Twilight and all its characters are the property of Stephanie Meyer.
"Mr. Cullen, thanks for coming in today."
"Thanks for seeing me, Mr. Banner."
"I know your time is valuable, so I will cut right to it. The reason I wanted to talk to you, Mr. Cullen, is that we have been very impressed with your work here. Very impressed indeed. As I am sure you are aware, musicians do not tend to be the most reliable sort, so to see someone with your work ethic and dedication has been very refreshing."
Edward's hopes rose - if they were that happy with him, maybe he would be able to convince his boss to hold his job for him for a year - or better yet, to allow him him to work from London for the duration of his stay.
"An opportunity has arisen, Mr. Cullen, that I am very pleased to offer you. You are familiar, I assume, with the group Poor Ornery People?"
"Yes, sir." Edward was indeed familiar with them. They were an up-and-coming group whose combination of folk and Celtic sound was beautiful and intriguing. They had met with no small amount of local success, and while he wouldn't call himself a fan exactly, he had heard them play several times and had enjoyed it immensely.
"Good." Mr. Banner punctuated his statement with a little nod. "They are preparing to record an album with us, and are scheduled to go into the studio next week. Yesterday their pianist suffered a small accident and will not be able to play on the album."
"What happened?"
Mr. Banner rolled his eyes. "Apparently he was skateboarding and fell down a flight of concrete stairs." He paused at Edward's gasp. "He's fine, and should recover, but he broke his wrist and 3 fingers. As you can imagine, that will make recording impossible."
Edward nodded. Mr. Banner had just described every pianist's worst nightmare.
"Anyway," Mr. Banner continued, seemingly unaware of the horror his words had provoked, "they are planning a tour in a few months, and they can't afford to wait for him to heal before recording the album. So they want you."
Edward wasn't sure he had heard correctly. "Excuse me?"
"Apparently you have earned quite a reputation among the local musicians. They have heard your work, and they want you to record the album with them. Obviously this would be a step up from the work you are doing now, and would include a pay increase along with royalties. It could also lead to other opportunities down the road. Congratulations, son."
"Sir, I..."
"We'll work out all the details later, I'm sure we can come to an agreement that would be amenable to all parties involved."
"Sir, I appreciate it, but..."
"No appreciation needed, son, you deserve it." Mr Banner pressed a button on his phone. "Mrs. Cope, can you send Garrett in please?"
A moment later the door opened and a man entered - a man Edward recognized as one of the members of Poor Ornery People.
"Garrett, I would like to introduce Edward Cullen - Edward, Garrett Sheffield."
Edward rose and met Garrett's outstretched hand with his own. He felt a little star-struck.
"Good to meet you, man." Garrett's handshake was firm as he smiled brightly at Edward.
It took Edward a moment to find his voice. "Nice to meet you too. It's a real honor."
"The honor's all mine. Sorry the rest of the band couldn't make it, we're all really happy to have you with us."
Mr. Banner cleared his throat, attracting the attention of the other two young men in the room.
"We can work out all the details on Monday - you two go ahead out and celebrate." He came aroud the desk and laid a hand on Edward's shoulder. "Have a good weekend son, and congratulations."
Edward and Garrett left the office together. Edward wondered if should pinch himself. He was roused from his daze by Garrett's voice.
"Wanna go grab a beer? I could probably round up a couple of the guys." Edward nodded, and Garrett pulled out his phone and began text messaging.
Before he really knew what was happening, Edward found himself at a table in a bar around the corner form his office building, surrounded by three members of the band. He was a little anxious at first, but soon he found himself laughing and chatting easily with them. He began to get excited at the prospect of spending the time with them recording an album, and the thought of a tour began to seem like more of a real possibility.
Except I can't go. The thought sprang into Edward's mind with a pang of guilt.
I won't say anything about it now - I should really talk to Mr. Banner first. Besides, it can't hurt to get to know them, right? Edward pushed his worries, and the thought that he might be handing this all wrong, out of his mind for the moment.
Time slipped away without Edward's notice, and before he realized it it was almost seven. He had left the office before four, and was amazed at how quickly the time had passed, and how much fun the evening had been. He bade the band goodbye and headed back to where his car was parked.
The drive home, which never failed to seem interminable on Friday afternoons, passed all too quickly. Edward was so lost in his thoughts that when he found himself pulling into a space in the parking deck near his apartment he could not remember driving home.
I've got to pull it together.
He climbed the stairs and pushed open the door to find Bella seated on the sofa with her computer on her lap. He supposed she must be absorbed in whatever she was doing, because she didn't appear to notice that he had entered the room.
"Bella."
She started, emitting a tiny squeak of surprise. She grabbed her laptop, which had nearly fallen when she jumped.
"Edward! You scared me to to death!" She sat the computer on the coffee table without closing it, and stood, crossing the room to greet him. I don't want to stay here without her, he thought as her felt her arms slide around his waist.
"Hi."
"Hi," he replied. He buried his face in her hair and held her tight, reveling her scent and the feel of her in his arms.
She pulled back slightly and looked up at his face. "You ok?" she asked, reaching up to smooth the small crease between his eyes.
