A/N Twilight and all related recognizable characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer, not me. I also don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, although I have all the DVDs, and I didn't write A Winter's Tale.
Bella fumbled in her pocket for her key, and after a few minutes and a few more mumbled curses finally managed to push her way into her room. She dropped her dripping bag on the floor, and caught a glimpse of herself in the small mirror as she flicked on the light.
Like a wet dog, she thought miserably. She shivered and began stripping off her wet clothes, dropping each item to the floor as she crossed to her dresser to extract a pair of sweats and a hoodie.
Damn England and its damn rain. After growing up in the Pacific Northwest, she thought she could handle rain, but nothing could have prepared her for the almost constant downpour that had thus far defined her experience in London. Even the students who were natives had commented on how unusually wet the autumn had been. She crossed to the radiator against the wall and stood as close as she could to its meager heat as she pulled on the dry clothes. Once her teeth had stopped chattering and she could relax a bit, she went to evaluate the damage to her bag.
She extracted the contents piece by piece. It wasn't too bad; the wet pages would dry, although she definitely wouldn't be selling any of her books at the end of the program. The pages of her class notebook looked okay, and her journal was almost dry. The only thing that really appeared to have been damaged was the letter she had tucked unread into the front pocket of the bag on the way to class that morning in the deceptive and short-lived sunshine that had prompted her to leave her umbrella in her room.
She examined the envelope, recognizing with a jolt the familiar script spelling out her name and address on the front. Even smeared with rain, his handwriting was lovely.
She stared at the envelope for a few minutes, considering it. It had been a long time since she had gotten a letter, or any correspondence at all. According to Alice, Edward had been working like crazy trying to get all the necessary recording done prior to touring, and doing extra work to save some money for the time he would be on tour. The last email she had gotten had just read "Working hard, miss you, E." That had been weeks ago, and she had not bothered to respond...at least not directly.
There was a long letter stashed in her desk that she had written the night she received that email. It had been the end of a long series of cold, frustrating, lonely days, when she wanted nothing more than to get on a plane and go home, and the terse email had sent her slightly over the edge. Several of her fellow students had attempted to lift her spirits with a few pints, but the alcohol had only served to make her more maudlin, and by the time she had gotten home she had been just tipsy enough to be utterly lacking in restraint, and had poured her feelings out onto paper. She had not sent the missive, and planned to destroy it at some point, although she had not yet managed to do so.
Bella opened the drawer in question and pulled out the letter. That night she had gone to far as to address an envelope and add postage, but fortunately the next morning she had thought better of it and instead of mailing it had shoved it into a drawer. She pulled the pages from the envelope and perused the words on the page. With every phrase she was more satisfied in her decision not to send it, particularly in light of Edward's recent reticence.
Dear Edward,
I miss you. It's cold here, and rainy, but I know I would not notice any of that nearly as much if you were here. I think back on the things I did and said to you and I can't begin to imagine why I threw away the best thing in my life. You have been my best friend as long as I can remember, and when given the opportunity to keep you forever, I not only let you go, I pushed you away, and now I feel like you are gone forever, and I can't stop being sorry.
It's not what I expected at all, being here alone. Maybe I thought I wanted independence, or I thought I wanted to experience life on my own, or I thought that being with you would somehow hold me back, but really, all it means is that I am here and you are there and that I ache for you all the time. I miss you. Its like I'm missing a limb, or worse, a torso. See, without you I have lost all creativity and I have to resort to cheesy quotes to express myself.
I told you a lot of lies, Edward, but one worse than all the others, I never wanted to see other people. There's never been anyone for me but you. I love you so much, and I want you to be happy. You deserve someone who can love you better than I can, and so I had to let you go. I never imagined that letting you go would feel so much like killing myself.
I wish I could go back and change things, Edward. If I could I would go back and never lie to you, never say or do anything to hurt you. I would have married you as soon as you asked. I can't decide which was the worst mistake - lying to you, or saying no when you wanted to get married, or not throwing myself at you years ago.
I like Shakespeare Edward, and I like the people here, but I love you, and none of it means anything without you. Parting is not sweet sorrow, it is just sorrow, full stop, and I wish I had never parted us.
I know you have probably moved on and you don't love me anymore, I can't imagine why you would, after all that I did. You have probably found someone much better than me who can love you the way you deserve to be loved. I hope you have, because I can't bear the thought of you being in pain because of what I did.
