Hey guys, here's number three for you. I got a few reviews for this chapter that really motivated me so I've gotten started on Entry 4 already! Any feedback is really appreciated; it helps me to know where you want the story to go!

Dear X,

Back in sophomore year Coach Sylvester let me join her half of the glee club because she thought I was Dutch. I never knew why she thought that… then today it came up again. We were lying in San's bed after getting our morning mack on, reading some of her mom's magazines. There was an article about a lesbian wedding in one of them. I watched her face super close while she read it so I could see how she felt but she just looked really calm. Then after a minute she looked at me and she said that when we get married, she's being the one who wears the dress because I'm the most Dutch.

WHEN WE GET MARRIED.

I think I'm engaged. I'm going to let Lord T break out the celebration cigars. Anyway, I don't know why she thinks I'm Dutch but she was doing her teasing face too so that confused me even more. Is it the law for all Dutch people wear suits or something? I don't even think I am Dutch; my parents are from Michigan. I'm gonna ask Santana about this tomorrow. Also I think she should wear a suit because she looked hot in our dentist fantasy of Me Against The Music.

Rachel says that when her dads got married they both wore suits, so I guess we can wear whatever we want.

We ran into Rach today at the grocery store. San didn't want to leave the bedroom (no change there) but we ran out of Dots and soda so I had to convince her to take me to the store. It wasn't hard; she's such a whipped little cutie. I like that I'm the only one who gets to see that San, my San. Nobody knows the Santana Lopez who'll drive around town at 3am in the morning to find a place selling Dots or milkshakes, but that's because she doesn't want anyone to know that that girl even exists. I think it must be tiring to pretend all the time so I try to keep her mind off it but sometimes I'll look at her and she'll be staring into space with her eyebrows frowning a little bit and I just know there's a zillion questions buzzing around in her head that she's trying to answer. I wish I could make them go away.

So, to convince her to get her sweet, lazy ass out of bed I did something I've been meaning to try out for a while. Actually, I've wanted to do it since I heard that Rihanna song about chains and whips being exciting. I didn't want to hurt San though so I used a couple of bras instead of chains; I bet they're really cold! I sat on top of her and she totally just let me tie her hands to the bed with them (whippppped). I got my flirt on so good. She was pretty much begging for it so I stopped and told her I wouldn't put out today unless she took me to the store. Within five minutes she was in the car. There was one thing though… she said I wasn't allowed to wear underwear.

I didn't mind; I barely ever wear it anyway.

I was just choosing which drinks to get and San was giggling and trying to put her hand up my skirt (she picked up a few sexy but totally naughty habits from Puck) when we saw Rachel and Finn coming down the aisle towards us. I felt Santana stiffen up behind me; I don't think the voodoo doll has helped her forgive Rach yet, and when she started talking I thought San might shout at them again so I quietly slipped my hand into hers.

She didn't pull away. She didn't even flinch, she just kept staring at Rach, but I felt her relax a little bit so I know it worked.

Turns out Rachel's dads are out of town for a couple of weeks so she's having another party tomorrow night for the glee kids. They were there buying beer using Finn's new fake ID that totally works because he's like half giant or something and they were buying lots of it because she wants to make sure we have an awesome time, even though she doesn't drink herself anymore ever since I threw up on her face that time and a little bit went in her mouth.

On the way back from the store Santana was kinda quiet. She didn't even try to cop a feel, which is totally not like her, but I stayed quiet and ate my Dots; I don't need to ask what's wrong, she'll tell me when she's ready. When we were about half way home she pulled over into a field. It's the field where we used to play as kids; all the kids play in it because the grass is super tall so you can hide real good. Turns out the tall grass comes in handy for teenagers too - it's an awesome hook-up spot. I took San last year; I wanted to be her first there. All the guys know about it but it's so pretty I wanted her to think of me whenever some guy took her there. I might not be good at math and stuff but I know that firsts are important - like when I told San to take Finn's virginity. It totally worked; I still catch him checking her out. Even today at the store I saw him look at her chest but super fast so Rach wouldn't notice. He's so funny. I have to stop myself from laughing sometimes, when I see San's statistics (that's what we call them; they're just numbers) checking her out, especially when they look proud; I always think, "you didn't even do the job properly, she had to call me to finish her off". It looks weird and kinda mean written down but I did the same when I was with Artie - he couldn't do a whole lot to please me.

We walked through the grass until we got to the edge that looks out over the whole of Lima, and we sat down. It was pretty dark so the stars were starting to appear, sort of like they were waking up. San was still being quiet so I lied down and just looked at the stars but I felt a bit overwhelmed by how huge the sky is, so I closed my eyes. I heard the grass rustle and then I felt her lie next to me so I kept my eyes closed and concentrated on breathing slowly. She stayed silent and I thought she might never speak but then I heard her lips part as she took a deep breath and she asked if I wanted to go to the party.

I had to think really fast about everything to try and understand why she asked that so to buy myself some time I licked my lips really slowly and sat up to look into Santana's eyes. I still hadn't figured it out so I just said, "Yes" but carefully.

She nodded and smiled a little bit when she realised I was confused. She leaned over, cupped my face in her hands and kissed me really softly, like she thought she might break me. Then she nuzzled her nose against mine before she rested her head on my collarbone and let all her weight lean into me. The smell of her hair drifted around and the smell of hot vanilla made me feel really sleepy so I held onto her head and lowered us back so we were lying down again. I kept one hand on her hair and reached my other out to intertwine our fingers together on my stomach. It was so lovely, I wished on all the stars that we could stay like that forever.

She started speaking again, really quietly so I had to close my eyes and concentrate on her words, to tell me that she really wanted to go to the party but she was scared of what she might say when she got drunk. Usually when we go to parties we're super careful to drink a little bit less than everyone else so that if we accidentally get our mack on nobody will remember or we can pass it off as drunkenly trying to get guys. At Rach's last party I drank the same as everyone else because San and I weren't talking that much and I was with Artie, but San didn't drink anything. She acted drunk instead. She's reeeeally good at it cos she gets a lot of practice and she's pretty talented but I could tell; she never cared that much about Trouty Mouth.

I told her that we could wait until everyone else got wasted before we drank too much; it's not going to take long with the kids from glee club and their cute dorky wine coolers. I could feel her smile against my shoulder so I knew she'd agree, and then she nestled a bit further into my neck like she wanted to melt into me.

We fell asleep like that.

I'm super excited for the party; I hope San joins in with Spin The Bottle this time and I can't wait to see everyone, except I know Artie's gonna be there (67 missed calls now) and I still haven't figured out how to explain why I can't be with him anymore. I hate it when I don't know what to do with people, it's one of the only things I feel like I'm good at most of the time.

I gotsta go get my wax on; being the girl who turns into a stripper drunk comes with a price.

Love from B.