Edward nodded and gave her a final squeeze before releasing her.
"I'll be back in a minute." Bella lifted her face and placed a kiss on his cheek before she walked out of the living room, heading towards her bedroom.
Edward sat down on the sofa. His attention was drawn by the email currently open on Bella's computer screen.
Dear Ms. Swan,
We are delighted that you have decided to join us for this year's Stratford Fellowship program.
Thank you for your inquiry regarding living arrangements for program participants. As you know, due to the intensive nature of the program, all program participants are required to live in university housing. After reviewing your situation, we regret to inform you that we will be unable to approve your request for an exception to this requirement. There is no coeducational housing available for singles on our campus.
There is a limited amount of on-campus housing for married students. Depending on your circumstances, this may provide a solution for your housing dilemma.
Please inform us of your plans as soon as possible.
Best wishes,
Jane Volturi
Director of Student Affairs
Stratford Foundation
Edward sat back on the sofa with a sigh. That definitely made things more complicated, but it was still doable. Even if he could not live with her, he could still get an apartment in the city nearby. Surely she would have some free time that they could spend together, and once everything was settled and she had found a routine, they would probably have even more time. He would talk to Mr. Banner on Monday. He hoped that Mr. Banner's irritation when Edward turned down the offer to record would not prevent him from considering Edward's request to work from London.
Edward was turning to call towards Bella's room, planning to ask her what she wanted to do with their evening, when his phone rang. He checked the caller id before he answered.
Carlisle. Good, maybe he can help me decide what to do.
****r~d****
Bella had been planning to ask Edward what had kept him, but the words died on her lips when she walked into the living room and saw the look on Edward's face.
"Baby, what's wrong?" She could not remember ever seeing Edward look so upset.
"Dad just called. Mom...she...oh, god..." Bella quickly circled the sofa and sat down next to him, taking his hands in hers.
"Edward! What happened? Edward!"
"Mom was driving home and she hit a deer. They don't know how long she sat there until someone found her...she's on her way to the emergency room right now...they don't know if she...Edward broke off with a choked sob.
"Oh! Edward, I'm so sorry!" Bella pulled Edward into her embrace and held him tightly, trying to soothe away the tremors she felt travelling through his body. "Do you want to go to Forks?" Edward did not reply for a little while, then Bella felt him nod against her shoulder.
"Give me five minutes." Bella shot up off the sofa and went into Edward's room, mentally making a list of what they would need to take for a weekend most likely spent in a hospital waiting room. She grabbed a pair of his jeans and a pair of sweatpants, a couple of t-shirts and a hoodie, then pulled out a few pairs of clean underwear. She went in his bathroom and picked up his toothbrush and toothpaste and shampoo. She removed a duffel bag from his closet and stuffed everything into it, then carried it to her room, where she located similar items for herself. Less than five minutes later she was back in the living room, where Edward had composed himself somewhat.
"Are you ok to drive, sweetheart? I can if you need me to." Edward silently nodded and handed Bella his keys. It was a rare occasion that Edward allowed anyone else to drive his car - Bella took it as an indication of exactly how upset he must be.
"Don't forget your phone." Edward picked up the device from where it lay on the coffee table, and they went out the door, Bella locking it behind them.
It was late enough in the day for traffic to be manageable, and they were able to get out of the city quickly. As soon as they hit open highway, Bella took Edward's hand in hers and held it tightly in her lap, stroking his fingers and murmuring reassurances that everything would be ok. They both jumped when Edward's phone rang, and he fumbled with it before he managed to tap the screen to answer.
Bella struggled to keep her mind on driving as she listened to Edward's side of the conversation.
"Dad?"
"Yeah, we're on our way."
"Alright."
"OK"
"I understand. I love you too."
Edward tapped his screen again and slumped in his seat. Bella reached over and took his cold hand.
"What did he say?"
"She's in surgery. They don't think she is as injured as they originally thought, but they won't know anything else for a little while. Are you alright to keep driving?"
Bella nodded and put her hand on the back of Edward's neck, gently rubbing the tense muscles there. They continued on through the growing dusk, speaking only occasionally. Bella drove as fast as she dared, the needle on the speedometer creeping slowly higher and higher as they got closer to Forks and the relative safety of Charlie's police friends. When the needle crept over ninety, Edward slid his hand onto her thigh.
"Baby, I appreciate the thought, but a reckless driving ticket isn't going to help anything, and getting there a few minutes earlier isn't worth risking another accident." She smiled at him and turned his hand over, weaving her fingers through his.
"Esme will be ok, Edward. She has to be." Bella said a quick prayer that her words would prove true. She could not imagine the devastation to all of them if Esme were to...she couldn't even think about it.
A little less than three hours after they left their apartment, Bella pulled into the parking lot of the hospital in Forks. Almost before she had stopped the car, Edward was out of the door and headed into the building. Bella hurried behind him. Both of them were familiar with the place - Edward because his father had been on staff since before he was born, and Bella because her clumsiness had caused her to be a frequent visitor as a teenager. They quickly found their way to the emergency room, where Edward consulted with the nurse on duty. He turned to Bella and spoke for the first time since they entered the hospital.
