Bella sat on the sofa and turned on the TV, flipping through the same channels she had surfed a few moments before, but she didn't really see the programs. Her mind was completely occupied with her conversation with Edward a few nights earlier - the last real conversation they had exchanged in 5 days.
"It's...it's from the Stratford foundation. They had a spot open up. If I'm still interested...they're offering me a fellowship." Bella was so elated she thought she might float up off the sofa like a balloon...until she looked up at him and felt her heart plunge into her feet at the look on his face. Suddenly she remembered the events of the weekend, the events that had momentarily been driven from her mind by the letter in her hand. She glanced down at the ring that had been on her finger less than 24 hours, and was suddenly filled with conflicting emotions. She looked back up at him, hoping desperately that he would be able to offer some answers to all the questions that had stampeded into her mind in those few short seconds.
"Edward?"
He looked back down at her, but he did not speak. He looked as if he had been hit in the head. She did the only thing she could think to do - she reached out to him, like she had in a thousand other times of distress.
"Edward?" When he didn't respond, she stood and grabbed his hands. The look in his eyes frightened her "Edward, are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm just...that's...that's great, Bella." Bella was shocked at his voice. She could never remember hearing him sound so...forced, and fake. She scrambled to try to reassure him.
"I guess. I mean...it's an honor just to be asked..."
"That's what you wanted, right?" Bella's panic increased. Of course it was what she wanted, but Edward...Edward wouldn't even look at her! She struggled for what to say, her mind warring between telling the truth and saying the words she knew he wanted to hear.
"Yes...it's a really fantastic program..." She felt as soon as the words had escaped her that they had been the wrong choice.
"Well then, um...if it's what you want..."
Bella lowered her head and drew her bottom lip between her teeth. She sniffed.
"Hey, don't cry." Edward sat down on the sofa and pulled her into his lap. He held her in silence for a long time before he spoke, his voice strained. "You should be...happy."
"Should I?" Her voice quavered. She wasn't so sure.
"We'll figure it out." He pulled her close to him and kissed her eyelids. "When do you have to tell them your decision?"
Bella leaned over to retrieve the letter she had dropped onto the coffee table, and scanned the information on the page. "Next Monday. They need to know a week from tomorrow."
"So you have plenty of time to decide. Take the whole week and think. We won't talk about it, ok? I won't even ask, I promise."
She nodded slowly. "One week."
Bella huffed in frustration and pressed the button to turn off the television. She stood up and resumed her pacing of the room. She was amazed the carpet was still intact after the past week. She forced the previous Sunday's conversation out of her head, but it was immediately filled with the other voices that had been plaguing her. She had honestly begun to wonder if she was going crazy.
Am I going or not?
Stop thinking about it.
I have to think about it. I only have 48 hours left.
I can't leave him.
I can't pass this up. It's London! Nine months of Shakespeare!
Nine months without him. I can barely get through the day when he's at work.
Bella shook her head in an attempt to silence the arguing voices within it. She looked down at her ring, the one felt all at once like her prison and the key to her happiness.
He'll wait for you.
Why would he?
I can't ask him to. It's not fair.
It's your dream. You can't give up your dream for some guy.
Edward is more than just some guy.
She sat down again on the sofa and opened her laptop, hoping that maybe working would take her mind off the decision looming before her and the memories that would not leave her alone. She found herself gazing at a blinking cursor on the same blank document she had been staring at all week.
This isn't going to work. I need to talk to someone.
I need to talk to Edward.
Unfortunately, that was the one person she couldn't talk to. Edward had made that pretty clear. We won't talk about it, ok? His words echoed though her mind for the millionth time. They had been loudest in the wee hours of the morning, as she lay awake in her bed, keenly aware that he was asleep a few yards away, as she fought the desperate urge to go climb into bed with him and lie in his arms while she poured out all the thoughts and emotions that filled her mind and robbed her of her much-needed rest. She couldn't even go watch late night TV like she usually did when she couldn't sleep, because he would find her; he always did. So she had remained where she was, the memory of those words holding her in place as effectively as a straightjacket.