I love you, and I always will.
Bella
She closed her eyes against the tears that welled up in them. As overwrought as the letter might be, it was the raw truth.
She lay in the floor outside his door for hours, waiting to see if he would emerge. He never did. Sometime in the wee hours she managed to make her way into her room and she climbed into bed, curling herself around a pillow and trying to sleep. It proved impossible, however, as her thoughts would not stop whirling, replaying their fight and tormenting her.
By the time the pink light entering her window indicated the sun was rising, she had made a decision.
He needed to be with someone who could love him the way he deserved to be loved, and she clearly was not that girl.
She lay there in the dawning light, trying to work up the resolve to do what must be done. He would never do it, he was too kind. He would be better off with a clean break, a new start. She had done enough to hurt him, she would be strong enough to grant him this last kindness. She would let him go.
She thought for a moment that she wished she could go back to that morning just a few months ago and keep things from ever changing, but sobs welled up in her throat at the thought. She could not fathom the idea of not having experienced the last six months falling in love with her wonderful Edward.
Not mine anymore, she thought, and sat up. She pulled off the ring and stood to contemplate her reflection, considering how to best cover the evidence of the past night's storm on her face.
I've already cried enough, she thought, wiping the tears before they had a chance to fall and violently forcing them back. She looked again at his handwriting on the envelope before her, contemplating if she really wanted to read what was inside.
She was beginning to gingerly open the flap when a bang on her door made her jerk her head up. The door popped open the reveal a wide grin below a mop of overlong dark blond hair.
"Oy! Bella, there you are! Did you forget, we have a rehearsal five minutes ago?" Alec raised his eyebrows at her confused expression, and smiled even bigger at the dawning realization on her face.
"Shit! Sorry, I'm coming!" She scrabbled through the pile of books on the floor and located her copy of The Winter's Tale, then followed him out of the room.
****r~d****
Edward waved at the waitress as she passed near his table, but she ignored him. Again. He looked forlornly at the empty glass in front of him and was contemplating going up to the bar when another chair at the table scraped across the floor and Garrett, the vocalist and de facto leader of Poor Ornery People sat down across from him.
"Watcha doing sitting here all alone, Eddie boy?"
Edward scowled down at his empty glass. He hated being called Eddie, and Garrett knew it. He lifted his eyes to his bandmate and narrowed his eyes at the grin on Garrett's face. "Knitting a sweater," he replied, the sarcasm thick in his voice.
"Oooh, somebody's a cranky little monkey!' Garrett laughed at his joke, then looked at Edward curiously. "Did you just quote Center Stage to me?" He raised his eyebrows and began chuckling.
Edward couldn't help laughing at the realization that he had, in fact, quoted a ballet movie to his bandmate. "I guess I did. I'm amazed you recognized it though. Harboring a secret love for dance movies?"
"Hey man, you're the one who quoted it. Kate has a weird thing about that movie. I've been forced to watch it so many times that I actually kind of like it."
"Yeah, Bella was the same way." At the mention of her name, Edward's smile faded and he resumed contemplating his empty glass.
"You've gotta shake this off, Edward. She's gone. Move on."
The look on Bella's face when she entered the kitchen the morning after they returned from Forks ran through Edward like a knife. The makeup under her eyes did not quite conceal the dark circles, and she looked as if she could barely manage to walk upright. She met his eyes and attempted a smile, but it fell as soon as it appeared, and she turned away. She poured coffee into a mug and was nearly out of the room when Edward spoke.
"There's toast...I mean, I made toast, if you want some...you should eat something, coffee on an empty stomach always makes your stomach hurt."
Bella stood in the doorway, her back to him, her shoulders slumped. She did not reply.
"Please? Come eat with me?"
She took a deep breath, and Edward was certain she would continue out into the apartment, but instead she turned and came back to the table and sat down across from him. He picked a piece of toast up off his plate and set it on the empty one in front of her.
"That's yours," she protested, her voice flat.
Before she could get up, Edward stood. "It's alright, I made more." As if on cue, two pieces of bread popped up from the toaster on the counter. Edward pulled them out and put them on the table, one on his plate, and one on a Bella's, then he sat down again and stealthily watched her as she spread jam over her toast. She picked it up to take a bite, but seemed to lose her motivation when it was halfway to her mouth. She set it back onto her plate with a sigh.
