Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Chapter Seven - 2009
January 10th
All little girls dream of their first kiss. They all want Prince Charming to be their first kiss like in all those princess movies. A girl wants her first kiss to be memorable and to give her butterflies by just remembering it.
Sam couldn't understand why there was so much pressure on a girl to have her first kiss. Or at least that is what was running through her mind whilst she was sat in the movie theatre with Carly watching 'The first Kiss'. She glanced over to Carly, who was in the seat beside many of the girls and women in the theatre Carly was blubbing. Sam rolled her eyes. Seriously? After finishing her exra large slushie and her exra large bucket of popcorn, Sam had no choice other than to watch the movie. And in her eyes yes, it was boring and tedious but she couldn't eny to herself that it did make her think.
As Carly and Sam left the movies, Sam was still thinking but Carly couldn't say she'd noticed her friends slight quietness, as she was to busy rambling on about how sweet yet totally cheesy the movie was.
When they arrived back to the Shay's apartement and walked in on Spencer 'training' to be a Seattle cobra Sam's thoughts were thrown from her mind. After helping a now 'injured' Spencer train, the pair hurried up the stairs the the iCarly studio.
Throwing herself onto the comfy, pink beanbag chair and closed her eyes. Today had been a long, long day... then again she had been handcuff to a Gibby for most of it! Ugh! She was going to get that nub. She was gonna get him bad...
"OPEN THE DOOR!" Sam yelled as she tried to shove open the door, though the chain was preventing her from getting in.
"Call the police!" She hear Freddie say urgently.
"OPEN THIS DOOR!"
"Leave me alone Sam. We're even," Freddie called back.
"Argh!" With as much strength as the petit girl could muster she ripped open the door. "Come here Benson," She spat as she entered the apartment, dragging a terrified Gibby along behind her.
Freddie backed away towards the kitchen, begining to regret his 'prank'.
"You handcuffed her to Gibby?" Carly said incredulously.
"She put a dead fish in my locker," He argued, stepping back again.
"Gibby's way worse than a dead fish!" The blonde girl screeched.
"My Mom think's I'm awesome!" Gibby said, as if he thought saying that would really make things any better.
"Gimme the key!"
"Give her the key."
"Only if she promis-" Freddie began but was cut off by a battle cry from Sam.
Freddie charged into the kitchen and Sam followed pulling with her a frightened Gibby. All heck broke lose. There were terrified screams from Gibby. Frightened cries from Freddie. A blood thursty roar from Sam. And a yell of panic with a hint of calming in her voice, from Carly.
After a moment of running and yelling, Sam pushed Freddie and bent him over the yellow breakfast table, twisting his arm behind him as she did so.
"Ow! My arm!" Freddie groaned.
Ignoring his moan of pain Sam said forcefully, "Where's the key?"
"In my front pants pocket left side," Freddie babbled.
"Get the key out of his pocket," Sam commanded Carly, as she applied more pressure to Freddie's arm.
"Uh... Okay," Carly stammered, leaning over to do so, Carly realised where she would have to put her hand... "Eww! No."
"Just let me up and I'll give you the key," Freddie said, his voice giving off a tired, pained tone.
"PLEASE!" Gibby yelled.
Sighing inwardly Sam relented and released the nub from her iron grasp. "Now unlock me."
Freddie pulled the small silver key from his pocket and unlocked the demon from the Gibby.
Screaming in terror of what Sam might do to him next Gibby bolted out of the building and away to the safety of his own home.
"Like Gibby's therapist didn't have enough to deal with!" Carly scolded the two.
Sam not bothered by the emotional damage she had enflicted upon Gibby that day ignored her friend and turned to Freddie, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him face to face with her.
"Come on. You put a dead fish in my locker, I handcuffed you to Gibby. We're even!" Freddie said arguing a case that in Sam's eyes he had already lost.
"Yay! Who wants lemonade?" Carly said attempting to distract Sam.
"I don't play to get even," Sam began threateningly. "Moma plays to win."
Releasing him roughly Sam turned and began exiting the room. "I'm gonna get you. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But I'm gonna get you..." And with that she left.
Sam found herself lost in a daydream of what she was going to do to her once best friend.
She was only awakened when she heard Carly speak, "Hey."
Looking up Sam was greeted by a pair of soft brown eyes belonging to none other than Freddie Benson.
"What's the baseball bat for?" Carly asked, though Sam had a feeling they all knew.
"Nothing... As long a s Sam keeps her distance," Freddie said facing Sam as he walked around the room to find himself a seat.
"Relax. I'm to tired to get you back tonight," Sam said shrugging.