We won't talk about it, ok? Bella fiercely wiped away the tears that had sprung to her eyes at the sound of a key in the front door. She quickly forced a grin onto her face, but it softened into a real smile as Edward appeared before her and she felt happiness at the sight of him infuse through her.
How can anyone possibly be so beautiful? she thought. But as she looked at him, her happiness faded again at the tension and fatigue she saw in his posture and the expression on his face.
She rose from her position on the sofa and slid her arms around him. She kissed his stubbly cheek and hugged him close, attempting to soothe the stress she could sense emanating from him.
"Hard day?" she asked, pulling back and examining his face. She traced her fingertips over an eyebrow and down his cheek. "You look tired."
"I suppose." Edward turned away from her, pulling out of her embrace to carry his bag back towards his room. Bella looked after him in silence for a moment, then spoke, trying again to break the tension between them.
"Um...Alice called. She and Jasper want to have dinner...what do you think?"
Edward turned to face her and sighed heavily. "Bella, I'm really tired. Can we please just stay home?"
"Alright. I'll call them." Bella headed towards her room to get her phone, a little disappointed. She had been home all day with nothing but her whirling thoughts to keep her company. She picked up her phone and sent a quick text message to Alice.
No go on dinner tonight. E wants to stay home.
Within seconds her phone chirped. Alice must have been waiting for her message.
Boo. Can't you convince grumpy bear to have some fun?
Before Bella could reply, she heard Edward calling from the living room. She stuck her head out of her door.
"What was that?"
Edward was seated with his back towards her. He did not turn as he spoke. "On second thought, dinner would be good. I could stand to get out for a while. Where do they want to go?"
"I'll find out." Bella tapped in another message to Alice.
He just changed his mind. Where are we going?
Ask Multiple Personality Ken if Luca's pizza is alright with him. Bella giggled.
"Luca's pizza work for you?"
"Sure. What's so funny?"
"Nothing." Bella suppressed another laugh. "I'll let her know."
After exchanging a few more messages with Alice to iron out details for the evening, Bella returned to the living room and sat down next to Edward. After a moment's hesitation, she leaned into him, and to her tremendous relief he draped his arm around her and pulled her into his side. She leaned her head onto his chest and inhaled the familiar fragrance of his laundry detergent. She was loathe to disturb this moment of peace, but the question had to be asked.
"Um, Edward...can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
Don't get mad, ok?"
Edward tensed but did not pull away. "What's up, Bella?"
"Do you mind if we...that is, is it ok if...canwenottellAliceandJasperwe'reengaged?"
At these words, Edward withdrew his arm, prompting Bella to sit up to face him. She looked at him, then down at her hands, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.
"What?" Edward's voice wasn't angry, exactly, but he was obviously not happy at her question. Bella scrambled to explain.
"You know how Alice is...if we tell her, she'll have a million questions and she'll want to talk about dresses and flowers and receptions all night...and I don't...I mean, I can't...we don't know any of that stuff yet. Plus..." again she found herself unable to look at his face, so she examined the upholstery on the sofa "...I have enough on my mind already."
Edward was silent for a long moment, and Bella continued to peruse the pattern of the fabric beside her, afraid of what she might see in his face. Finally he let out a sigh, and she found the courage to look up at him.
"I guess that's probably for the best."
Bella leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips, lingering until she felt him respond. "Thank you for understanding. I'll just go put this in my room and change clothes, and we can get going, ok?" At Edward's nod, Bella stood. She had barely stepped away when she felt his hand on her arm.
"Bella, wait." He pulled her back down next to him, and reached around her neck to unfasten the thin chain she wore. Silently he took her hand and removed the ring he had placed there only a few days earlier, then threaded the chain through it. Again he reached around her to re-fasten the chain, then tucked the necklace and ring beneath her shirt. He rested his hand on her collarbone, above where the ring lay, for a moment.
"OK?" His voice was barely a whisper.
Bella leaned her forehead against his and nodded. "OK." She breathed him in for a moment, then stood and retreated to her room to change clothes and attempt to rein in her feelings for the thousandth time that week.
