, I had decided that I could wait for him to return, as hard as it might be. But this didn't sound like a learning experience. This sounded much worse. I kept my panic under wraps.

"Why?" I whispered.

"I just… I just don't want you to regret this."

I squeezed his hand and leaned my head on his shoulder, watching the rain gravitate toward the shallow puddles in the driveway. "I don't," I said, letting my cheek fall heavily against his drenched shirt. I inhaled surreptitiously, basking in the scent of Edward and rain. As sure as I was that vampires didn't actually have a specific scent, I was somehow comforted by what I found.

I smiled up at him and turned my face into his shoulder, inhaling deeply and throwing stealth to the wind. "I have a laundry list of regrets," I began, "but this will never be on it."

For a long time, we sat silently, letting my words settle in, before he finally spoke.

"I need to know," he began quietly, his fingers shaking around mine, "what you're thinking." His eyes met mine and he looked as conflicted as I felt. I took a moment to consider the repercussions of telling him the truth. Of letting it all out there, for better or worse. Of telling my vampire how deep my feelings for him truly ran.

On the one hand, it might finally allow him to really open up. It could help him realize how much I cared for him and how much it hurts me see him hurt. On the other, it could be too much. Could scare him away from me and I would lose what I loved the most. Or, there was always the possibility that he had no concept of love. Would it just be a word to him? Could I handle rejection if I had been wrong about his feelings?

I nervously swallowed, opening my mouth to speak.

"I'm thinking…" I started, watching the reflection of the rain in his dark eyes. I should just spit it out. Could I, though? I inhaled deeply. "I'm thinking that I…"

He looked so anxious for my words and I was stuttering like a fool. I tightened the blanket around my shoulders and closed my eyes.

"…That I love you," I finally whispered. On some level, I regretted keeping my eyes closed, as I was missing what was probably the only reaction I would get from him, but I couldn't face the rejection I was sure to receive. I didn't expect him to repeat the sentiment, but I wasn't sure if there was anything worse than the awkward silence that followed my confession.

My jaw and my fingers and my shoulders and every other part of me were shaking, waiting for my vampire to retreat, and I loved him. And he knew. I had never told that to anyone outside of my immediate family, but I knew it was the truth. It was real and scary and I had no idea why, but it was me. And it was us. And in my panic, it took several seconds for me to feel his fingers against my jaw, guiding my face in his direction.

I finally opened my eyes.

"I love you, Edward."

He smiled longingly and searched my face, his fingertips remaining tenderly placed on my cheek. He looked too sad to feel it back. My heart sank.

I tried to look away, to hide the tears that were threatening to pour from my eyes, but I couldn't. I knew that he wasn't going to tell me he felt the same way, but I had hoped that I might get at least some indication that he felt it, too. And did I honestly think that I would be okay with his rejection? If I did, I was wrong. It felt like my heart was constricting into nothing. And it hurt.

"But it's… it's… not safe," he said, his voice frightened and apprehensive.

"I don't care," I replied, internally begging for some indication that the feeling was mutual. I didn't need everything; I just needed to know there was hope. That he cared for me in any capacity. Had I imagined everything? He hadn't ever told me about his past; I couldn't even remember him telling me about his days when I was at school. He hadn't ever invited me in or asked me to lay with him or read with him. It had all been me. Could I really have imposed myself on him without his consent and mistaken his permissiveness for love?

But he had waited for my return. And that was something, wasn't it?

"I don't care if it's dangerous, Edward. You won't hurt me. I know you won't."

"What if… I'm not the most dangerous thing…?"

"What – the people who had you?" I spoke without thinking, taken aback by his questioning. What danger was he talking about?

"Just… are you sure?" He looked at me so desperately that I just wanted to hug him and tell him everything would be fine. "Are you sure that this is… what you want?"

"There's not a question in my mind," I responded, lifting my hand to cover his, "that this is what I need."

"Bella," he sighed, breaking my gaze and looking to the woods.

