Warning: Rated M for sexual content in later chapters.
Chapter: 3 of 10
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.
When It Rains
John did a double take at the sight of Teyla as she walked into the gate room. The light of the open wormhole shimmered over her face, and she looked pale and drawn like she might've been crying. If this is about Kanaan again—John quelled the wave of anger and reminded himself that he'd turned over a new leaf. Two weeks ago in the botany lab when Teyla had confided in him about Kanaan's absence, he had barely managed to contain his disgust for the man. He had noticed Kanaan's frequent trips through the gate, but was surprised that Teyla had brought it up. The irony of the situation—that the man who was Torren's father, the man who was allowed to share a bed with Teyla, didn't seem to want to be with them—was infuriating to John. John would've given anything for Torren to be his, done anything to wake up next to Teyla in the morning. And the one person who had those privileges didn't seem to know what he had. He'd tried to be supportive of Teyla that day, but as he had walked to his quarters through the city halls with Torren, holding him to his chest and inhaling the fresh baby scent, John's opinion of Kanaan had plummeted to a new low. The gate whooshed open, distracting John from his thoughts, and frowning, he stepped through with Teyla and Ronon.
He and Teyla sat with their backs against the rough stone wall in a drizzle of moisture too light to be called rain but heavier than fog, waiting for Ronon to return from the nearby village where he was visiting old friends to gather intelligence. John had been scrutinizing her profile, squinting through the mist, and he wondered if she was crying or if it was just the rain on her cheeks. He really hoped this wasn't about Kanaan, but he was pretty sure that it was and it filled him with frustration.
"So, do you want to talk about it?" he ventured, holding his breath a little and hoping he was saying the right thing. She was silent for a long moment, looking off over the hill through the curtains of mist, then she turned her head and looked at the rocky ground ahead of her.
"Kanaan is moving away." Her voice was tight and strained.
"Did he say why?" John didn't want to assume anything so he tried to keep his voice neutral.
"I asked him to leave," she said, still not looking at him.
"Why?" he blurted out abruptly, losing his polite veneer.
Teyla was silent for a long moment, staring ahead of her blankly across the treeless landscape, then, "He has become involved with another woman."
John's senses seemed to freeze and his mind filled with white noise. "What?" he managed, grinding through clenched teeth and trying to control the tide of fury that swept through him.
"He will be leaving in a few days to live with this woman and her family on their home world," Teyla replied emotionlessly, looking over at him with a blank face, but John could see the pain behind her eyes and he was crushed. He gazed over at her and wanted to put his arm around her, but wasn't sure she would want that. Underneath his anger, he was ashamed to realize that despite his sorrow for Teyla, a small flame of happiness had leapt up in him—Kanaan was leaving.
"What about Torren?" John managed to keep his voice level. "Is Kanaan still going to be involved in his life?"
Teyla wiped the damp curling hair away from her face and stared back at the ground. "No. He has decided it would not be good for Torren to have his father in and out of his life with no predictability." She paused, clearing her throat, then continued, "And I agree with him." She drew her mouth in a straight line that John recognized as stubbornness, and he wondered whose idea this had been. Although he thought it seemed like a good idea too, partly for his own selfish reasons, but also because he didn't want to see them torn up by Kanaan waltzing in and out of their lives, creating chaos. "I'm sorry, Teyla," he murmured, and was surprised to realize that it was the truth, that he would rather have Teyla happy and with someone, even if it wasn't him, than broken hearted.
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John stepped through the gate onto New Athos and lifted his hand to shield his eyes from the torrential downpour that immediately soaked his clothes. He wondered if he had gotten his timing wrong, but then he saw a lone figure making its way through the sheets of rain to the gate. John walked a little closer and was satisfied to see it was Kanaan, pack over his shoulder, hair plastered to his head from the pelting drops. Kanaan looked up and a sullen expression settled over his face when he saw John. He hesitated for a moment, then continued slowly toward the gate and scowled at John. "Your presence is unnecessary here, Colonel Sheppard."
John merely stared at him. "Just making sure you're leaving on time."
Kanaan dialed the DHD, then stepped toward John, who had positioned himself, arms crossed, between Kanaan and the gate. Kanaan veered around John, avoiding his eyes and moving toward the wormhole, but John continued. "One thing, Kanaan. Once you're gone, you're done. I don't want you having some change of heart, deciding you're going to be a man of integrity and coming back here to mess up their lives. You step through that gate and I don't want to see you again." He pivoted to see that Kanaan had also turned to face him, and John looked at him with a challenge.
Kanaan glared at him. "These are my people and I can visit them anytime I wish," he replied.
"And I'll be waiting right here for you if you do come back," said John, taking a step closer to Kanaan, right up into his personal space. He was careful to control his emotions; he'd promised himself he wouldn't get into a physical altercation with Kanaan, since it would only upset Teyla further.
The sulky look on Kanaan's face turned enraged, but after a moment he slid his eyes away from John's. Then he looked back up and sneered, "If you go to her now, I am sure she would spread her legs for you."
Kanaan's head jerked back and then snapped forward and a bead of dark blood appeared below one nostril. John felt a sting across his knuckles and realized he had punched the man. Kanaan reached slowly to wipe his nose and gave John a look of pure hatred, but turned his back and walked through the gate without another word.
The wormhole sputtered closed, and John turned to gaze through the sheets of rain in the direction of the Athosian settlement. He wondered if Teyla and Torren were alone, and he wanted to go to them, but he figured that the last thing she would want right now was another guy hanging around complicating things. He sloshed through the mud to the DHD and dialed Atlantis.
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Drops of sweat glistened on Teyla's temples and her breaths were coming short and fast as she circled John. He had never seen her spar with so much furious energy, and his aching backside and arms begged for him to stop, but he was afraid of what would happen if he dropped his guard to call for a truce.
She rushed forward again with a whirlwind of furious blows and it took all of John's concentration to parry her advances. As she backed him toward the wall of the gym, her blows became wilder and she was dropping her guard with each step, but there was no way he was going to go on the offensive right now... he was doing well to keep her sticks from cracking him across the arm again.
Teyla arched up and brought her stick crashing down on to John's with a force that cracked the stick and sent half of it flying across the room, bouncing on the floor and shedding splinters. She stepped back with a cry of frustration and paced back and forth, her body tense with anger.
"It's okay to be angry at him, Teyla," John ventured, but kept his sticks in front of him at the ready.
Her head snapped up and she whirled around and threw the other half of the stick across the room, where it ricocheted against the walls, making John duck away from it.
"I am not angry with Kanaan!" she shouted, eyes ablaze. She resumed her pacing across the wooden floor, her back to John, and he was unsure of what to say now.
"Okay, who are you angry at?" he asked, confused, his stomach sinking at the thought that it might be him.
"I am angry at myself!" Her voice broke and her shoulders slumped, and she dropped her remaining stick to the gym floor. She trudged through the dimming sunlight that slanted across the room, set her back to the wall, and slid down to a sitting position on the floor, drawing her knees up to her chest.
A rush of sympathy filled him and John finally dropped his guard, crossing the room toward her as she dropped her head to rest on her forearms.
"Teyla, you didn't do anything wrong," he said gently as he sank down next to her.
"I should have known! I chose a dishonorable man as a father for my son. I judged his character poorly and my son will have to pay the price for my foolishness." Her distraught voice was muffled from between her arms and he raised an arm to lay it across her shoulders.
"There's no way you could have known how this would turn out, Teyla," he told her, his heart filled with pain for her loss.
She lifted stricken eyes to him in the fading light. "I should have known, John! I should have known." He made no reply but to stroke his hand down the back of her hair and pull her closer.
TBC