****r~d****
Edward watched Bella walk towards her room to change to go out. Once the door had closed behind her, he reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to quell the headache he could feel rising, the same headache he had been fighting all week, brought on by stress and confusion and unshed tears. It had only been five days, but it felt like five hundred years. Waiting for Bella's decision and wrestling with his own tangled emotions had been bad enough, and now he had to somehow deal with this new bombshell. Bella's logic made sense, but that didn't stop Edward from feeling sick at the thought.
Once upon a time, things had seemed so straightforward; now, he could not seem to make any sense of what was happening. He wanted to be with Bella all the time, but could barely stand to be in a room with her. He had found reasons to avoid her all week, making plans with friends he hadn't seen in months, or working late on projects that weren't nearly as urgent as he told himself they were, only to realize later that he had done such a poor job that the work would have to be redone.
Most nights he had arrived home late to find her in asleep on the sofa. He would examine her face in the flickering light of the television and battle the urge to lift her in his arms and carry her to his bed; instead he would wake her and guide her, stumbling in her half-asleep state, toward her room. Frustrating as it was to lie next to her without making love, he had been absolutely certain that once she had agreed to be his wife that he would never want to sleep without her again. But soon after her revelation on Sunday night she had retreated to her room, and they had spent every night since apart. Edward was sure that if he slept with her in his arms he would lose his resolve in a moment of vulnerability and beg her to stay with him. He had barely touched her in the past five days. Every time they were close, he would feel the urge to beg her to stay growing, and he would pull away. He missed her desperately.
He wondered if, besides dozing on the sofa, she had been sleeping at all. She had always had trouble sleeping when she was under stress. Ever since they had moved in together, he had regularly found her in the living room pacing or watching infomercials in the middle of the night. When he found her in this state he would join her on the sofa and play with her hair or rub her back until she relaxed enough to go back to bed. Sometimes she talked about what was bothering her; sometimes she chose to remain silent. The ritual hadn't changed once they started dating; the primary difference was that now Bella often wound up in his bed rather than her own.
All week he had lain awake, listening for some sound of her in the living room, wondering what he would do if he heard her, but the sound never came, and each day she looked more exhausted than the one before. That morning she had looked so sad, dark circles marring the delicate skin beneath her eyes. All he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and tell her that if she would just agreed to stay with him, everything would be alright, but instead he had poured her another cup of coffee, given her a cursory kiss on the forehead, and bolted out of the apartment without even eating his breakfast.
He wasn't really in the mood to go out - he wasn't really in the mood to do much of anything but brood, actually - but the thought of staying in the apartment all evening, trapped in the haze of tension between them, was unthinkable. He stood and retrieved his keys from their hook next to the door when he heard her emerge from her room, and he silently opened the door for her. He automatically reached to lay his hand on her back, the way he had a thousand times, but hesitated at the last minute, and instead let his hand drop to his side as they walked out the door.
The silence in the car was so thick that Edward was surprised it did not condense on the windows. He couldn't think of anything to say - every sentence that occurred to him somehow turned into some form of "What have you decided?" or some desperate variation of "please don't leave me" He couldn't do that to her though. He was fairly sure he had never regretted any promise more than the one to not ask to her about her decision whether or not to go to London.
****r~d****
"So... what are you going to do today?"
Bella turned from the sink where she was washing dishes, surprised to see him up so early. Predictably, she had not been able to sleep. "You know...normal stuff...we need some groceries, and have to do laundry..." Bella trailed off.
"Groceries? I can do that. Is everything on the list?"
"I think so." Bella was a little puzzled at Edward's eagerness. He normally wasn't quite so enthusiastic about shopping, unless it was with her. In fact, with very few exceptions, every trip to the grocery store since they had become a couple had been together. He delighted in tossing things in the cart she didn't like, just to torment her.
"Great. I'll just...I'll be back in a little while, ok?" He crossed the room to Bella and dropped a kiss on her forehead, then was out the door before Bella could speak.
