controlling my feelings for too long..
and forcing my darkest souls to unfold…
and pushing us into self-destruction..
and they make me; make me dream your dreams…
and they make me; make me scream your screams..
~Showbiz by Muse
vii. please don't tempt me
Fleur and friends walked together to the opening in the forest that morning before their first Care of Magical Creatures lesson with Hagrid. She was paying more attention to her footing more than anything, careful to not dig her heels too deep into the soft ground.
She stroked the spine of her unruly book and opened to page forty-nine as Hagrid asked, noticing her friends follow suit with frowns on their faces. Fleur herself wasn't very fond of the books, or the incessant chatter from everyone else, and her friends seemed to agree while they stood in a group away from most of the class.
"Don't be such a wimp, Longbottom," Draco spat at Neville who seemed to be having a hard time with his book. Most of the class laughed at the poor boy.
"I think they're funny," Fleur heard Hermione comment to Harry and Ron on their side of the class.
"Oh yeah, terribly funny!" Draco chided. Hermione whipped around and tried to look intimidating, but Draco didn't seem to be affected while he snarled right back at her. "Really witty. God this place's gone to the dumps! Wait 'til my father hears that Dumbledore's got this oaf teaching classes!"
Crabbe and Goyle guffawed while Draco sneered and motioned encouragingly with his head in Fleur's direction, but she merely crossed her arms and looked elsewhere. The rest of her friends laughed loudly with Draco and made low ooh sounds when Harry decided to step forward. The entire class watched the exchange with interest.
"Shut up, Malfoy," he glowered.
Draco bounced back from Fleur ignoring him and smirked while he casually dumped his bag to Crabbe and swaggered forward to meet Harry. Fleur nearly whipped her head around herself from Draco's false exclamation, and she felt extreme irritation that the boy was being so insensitive to her with his joke.
"Dementor, Dementor!" Draco cried, pointing behind the Gryffindors. They all turned around fearfully, only to be rewarded with the sight of trees and Earth. Fleur folded her arms and felt her eyebrows crease in annoyance from the Slytherins' laughter and all of the Gryffindors frowned and scowled at the emerald-crested students.
Hermione dragged her friend away from Draco and everyone else cackling with their hoods over their heads, making ridiculous ghost-like noises and stupid gestures with their hands in their direction. The look Hermione was giving Fleur once she and Harry were back on the 'Gryffindor side' of the class was one of disgust, as if she were expecting her to do something about her idiotic friends.
Before Hermione could scowl her face off anymore from the Slytherin cackles and Fleur's obvious unconcern about her expressions, Hagrid coughed loudly and cleared his throat, motioning towards their subject of study for the lesson. The winged creature immediately gained everyone's attention and held its head high, flapping its wings about proudly.
"Isn' he beautiful?" Hagrid beamed to the class. Draco grimaced and Hermione managed a small smile while Hagrid fed the creature a dead ferret. "Say hello to Buckbeak!"
"Hagrid…" Ron began carefully, "exactly wha' is that?"
"Tha', Ron, is a hippogriff. First thing you wanna know about hippogriffs is that they're proud creatures. Very easily offended. You do not wan' to insul' a hippogriff. It may jus' be tha las' thing you ever do. Now!" Hagrid clapped his hands expectantly and turned to Buckbeak, smiling broadly. "Who'd like teh come 'n say 'ello?"
Harry, who was clearly very enraptured with the creature, merely stood rooted to the spot while the rest of the class except for Fleur backed away. The two were suddenly at the fore of the lot, and neither of them noticed. Harry was still dealing with his own shocked amazements and Fleur had started observing her nails, arms still folded over her chest.
"Fleur, Harry! Well done you two, well done! But I only need one for tha momen'. Which of you'd like teh go firs'?" Hagrid asked happily, completely thrilled that his two prospective best students were so eager to participate.
"Uh…" Harry began uncertainly. Ron tried to push him forward, but Harry shook his head and stammered back. "Fleur can go…" Hermione shot Fleur a venomous look when Hagrid beamed and nodded to the quarter Veela while everyone else looked at her expectantly. Draco looked rather perplexed, however.
"All righ', Harry. Fleur, tha' okay with you?"
Fleur unfolded her arms and merely shrugged, giving her nails one last look over before Hagrid ushered her forward. Hermione's intense gaze faltered somewhat, actually showing a bit of concern for her supposed rival while Fleur walked confidently to Buckbeak, a safe distance away, her black robes billowing at her feet. The rest of the class looked on with interest while Fleur recalled what she'd read about hippogriffs.