"She's still in surgery. Dad's up in the OR waiting room."
****r~d****
Edward felt bad about almost leaving Bella behind, but he could not seem to find the patience to wait another minute. The drive had been nearly unbearable, and it took all of his self-control not to scream in frustration at the time it took to get to where his mother lay in surgery, maybe even...he couldn't think about it.
He could never remember his father sounding like that. His voice on the phone had been flat, lifeless, far from the warm tones he usually possessed. His father had always been the one he could turn to for help or support; he could not imagine how he would handle it if that were no longer the case.
Fortunately, the nurse in the ER had recognized him and had known a bit of what was going on. She had directed him to the waiting room where she knew his father would most likely be. He said a silent prayer of thanks that he knew exactly where to go. He trusted Bella to follow along as he jogged towards the OR lounge.
Carlisle's blond hair was immediately recognizable among the few people seated in the small room. He rose when he saw Edward push though the swinging doors, and crossed the room to embrace his son. He pulled away and turned to tug Bella into his arms as well.
"Thanks for coming, sweetheart. Thank you for bring my son to me."
"What's happening, dad? It's been a long time since you called."
"We're still waiting. I talked to Dr. Anderson before she went in to surgery, and she said she would let us know something as soon as possible. She's a good doctor, your mother is in excellent hands. Let's sit down."
Bella sat down on a loveseat and pulled Edward down beside her. It was suprisingly comfortable for a hospital waiting room. Carlisle sat in an armchair facing them. He squared his shoulders and began to speak.
"It appears that your mother hit a deer on her way home. She was either knocked out or lost control of the car - either way she drove over the shoulder and down the embankment into a tree. We were very fortunate - the road she was on has very steep sides, and the area she drove off was once of the few relatively flat areas. If she had driven off the road at any other point the drop would have certainly been fatal. Her angels must have been watching carefully."
Edward felt Bella grip his hand tightly as they continued to listen to Carlisle's story.
"Her external injuries were not too severe, considering the collision, but she was there for several hours before anyone spotted the car and called for help. He blood pressure was very low when she came in, indicating a severe internal bleed. Dr. Anderson is currently attempting to repair the internal injury that caused that bleed. She has had several transfusions, and when she went into surgery she was relatively stable, but If they are unable to stop the internal bleeding, then..." Carlisle trailed off.
"Can I give blood for her?" Edward felt completely helpless, and had latched onto the one thing he thought he could do to help.
"You can certainly donate blood son, but you are B positive and your mother is A negative. She cannot accept B positive blood."
"What about me Carlisle?" Bella spoke hesitantly. "I am type O negative."
Carlisle smiled at Bella. "Yes, sweetheart, that would work. I can make the arrangements if you like." Bella nodded in assent. Edward felt his heart swell at the thought that his fiancee loved his mother enough to give her blood.
"I am going to go back in and see what I can find out - I can't go into the OR but I might be able to do something. Will you two be alright here? You know where the cafeteria is if you need coffee or anything."
"We'll be ok dad." Edward stood along with his father, and hugged him before sitting back down next to Bella.
"Can I do anything, Edward? Do you want anything?" Bella stroked the skin of his arm as she spoke, and Edward felt calm start to steal through him at her touch. Edward shook his head. She grabbed a pillow from a nearby chair and laid it in her lap, pulling Edward down so that his head lay on it. He looked up at the soft brown eyes gazing down at him.
"I am sure she is going to be fine Edward. Your mother is strong." Edward grasped at the certainty in Bella's voice. She has to be alright.
She reached down and began to stroke his hair, toying with it and twirling it between her fingers. She did not speak again, but continued to caress his hair and scalp until Edward felt his mind begin to drift and his body relax. It became more and more difficult to lift his eyelids after each blink, and finally he stopped trying.
****r~d****
"Edward?" At the sound of his father's voice, Edward woke from his doze and lifted his head from where it had been resting in Bella's lap. Edward stood to meet him in the center of the room. Bella followed behind Edward, standing slightly behind him and putting her arm around his waist.
"Esme is out of surgery, Edward. Everything went very well. Would you like to see her?"
Edward nodded. Edward turned to Bella and kissed her on the forehead. "We'll be back soon," he murmured, and she squeezed him gently before releasing him. She watched as the two men passed through the large double doors.
"Hey Bells." At the unexpected voice behind her, Bella turned to find her father standing a few feet away.
"Hi dad." He approached her hesitantly and stopped when he was standing a few feet away..
"I heard about Esme. I didn't take the call, the accident was too far out but...well, I wondered if you might be here.
"Yeah, we came down when we heard."
Bella considered her father. He was in his uniform, but instead of making him look intimidating, as it always had in Bella's memory, he just looked...small. He was thinner than he had been the last time she had seen him, and his shirt and pants looked overly large. Apart from a brief phone call when she and Edward had gotten engaged, a call that had been solely at Edward's insistence, they had not spoken since that terrible day she had visited on his birthday. She was suddenly struck by how sort of...pitiful...he looked.