"Wait, you forgot...the list." She spoke to the empty room.
What was that all about? He sure couldn't wait to get away from me. She shook her head and quickly swiped her hand across her eyes before heading towards her room to begin collecting her dirty clothes.
The previous evening had been an unmitigated disaster. He barely spoke to her or looked at her during dinner, and when they had been in the movie Alice suggested, he had not touched her at all. Alice seemed to notice something was wrong, but Bella had assiduously avoided being alone with her all evening, afraid that if Alice asked what was going on, she would pour out every thought and emotion she was experiencing in one long bout of verbal diarrhea, and Bella would not allow herself to do that. By the end of the night, everything had been so strained that Alice had looked genuinely worried, Jasper had appeared very confused, Edward looked furious, and Bella wondered if she might start screaming her head off. She had practically sprinted to her room when she had Edward arrived home, and had spent most of the night staring at the wall while tears poured silently and uncontrollably down her face.
They emerged again as she picked up the clothed scattered through her room, and she didn't even attempt to stem their flow, knowing it would be a useless attempt. She had abandoned all efforts to control her emotions – better to let them out now, or she would most certainly lose control later when Edward got home.
He's your fiancé - maybe it's ok to lose control in front of him. She cried harder at the thought that sprang into her mind. She shook her head fiercely. He'll want to know what's wrong, and he made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want to talk about this.
She jumped in surprise when she heard a knock on the front door. She wondered if Edward had forgotten his keys. That would be very unlike him, but everything had been so off lately, it wouldn't surprise her. She made a feeble attempt to wipe the moisture from her face, and wearily crossed the apartment to open the door. It wasn't Edward. At the sight of her friend, Bella began to sob and collapsed into Alice's embrace.
****r~d*****
Edward found himself in the grocery store a few blocks from his apartment, but he could not quite remember how he had gotten there. He had been wandering the aisles aimlessly for nearly half an hour, when he was startled by a booming voice behind him.
"Edward! How are ya, buttmunch?"
Edward's knees nearly collapsed under the weight of the slap on the shoulder that accompanied these words. He turned to find Emmett grinning down at him. He forced a smile.
"Buttmunch? I think you're losing your touch."
Emmett shrugged. "What can I say? Rose went to visit her parents for a week. It throws me off."
At these words, Edward's face fell back into its expression of worry. Emmett noticed the change, and then looked down at Edward's empty cart. Concern was evident on his face.
"Seriously, you ok man? You don't look so good."
"I'm fine."
"Hm." Emmett reached into his own cart and lifted out a bag of chips. He pulled the bag open and grabbed a handful, then tilted the bag towards Edward, who shook his head. Emmett continued thrusting the bag him, pushing it in his face, until Edward finally rolled his eyes and took a few chips. Emmett nodded and leaned against the nearby rack of shelves.
"Now that we're comfortable, tell Uncle Emmett all about it."
Edward sighed. "Can you keep all this to yourself?"
"Dude, Rose is out of town. Who am I gonna tell?"
"Well, Alice is your sister."
"Point taken. Yeah, everything's between us."
"Alright." Edward sighed again. "I guess I could use some outside perspective."
He took a deep breath. "Last weekend Bella and I got engaged."
"And you're depressed 'cuz she's not as hot as Rose?" Emmett wagged his eyebrows at Edward, who shot him a rueful smile. Emmett grinned. "Ok, serious now. Isn't that supposed to make you happy?"
"It did. Right until we got home and she found out she got offered a fellowship. In London."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"So, you told her to go, right?"
"I didn't tell her to stay."
"But did you tell her to go?"
"I didn't even ask her to stay."
"Edward. Answer the question. Did. you. tell. her. to. go?"
"No."
"Dude."
"What?" Edward refused to look at Emmett, instead focusing on the uneaten chips in his hand.
"She has to go. You have to tell her to go."
Even though a part of him had been thinking the same thing all week, Edward rebelled against Emmett's words.
"Why? Why the hell should I tell her to go? I want her to stay here with me. She said she'd marry me. Doesn't that mean anything?"