"Bella, about last night..." Edward trailed off as Bella looked up at him.
"I don't want to talk about it," she said, dropping her eyes back to the uneaten food on her plate.
"I think we have to. You don't have to talk, but do you think you can listen?" Bella hesitated, then nodded in acquiescence.
"Bella, I'm sorry. I overreacted. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."
Bella continued to toy with her toast. Edward continued.
"I was upset...I am still upset, and I don't understand why you lied to me about London, but I should have handled things differently. It's not an excuse, but I was really stressed about my mom, and..." Edward fell silent. "Maybe I do need you to say something."
"What do you want me to say, Edward? I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry I lied to you, I'm sorry I couldn't do what you wanted me to do, I'm sorry I couldn't be who you wanted me to be..." Bella closed her mouth tightly. Edward sat quietly, unsure what to say in response to her outburst.
Bella reached into her pocket. "I should give this back." She held out her hand, the glittering ring resting in her palm. Edward looked at her, pain evident on his face.
"I'm not saying I don't want to marry you...I do...but a year is a long time, and...well, we don't know what's going to happen. I would be sick if anything happened to it while I was gone. And maybe..."
"Maybe what, Bella?"
"Maybe we should just see...if there is someone else out there."
"Is that what you want?"
Bella hesitated for a moment, and Edward felt a sudden surge of hope. It was gone in the next moment, as she took a deep breath and replied. "Yes. You need to move on."
Edward's body rebelled at her words, and he thought for a moment he was going to lose his toast. He couldn't bring himself to reply to her statement, so instead he tried to close her hand and push it back towards her. "Bella, you don't have to do that. The ring's yours. I want you to keep it."
"Please, just take it back."
Edward reached his hand towards her, and she tipped her palm to drop the ring into it. He grabbed her hand, enclosing it tightly in his.
"I'm angry, Bella, and everything isn't ok, but I love you. I want to marry you."
Bella pulled her hand away from his. "I know." She turned and left the room.
"I know she's gone. I was there, for fuck's sake."
"Calm down, dude." Garrett gestured to the waitress, and asked her to bring them both a beer. "I know you were there. But you've got to stop sulking like a toddler. You've got a good thing happening here, and you are going to wreck it if you don't get a grip."
Edward looked at his friend with raised eyebrows. "What, you guys are going to kick me out if I can't be Mr. Sunshine all the time?"
"No way man, you're the best pianist we've ever had. I'm talking about other stuff. Life! There are plenty of other girls out there, and you keep pouting and sulking over the one that walked away. It's been months. Move on. Have some fun. Have you gone out with anyone else yet? Hell, have you even talked to another girl?"
"Who am I supposed to ask? I've spent the last three months working my ass off the same as you. The only reason you still have Kate is because she manages the band."
"And she's married to me, don't forget that part." Garrett laughed and Edward tried not to react to the word married. He sat in silence for a few minutes, concentrating on his empty glass. He looked up at Garrett with a serious expression.
"How did you know?"
"How did I know what?"
"With Kate? How did you know she was worth it? All the drama and bullshit?"
Garrett chuckled. "Kate's pretty drama-free, to tell the truth. When I met her, I just knew." He accepted the beers the waitress delivered to the table, then continued. "I knew that she was the one. She, on the other hand..." Garrett laughed. "She thought I was an ass. She was probably right. At first, I pushed way to hard, tried to move too fast. There's a line from that movie, When Harry Met Sally - 'once you figure out you want to send the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.' I wanted the rest of my life to start right then. The problem was, she hadn't figured it out yet, and I very nearly scared her off. The trick, I learned, was to just love her and wait until her heart caught up with mine."
Edward cocked an eyebrow at his friend. "You sure quote a lot of chick movies," he observed.
Garrett laughed again. "Hey, I hang out a lot with a really awesome chick. She can quote her fair share of guy movies too."
"Who's this awesome chick you've been hanging out with? Do I need to send someone to sleep with the fishes?" With these words, Kate appeared and sat down next to Garrett. Her mock scowl elicited another chuckle from her husband.
"Nope," he replied, swinging an arm around her, "the only fish she'll be sleeping with is me."