"You wanna sit down, dad?"
Charlie looked uncomfortable as he perched on the edge of one of the soft chairs in the lounge. Bella sat down across from him, on the same loveseat she and Edward had been sitting in moments before.
Silence stretched between them like blank canvas.
"So, um. How ya been, Bells?" Charlie's question was forced, and punctuated by a cough.
"I'm fine dad. How are you?"
"I'm alright, I guess...back been troubling me a bit."
"I'm sorry."
"I heard your mother got married."
Bella was surprised by these words. "How did you hear that?"
"Talked to your brother."
"Oh."
"Heard they came to see you." It was a statement, not a question, and Bella was unsure whether he expected a reply.
"Yeah. Phil's nice." Mom's not. She did not dare say the words out loud, unsure how her father would react, even after several years of being divorced.
"That's what Jasper said. Said your mom was pretty hard on you."
"Mmm-hmm."
Again the silence fell between them, so palpable that Bella thought she could probably slice it up and serve it with crackers.
"Anything new with you?"
"Yeah, I...I'm leaving in a few weeks. For London."
"London?" Charlie was clearly surprised by this information - apparently Jasper hadn't told him everything that was going on. "Why? For how long?"
"Almost a year. I got a fellowship. It's kind of a big deal - they only take about a hundred people."
"From the US?"
"From the whole world."
Charlie appeared to consider this for a moment. "I thought you were supposed to be getting married."
"I am." Bella fingered the ring on her left hand, twisting it around her finger. "We're waiting until I get back."
"Well, that's...that's really something Bella. London, hunh? And Edward doesn't mind waiting so long?"
Bella contemplated for a moment the best way to answer her father. Mentioning that Edward was going with her might not be the best plan, since her father had been so opposed to their current living arrangements - then again, he might be pleased that Bella would not be living in a foreign country alone. Either way, it was inevitable that he would find out eventually, so she might as well tell him now.
"Edward is coming with me, dad."
Charlie was silent for a moment, and Bella braced herself for the explosion she felt sure was coming. But it never came.
"Is he really? Well...that's...real nice, Bells."
What?
"Um, yeah, dad, it is. We're excited."
"Best not to rush into anything, I suppose."
Bella could barely comprehend her father's words. He wasn't yelling, be wasn't turning purple, and at no point in the conversation had he implied that she was a whore for moving overseas with her fiance.
Did Charlie have a near-death experience or something?
"So, um, Bells...well, I gotta tell you...I know I don't say it much, but...I'm real proud of you."
Bella wondered for a moment if she had had a stroke, or fallen into an alternate reality where her parents and Edward's had switched personalities.
"Uh...thanks, dad," she managed to stammer through her shock. He continued.
"I know I've been hard on you...probably not going to win father of the year or anything..." Charlie ran an uncomfortable hand over his thinning hair. "Hell, maybe I shouldn't have even had kids. But, it seems like you have done pretty well for yourself. You and your brother both turned out ok."
"I guess." Bella's mind suddenly whirled though all the ways she was definitely not ok; her fears, her insecurities, the difficulty she faced letting anyone in - but she decided it wasn't worth trying to elucidate those to her father when he was clearly trying to...she wasn't entirely sure what he was trying to do, exactly, but it was different, and not entirely unpleasant, to have her father be nice to her for once.
Charlie stood, and Bella followed suit. "I'd better go...I'm on duty, but I wanted to see if you were here...let me know how Esme does, alright?"
"I will. I'll tell Carlisle you came by."
"Thanks Bells. And Bella?" Charlie was looking at the ground, even as he said her name.
"Yeah dad?"
"Give me a call sometime...you know, if you want to...let me know how London is."
Bella could only nod. She felt tears prick her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.
"It was good to see you, kid." Charlie stepped closer to her, and reached towards her in what Bella suspected might have been the beginnings of a hug, but he seemed to lose his nerve halfway and instead patted her awkwardly on the arm. "Bye now. Be safe driving back."
"I will." She turned to watch her father walk out the door.
****r~d****
Looking down at his mother, Edward tried desperately to control his emotions and swallow the lump rising in his throat. Esme had always been so strong, no matter what circumstances she was facing. Now she was lying in a bed, nearly unrecognizable under the wires and tubes attached to virtually every part of her body. Her hair, normally so vibrant that it might as well be alive, lay limp against the white pillow. Her beautiful, creamy skin was pale and waxen and marred with purpling bruises. Her eyes were closed and her chest rose and fell slowly, as it had any of the thousand times Edward had seen his mother asleep; but, despite his best efforts, he could not convince his mind to believe that she was just sleeping.
Instead, it insisted on thinking she was dying.
He battled the urge to weep, or run from the room, or collapse, but instead remained stationary, his hands gripping the rail on the side of the bed until he felt his fingers begin to protest.
When he was four years old, Edward had declared to his parents that he was too old to continue calling them mommy and daddy, and from that point forward they had been mom and dad. Until this moment.