Before Hagrid could say anything, Fleur kept her gaze on Buckbeak's face while she bowed deeply to get the creature's attention. Hagrid smiled approvingly at Fleur's learned grace and her attitude about the subject. She stood at a ninety degree angle, completely still, fringes shimmering in the bit of sunlight peeking through the woods and shielding one eye invitingly while she bored her eyes into Buckbeak's territorially curious ones.
The hippogriff seemed stilled by the calmness, or coldness in Fleur's gaze. Most of the Gryffindors and Slytherins behind her where whispering excitedly, completely amazed by how composed Fleur was. They'd all heard about her encounter with the Dementor on the train, and some were murmuring amongst each other about that. Draco blanched and felt a knot in his stomach while Blaise coughed indiscreetly and elbowed him lightly. Hermione, too, paled upon the recollection. Fleur nor Hagrid seemed to be able to hear the whispers, however.
Buckbeak finally faced Fleur completely and put one claw forward before gracefully bringing his wings in and bowing courteously to his newest friend. The rest of the class continued to watch, eyes widening impressively while Hagrid smiled broadly and fed Buckbeak another dead ferret.
"Well done, Fleur!" Hagrid nodded to her while Buckbeak ate his treat and Fleur stood and regained her poise, licking her lips while she watched the silver-feathered creature devour the animal. "Righ'. I think you can go 'n pat 'im now."
Fleur pursed her lips; she had no idea where the thing had been and really wasn't all that keen on finding out. However, she'd done this much so she decided to go all the way. She treaded carefully over to Buckbeak, more mindful of her heels not sinking in the ground than anything. Once she'd walked a reasonable distance, she held her hand out and slowed down. She could practically hear everyone holding their breaths in anticipation while she stopped, waiting for Buckbeak to come to her.
Buckbeak seemed intrigued by her nails while he bowed his head slightly and observed them. He walked slowly over to Fleur, and Fleur made more careful steps towards him, the two finally closing the distance between them while Fleur placed a hand over his beak. Buckbeak crooned delightedly while Hagrid and the rest of the class, even Hermione, clapped in relief and cheered.
Fleur allowed herself a smile, feeling a slight change in her own demeanour. Hagrid traipsed over to the two while the class settled down, Fleur finally starting to feel in her element while she continued to pet Buckbeak.
"I think 'e may let yeh ride 'im now," Hagrid declared nicely while he got closer to Fleur.
Draco widened his eyes, admonishing Hagrid for suddenly picking Fleur up by the waist and settling her right at Buckbeak's wing joint. Fleur was unperturbed by the motion, unlike Buckbeak who squawked in protest from the sudden weight. The proud creature tried to adjust to the weight while Hagrid walked behind Buckbeak, warning Fleur to not pull out his feathers while she took a deep breath, completely forgetting that she was still smiling. When the Gamekeeper slapped Buckbeak's behind to get him going, Hermione and Draco took note of this more than anyone else in the class did.
Fleur bit her lip excitedly and kept her grip on Buckbeak while he lifted his torso and claws in protest to the pain, prancing forward soon after and building speed at an alarming rate while the rest of the class walked after the two in vain. More and more sunlight began shimmering on them both, dazzling Buckbeak's feathers and Fleur's sheet of hair nicely while it flew behind her.
Dust blew in their wake, Fleur's robes billowed behind her comfortably, and a pleasurable surge of adrenaline built inside of the Slytherin. A strange, wonderful feeling that she'd never felt before consumed her right when Buckbeak finally extended his gorgeous wings and began to take off to the skies.
The excited cheers of her classmates slowly echoed into nothingness while she and Buckbeak were sent soaring, first just above the trees of the woods and edging higher and higher right over the castle. The feeling of the wind almost pampering her face and the thrill of such heights below her made Fleur smile broadly for the first time in years.
Two even rows of sparkling whites greeted the morning skies while she nearly felt the muscles on her face burn. Hearing Buckbeak's wings flap at her sides, holding on to his warm feathers and neck, and seeing Hogwarts from such a perspective was invigorating. They flew in between towers, over the roof, higher and higher so that Fleur could see the bright silvery expanse leading out to the Scottish lakes with ease.
Heavy clouds and peeking rays of sunlight were her only limits while Buckbeak led them higher above the greenery and the castle. Fleur nearly felt all of her worries and troubles left behind on the ground; she never thought such a feat to be possible. Feeling happier than she'd ever felt in years was yet another impossibility to her just moments ago.