"Good," Freddie said lowering himself into the red leather beanbad opposite the two girls. "So, how was 'The First Kiss'?"
"Worst movie ever," Carly told him.
Sam rolled her eyes. She knew Carly would lie. She knew it!
"I told you guys that movie was gonna be awful. I mean even the title, 'The First Kiss'."
"I know..." Carly smiled.
Sam frowned slightly. Why was it that everytime Carly liked something but the majority of other people hated it, she went along with them?
"So who was yours?" Sam asked, as she chewed a mouthful of buttery popcorn.
"Who was my what?"
"Your first kiss?"
"Sam..." Carly said giving her friend a wide eyed look.
"C'mon, we're all friends here," Sam said before retracting it. "Well, two friends and a co-worker." There was no way she was counting Freddie as her friend, especially not after he hadncuffed her to the shirtless one. The blonde watched Freddie roll his eyes and she could of grinned. Boy, how she loved insulting him. "So, who was your first kiss?"
"Okay," Carly sighed. "It was Ben Hoopsher."
And just as Carly has suspected, both Sam and Freddie began snickering.
"Nobody's last name is Hoopsher," Freddie stated chuckling.
"Yes it is," Carly argued, laughing now too. "He kissed me under a cumquat tree and his lips tasted of potato salad," She said dreamily.
"Was it good?" Sam asked.
Carly shrugged, "Just your average little kiss."
"No the potato salad," Sam replied as if it had been blatently obvious the first time.
"Oh, yeah really good."
"Nice. My first kiss was with Buddy Hinton at a CuddleFish concert. In a port-a-potty," Sam lied. She couldn't be sure why she lied, it just sorta came out. To be honest she didn't want Carly or Freddie knowing she had never been kissed. Carly would act all sweet about it but in Sam's mind it was just another thing Carly had which Sam didn't. Then Freddie would hold it over her and then brag about how he had kissed that skunkbag Valerie. Ugh! Even the thought of it made her want to go on a storming rampage.
"Mmm, so romantic," Freddie said sarcastically as he sipped his bottled water.
"Whatever," Sam grunted, rolling her eyes. Just cause he and Valerie... NO! Don't think about it, she told herself. Brushing the thoughts of kisses away Sam changed the subject, "All I know is, now I can't stop thinking about potato salad." She pulled herself up from the beanbag chair and turned to Carly, "Does that little market across the street stay open late?"
"Yeah, till ten," Carly nodded popping another piece of popcorn into her mouth.
"Does that skeevy guy still hang around out front?" Sam asked, inwardly shuddering.
"Yeah."
At this, Sam grabbed Freddie's baseball bat and began to leave. Saying, "I'll be back," over her shoulder as she went.
Half way down the stair Sam tapped her pockets and realised she was out of money. I bet the nub has some... Turning on her heel she hurried back upstairs only to stumble upon a very interesting conversation...
"Well, I think it's kinda sweet that you haven't kissed anyone yet," She heard Carly say.
Huh, Benson hasn't kissed anyone either...
"No it's not sweet, it's lame. And you gotta swear to me you won't tell anyone, especially Sam," Freddie said, causing a mischievous smirk to appear on Sam's lips.
"There's nothing to be embaras-"
"Carly, I mean it. Promise me?"
"I promise."
And with a large smirk and a newly formed plan in mind Sam headed back down stairs.
January 15th
This was it. This was going to be her revenge...
"Wait, just one more little thing," Sam interupted before Carly could finish the show.
"What?"
"You guys all know our technical producer Freddie. Show yourself to the people Freddie."
"Hello..."
"That was Freddie, who last week handcuffed me to a nerd. So now guess what? Freddie's never kissed a girl. Never. Not once. I heard him say so myself and Carly's a witness."
Sam watched as Freddie's jaw dropped. The weird part was she wasn't getting as big a kick out of this as she thought she would. Ah well, she was probably hungry, right?
"Okay, later," Sam said, with an essence of victory.
Sam hear Carly calling after her but she wasn't listening, she was going to head over to the Groovy Smoothie and get some food to fix this sudden hunger that had just crept upon her.
January 22nd
"Hey, sorry I'm late," Sam said as she entered the iCarly studio closing the door softly behind her.
"You're always late," Carly said quietly, as she put meatballs in a bowl.
"So? It's cool, the show doesn't start for... three more minutes. Where's Freddweird?"
"Freddie's not coming," Carly said, her voice harsh and louder now.
"What? Okay, he stayed home from school all week, he missed two iCarly rehearsals and now he's gonna miss the show?" Sam said, a feeling of hunger crashed over her as she spoke. Grabbing a meatball she took a large bite before continuing, "So unprofessional."