Edward looked at the two of them, a bemused expression on his face. "That's either the sweetest or grossest thing I have heard today. Possibly both."
Now it was Kate's turn to laugh. "What are you guys talking about? Besides me, obviously." She swept her hair over her shoulder dramatically, assuming a mock haughty look.
"Girls. Specifically, Edward's inability to keep one." Edward scowled at the two of them.
"Oh, poor Edward! You know..." Kate trailed off, smirking.
"What do I know?" Edward asked.
"I don't know if I should tell you. Are you still hung up on that other girl? The one you've been pouting over for the past three months?"
"I have not been pouting," Edward huffed. Then, at the expressions on both if their faces, he chuckled mirthlessly. "Ok, Maybe I've been pouting a little."
"Exactly." Kate turned to her husband. "Should I tell him?"
Garrett tapped his fingers on his chin, pretending to ponder Kate's question. "I don't know sweetpea, do you think he can handle it?"
"I don't know," she replied, looking over at Edward. "Can you handle it, Eddie?" Her lips twitched as Edward glared back at her.
"Ok, ok, we'll stop." Kate leaned over and spoke more quietly. "I happen to be privy to some information you might find interesting. If you are done pouting, that is."
Edward sighed. "Are you going to tell me, or not?"
Kate looked pointedly towards the bar. Edward followed the direction of her gaze to see a girl seated on one of the stools. Her red curls made a halo around her face, and in the light from the bar, it appeared to almost glow. Edward took in her appearance, from the lush curves barely disguised under a black sleeveless shirt to the long legs emerging from beneath her short denim skirt. She was laughing with the bartender, a loud, oddly musical laugh.
"Makenna?" Edward's voice sounded skeptical.
"Makenna. If you would pull your head out of your oh-poor-me haze for five seconds, you would know that she's totally into you."
"Really?" Edward had never really considered Makenna as anything but a bandmate. He didn't know much about her beyond the fact that she was one of the best violinists he had ever encountered, and that from everything he had seen she was as opposite of Bella as he could imagine. Bella was petite, while Makenna was tall and statuesque. Bella was retiring; Makenna was one of the most outgoing people Edward had ever met and somehow managed to be the center of attention wherever she went. She wasn't conventionally beautiful, with her bright hair and freckled skin, but he had to admit to herself that she was a very attractive woman. Hot, even.
"Really. Try talking to her, you'll see." Kate smirked at Edward as he contemplated the girl across the room, and her smirk broadened to a grin when Edward stood up and shrugged, as if to say "Why not?"
Maybe they're right. Maybe I've mourned long enough.
****r~d****
The rehearsal was not going well. Bella's head was aching, and kept stumbling over Perdita's lines. After her fourth attempt to deliver a particularly difficult line, the director called for a break.
"Bella." Jane's eyes were narrow. "What exactly is your problem? We have to do this scene in class in a few days. You act like you've never seen the play before. Hell, you sound like you've never seen the English language before."
Jane was never particularly nice, but in this case, Bella had to admit she was right.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, get it right. Go get your shit together and come back ready to work."
Bella turned and walked into the hallway outside the lounge where her group was practicing. She sank down onto the floor and laid her head on her knees, taking several deep breaths in an attempt to quiet her mind.
What is my problem?
If she was honest with herself, she knew what her problem was. According to Alice's latest email, Edward was leaving to go on tour in two weeks, just after Thanksgiving. Between that news and the letter from him that had shown up that morning, she had been unsuccessful all day at blocking thoughts of him from her mind. She took another breath and tried to focus. She wasn't going to feel any better if her whole group was mad at her.
Bella, you about ready to come back?" Alec had appeared in the hallway, and at the look on her face, he turned briefly back into the room where the others were waiting. "We'll be a minute yet," Bella heard him speak into the room. " Keep y'knickers on, Jane, I reckon she'll be alright in a bit." He came to sit on the floor across from Bella, and kicked her feet with one of his.
"I should go back in there," Bella said, but she made no attempt to get up.
"Never mind Jane, she's a right bitch. She can wait a bit." Alec grinned ruefully at Bella and raised his eyebrows so that they disappeared below his long hair. "You want to talk about it?"
"I hate that I got stuck with this play," she replied, shaking her head. "Stupid romantic comedy. I should be doing Coriolanus or King Lear or something."
