Legends of the Eds
Disk 1: Zelda I
Chapter 1:
The Beginning of a Long, Long Quest
Eddy sat up slowly. "Ugh… where am I?" Eddy muttered as Ed and Double D got up. Ed took a quick look around. He noticed that there were three directions to go in, and a cave that entered the ground. He had been here before… But when?
Suddenly the surroundings made sense to him.
"Guys, we're in my Video Game!" He said as a goofy smile crept upon his face. "We get to be in a video game! We get to save Hyrule from dangerous monsters!" He pranced around.
The realization hit Double D. "Ed, we're going to have to save Hyrule!"
"I know, isn't it great?" Ed said as he rolled around in the dirt. Double D looked at him like he was a mad man. "WE'LL BE KILLED, ED! Don't you realize the danger we are in?" Double D said as he paced around frantically.
Eddy got up. "Well… not really." Eddy said. Double D just starred at him. "What?" Ed asked. "Remember Ed's game? We have to find that sword thing." Double D was baffled. Did Eddy really figure this situation out?
"Oh, OH! It's in that cave over there!" Ed yelled as he grabbed his friends and ran into the cave. They found themselves in a dark room. "Why is it so dang dark in here?" Eddy asked out-loud.
"Eh, you here ta buy summa this grub?" A gruff voice called. An old guy appeared out of the darkness. "Hey, yer that guy who gives away swords!" Eddy pointed out. "Give away? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He laughed hysterically, "I onleh give away swords ta heroes! Yeh know one?"
Ed stepped up to the old man. "My name is Link, wielder of the Triforce of Courage!" Ed lied. The old man spit out his tobacco. Ed continued, "Me and my friends quest is to stop Ganon and rescue Zelda! Now if you don't want this world to fall under the rule of the evil piggy king, you best give me that sword!"
The old man chuckled nervously. "Heh-heh… Sorry, Link, sir… It was just your outfits… are so… un-Hylian." Double D looked at their clothes. They were exactly the same as when they got sucked in. Double D walked up and stood next to Ed. "Well… we were…" He tried thinking of an explanation.
"We were kidnapped by the Gonan!" Eddy yelled. "Ganon." Ed corrected. "Kidnapped by the Ganon! He forced us to wear these tacky clothes and took away our normal clothes." Eddy explained.
The old guy thought for a second. "I have some hunter clothes over by the fire. There yours, um, heroes." Eddy smiled victoriously. Double D walked over to the clothes. He unfolded them and Eddy saw…
"They have SKIRTS?" He screamed. The old guy laughed nervously. "They're actually tunics, um, what's his name, Link?"
"Shortia." Ed said dumbly. "Shortia?" The old guy and Eddy asked simultaneously. "Because he's so short!" Ed laughed. "And that guy over there is Brainla, because he's so smart." Double D sighed and went to a dark corner of the cave to change into the tunic.
7 minutes of tunic changing later…
"Ya know, you get used to the tights." Eddy said he cowboy-walked across the room in his tunic. Ed danced around singing about how Ganon will meet his maker.
"Well, gentlemen, I think it's time we go defeat monsters." Double D said as he walked towards the exit. "Wait!" The old guy said as they headed out of the cave. "It's dangerous out there. Take these swords." He handed each Ed a wooden sword. "Thank you, sir." "Plesha doin' business with ya, heroes!" The old guy said as the exited the cave.
oOo
"He was nice." Ed said as they walked across Hyrule Field. All of a sudden, a rock nailed Ed in the head (Even though it didn't eve phase him). Double D looked around. He saw a giant octopus creature walking (?) towards them.
"Octorok!" Ed yelled as he charged at the beastie with his sword. "Ed, NO!" Double D and Eddy yelled. It was too late. Ed was in attack mode. He was feet away from it and…
SPLOOSH!
Blue Octorok goo everywhere. Double D was in the splash zone, and he got drenched. "YUCK!" He yelled as he tried shaking all of the goo off.
"Cool." Ed simply said. "Not cool, Ed! You got gunk all over me!" Eddy yelled.
oOo
They continued traveling gathering rupees and fighting off Tektites, Leevers, and Zolas as they went along. They eventually reached a beach.
"Guys, look!" Ed yelled, "That's the cave where you buy bombs." Ed ran into the cave, and two minutes later, he walked out carrying three bags of bombs. "One for you," He handed one to Double D, "One for you," He gave the next bag to Eddy, "And one for you!" He handed a bag to himself.