"You really hurt him. Everytime he leaves the house he gets teased cause you told the whole world he's never kissed anyone. You know he won't even talk to his Mom?" He wouldn't talk to his Mom? But he tells his Mom everything... "He just sits on the fire escape alone cause he's to embarassed to see anyone. You like ruined his whole life and ya don't even care," Carly said scowling, as she stormed across the room and pressed a few keys on the laptop.
"Alright, I'll go apologize," Sam relented. Why was she so damn hungry?
"It doesn't even matter if you apologize, kids are still gonna give him a hard time cause you can't take back what you said."
"Look, I didn't mean-"
"You went to far this time... and ya can't fix it," Carly said shaking her head.
Carly's cell bleeped notifying them of the impending webcast.
"We gotta start the show," Carly told her sighing.
"Well, how can I do the show now that you made me feel all depressed?" This wasn't entirely true, Sam had been feeling relatively bad all week due to the way Freddie had reacted to her revenge.
"I don't know, just get in front of the camera and do it," Carly sneered. "In 5, 4, 3, 2..."
"I'm Sam," The blonde said waving to the camera.
"And I'm Carly," Carly's tone becoming perkier and bubblier as she spoke.
"And this is iCarly."
"The only webshow, that contains no trans fats."
"And keeps kitty's box smelling fresh all day."
"And now what you've all been waiting for..."
"Carly and I are about to have our very first..."
"MEATBALL WAR!" The girls said simultaneously.
"We have our slingshots."
"And a hundred meatballs."
"But, um... Before we start our meatball war, I wanna say something. On the last iCarly I told you guys that Freddie never kissed anyone, and that was really personal and I shouldn't have said it on the show," Sam sighed. For a moment she looked like a vunerable little girl until, she stepped towards the camera and her stance became threatening. "And for all you people out there who've been teasing Freddie about it, lay off. Cause I bet a whole lot of you haven't kissed anyone yet either," Sam barked. Yet once again her tone became softer and she sighed, her eyes bright blue eyes become sad, "Including me. Yeah that's right. I haven't kissed anyone. So, if you wanna tease someone about it, tease me." But once again the small blonde became threatening, "Which is a bad idea unless you live near a hospital!"
As Sam stepped back Carly continued, "Uh Um... Our meatball war will be happening soon but for now please enjoy this photo of a man with shrimp up his nose," Carly blurted as she dashed towards the laptop and clicked a button or two.
"Why'd you stop the show?" Sam said frowning, though on the inside she was feeling so much better since she didn't feel quite so hungry anymore.
"That was amazing. What you just did."
"Meh."
"You lied so people would stop teasing Freddie," Carly smiled in admiration.
Sighing, Sam said, "I didn't lie." The blonde shrugged as if it wasn't that big a deal, though she knew that it was.
"Wait, you've seriously never kissed anyone?" Carly said, sounding genuinely surprised.
"You shocked?"
"Well, yeah. But just cause you always seemed so... willing."
"I'm gonna go talk to Freddie," Sam told her, walking towards the red door. The petit blonde glanced back and looked at the clear bowl of 100 meatballs. She dived forward and grabbed them, "I'm taking these meatballs."
**..**..**
Sam could feel the cold breeze coming in from the open window as she walked down the hallway. Placing the empty meatball bowl on the ground she stepped closer to the breeze and could hear the Seattle nightlife, traffic and music.
Did i tell you I knew you name? But it seem that I lost it.
Sam looked out and saw Freddie sat in a deck chair, his feet resting on the railing and staring out into the city. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath Sam knocked gently on the window, as if waiting to be invited onto the fire escape. Freddie turned to see who it was, he was greated by Sam's piercing blue eyes. He smiled awkwardly, and Sam debated whether or not to eat the meatball she still clitched in her hand. Before she had chance to finish the argument with herself Freddie gestured for her to join him, so she pulled back the window and sat down on the ledge.
"What's up?" Sam asked, though she knew exactly what was up.
"Nothing," Freddie said before getting up and adjusting the volume on his pear-pod.
Feeling awkward, Sam opened her hand, offering Freddie the food within it, "Meatball?"
Freddie's eyebrows creased in confusion, "Nooooo, thanks?"
Shrugging Sam threw the ball of meat out over the fire escape and unfortuantely (for the bird) hit a passing seagul.
Shoving his hands in his pockets Freddie turned to the girl and said, "That was really brave. What you said."
"You heard?"
Freddie turned and picked up his laptop, smirking broadly, "You didn't think I'd miss iCarly?"