"King Lear? He was one self-destructive bastard." The corner of Alec's mouth quirked up at her. " "Surely it can't be that bad."
Bella sighed. "It's that bad"
"Well lass, the way I see it, you have two options - either you skip out on the rest of rehearsal and Jane cuts you up to eat for breakfast tomorrow-"
"Or kills me in my sleep."
Alec laughed "Or that - or you get through the next hour and then I'll take you out and buy you a pint and we'll see about changing you back from a cranky old man to a lovely sherpherdess. And you know..." Alec's lips twitched as he gazed at her "...if you're really scared of Jane, you can always come in and sleep with me. I'd take good care of you, and that's a promise." He smiled broadly across the hallway at her.
Bella sat and pretended to ponder Alec's words. "As fun as it would be to be Jane's breakfast tomorrow, getting cut up sounds unpleasant. I choose option B." She couldn't help returning Alec's grin as he reached for her hands. "As for sleeping with you...I don't know if I'm quite brave enough for that yet." She smiled back at him as they pulled each other up from the floor. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, holding her tight for a moment. Then he opened the door for her, laying his hand gently on her back to lead her into the room.
Bella managed to focus for the rest of the rehearsal, and if it wasn't her best performance ever, at least she managed to avoid any more of Jane's wrath. Afterwards, true to his promise, Alec took her down the street to the George and Dragon, an establishment that Alec had described as the "most British of all British pubs" and a favorite of many of the students at the university. They ordered spiced beef sandwiches and chips, and talked genially about their classmates until their food was mostly consumed. Finally Alec put down his glass and looked across the table at her seriously.
"Alright love. I've given you plenty of time, I've bought you food, now out with it."
"Out with what?" Bella's tone was light, but she resolutely would not meet his eyes.
"Whatever it is that had you weeping in the hallway today and nearly made Jane take your head off."
"I was not crying in the hallway!" Bella protested.
"Calm down, love. Will you please just tell me what's wrong? A sad tale's best for winter, after all.
"I have one of sprites and goblins," she replied, completing the now-familiar line from A Winter's Tale.
He did not hesitate to reply. "Let's have that, good sir. Come on, sit down: come on, and do your best to fright me with your sprites; you're powerful at it."
She smiled at his banter, but remained silent.
"Come on, tell Uncle Alec all about it, and then let him kiss it and make it better." He wagged his eyebrows at her suggestively, making Bella snort.
"You do realize that's completely disgusting, right? I do not make it a habit of letting my uncles kiss anything, better or no."
Alec heaved a deep sigh. "Alright then, if you insist...tell disconcertingly handsome, desirable, and entirely unrelated to you Alec all about it, and then he can kiss it and make it better. How's that?"
"You seem awfully confident about that whole kissing thing, you know." Bella fought to suppress a smile at his words.
"Ah, but no one can resist my kisses, love. I don't need confidence, I just know." He gave her his best grin, and she laughed.
"Now," he said, in a much more serious tone, "tell me what happened to dim the light in your eyes."
"You won't like it," Bella replied, stalling. Alec did not reply, he just raised his eyebrows at her. "Ok, ok. I got a letter. From him."
Alec's expression remained carefully blank. "And what did he say to upset you so?"
"I don't know yet, I was about to open it when you came to get me for rehearsal." Bella looked down at the table, absently toying with her napkin.
"So you don't know what it says?"
"Nope."
"So why the dramatics?"
"It's just frustrating. I don't know what he wants...I am trying to move on, and he hasn't written so much as an email in weeks, and I get a letter? It threw me." Bella sighed. The way we left things...it wasn't good. I am surprised I hear from him at all.
"Just one more."
Bella dropped a suitcase next to the front door and returned to her room. Although her words were directed at Edward, he did not look at her. She heard the local news on the TV in the living room as she re-entered in time to hear the "Today in History" segment. After reading several historical events, the blond anchor of the show turned to her co-host. "One last one Jim - it was 6 months ago today that Seattle was hit by the worst snowstorm in the history of the Northwest. On a hot day like today, it's hard to believe how much snow we got that night. I remember -"
Edward turned the TV off, hitting the power button so hard that the set toppled slightly.