"Hey, don't yell at me, I'm not the bad guy here. I'm just telling you, you've got to do what's right for your girl."
Edward took a deep breath and lowered his voice, noticing the other patrons who were looking his way, their attention garnered by his angry words.
"Who says that's what's best? I asked her to marry me, she said yes. I just want to marry the girl I love, is that so bad?"
"Nope. It's not bad at all. But it's not that simple."
Edward slumped against the shelf behind him. "Why not? It's supposed to be simple. You meet someone, you fall in love, you get married, you live happily ever after. Whatever happened to that plan?"
Emmett laughed. "What are you, a nine year old girl? Put down the Disney movies and listen. It's not always that easy. In fact, it's usually not that easy. Do you love her?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure! " Edward's voice rose again.
"Then you have to do what's best for her, even if it sucks like hell for you. Anything else is just selfish, and that's not love, that's high school infatuation shit. You wanna be a good husband, you have to give it up."
"But what about what's best for me?"
Emmett laughed. "In a perfect world, Bella would be in charge of that. And maybe she will, maybe she won't. I think she might surprise you. And who knows, maybe her going will be the best thing for both of you. But either way, you can't control what she does. If you love her, you have to think about her. Think about it this way. Say Bella turns this thing down to stay here with you. How are you gonna feel in ten years, knowing that she gave up her dreams just because you couldn't handle being separated for a few months? You get married, things change. She may never have a chance like this again."
"But what if she decides to stay here anyway?" Edward knew he sounded like a petulant child, but he couldn't stop himself.
"Then that's her decision. Her responsibility. But do you really want to take the chance that she'll resent you for the rest of her life because you didn't do all you could to make it easy for her to go?"
Edward pulled himself up from where he was leaning against the shelf. He sighed heavily. "You're right. I know you're right. But what am I gonna do without her?"
"That, I can't tell you. But I'm sure you'll figure it out. And Rose and me, we'll be here for you. So will Alice and Jasper. You'll be alright."
Edward cocked an eyebrow at his friend. "When did you turn into Oprah?"
Emmett visibly puffed with pride. "Pre-marital counseling, dude. Turns out, I'm so good at this touchy-feely crap, I shoulda been a chick. Of course, then Rosie would've wound up with some other guy, and we can't let that happen. Now, go be with your girl. You might want to buy something first though, otherwise she's gonna wonder what the heck you were doing here for so long."
Edward laughed. "Probably."
"Oh, and you should probably apologize to her too."
"For what?"
Emmett raised his eyebrows. "Have you, or have you not, been pouting like a teenage girl who didn't get asked to the prom?"
Edward looked at Emmett in amazement. "How'd you know?"
Emmett chuckled. "I've met you, dude."
Edward scowled at him, but soon began to laugh. "Are you sure you aren't a girl?" he asked, then ducked to avoid Emmett's punch.
When he arrived home half an hour later, carrying bags he hoped Bella didn't examine too closely, since their contents in no way resembled the items on the list they had made. He opened the door, hoping she would be willing to talk, but instead, he was met with the cold, deafening silence of an empty apartment.
****r~d****
Within fifteen minutes of knocking on the door, Alice had efficiently bundled Bella into a coat and had her out of the apartment and into her car. Bella thought she had calmed down by the time they arrived at Alice's, but as soon as she sat down and turned to see the concerned look on her friend's face, the tears spilled over again. Bella knew that Alice had to be dying to know what was going on, but fortunately she did not pester Bella to talk - in fact, she did not ask any questions at all. Instead, she sat on the sofa and held her, stroking her hair and occasionally kissing her forehead or handing her fresh tissues.
Jasper returned home to find the two of them in that position. Bella was still intermittently weeping, although by that point she had calmed down enough to greet him with a shaky smile. He sat down on the other side of her, sandwiching her between him and Alice, and wrapped her in his arms.
"Wanna talk about it?" he asked gently, placing a kiss on her head.
"I...I don't think...I can." Bella gulped back another sob as she spoke.
