Hey, I'm back with another chapter. I'm posting this real quick because I have to head out into town tonight and won't get back till probably 8:00-ish...? Anyhow, this chapter is sort of the aftermath of what happened in chapter 17. Enjoy!

I do not own Pandora Hearts in any way

Chapter 18: Through All The Tears

I leaned up against the doorway of Leo's room, breathing deeply, comprehending the events of earlier. It was as if it had all been a dream, but I knew it wasn't. I've never been this way, how I begged for him to return to me, how I could of shown emotions like that. I never knew I could be that broken, and yet I was right now, as was Leo. We both were broken right now.

For some reason, I don't know how it's possible, but a fragment of Glen Baskerville awoke within him. He'd then summoned his Chain, Jabberwock against me, which made me summon my Chain, Raven. Luckily, nether of us were hurt (well except for one chain the grazed my arm and scratched my face), but after Leo returned to normal, he fainted in my arms. I had no choice but to carry him back to the house, which made my shoulder ache afterwards.

I gazed at Leo, silently sleeping in his bed, his face peaceful and obviously in a deep sleep. I had placed his glasses on the nightstand, otherwise he might freak when he wakes up. (those glasses were important to him) He was fine now, but I wasn't sure how long he'd be asleep. Just looking at him, I thought back to a song I heard long ago.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't. I ran to the balcony and said it there.

"Dammit!"

Sasha came home later. I heard her sigh and I knew that she found I turned the woodstove on. I didn't really care what she said to me at this point.

The door to my room was open, and Sasha found me imminently.

"Carrie, are you alright? I heard something happened at the park in Reveil, but I didn't get any other details besides that." She walked in and pushed the door closed behind her, but it still remained open a bit. I didn't look at her, only to the bedding of my bed. She gasped suddenly though, most likely from my bandaged arm and the cut on my face.

"Carrie, what the hell happened? Are you hurt?" She started examining my arm and it annoyed me. In effect, I slapped her hand away.

"Stop it!" I hissed. "I'm perfectly fine."

Sasha wasn't convinced. My injuries were minor, but she knew I was troubled emotionally. She took my hand and looked directly into my eyes.

"What's wrong?"

I gulped and slowly formed a name. "Leo."

When I opened my eyes, I found that I was back in my room at Carrie's house, still wearing the same clothes from before. There was a small lamp nearby that gave a little light to the room and the curtains were closed. My glasses were on the nightstand and I picked them up, gazing at the surface. Carrie had once said they were like one-way glasses through which I could see, but she couldn't see my eyes.

Wait, Carrie!

I remembered something, like an intense pounding in my head and a familiar voice. Then I blacked out, isolated in a black oblivion. When I came back, only for a second, I realized what had happened (somewhat) and saw Carrie looking at me, concern written across her face. I think I said her name, and then that was the last thing I remember.

I sat up in bed, surprised at how much my body ached. The door was slightly open, and I felt a slight curiosity, but fear at the same time. I wanted to go find Carrie, apologize for all this. For that long time, when I was in the empty silence, I now knew that the person who resided in me had taken control. I briefly knew this had happened back in my time, although, it wasn't exactly caused by that person, instead done by my own hand, and I wanted to apologize for that happening here. Back then, I never meant to.

Slowly, I got out of bed and walked over to the door. I carefully opened it and looked down the hall, knowing her room was down that way. My steps were staggered, but I still looked around, looking for her face.

"Leo." I heard someone say as I walked by a door. Carrie? Had she called my name?

"Leo? Did something happen between you and him?" No, she hadn't called my name. She was talking to her sister. I went back to the door and looked inside. The door was open a little, but I could still see inside. Carrie was sitting on her bed, Sasha was there also.

"He...it's..." Tears began to slide down her cheeks and she flopped down on her bed, breaking out into sobs.

"Carrie." Sasha said softly.

"Do you know what happened to Leo a few days after Elliot's death 200 years ago?"

"No. Not really."

"He went mad." Her answer was so simple, but choked with sorrow.

"Like Mad Hatter mad?"

"No, it was worse." She cried out once more. "He lashed out at Oz Vessalius with that insane Chain, Jabberwock. Today, history repeated itself."

"Wait, you saw Jabberwock?" Sasha sounded as if she was unable to believe it.

"Yes."

"What was it like?"

Carrie glared at her sister with extreme annoyance. "Terrifying, dark, malevolent, insane. Just as the records say, all those things in that black creature. It's hard to grasp that its actually a bird-like Chain."

"So, by history repeating itself...oh, I see." Sasha said, finally realizing what Carrie meant. "Is he alright?"

"Yeah, back to normal, I managed to snap him out of it. He's sleeping right now."

She buried her head back in her sheets as Sasha put a hand on her back. I barley remembered that day she was talking about, but I knew what she said was true. Back then, I wasn't sure what I'd been thinking, but I think for that one moment, my own madness and guilt consumed me.

"I...I don't understand. Why?" She cried out. "Why, after all this time? Why was there a fragment left inside him?"

"No one could of known, Carrie." Sasha said, trying to calm her down.

"But...I just want to protect him!"