"Mommy?" He reached a tentative finger out to stroke her face, down her temple and cheek to her jaw. "I'm here...me and dad, we're here...Bella too, and we all want you to get better. We need you to...stay here. With us." Edward's words stopped as he choked back a sob.
Carlisle's hand came up and took Edward's, and together they stood next to the bed and gazed down at the woman who had created their world.
"Dad?" Edward's voice was jolting in the silence of the room, broken only by the humming and beeping of the machines surrounding Esme's body. "Is she...will she..."
Carlisle continued to hold Edward's hand firmly. "Dr. Anderson said the surgery went well. They've stopped the bleeding and her blood pressure has stabilized. She may still need some blood, and she has a long road ahead of her...there are never any guarantees. Edward, you must understand that. None of us is promised tomorrow. But medically, it looks like she is going to recover over time."
"How on Earth are you so calm?"
"I am a lot older than you son, and it's my job to deal with situations like this. That's not to say I haven't had my moments. There is no worse feeling in the world than being trained to save lives and knowing that you cannot do anything to save the person you love most in the world."
"I can imagine." Edward's thoughts leapt to Bella, sitting alone in the waiting room. If anything were to happen to her...I don't know what I would do.
"I think I am going back to check on Bella. I don't want to leave her out there alone for too long."
"Alright son." Carlisle's smile was warm as he looked at his son. "I'm going to stay here. Let me know if you guys want to head out - you can stay at the house tonight if you want. I'll call you if anything changes"
Edward left the room, but glanced back in through the window in the door before heading back to the waiting room. His father had pulled a chair up beside Esme's bed and sat holding her hand. As he watched, Carlisle learned down to place a kiss on his wife's forehead. Edward turned, feeling as if he were intruding on intimacy he was never meant to see, and started down the hall towards his love.
****r~d****
Bella took Edward's hand as he stopped his car in the driveway of his parents' home. He had not said much after leaving the hospital, and she was worried about his state of mind.
"Hey. You ok?" She reached up and cupped his cheek in her hand.
He nodded, then turned his face to kiss her palm. "I'm really tired," he replied softly. "Let's go in and go to bed." They entered the dark house and headed up the stairs towards Edward's old room. Bella grabbed her bag and headed into the hall bathroom to change and brush her teeth.
She entered the bedroom to find Edward sitting on the bed. Bella smiled to herself at the sight of him - he looked so much like the little boy she had grown up with. He had apparently located an old pair of pajamas in a drawer somewhere; they were too short in the arms and legs, and looked worn, but still fit, essentially. He looked up when her heard her approach, and smiled, reaching for her. He pulled her close to him, between his legs, wrapping his arms around her waist and and resting his head on her stomach.
"Bella, I'm so glad you are here with me. I don't know what I would have done..."
Bella cradled his head gently in her hands. "I'm happy I could be here, Edward. I love your mom, you know that." She pulled away from him and rounded the bed, then climbed in and pulled the covers up over herself. Edward had not moved from his earlier position, so she reached over and tugged on his pajamas.
"Come on, you'll feel better if you get some sleep. We'll go back in the morning." He laid down next to her, their bodies close together on the small bed.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Bella asked. "I can go sleep in another room, there's not a lot of room here. I still can't believe you slept in a twin size bed until you moved out." She giggled, and Edward poked her in the side.
"Shut it. It's not like you were any different." She continued to giggle until Edward silenced her by finding her lips with his.
Bella loved kissing Edward, but she was a little surprised at his action. Because they had decided to wait to make love until after they were married, they rarely did anything physical in bed beyond snuggling, since stopping once they started had proven difficult. She soon relaxed into the kiss though, relishing the feel of his mouth, the smell of his skin, the feel of his slight stubble. There was an intensity in Edward's kiss tonight that she had never felt before. It was almost desperation. He broke off the kiss briefly, and they both took a few deep breaths before his mouth descended to hers again. He rolled so that his body covered hers partially, and his hand began to creep downwards from where it had been gripping her shoulder. He gently caressed her waist for a few minutes, then Bella felt his hand slide under the hem of her tank top and begin to explore her ribcage. When she felt his fingers graze the underside of her breast, she pulled away.
"Edward."
He did not acknowledge her, instead he moved his head so that he was nuzzling and kissing her neck as his hands continued their exploration. Bella found herself sinking back into the pleasurable haze brought on by the feel if his mouth and fingers.
Why did I want to stop, again?
Edward shifted himself again on the bed, and Bella would have toppled off the edge of the small mattress if it hadn't been for Edward's body on hers. The realization helped to bring her out of the fog just long enough remember what she was going to say.
"Edward? Baby, stop." She pulled away from him as far as she could in the limited space. He groaned.
"What is it, Bella?"
Bella was a little taken aback by the annoyed tone of his voice, but she persisted. "Sweetheart, we have to stop. If you want to take things further than we have, we can, but we need to talk about it first."
Edward sighed deeply and rolled over onto his back, covering his face with his hands.
"I'm tired of talking."
Bella followed him and pulled one of his hands off his face into hers.
"I understand. But this isn't the right place. You would be mad at yourself later, you know you would."
Edward huffed and opened one eye to look at her.