Bella hesitated at the look on his face as he glared at the tv, and slowly emerged once again from her room, carrying a large bag with its strap across her body. "That's it," she said, not meeting Edward's eyes. "I'm ready."
Wordlessly, Edward picked up his keys and two of Bella's bags. She carried the remainder as they walked silently down the stairs to Edward's car. It wasn't until he was pulling out of the garage into the street that she spoke.
"That was fun last night, wasn't it? It was nice of Alice to throw us a going away party."
"Mmm-hmm."
"Could you believe those terrible English accents Jacob and Emmett tried to do all night?" The cheerfulness in Bella's voice was clearly forced.
"Yeah, they were pretty bad."
Bella made a few more efforts to engage Edward in conversation, but after several of his terse replies, she fell silent again. Edward reached over and turned on the radio in an attempt to fill the void.
They walked through the airport side by side in silence. Bella had been surprised when Edward had pulled a suitcase of his own out of his car. He had explained, in the briefest of terms, that he had to got to New York for "work stufff" and that his flight left just a few hours after hers. She wasn't sure how to process this revelation - she had planned on saying goodbye to him at security and then having some time alone in the terminal. She had been counting on that time to attempt to clear her mind and process the events of the past few days before she was stuck on a plane for hours surrounded by strangers. She hoped she didn't seem annoyed; she didn't want to hurt him any more than she already had. She tried desperately not to notice how tightly he gripped the handles of the bags he carried, or the straight white line of his lips. He was clearly angry, and she had wondered why he had even bothered to volunteer to take her. Now it made more sense. She had done her best to stay out of his way over the past few weeks, making excuses to be away from the apartment, calling people she barely spoke to for coffee dates, but clearly it had not been enough.
They sat side by side in uncomfortable orange molded plastic chairs, watching the minutes tick by on the large clock over the airline counter. Bella's desperation grew as the hands moved. She had to get away...she could not bear to leave. They both tried a few times to talk - he asked about her classes, she about the guys in the band and the cities they would be visiting on tour, but the conversations were stillborn. Increasingly, four words whirled through Bella's mind, again and again. Four impossible words.
Ask me to stay. Ask me to stay. Please, please, ask me to stay.
He didn't ask. Her flight was finally called, and she gathered her things to board. She swallowed hard. There was no indication of tears on Edward's face - no indication of any emotion at all - and she'd be damned if she was going to cry when he didn't.
She gathered her carryon and messenger bag and chanced a look at him. His face was tight. "Well..bye."
"Bye." He did not look at her.
She had gone a few steps when she felt a hand grip her arm, so tightly that she cried out, but the sound disappeared under the force of his mouth on hers. They had kissed a thousand times, and never had she felt this level of desperation from him. After a few minutes he pulled away and bent to whisper in her ear.
"G'bye Bella. I hope you find everything you are looking for."
Then he was gone, and she turned, dazed, and headed for the plane.
She didn't cry. She had already cried enough.
"Bella? Love?" She was pulled out of her reverie by Alec's words and the feel of his hand caressing hers where it lay on the table. She smiled sadly at his concerned face. "Where did you go?"
She shook her head, trying to clear the memory that had overcome her. "Nowhere. It doesn't matter. Can we get out of here? Let's go watch a movie in the lounge or something."
"Sure love." Alec lay several bills on the table, and took her hand to pull her up from her seat. He wrapped an arm around her waist and guided her out into the street.
Several hours later, Bella returned to her room and saw the incriminating envelope she had begun to open earlier laying where she had left it. Quietly, so that she did not disturb Jane where she slept across the room, she tore open the envelope and reached inside. She found, not a letter as she expected, but only a newspaper clipping featuring a story about Poor Ornery People and their upcoming tour.
Bella dropped onto her bed, her hands shaking. She didn't know whether she was disappointed or relieved - the only thing she knew for sure was that she was very thankful she had never sent the letter she wrote all those weeks ago.
She never the saw the note lying on her desk.
B-
Sorry I was such a hag earlier. Took your letter to drop in the post with mine. Feel better.
-Jane
****r~d****
I am so sorry for the long wait! The past several months have been beyond insane and unfortunately other things had to take priority. The good news is that the next chapter is almost finished, and the rest of the story is mapped out, so barring any other craziness, it should never happen again.
Thank you all so much for all of the follows and favorites and reviews – every email makes my day!
Thanks for reading!