She was astounded at the beauty of the grounds that she'd never noticed before, most especially not until Buckbeak began to fly out to the shimmering lake and down closer to the surface. The sheer largesse of everything surrounding her was simply remarkable; even hearing Buckbeak's claws drag about on the surface of the water made her grin even more.
Fleur felt powerful in the air; she felt in control, even if Buckbeak was guiding them. Seeing their reflection in the water while she sat upright to achieve maximum thrill was eye-opening. There was a whole world in her own surroundings that she'd never experienced before. Being confined to the ground for her sixteen long years secluded her; the air was where she belonged. An escape, a safe haven, a sanctuary; she found it all in this unknown source of pleasure that had been surrounding her for years.
And while they continued to pass over the surface, the greens and greys and rays of sun heavenly poking through the clouds, Fleur finally let go of her forced control over herself. Her mind was free, her hope for life renewed, and her joy was overwhelming her so much that it hurt. Fleur actually let loose and hollered as loud as she could, empowered by her release, and laughed to the winds as loud as she could. It was like flipping the world off and showing the skies that she could be happy. She was showing the world that she could bounce back, even after all that had happened to her, and finally feel for the first time in years…
But she was sorely disappointed when Buckbeak began to gain altitude again and turn back in the direction whence they came. It ended far too soon, really. Still, Fleur enjoyed the ride while she could and sighed in relief while the adrenaline began to leave her as Buckbeak circled the trees in the woods and found an opening in which to go through to begin landing.
Buckbeak finally started to lose momentum and leaned back while he flapped his wings to stop himself just before he touched ground, Fleur's ears actually warming up to the class cheering and praising her performance while she and her new companion pranced away to come to a stop. Hagrid beamed and boasted his praise to the both of them, Hermione even adorning a small smile while she clapped politely as the large man went over to Fleur and Buckbeak to help the Slytherin off.
Draco was feeling very sour, noticing Hermione who was clearly impressed, and snorted while he went over to Buckbeak. Hagrid was facing away from him while he set Fleur back on safe ground, the quarter Veela missing the air dearly while she regained her posture and smoothed her robes and hair. She felt her winning smile relax while her excitement deflated, neither she nor Hagrid noticing what her blond companion was up to.
"Well done, Fleur," Hagrid whispered to her while she smiled lazily up at him. "How'm I doin' on me firs' day?"
"Wonderful, really," Fleur said, her voice lilting subtly enough for Hagrid to smile gratefully; everyone knew it was quite rare for Fleur to smile, and he felt especially honoured to have gotten her to do so.
"Yeah, so you're not dangerous at all are you?" Draco snarled while he continued gallivanting towards Buckbeak. Buckbeak faced the boy and spread his wings in warning, but Draco continued to prance forward while Hagrid and everyone else could only look on in shock. "You great ugly brute!"
"Malfoy…" Hagrid started worriedly, but it was too late; Buckbeak had already been insulted and the sneer on Draco's face quickly turned into a look of fear while the rest of the class screamed and shouted at the hippogriff's rage.
Fleur observed calmly, biting her lip while her eyes flashed in knowing at Draco who promptly received a slashed arm thanks to Buckbeak's claws. The boy fell to the ground, moaning and whining in pain while he clutched his arm and Hagrid rushed in front of Buckbeak who was still going mad.
After more intimidating and flying dust from not only Buckbeak raging about and Draco rolling around on the ground but also from the class scurrying away, Hagrid managed to lure the creature away with a dead ferret.
"Ohh! It's killed me!" Draco cried. Fleur folded her arms and rolled her eyes. "It's killed me!"
"C-calm down! It's jus' a scratch!" Hagrid said, uncertainty washing his features while he merely watched Draco.
"Hagrid!" Hermione said sternly while she rushed forward. "He has to be taken to the hospital!" Hagrid nodded fearfully and bent down to pick up Draco.
"I'm the teacher, I'll do it!" Hagrid got hold of Draco and carried him back to the castle, even with the boy still moaning and squirming about, taunting Hagrid and his 'bloody chicken'… "Class dismissed!"
The sound of Hagrid's diminishing footsteps and Draco's whimpering fluttered through Fleur's ears while she inadvertently looked around and noticed Hermione looking at her. The girl was torn in between regarding her with praise or scowling at her for clearly not being worried over her best friend's injury. Fleur was still grinning somewhat, finally smiling noticeably when Buckbeak went over to her and patted her cheek affectionately with his beak.