"Besides," she added, lifting herself onto one elbow to look down at him, "do you really want our first time to be at two in the morning, in your parents' house, in your old twin-size bed?" She raised her eyebrows as he scrunched up his face, then sighed again.
"I guess not." Bella scooted down to rest her head on his chest, but he stopped her. "Can you give me a minute? I need to...calm down."
"Sure. Do you want me to leave?" Bella started to get out of bed, but Edward replied before she could.
"No, stay there, just...stay on your side for a bit, alright?
She thought to herself that there wasn't really enough bed for her to have a side, but she complied with his request. She looked over, and could see in the moonlight coming through the window that he had his eyes closed and was taking deep breaths. She had begun to wonder if he had fallen asleep when he opened his eyes and smiled over at her. She smiled back, tentatively, and he reached for her. He pulled her close and tucked himself behind her. As she drifted off to sleep, she felt his lips and breath on her ear as he whispered "I love you."
Bella woke confused. It took her a moment to remember where she was, and how she had arrived there. Once she had oriented herself she tried to determine what had awakened her. It was still dark outside, so she knew she could not have been asleep for very long. Then she heard it again - a muffled chiming sound that was coming from the chair in the corner of the room. As soon as she realized what it was she slid out of bed and located her jeans. She extricated her phone from her pocket and saw she had three missed calls, all in the last ten minutes, all from a number she did not recognize.
She exited the bedroom and closed the door quietly behind her, then dialed the mystery number. She was not entirely surprised at the voice she heard on the other end.
****r~d****
"Edward!"
"Edward, wake up!"
Edward swatted idly at the hand he felt shaking him. He was too tired to wake up. His eyes would not open, they were too heavy.
"Go 'way," he mumbled, hoping that whoever the voice belonged to would do exactly that.
The bed dipped as the someone sat down next him and continued to pester him.
"Edward!" Shake. "Wake up!" Shake. "Please baby, you have to wake up!" The voice sounded desperate, and familiar. Reluctantly, Edward made the effort to open his eyes. They slowly focused on the face of a young woman with a cloud of wavy dark hair surrounding a pale face.
"Bella?" he croaked, "what the hell?"
"Edward, your father called. We have to go!"
My father...what...go where... Suddenly everything can flooding back to him - the accident, the hospital, his mom lying on that sterile bed. He sat up and saw that Bella was already dressed. He flipped the covers back and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He stood and began looking for his clothes, desperately fighting the tears that threatened to overwhelm him.
I never should have left the hospital...I didn't even get to say goodbye...what are we going to do?
It all was too much. The stress, the lack of sleep, the emotions, the shock; Edward dropped back down onto the bed and began to shake and gasp for air. In an instant Bella was beside him, her arms wrapped around his shoulders.
"Baby, what is it? Are you ok?"
"I can't believe...I don't know...what am I going to do without her?"
Bella continued to hug him close. "Edward, what are you talking about?"
He shook his head. "I just can't believe she's gone!"
Bella's face registered shock and confusion. "Sweetheart, what are you talking about?"
"You said my dad called...and we have to go.."
Suddenly Bella's face cleared. "Oh! Edward, I am so sorry, I didn't think you would assume...your dad said Esme's awake. She's asking for you."
****r~d****
Edward didn't believe it until he saw it. His mother was, indeed, awake, propped up slightly in the hospital bed. She was still loopy and weak, but she smiled when her son came in the room, and she managed to squeeze the hand that wrapped itself around hers when Edward came to stand beside her.
"Mom? How ya doin'?"
Esme's voice was rough, but Edward could hear its normal musical timbre underneath. "Hmmm...not the best day I've ever had, but I'm better than the deer, I suppose."
Edward grinned. Leave it to his mother to have a sense of humor when she had just narrowly avoided death.
"I don't know mom, the deer's in the next room over, and he's demanding a rematch."
Esme didn't miss a beat. "Give me six months, and tell him to bring it."
Edward grabbed the chair that sat several feet from the bed and dragged it over next to her. He sat down and took her hand back in his.
"Mom, I strictly forbid you to ever do anything like this again. Do you understand me, young lady?"
Esme smiled weakly at him. "I'll do my best. I love you, Edward."
"I love you too mom."
They sat in comfortable silence for a long while - Edward stroked her hand with his fingers until he saw that Esme's eyelids were closed. Her chest rose and fell slowly, and the heart monitor indicated that her pulse was slow but steady. He gently removed his hand from hers and moved to the door to give her some quiet time to rest. Just as he closed the door, he saw Carlisle coming towards him down the hallway. He smiled at the sight of his father, who looked a thousand times better than he had the last time. The two men embraced, then sat down on a pair of chairs just outside her room.
"She looks better." Edward's words were met with a smile from Carlisle.
"She is. She's much better than anyone expected at this point. Your mother is a remarkable woman."
Edward nodded and they sat in silence for a few moments until Carlisle spoke again.
