A/N: I know, I know, update my other stories. I am working on them but I already have a few more chapters of this story written due to my lack of access to the net when I moved and I do not save the posted chapters on my comp as it slows it down, so I couldn't review my other stories to write for them. I have three more chapters written for this story so I will be posting one chapter a day for the next three days. I should also let you know that this chapter has a bit of a twist to it so keep with me as in the next few chapters, the story line picks up a bit and as they say, the plot thickens.
Harry looked at the small journal for almost an hour before he worked himself up enough to actually open the first page. The cover itself looked like it had been opened a million times before. The well-defined crease proved that the journal was actually used a lot, but he still wasn't sure he wanted to know what was inside.
His finger traced the gold initials that he knew stood for one person, the person he hated more than anyone, including his gold digging wife. He still didn't understand why Draco was so curious about Hermione's treatment, but he had a feeling the answers were inside the journal and he secretly dreaded what he would possibly find inside.
He fixed his reserve, opened the damn book to the first page and began reading. He would figure out Draco's curiosity one way or another.
Hermione ran her fingers through her hair as she looked at the small bottle of potion, courtesy of one of her trainers. The potion itself smelled pleasant enough but the more she thought about the effects, the more she hesitated on drinking it.
Her night did not go as well as she hoped. She eventually managed to sleep but it was short lived and only happened in fifteen-minute spurts. Every time she closed her eyes, Harry was standing over her, his face screwed up in complete rage as he cast her from his life. The words came back to her in complete clarity, reminding her that the life she once had was now gone.
Sleep was another one of those things that were normally seen in black and white, much like betrayal. Black was typically for nightmares and white was for pleasant or undisturbed sleep, but again, Hermione only had gray.
Her sleep used to fall into the white area, but that was so long ago that she had forgotten what it was like. She had only experienced the black here and there, but again, nothing she could dream up could compare to anything that she dealt with while awake so that left her in the gray.
They gray area was funny. The dreams you had weren't fluffy clouds and bunnies or mutant bats and serial killers, they were more like a mix of reality and fantasy and they almost always left you with an empty feeling when you woke up. They made you hate to sleep, made you hate to wake up, but unfortunately the human body had requirements whether you liked it or not and you got what you got the second yours eyes closed. Hermione had learned to deal with them but some nights were harder then others and that was the night Hermione had.
"Make the decision, Hermione." She muttered to herself as she picked up the small bottle.
One bottle, one little bottle at that, would take her memories away forever. There would be no more Harry, no more Ron, and certainly no more Lucius, but was it worth it?
The potion was designed specifically for the people involved with the program she was in. Snape had created it, but was not informed of why the ministry would need something like it. It was essentially a potion that cleared out the drinker's memories while only retaining the information pertaining to the job. The idea behind it was good, but it did not discriminate between good and bad memories and she wasn't sure she wanted to lose the precious few she had.
She wasn't sure she wanted to be turned into an emotionless robot who's only thoughts were eat, drink, sleep, and kill so she had to make her choice and make it quick.
Harry had not slept one ounce. The decision to open that damned, Merlin forsaken book, ruined any chance that he would set it down and crawl into his lumpy bed for sleep.
The first twenty pages were rough, but he pushed through. They had only talked about refusing her food and water and mentioned minor torture, but nothing he didn't think she could handle. Page 21, was when things started to get ugly and Harry became addicted to the damned book.
He had to admit, things were not pleasant for Hermione, but she was strong and he felt she could have held out longer, that was until he reached the entry on page 27.
How amusing it is to watch the young mudblood beg. She came here, tight lipped and refusing to talk but now, now she begs for me to give her death or to let her go… neither will happen for her.
The potter brat did very well in finding someone like Granger to cling to. She is loyal, stupidly loyal, in my opinion, and actually told me to.. what where those words again? fuck off??
She is a feisty one, but I will break her. She may hold Potters secrets but she cant hid them forever.
That was the page that initially made him rethink his treatment of her, maybe he was a bit harsh with her, but it still didn't bring anyone they had lost back.