While Fleur resumed petting her new friend's beak, she looked away from Hermione and over her head to the skies, occasionally smiling softly at Buckbeak while she wondered how to take advantage of what she learned about herself that morning…
Hermione was sitting alone in the Gryffindor Common Room that night two weeks later, sitting in her favourite spot by the fire while Crookshanks was curled up on the hearthrug. She was busy staring off at that same corner of the room where she'd changed her mind about Fleur. After her usual routine of reviewing for finals in a couple of weeks' time, her mind was tired and yet still racing so much. Just hours ago, she went to the Hospital Wing to meet with Madam Pomfrey in her office about Fleur's progress.
A part of her was wondering why she couldn't pinpoint her reaction to what she'd just found out.
"Well Miss Granger," Pomfrey began after she finished reading Hermione's notes, "I am glad that you've managed to watch over Miss Delacour with as much care as you have. Might I ask personally how you think things have been progressing? You needn't keep the topic solely on her health."
"I suppose health-wise, I'm quite worried.. She seems to be worsening…. I was expecting her to be worse off at the start and improve from there, really. I'm just very confused as to why the exact opposite's been happening…"
"That's very curious, since you noted here that she's been hallucinating often. I thought I managed to cleanse her system more fully, so I'm quite concerned. What she's been hallucinating is also interesting."
"Err…yes…" Hermione said uncertainly, pulling at her fingers while Pomfrey merely continued to regard her impartially. "I-I did go to the library yesterday and I managed to read up on hallucinations. Fleur would never act like that with me, and I'm sure she's probably somehow frustrated by the lack of recollections about most of her time spent awake."
"This may be true. However, I'm still worried at how frequent she's been hallucinating, and that all of the events seem to relate to each other."
"But you warned me that the hallucinations would be spontaneous," Hermione said diplomatically.
"Spontaneous, yes. But not so frequent, Miss Granger," Pomfrey reminded her calmly. Hermione made a face and shook her head, silently feeling overwhelmed by the explanations soaring through her mind. "And you also mentioned that she has not been behaving like herself. Fevers are not symptoms of vertigo, as I'm sure you read."
"Yes…" Hermione considered this and bit her lip, choosing her next words very carefully. "But I'm sure she's just confused. I mean, yes, she is my friend now somewhat thanks to this, but Fleur isn't the shy sort."
"Hmm." Pomfrey regarded Hermione warmly, not quite understanding where either of their mind frames were going with this. "At any rate, I've went and checked on her myself. I will check on her again tonight to make sure that she's on schedule for being ready to start her physical therapy soon. Really, Miss Delacour has been doing quite well. Her memory and hearing have not been adversely affected by this. Something else may be at work here, but from what I've garnered, I can't pinpoint exactly what it is. Why don't you ask her when you see her again?"
Just as Hermione shook her head lightly and blinked to try and compose herself, she noticed Ron lumbering over to the staircases. She immediately called his name and he froze, swallowing before he went over to sit with his friend. Hermione smiled as best as she could, wondering why he was acting so strangely. She was simply glad for an excuse to stop wondering and wondering about Fleur, really.
"Why the long face, Ron?" Hermione asked evenly. He wasn't looking at her.
"Well…maybe I could blame it on your memory," Ron mumbled, finally making eye contact with her.
"Um…well, I'm sorry I can't seem to remember what it is I've forgotten," Hermione confessed, looking thrown. Ron clenched his jaw and scowled slightly.
"Gee, thanks. I really appreciate you completely forgetting my asking you out."
Hermione slapped her hands over her mouth and gaped at Ron, the recollection of that evening finally rushing back to her in full force. A flood of everything attacked her; the events that happened from that night on flushing her and making her remember how her mind had clicked right to Fleur. That had made everything change from then on, and even now she could hardly consider how inconsiderate she'd been to Ron.
After a second of reprimanding herself, she tried to remember that she needed to say something to Ron. But for once she couldn't think of anything to say. A powerful part of her was still overly worked up about Fleur and everything that she may or may not have found out about her that night. It choked her up to the point of tears, and Ron widened his eyes upon seeing Hermione's eyes glistening considerably while she tried to speak to him.
"Ron… I am so, so, so sorry… I'm a terrible friend! You should j-just…yell at me… Shout if you need to… Why didn't you say anything earlier?"