We sat silently as I thought about his reaction. In retrospect, it probably could have gone worse. He could have flat out rejected me and run. I couldn't have kept up, and I would never be able to find him. Or he could have told me he didn't love me. Or that he hated me.

I just needed to get back on track. It was for the better that he knew, and maybe one day he would feel it, too. I could hope for that much.

The palpable silence was growing by the second, and in my quest for some indication that anything I had imagined was mutual, I finally spoke. "Tell me about it," I requested, keeping my voice as subtle as possible.

"What do you want to know?" His eyebrows pulled together slightly as he regarded me.

"I don't know. Tell me about what happened?" I looked at him longingly. Deciding to guide him into conversation, I continued, "Tell me about Jane?"

His eyes took on the glazed over look once more as he contemplated my request.

"Jane…" he began. He shook his head, looking at me hopelessly, thoroughly unprepared to provide an answer. I slumped against him and closed my eyes, my fingers absently tracing his as we sat in silence.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed before he spoke again. "She knew," he whispered, "There was never any question…"

I started to pull back so that I could look at his face, but he moved his arm to my shoulder and held me to him.

"Alice told me what happened," I mumbled into his shirt, keeping my focus on the rain. I didn't know if I could handle his pain. Not this time.

I felt his nod simultaneously with the cool gust of air that swept my head. I wrapped my arms as far around him as they would reach, bringing myself closer still.

"What do you mean she knew?"

"In her head…" He swallowed, his breathing coming harder. "I could tell… when they came… that she… enjoyed… herself…" His voice trailed off and I moved my face against his shoulder in something close to a nod.

"There was never a doubt… with her," he continued. "As soon as they came in…" His voice grew softer as he continued retelling the events as he saw them. "…I knew it was… it was only a matter of time." The words came out as barely a whisper, pained and deep and dark.

"The – the men who…" I regarded him with trepidation as he struggled through his words. "They never knew… that I could hear their thoughts."

I tried to hide my surprise at his willingness to talk about his experience as he continued quietly. "It wasn't as if I spoke to them. When I did try to… speak to them… it only made things worse. They had no way of finding out. So I didn't understand what I was hearing for a long time. In fact, I'm not sure if I ever fully understood it… but I could guess that I was hearing things I wasn't meant to hear, and that alone kept me quiet.

"Jane's mind was similar. I knew exactly what her plans were… she didn't try to veil them."

I considered what he was telling me as he continued. "Aro was different, though. Because he knew. Even the Cullens, after they found out, didn't succeed in changing their thoughts. But Aro… he was different. He was hiding his intentions, his motivations. He was lying through his thoughts… and it was petrifying."

"What did he want?" I whispered, getting too wrapped up in the story to care that it was getting dark.

"I'm not sure," he responded quietly, tightening his arm around my shoulder. If I thought I couldn't get closer to him, I was wrong. My body pressed against his and it was the only thing keeping me from breaking at his tale. "At first, he wanted nothing more than… me." I wasn't sure what it meant, but I was certain that it couldn't actually be a good thing. What would the Volturi want with my vampire?

"But his thoughts… and his words and his actions… they didn't line up. Nothing lined up. And he wasn't slowing down, and I guess... I guess I panicked." He let the word hang there for several seconds, making no effort at further explanation.

I reached up and grazed his cheek with the back of my hand, resisting the urges that I knew I needed to keep at bay. It was maddening, but he was in pain, and he came first.

"It – I wasn't really – in the best place," he continued, his voice hushed and pained. "And when he came in… I was singularly focused on him… to the point of letting everything else slip from my mind. I could hear people telling me to stop, and I could hear laughter, and screaming and… the noises from the house and from… outside, but it all blended together… because he was trying to manipulate me with his thoughts. And he wasn't slowing down." He inhaled deeply and shivered, his body jolting reflexively.