Two hours later, he reached a part of the journal that would most likely make her three months into Lucius' care. He had to wipe his hands on his bed to rid them of the moisture, crack his neck to keep the fluid moving through his spinal cord and the deeper he got into the book, the more he took up activities like pacing and even growling.
She picked up the small bottle once again, warming the thick orange liquid in her hand as she continued to weigh her options. She could forget it all, all the biting words, all the painful memories, all the angry faces but she would also lose the few precious memories she retained that reminded her that she was human.
But were they important? The way her life was, she was practically a robot already, so would it matter if she killed the rest of it? Would she miss it?
She pulled the stopper of the bottle and raised it to her face. It was so simple, so easy, but it was the coward's way out and in the end, she poured the orange liquid down the sink drain, keeping her memories, both good and bad.
It only took her an hour after pouring the potion out for her to pull herself together and head to her office. She planned on visiting the house that was being remodeled but needed a few things to prepare for her little outing.
She made it to her office, kicked off her shoes and reached into the drawer that contained the file on Malfoy… it wasn't there. She pulled the drawer out, lifted the other files and searched through them, one by one, panicking that the file had gone missing.
"You wont find it." A voice said from the doorway.
Hermione jerked her head up and looked into the dark blue eyes of George.
"Why not? I wasn't finished with him." She retorted
George came into her office and warded the door. He placed a silencing charm around the room and took his normal chair.
"They have called off the Malfoy inquiry." He stated calmly, "For some reason they feel that he is no longer a threat."
Hermione groaned, this was the second time they retracted a case due to not finding any evidence and not wanting to tie up their people when there was someone else that needed to be watched.
"So I assume I am already assigned a new subject?"
George nodded and pulled a file from inside his robes. He smirked again, but this time there was something in his smirk that gave her the chills.
"You will still be dealing with the Malfoys but this time you are dealing with Alexia Malfoy, Draco Malfoy's ex wife."
Hermione could do nothing but shake her head. The Ministry must be really bored to think a woman of Alexia Malfoy's brain capacity could be up to anything other then yelling about a dress that may have made her ass look too big.
"Are you serious? The woman is as dumb as a box of rocks, why would they suspect her?"
George took a deep breath.
"A file showed up about her, one that had an immediate effect on the Ministry. Alexia Malfoy is actually highly intelligent but is hiding that fact from everyone, including her ex husband. We don't know the full details on the woman but we know that her N.E.W.T scores were very high and she has been meeting with some rather… unsavory characters."
Hermione couldn't help but laugh, so the Ministry suspected the woman to be up to something because she hid her intelligence? And what was the deal with unsavory people? Did they mean people like her?
"I… don't know what to think about this one but I'll look over the file and see what I can come up with."
It had been seven hours since he began reading the book, and one since he had finished, but he still sat on the edge of the bed, unmoving, unthinking, and just barely holding onto the rage he felt, not only towards Lucius Malfoy, but himself as well.
He realized now that he had been so wrapped up in himself and the losses he had felt, that he didn't take into consideration that anyone else had lost anything compared to him. He never really asked her what happened, never gave her the chance to explain, and now he realized that had he done so, he may not have lost one of the people that cared for him more then anyone.
He couldn't imagine what it was like for her, being raped, and abused both physically and mentally while trying to keep a secret to protect someone else. The journal would probably give him nightmares for years to come but it was the last entry that bothered him the most, the entry that would stick in his mind for the rest of his life and nothing would ever erase it.
He opened the journal to the last page once again and despite his mind screaming at him to stop, he began to read the last entry.
Victory is sweet. I shall inform the Dark Lord of Potters whereabouts come morning and will be rewarded greatly for my efforts in completing my task. I must admit, the mudblood took more for team Potter then most in her position would have and despite her wishes for death, I will not give it to her. The mudblood is mine now, I will ask for her as a reward so I can continue to use her as I see fit.
The entry was longer but that was as far as he needed to read. The sentence 'took more for team Potter then most' was his final undoing considering he spent years hating her for not doing enough. He slid the book under his matress and climbed in to get some rest… if he could.