"All night long I've been thinking about the first few years we were together. Everyone said we were crazy to get married right before I started my residency, since residents have to work such horrible hours. They said it would never work. I won't pretend it wasn't challenging, but I don't regret it, not even one minute. I kept thinking that, even if this was the end, that at least I could be thankful for our life together, and I was so happy that we had spent every possible minute of it together, even when it was hard." Carlisle turned at looked at his son. "Besides, if we had waited until after I was finished, we wouldn't have you. You aren't half bad to have around either." Carlisle leaned over and bumped Edward's shoulder with his, then the two men laughed together in relief.
****r~d****
Bella glanced over at Edward, scrutinizing his expression in the fading light. Carlisle had insisted they leave Forks early enough to arrive home before nightfall, citing the emotional upheaval of the weekend and their lack of sleep as reasons not to drive after dark. Edward had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the trip, but when he didn't need his hand to drive, he had gripped hers tightly, almost desperately.
Since Esme was in the ICU, only family were allowed to see her, but Carlisle had snuck Bella in for a few minutes anyway. It had shaken Bella to see her that way. Esme had always been strong. The whole weekend had been difficult. Watching the pain and fear in Edward and Carlisle had been heartbreaking, and Bella's thoughts were all over the place; one minute she was wishing she shared that kind of bond with someone, the next she was thankful she didn't, since it meant being spared that kind of pain.
The car pulled into a parking space, and they walked to their apartment quietly. Edward maintained his hold on her hand until they were in the living room. Bella had started carrying her bag back towards her bedroom when Edward stopped her with a hand on her arm.
"Bella, wait. I want...I need to talk to you."
She turned, and the look on his face nearly frightened her.
"Don't unpack. Just...I want...marry me Bella. Marry me tonight. We'll get a flight to Las Vegas, and by tomorrow we'll be Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. We'll spend our wedding night in the most beautiful suite we can find, and then we'll spend the year in London for a honeymoon."
Bella stared at Edward, taken completely off guard by his desperate words. "Edward, you're tired, and emotional..."
Edward took both of her hands in his and grasped them tightly. "I know what I'm asking, Bella. I want to marry you. I don't want to waste any more time."
"I don't think it's such a good idea..."
"What's the issue? I know you said you didn't want to elope, but why not? It's not as if you're close to your parents, and mine will understand. Hell, they'll be thrilled no matter what we do. Sure, Alice will be disappointed to miss out on planning a wedding, but we can plan a big welcome home party, or a reception or something. We can even have a full-blown wedding when we come back if that's what you want. Please Bella, just marry me."
"Edward, it's...I don't know if..." Bella's voice shook as she searched for words.
"I don't understand Bella. You've said yes, you are wearing my grandmother's ring, we've been living together for over a year, you spend every night in my bed...except for the sex part, we are practically married already. Is that it? Are you afraid of the whole sex thing? I don't have much experience, but if that's a problem I am sure we can work it out. We can go slow if you want. If birth control is the issue, I'll wear condoms. Please Bella, I just want to make you my wife." Edward punctuated his statement by pulling her close to him and kissing her fiercely.
Bella was breathless, and her eyes were wide as she pulled back and gazed at Edward. She smiled a little, then bit her lip.
"Baby...are you sure...it's so fast, and your parents..." Her heart felt as if it might jump out of her body and do a salsa routine in the middle of the living room.
Edward's face lit up as he saw her beginning to give in. "Yes, baby, I am serious. Please. Let's go now!"
Bella looked into Edward's beautiful face for a moment, studying his luminous expression. Then she dropped her gaze to the floor and took a deep breath.
"Edward, I...we can't. London...I have to live on campus and...and there's nowhere for married couples to live. It won't work."
The moment she heard the lie leave her lips, Bella felt her chest constrict, and she frantically wished she could grab the words out of the air or draw them back into her lungs. She didn't even know why she's said it. But she found herself continuing to talk.
"I finally heard back from the Stratford people...I had asked them about co-ed dorms, or if I could get an apartment in the city, but they said that all students are required to live on the university campus because the program is so intensive, and there's no married housing either."
There it was again - the lie. Bella felt another stone drop onto her chest, and felt as if it was surely from the castle of her dreams that was suddenly crumbling around her.
"I'm so sorry Edward...I wish...I mean, I can't...Oh god, I wish I knew what to say..." For the first time since he had asked the question, Bella looked up into Edward's face. His expression was another blow to the chest. His lips were pressed tightly together, his fists were clenched, and his eyes...Bella had never seen Edward's eyes look like that, like two holes burned through a photograph.
"Bella, why are you lying to me?"
Bella's breath caught. How did he know?
"What?"
"You are lying to me. I asked you why."
"Edward, I...I don't understand."
Edward's fists clenched tighter at his sides. 'I saw the email, Bella. You left your laptop open on the table and I saw it - the one that said everything you just explained, with one notable difference - there is, in fact, married housing. So, I want to know, why did you lie?
"I don't know what to...why were you reading my email, anyway Edward?" Bella grasped frantically at the only defense she could think of in that moment.
"I wasn't snooping Bella. You left the laptop on the table with the email open. I happened to see it."
"Edward, I can't believe-" Bella's words were cut off as Edward interrupted. She had never heard him shout before, and it startled her nearly to tears.