"Do I need to hurt someone?" Jasper asked, his voice solemn, but his eyes twinkling. "I can break some fingers, if you want."
Bella chuckled, sounding a little hysterical, and shook her head against his shoulder.
"How about...I know. C'mere, sweetheart." He signaled to Alice, who stood and handed him a pillow from her end of the sofa. He placed it in his lap, and gently tugged Bella down until her head rested on it.
"I love you, baby sister," he said, looking down at her and stroking her hair.
"I love you too, big brother", she replied. He reached down and wiped away the stray tears that were running down her cheeks, and she closed her eyes. Within moments she was fast asleep.
Alice leaned over them. She started to kiss Jasper's cheek, but stopped short and bent over Bella. Very gently, she tugged at the chain around her neck, extracting the ring hidden beneath her shirt. She looked at Jasper, her eyes wide. He shook his head, just as mystified as his wife.
****r~d****
By that evening, Edward was nearly frantic. It wasn't like Bella to leave without saying anything, and he knew how exhausted she had been. His head spun with visions of her alone somewhere hurt, kidnapped, or...he couldn't even bring himself to think it. Finally he sent messages to everyone he could think of who might have seen her or heard from her. He hoped that the message didn't sound quite as desperate as he felt, but he couldn't seem to be too concerned about it, as long as he could find out where she was.
Edward was relieved when he heard his phone chime. He hit the button to read his new text message, and saw it was from Alice.
She's here.
Edward's heart leapt at the news, but Alice's curt message worried him. He quickly replied with more questions.
Has she been there all day? Is she alright? What's going on?
It felt like an eternity before Alice replied. He watched the seconds ticking by, wondering if he was reading too much into the delay. He nearly dropped the phone when it chimed again.
Yes. I don't know. You tell me.
Edward took a deep breath, but before he could reply his phone chimed again, indicating another incoming message.
Jasper wants to know who he has to kill, you or Charlie. He hopes it's Charlie, even though he has a gun.
Is she coming home anytime soon? Edward replied, ignoring, for the moment, Alice's questions.
I don't think so. I think she is going to stay here tonight.
Shit, thought Edward. I've really screwed this up. He leaned his forehead against the nearby wall. After a few minutes, he stood up, with renewed energy, and strode toward the front door, picking up his keys as he went.
****r~d****
"Bella?" Alice's voice was quiet through the door of the room where Bella lay on the bed, absently picking at a loose thread on the quilt. She did not answer, wanting to be left alone. She was thankful for Alice and Jasper's kindness that day, but she was worn out. She heard the door open, and the bed shifted as someone sat down on it. Before she could turn to speak, and she felt a familiar arm slide around her waist and a warm body snuggle close behind hers .
"Baby?" Edward's voice was like the softest velvet in her ear. "I'm so sorry. I'm an ass."
If someone had asked Bella five minutes before if she thought she could cry any more that day, she would have said it was impossible. But at Edward's voice, and his gentle touch, the sobs that she believed had been exhausted began again. She attempted to pull away from him, but he held her firmly, and after a few minutes she gave in to his offered comfort and turned in his arms to bury her face against his chest. They lay together until the tears slowed and her breathing returned to normal. She drank in his presence; the smell of the skin on his neck, the sound of his heartbeat, and the strength of his arms cocooned around her. Too soon he pulled away to sit up, leaning against the headboard, and Bella followed him to sit next to him, leaning against his shoulder. He reached for her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. After a long silence, Bella started to speak, but he quieted her with a finger to her lips.
"Wait." Edward shifted his position so that he faced her on the bed, and took her other hand in his. He gazed down at the tangle of fingers in her lap, then up at her face. "Bella, I love you. I will always love you. You have to know that. I am so sorry for whatever it is that caused...well, whatever this is."
Bella nodded, her eyes downcast.
"Please, baby, look at me. Please tell me what's wrong. Are you...do you want out? Is that what this is all about?"
Bella looked up, surprised at his words. "Do I...do I what?" she asked. "Do I want out? Is that what you think this is all about?"