Sam smiled amused, "I'm sorry. 'Bout telling people you never kissed anyone." Sam knew she was doing the right thing but she instantly regretted it upon seeing Freddie's smirk disappear and his face lowering as he looked at the ground. Feeling worse again she decided she would add other things to make him feel better. "And about putting blue cheese dressing in your shampoo bottle." Freddie's smirk was reappearing so Sam continued. "And about sending your cell phone to Cambodia." The smirk was now a slight grin. "Everything. Okay?"
"So this means your not going to mess with me anymore?"
Sam could have laughed, but this was serious, "No, I'm still gonna mess with you. I'm just gonna apologize every few years so I can start fresh again."
"Good."
"Good?"
"Yeah. It'd be to weird if you didn't make my life miserable all the time," He said smiling. Really? Were they that far from where they used to be? Could he not remember with such vivid memories of when they were best friends? Did he not remember them? "But maybe you could pull back just a little bit?" Fredide offered.
Hurt that he didn't remember Sam quickly said, "I don't think so."
"Yeah, I didn't either."
Sam sighed in an amused fashion, "It's so dumb."
Confused now, Freddie asked, "What do you mean?"
"You know, how people get all freaked out over their first kiss."
Freddie look back again at the ground as if ashamed, so Sam continued, "It's stupid."
"So you weren't lying? You've really never kissed anyone?"
"Nope." Why was this so surprising for her friends? "Sometimes I just wish... I could get it outta the way."
"Yeah, I know me too."
"Right? You know, just so I can stop worrying about it."
"Yeah..." Freddie let out a chuckle, which confused the girl before him. Weren't they talking about something serious?
"What?"
"Nothing. Its..."
"Tell me."
"Nah, it's dumb."
"Say it!"
Okay... I was just gonna say-"
Sam didn't know why she did it but she did, she interuptted the poor nub with exactly what she had been thinking. "That we should kiss?"
Freddie leant back and swallowed, "You're gonna break my arm now right?"
"No," She told him shaking her head.
"Well, should we?" Freddie shrugged. "Just so both of us can get it over with?"
Sam couldn't explain it but her heart was pounding in her chest. It was like it was punching her rib cage. "Hmm... Just to get it over with." She said as she moved towards Freddie.
"Just to get it over with," Freddie said confirming her.
"And you swear we both go right back to hating each other as soon as it's over?" Why was her heart beating so hard? Coould Freddie hear it?
"Totally. And we never tell ayone."
"Never."
The two stared at each other awkwardly for a moment. His brown eyes staring deep into her blue ones.
"Well, lean," Sam commanded.
Freddie sighed and started coming near her. Sam was sure something screwy was ging on with her heart. Maybe she was having a heart attack? She should proably stop Freddie now and head to the hospital... And then his soft, warm lip met her own meatball flavoured ones. Sam wasn't sure how to feel. She didn't exactly know what she was feeling. The first thing she noticed was that for the first time in months she did not feel at all hungry. She had no urge to go and spend every dime she had on food. She also began to think about the movie, 'The First Kiss' and how much that had made her think in the last week or so. Thing is, she tried to feel exactly what the movie had said she would feel. Fireworks. Sparks. And tingling sensation that would travel from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Anything. But no. What sam Puckett felt right there and then was, right. She felt belonging. It was like she was a puzzle piece that had just been slotted into place beside another puzzle piece. Sam closed her eys begining to get into it, but a second after she had done so, Freddie had pulled away.
His eyebrow quirked and he looked in thought. Impressed almost. Sam got up slowly, she felt robotic. "Well, that was, um..."
"Nice?" Sam offered. Even her voice was like that of a robots!
"Yeah. Nice, uh..."
"Good work."
"Thank you. You too."
She turned slowly and awkwardly back to the window and began to climb back into the warm building.
"Hey," Freddie said stopping her from getting away from what may or may not have been a trainwreck. "I hate you." Although when you hear those words they are spoken with such venom and such spite that you know the feelingtruly is that of hatred, but when Freddie Benson said them it was different. He grinned at Sam, his mood happy and his voice gentle.
Smiling now too, Sam replied, "Hate you too." And walked back down the hallway toward Carly's apartment, completely oblivous to Freddie watching her as she left.
Yes. All little girls dream of their first kiss. They all want Prince Charming to be their first kiss like in all those princess movies. A girl wants her first kiss to be memorable and to give her butterflies by just remembering it. But Sam Puckett was not like other girls. No. Her first kiss was unconventional as it was not with Prince Charming it was with her Best Frenemy on a fire escape.
But, if you look carefully in what appears to be a toad my just be your Prince Charming after all, and that was a lesson Sam Puckett would learn in the years to come.