Bella, THAT IS NOT THE POINT! God! If it offends you so much, I'm sorry I read your damn email! But that doesn't change anything! Were you never going to tell me? Were you just going to lie and say we couldn't stay together, let me leave my job and rent an apartment in London when you knew we could be living together if you could just get over yourself and marry me? Is the thought of being with me that repellent to you? If that was the case, why did you even say yes?"
Tears were running down Bella's face now. She tried to speak, but Edward did not give her a chance. He wasn't yelling anymore, instead he spoke with a cold fury that twisted her stomach into knots.
"Bella, I was offered an incredible opportunity at work today. There's a band that wants me to record an album with them, and maybe tour with them afterwards. I met the band, and they are awesome. It's everything I've ever wanted, Bella. It sounds like a dream come true. But I had already decided not to go. I wasn't even going to mention it to you, I was just going to turn it down on Monday. As soon as I came home and saw your face and felt your arms around me I knew that there was no way I could be apart from you for a year, even for that. You know why? Because as much as I have dreamed about being a successful musician, being with you is more important. Loving you is an even bigger, better dream, and I would be willing to give up anything to get it. I guess you don't feel the same way."
"Edward, I didn't think...I don't know...and seeing your parents this weekend...I was so scared..." Bella's words stumbled out, caught between the sobs that she was utterly unable to control.
"No Bella, I don't want to hear any more excuses. You lied about your application, and you lied about where we could live, and god only knows what else you've lied to me about. Save it. I don't want to talk anymore. I don't even want to know you exist right now."
Edward turned and left the room. Bella heard his bedroom door close. She was left standing in the center of the living room alone. Her sobs increased until she was crying so hard she could barely breathe and the pain in her chest was nearly unbearable. She dropped to the floor and leaned on the couch, her body curled into a ball, her arms clutched around her chest and stomach in an attempt to lessen the pain she was sure was tearing her body into pieces. It did not make any difference though - the pain continued to rip through her in waves of agony.
I've ruined it. I've ruined it all.
After she lay there for what felt like days, she retreated to her bedroom and curled up on her bed in the darkness, her thoughts whirling. All she could think about was how she had wrecked everything.
My parents were right. I really am worthless. Everything I touch turns to trash.
Edward's words echoed through her mind on an endless loop. I don't want to talk anymore. I don't want to hear any more excuses. I guess you don't feel the same way. Is the thought of marrying me that repellent to you? I don't want to hear any more excuses. I don't want to talk anymore. I don't even want to know you exist right now. I don't want to talk anymore. I don't want to know you exist. Soon they were joined by other voices, harsh and loud. With each repetition, Bella's stomach clenched tighter, and the pain in her chest increased, until she was sobbing and shaking in despair.
Slowly she began to calm down. She took deep breaths and attempted to silence the voices screaming in her head. They were gradually replaced with others. She could hear Jasper, in his soft drawl, telling her he loved her and that she made up for all the craziness they had to put up with from their parents. He heard Alice, on the day of her wedding to Jasper, telling her how thankful she was to have her in her life, and how excited she was that Bella was going to be her sister. Real sisters, she'd said as they stood together in the bride's dressing room. It's the second best thing about marrying Jasper, she'd said, clasping Bella's hands. Jasper's the best, of course. She heard Esme's soft voice telling her how precious she was, and Carlisle introducing her to his friends with pride. This is my son's girlfriend, Bella. Isn't she lovely? Bella had blushed and stared at the floor, embarrassed by her surrogate father's ebullient praise, until Edward has whispered in her ear, smile, he loves you. We all love you. Out of everyone, it was Edward's voice which came through her mind more clearly than any other.
You're so beautiful.
I've never felt this way before.
Promise me you'll be with me forever.
No matter what, you can always come back here.
I'm proud of you.
You'll always be safe with me.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Bella stopped crying. It was a a fight. It was just a fight. They had argued before, but never like this. Always in the past they had resolved whatever conflict lay between them, at least enough to be at peace with one another. Surely they could work this out. At the very least, there was no way Edward would let her stay in here alone, knowing that she was this upset. He would be here soon, she just had to be patient.
Surely he'll come.
Any minute now.
Suddenly Bella sat up. She couldn't stand it anymore. If she wanted this to work, she could not keep waiting for Edward. It wasn't his responsibility to fix everything everytime something went wrong. She got out of bed and headed straight for the one place she knew she would find peace, and acceptance, and love - Edward's bedroom, and the gentle man who lived in it. They would work the rest out - London, school, marriage - she knew everything would be alright if only she could find her way back into his arms.
She reached his closed door, and took a deep breath. He'll forgive me, he has to forgive me. She reached for the doorknob and turned.
Edward's door was locked.
A/N - Please don't hate me. I'm not any happier about what happened in this chapter than you are.
Thank you for all your kind reviews, they make my day.
To my knowledge, there is no real bad called Poor Ornery People. A band I used to sing with did actually consider that as a name for a bit though. If there is an actual band out there by that name, please know that no copyright infringement was intended.