He smiled humorlessly and shook his head. "And then… Jane." I could feel his body trembling against mine as he recounted the events. "And the pain. And suddenly I found myself… in a room, on a table…" His voice was shaking and I was shaking and I knew I was only seconds away from falling apart, but I held it together… for him.

"… And I couldn't move or see, and I couldn't hear anything beyond the shrill noise of whatever tools the men were using, and I thought I had slept… that none of it had been real." His breathing was speeding up as the tremors ran through his body.

"… And that I would spend the rest of existence in that room. But then I felt her wrap herself around me and I heard her voice trying to take the pain away… and I knew it couldn't have all been a dream." His voice cracked a little as he continued on. Needless to say, the tears had begun to silently fall down my face, blending into his already drenched shirt.

"Then, after an eternity, the pain changed. It didn't go away, but it moved. Suddenly I didn't recognize my own screams anymore. It wasn't until I saw him on the floor that I understood what had happened."

Alice hadn't told me that part. She told me that Jane had worked her power on Edward, but the story that he was pitching didn't exactly line up with the one she had given me. "Who…?" I asked, sniffling in a vain effort to stifle my sobs.

"Carlisle," he whispered. I pulled back and looked up at him, wishing that I could read his mind. "He threw himself in front of her," his voice trailed off and he turned his attention back to the rain.

I smiled sadly. That sounded like Carlisle, although Alice had left it out. I'd need to thank him at some point; who knows what would have happened had he not been there for Edward.

"He has the kindest mind," he continued on, not ceasing to amaze me, "that I've ever been around. I can see why you love them."

I smiled and thought about it. I had to agree; I'd never met a kinder or more compassionate man than Carlisle. The story really shouldn't have shocked me; it was true to his character. And he loved Edward. That thought alone lifted some of the weight of the past.

"Then Aro…?" I prompted him to continue, but he shook his head.

"Tomorrow," he whispered, surveying the sky. My eyes followed his as we looked out into the darkness surrounding the house.

Our time was rapidly coming to a close as we sat side by side on the porch. We hadn't moved, and I couldn't bring myself to care. I was certain I would pay for it in the morning, when my legs were immobile and my back ached fiercely, but after his story, I allowed myself to think that maybe… maybe I hadn't imagined it.

I knew if I thought too hard about what he had told me I would cry again, but as we sat in silence, I couldn't help but recognize the fact that he had been open with me. As horrifying as his past had been, at least he was trusting me enough to tell me a little bit about it. I tried telling myself it was better than any kiss ever could have been, and maybe it was, but I obviously wasn't buying it.

I turned into him and kissed his covered shoulder, locking my hand around his once more and squeezing it tightly. I was decidedly glad that he knew that I loved him. I hadn't been doing a great job keeping it a secret before, but it was important that he knew. With no concept of love, of course he wouldn't understand the meaning behind my actions otherwise. I squeezed his hand again before standing, the blanket falling from my shoulders as I stretched my legs. He raised himself, as well.

Alice would be coming out to take me home soon, but it didn't stop me from wrapping my arms around him once more. I laid my face flat against his chest, partially for the closeness and partially to keep myself in check. Maybe we could slowly work toward something more; I couldn't abuse whatever trust he had in me by molesting him on the porch.

I smiled against him and squeezed his torso tighter, relishing in his strong arms locked around my back.

I felt his throat constrict as he swallowed heavily before unlocking his arms and planting them on my shoulders. He forced me back a few inches; just enough for me us to make eye contact. I smiled.

Hesitantly, he leaned toward me. I thought my heart would burst out of my chest with anticipation. There was no way. I needed to control myself. I watched as his face approached mine and softly, his cool lips brushed my forehead. And it was bliss. I closed my eyes and allowed my body to lean into his kiss, not willing to waste a second of this moment.

He exhaled and the cool burst swept over the tingling flesh on my forehead, shooting a series of shivers through every bone and muscle and pore of my body. I wanted to scream or laugh or cry or sing, but I stood still and instead, brought my hands to his sides.