"Well, you wanted to take the ring off...and there's the thing in London...if you want your freedom, I'll give it to you..." he trailed off sadly.
"Edward Cullen, I swear, you have to be the stupidest human alive."
This was certainly not what Edward had been expecting, and he found himself getting angry at her words.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked sharply, pulling his hands from hers.
"All this?" Bella pulled away and got up to begin pacing around the small room. She gestured wildly at herself. "You really don't know what happened here? I have to make the biggest, hardest, most complicated decision of my WHOLE LIFE, and the ONE person who could really help me decide is also the ONE person I can't talk to about it? Are you really surprised that I had a meltdown?"
"Bella, what on Earth are you talking about? Who couldn't you talk to?"
Bella spun where she stood to face him. "You, you asshole! "
"What the hell, Bella? What do you mean you couldn't talk to me about it? You WOULDN'T talk to me about it! You just spent the whole week moping and hiding and acting like a crazy person, and I've been tearing my hair out, wondering what is going on!" Edward had left the bed as well, and they stood face to face now.
"But you TOLD me! " she rebutted, her voice rising. "You said not to talk about it! You told me to take the whole week! You said not to tell you! You didn't want to know!"
Edward looked stunned for a moment, then he began to chuckle. He doubled over, laughing as Bella became more and more confused.
"Edward?" she said, annoyed, "what exactly is your damage?"
Edward managed to calm himself down enough to talk. "Bella, do you ever feel like our entire relationship has been one long game of Who's on First?" He burst into laughter again.
Bella dropped onto the bed, mystified. "Edward, what the hell are you talking about?"
He continued to laugh for a few minutes, then breathed deeply in an attempt to calm himself. He sat down beside her. "Bella, I said that so you wouldn't feel pressured. I didn't want you to feel like you had to be in any hurry to decide, or like you had to do what I wanted you to do. So I promised not to ask about it so you could make your own decision."
Bella began to laugh as well, but the laughter had a hysterical edge, and soon turned into sobs. Edward pulled her into his lap and cuddled her tightly to him. "Baby? What is it? What's wrong now?"
Bella nodded against his chest, and gulped back a sob. "I thought...you said..." suddenly she pulled back and smacked him in the chest.
"What the heck was that about, crazy girl?" Edward grabbed her hand as she went for his chest again.
"You said you didn't want to talk about it! I've spent the last week in emotional theme park hell, and I needed to talk to someone, and I couldn't even say anything about it to you, because you said not to! "
Edward pulled her close again and kissed the top of her head. "I'm so sorry, baby. I never meant for you to feel like you couldn't talk to me." He gently ran his fingertips over her cheeks, wiping away the tears that lingered there. "Emotional theme park hell, hunh? Me too. I'm surprised we didn't bump into one another in line for the tilt-a whirl."
"I spent most of my time on the bumper cars." Bella giggled, then sniffled, wiping the remnants of tears from her face. "We're so dumb."
"We really are. Mostly me. I really am the stupidest human alive." Edward kissed her gently. "Good thing we found each other. Maybe we can get smarter together."
"I doubt it." Bella grinned at him. "At least we're pretty."
"That we are." Edward captured her lips with his again for a long moment, then drew back and brushed his nose back and forth against hers. "So, you still want to marry me?" Bella nodded solemnly. "You think you're ready to put the ring back on? You don't have to, you know, we can keep it quiet for a while." Bella shook her head and reached up to unclasp the chain from around her neck. She removed the ring and handed it to Edward, who once again slid it onto her finger. The sat together, staring down at the diamond, until Edward broke the silence.
"Did you decide anything, maybe between the roller coaster and the bumper cars?"
Bella bit her lip and smiled shyly at him. Edward thought he saw a bit of apprehension mixed with excitement in her eyes. "I've decided... I think...I want to go."
Edward's breath rushed from his lungs, as if he had been punched in the gut. He was so taken aback that he almost missed her next words.
"And I want you to come with me."
A/N Thanks to everyone who is reading this little story – I hope you enjoyed it!