My heart nearly stopped when I heard her shout this. She wanted to...protect me? When she brought me to the hospital the day we met, when she stood up for me when those boys bullied her about us, when she comforted me when I broke down and cried, and when she came after me when I'd been taken, acidently summoning Raven in the process...it was so clear! All those times, it was all for me. She truly did care.

"It's like in that song by Hammock, he threw himself away. But, I won't let him fall into madness again! I won't let it happen like it did back in his time. Never again!" She proclaimed. "I know he feels guilty about what happened to Elliot, our ancestor and his master, but I know he'll be able to overcome it."

"If there was a way, I know you would do it, because that's who you are."

"I...I would." She sounded sleepy. "All for...Leo, my dear...friend."

With that, I assume she fell asleep. I looked at her one last time, looked at her tear filled face, her slightly messy beige hair, before I walked away, her words still resounding through me.

'But...I just want to protect him!'

The flames of the woodstove danced playfully, and I watched them through my glasses. A crackling and flicker of the flames. How bright they seemed to glow, sending their light and shadow across the room. As dazzling as they were, they could also be the flames of battle. How quickly things could change.

"Hey, I thought Carrie said you were sleeping." I turned my head to see Sasha standing a few feet away from me. "Is it really a good idea for you to be up and about?"

"I don't really know anymore." I muttered, turning back to the fire.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean I can't understand anything." I sighed, closing my eyes and laying back on the couch. "If you know, then, I don't really know if I can trust myself."

"Leo, you can't possibly-"

"I can't, Sahsa!" I snapped. "Back then, before I found myself in this time, I died. I knew that when I first woke up in the Abyss. Here, I thought all the sufferings I had to endure were over. I thought those lights were gone, the voices no more, that person who dwelt within me was gone; I guess I was wrong. I can still see them, I heard that voice in Reveil, I'm still contracted to Jabberwock, and that person is still there. How could I trust myself anymore?"

I heard Sasha sigh and I opened my eyes to see her looking at me with a light smile. "Leo, I can't possibly know what you're feeling right now, but I can assure you, I still think you're fine the way you are, no mater what's happened."

I thought about her words, and yet, I still couldn't accept them. "Thanks."

She then sat down in a chair next to me and stared off into the fire also. "So...what do you think of my sister?"

Okay, that caught me off guard. She had changed the subject and was now asking me about Carrie? What was this, some kind of mind game?

"She's, um, very kind and agile." I answered, a blush spreading across my face.

"I see." She stretched her legs and leaned back in the chair. "Well, I'm just telling you now, she used to be such a sad girl."

"Huh?" It's kind of hard to believe that Carrie would ever be sad in any way. Then again, it's not impossible, since I just saw her crying her eyes out.

"You see, back about five years ago, she would paint things people saw as dark and depressing." Sasha explained. "And the things she would write, just to describe fascination to the records and dreams, people in her school viewed her as insane. When our parents died and when she developed a likening towards steam punk culture, she was only viewed more dark in their eyes. She didn't really have any friends, she was just a lonely girl. But, things changed one day when she did something valiant."

"What would that be, Sasha?"

"One of her friends was trapped in a fire, and she risked her life to save them. She said it was because she wasn't about to lose anything else. From that day on, she became more likeable, and she helps out around town a lot."

'That's the Carrie I know.' I thought to myself, smiling.

"She is really kind. I like seeing her laugh, I hate seeing her cry. I owe her so much for saving my life the day we met, and I don't know what would of happened to me if we never met." I said to Sasha, my feelings just automatically pouring out. "I know she looks a lot like Elliot, but that isn't the reason I'm glad she's my friend. It's because of who she really is. I wouldn't make any mistake if I had to save her from any trouble, and I want to help her find out the secrets of the past. In one way or another, I'm starting to believe that we're both tied to the Tragety of Sablier; I'll help her find those answers"

What was I saying? I've never even said this to Carrie, and yet I was telling her sister. Still, I didn't have an idea as to why I was letting my thoughts flow like this.

"You know, Carrie would lay down her life for you." I looked back at Sasha, a light smile on her face. "She'll do very well to protect her self, but she'll fight for anyone she cares about. You may not have noticed, but she thinks very fondly of you. She wants to protect you. If you ever feel down, you could talk to her, she'll listen."

"She will? Heh, just like Elliot." I sighed.

"Elliot Nightray was your master in your time, right?" She asked. "What was he like?"

I thought this over, every moment I'd spent with Elliot. "Well, he's hot headed, and doesn't really listen well to others, oh, and even if he seems smart, he's still an idiot. However, he wouldn't hesitate to protect me or the people he cares about. I think Carrie inherited his personality too."

"Some of that anyway." We both shared a laugh, then she got up from the chair. "Well, think about what we've both said, okay? I'm going to bed and so should you."

As soon as she left, I looked back at the flickering flames of the fire, I thought about all the things I said, and my current friendship with Carrie. Just for a moment though, among the flames, I thought I saw her smiling face.

Good ending. Gotta leave now, but you'll see more tomorrow! Feel free to review, as always. (Gosh, I know I'm repetative.)