"I was…" he began, pausing and slowly leaning his forehead against mine. I was ready to melt. I was ready to do anything, but this torture – it was killing me. "I wanted to try something."

I nodded, my voice having been lost quite a while back. God, I hope he wanted to try what I wanted him to try. My body was revolting against my mind, eager to take over and push things along. Every part of me wanted to pull him closer and touch him and kiss him and love him; every part but the rational thinking part. My hands crept up his sides on their own volition as he turned his head slightly.

My breath hitched as a gust of air assaulted me; I inhaled it greedily.

When my hands finally reached his neck, I locked my fingers on either side. My fingertips comfortably nestled into his hair as I used all the self control I was capable of to prevent myself from guiding him toward me. I had been determined not to force this, but the anticipation was creating a cloudy haze around my former rationality. He had initiated it, would it really be that bad for me to accelerate his movements?

I stretched onto the balls of my feet to give him better access and automatically cocked my head a little. I kept my hands planted firmly on his neck and I closed my eyes, my breathing growing more erratic with anticipation and excitement and fear and love. I loved him. I loved him so much, and he was inching his way closer to me. I could've died in that moment, as the muscles in my hands and arms and shoulders told me the distance was being closed. And it wasn't fast enough.

Instinct told me that only seconds had passed since he last spoke, but the adrenaline and the anxiety were making me hyperaware of every feeling and sensation that coursed through me. It was maddening.

My mouth parted slightly and I could feel his shallow breaths on my tongue. Delicious. We stood like that, breathing in time, sharing the air that passed between us, for countless seconds. I waited impatiently for my vampire to close the little distance that was left.

My fingers were knotted tightly into his hair and I could feel my knuckles straining, the muscles in my biceps flexing painfully as I realized that I had been subconsciously pulling him closer. I wondered if he even noticed my efforts.

I didn't have enough time to contemplate it though, because the world disappeared around me in the moment that his lips met mine. And suddenly we were floating, and we were on top of the world, and it was beautiful.

There was no rigid muscle versus malleable skin, no chilled granite versus warm flesh, no indestructible and strong versus breakable and weak. There was just me and him, and it was ecstasy.

Our worlds had collided and solidified as my hands crept further into his hair.

I pulled him toward me uselessly, but he knew what I was requesting and he complied. My lips remained slightly parted and I could feel the swell of his upper lip between them as I angled my head further. He kept his mouth decidedly closed, despite my desperate attempts to push him further, so I surrendered to him. And the moment was perfect.

I continually tried to lift myself higher, eventually resting my full weight on my toes, as I held onto my vampire for dear life. The tingling warmth that pulsated through me at the feel of his cool lips on mine just about did me in, but I persevered, because this was just the first of many, many more. If I had anything to say about it.

And when he finally pulled away, he ran a shaky hand through my hair. I didn't want to let him go. Ever.

He touched my trembling cheek affectionately as he looked down at me. Suddenly, his mouth turned up into a smile.

"I need you, too," he whispered, the back of his hand running along my jaw, just as I had done to his countless times before. I struggled to keep my balance. Once again, his forehead rested against mine, our noses side by side and our eyes just centimeters apart. His were closed, but the small smile that had crept upon his mouth widened slightly. "Alice is waiting."

"Let her wait," I responded, lifting myself once more. We were both smiling as our lips touched. It was lighter this time, but it didn't mean any less than the first. We separated quickly and I backed up, knowing that at this rate I would never leave. And Charlie was waiting up for me.

"I'll see you after school tomorrow?" I asked, suddenly self conscious.

"I'll be here," he whispered, his lips still set in the first genuinely happy smile that I'd ever seen from him.

I backed away slowly and turned around, stumbling down the steps and into the rain. As I awkwardly made my way to the car, my giddiness threatened to overtake me. I touched my fingertips to my mouth and somehow managed to hold in the squeal of excitement until Alice and I were safely in the car. I'm sure he heard it anyway.

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A/N: Reviews let me know how I'm doing, so please, review!