"Wow, Ed, how'd ya get all these bombs with only 16 rupees?" Eddy asked. "I asked the man nicely." He proclaimed as the salesman stumbled out of the cave with stars all around his head. "And when he didn't give them to me, I hit him in the head with a stick!" Ed watched the man pass-out. "I learned that trick from Sarah."
oOo
They spent hours traveling; gaining street smarts (Well, Ed and Eddy did) as they went beat up countless enemies, and they even found arrows! But after a couple hours…
"Yep, were lost." Eddy said as he hit a tree with his sword. Double D pulled out a map that he got from a merchant. "Actually, we're right where we need to be." He said as he jogged over to a big tree. He circled around the tree and saw a…
"Fellows, I found the entrance to a dungeon! Come quick!" Ed and Eddy ran over to their friend. Eddy saw a huge hole in the tree that had a staircase that lead to their first dungeon. Ed got a serious look on his face.
"Triforce of Courage, HERE I COME!" He exclaimed as he charged into the Eagle Labyrinth. The other two shared a look and followed their friend into the monsters' lair.
oOo
They found themselves in a room with 12 weird looking statues in it. The door to the north was locked, so they gathered in the center of the room. "K', Double D, me and you will go that way." Eddy said as he pointed to the west door, "And Ed will go that way." Eddy pointed to the east door. "Okie Dokie, Mr. Head-Honcho!" Ed said as he ran into the other room with his sword pulled out.
Double D pulled out his shield (Which he got during the 6 hour time-skip) and Eddy equipped his sword and went into the room.
Eddy entered first and got bombarded by three Keese. "Double D, I need help!" Double D ran in and sliced a Keese open. It dissolved into dust and fell onto the floor. 'Much better than the Octorok.' Double D thought. They killed the other two Keese and in the dust pile of the third one, a key appeared. Eddy picked up the key and put it in his rucksack (Time-skip) and headed back to the first room.
oOo
As Eddy and Double D went into the room with the Keese, Ed ran into the east room and was greeted by an unpleasant surprise. Five Stalfos were in the room. One looked at Ed and chattered its teeth. On cue, all the Stalfos charged at Ed with their swords. Ed came back down to Earth and charged at them with his sword. He sliced every one in two. Ed sighed with relief and picked up a key that one dropped. He then headed back into the first room.
oOo
The Eds met back up in the first room and unlocked the locked door with the Key that the Keese dropped. They entered the next room, killed a few Stalfos, and headed into an opened door.
In the next room Eddy killed five more Stalfos and headed right with Ed and Double D.
They entered another room with a whopping eight keys that the Eds all killed. Ed walked up to a small compass and used it to guide them into the next room, the one left to the room with a bunch of dead Stalfos.
They entered that room and killed all the Keese. They used the key that Ed got earlier in the room with the Stalfos on the door to their north and entered the next room.
There were three Gels that Ed easily killed with a few swipes of the sword. Ed pushed a block into the middle of the room, which opened the door to the left. Ed started to go in there, but Double D stopped him and decided to go to the right.
In the room to the right, they killed more Gels and found the dungeon map. They headed to the room to the north and killed some more enemies and eventually got a key. They used that key to open a door to the left of the room they were in.
In the room they entered, the pushed a block out of the way of a staircase. They went to the basement of the dungeon and got the Bow, so now they could use the arrows they found.
They backtracked to a room with a bunch of Goriyas in it. Ed and Eddy killed them all and obtained the boomerang. They entered the next room and got yet another key. They used it to open the door to the north.
They found themselves in a slightly darker room. "Hey Nacho King, can we please talk again?" Eddy yelled breaking the fourth-wall- Oh, yeah, you can talk again. "Sweet!" Eddy exclaimed. Double D looked around the room. "There is something ominous about this room… But what?"
His question was soon answered by a growling noise. A green horse-dragon-unicorn-bird-thing appeared out of the dark. Ed's eyes widened. "EVIL UNICORN! EVIL UNICORN! EVIL UNICORN! EVIL UNICORN!" He yelled as he ran around in circles.
"I am Aquamentus, boss of the Eagle Labyrinth. If you choose to fight me, I'll kill you. If you don't fight me… I'll kill you!" Aquamentus shot three fireballs at the Eds. Eddy dodged them and ran up to Aquamentus.
"I'll rip out your throat!" Aquamentus roared as it went in for the kill. Eddy tinkled in his pants a little, but brought himself back together and stabbed Aquamentus in its neck.
"NO! IMPOSSIPLE! I'LL HAVE REVENGE ON YOU SOME DAY!" It screamed one last time before melting into a liquid rainbow. Eddy breathed heavily before he stood up and walked back over to Double D and Ed, who was still screaming about evil unicorns. Eddy slapped him in the forehead. They all just stood there for a moment in silence.
Eddy broke the silence by saying, "Can we end this stupid chapter already?" Fine.
That was the longest chapter I have ever wrote… But just wait until the Twinmold chapter. So, how was it? Good, bad, or meh?" Review please! No flames!