"No, Hermione… no, I don't need to yell… you're cryin'… besides, I figured you weren't interested if you didn't even bring it up…"
"I-I know… I've just been so overwhelmed with…everything…"
"Look… I pretty much got over it. I have been kinda mad with you always gone 'n Harry leavin' me most of the time for Ginny, but it's no big. I'm fine about it, so don't feel bad. Harry's a little peeved at you but he'll come around. But what've you been overwhelmed about…? That's not like you… I guess ever since you've started takin' care of Fleur you've been kinda different."
"H-how do you mean…?"
"Well…for starters, all you talk about is 'er… An' whenever we have breaks you go see 'er. You always eat really fast during meal times so you can rush off to go take care of 'er."
"Ron, I… She's just such a great person… I really admire her now that I've taken the time to get to know her. Besides… a part of me still feels so guilty for doing this to her. I don't know… I'm just…worried about something else now."
"An' what's that?"
So Hermione went on to explain what she and Madam Pomfrey discussed earlier, not feeling embarrassed at all to divulge to Ron exactly what Fleur had been hallucinating about. Granted, Hermione was fully aware of how purple in the face he was at certain intervals, but he was still a good listener nonetheless.
After keeping everything to herself for months, spewing everything out was automatic, but she was still careful to keep the details of her past quiet, only divulging vague hints. She trusted Ron and still felt an unconscious need to redeem herself in his eyes by giving him a solid reason for her forgetfulness about his feelings.
It was even harder for her, it seemed, to explain to him her sentiments about how she felt about the matter. Nothing seemed to make any sense, no matter how she tried to word things. Ron felt more comfortable listening and not offering any advice quite yet, feeling quite self-conscious about his skills with the matter as it was.
"It just doesn't make any sense!" Hermione repeated for the fifth time that night, feeling completely flustered. "Fleur must be ridden with something else! I can't imagine how her hallucinations have been so bad lately, even though they kind of seem to follow each other. You remember that night I told you she said that she lost her heart? Well the next night she started examining my eyes, claiming that she was still looking for it. I don't understand it, Ron."
"Well… how did it make you feel?" Ron finally asked, the question having been on the tip of his tongue for what seemed like hours now.
"I don't know… I just went with it every time and I wasn't even thinking. It was like we were having a conversation. Every time I responded to her or did as she asked, I really wasn't aware of anything…it felt so natural."
"I dunno, Hermione… I'm not sure how her hallucinations keep linin' up with each other. Maybe she just has a mind of 'er own whenever the vertigo gets to 'er…?"
"No…" Hermione shook her head and chewed her lip in frustration. "But now that I think about it, I think I did feel a little less than natural whenever she'd have me do certain things. Well, all of the time, really, I'd feel this…sort of…spark inside of me? I don't know… It's entirely too frustrating!"
"Uh…a spark…?"
"Yes! Yes, a spark. A haze, a lull; whatever. But I'd always just written it off to flattery that some part of Fleur trusts me like that."
"So then she does have a mind of 'er own when she's like that."
"Oh, I… Ron, really, nothing's making any sense…"
"Sorry I'm no help…"
"No, no…don't blame yourself. I'm still sorry as well."
"It's all right, Hermione… But hey, are you comin' to the Quidditch game on Saturday? We're playin' 'gainst Ravenclaw—"
"No. Fleur needs to start her therapy at the end of the week according to Madam Pomfrey." Hermione flared her nostrils while she closed her eyes, feeling the heat of frustration consume her while she stood up. A strange part of her was irate that Ron had suddenly changed the subject, even though she knew she was tired of speculating. "I'm going to bed. If you see Harry before I do tomorrow then tell him I'm sorry. I'll explain everything to him. Good night, Ron."
"'Night…" Ron called out quietly while Hermione nearly stormed up the staircase to the girls' dormitories. He sighed and Crookshanks finally took the opportunity to make himself known, scampering over to Ron and uncharacteristically curling up on his feet. Ron swallowed and winced at the part-kneazle. "I don't understand her sometimes… Well, all the time, really… But maybe she's bein' thicker than I am with this…"
Fleur was alone in her room that night; Madam Pomfrey had left just moments ago after coming in to check on her. To her own surprise, she was standing at her bedside after taking a bit to walk around. The pain in her head was gone, but she felt dizzy and weak instead of searing pain now that she was up. Her pride refused to let her believe that she was incapable of walking without Hermione's help in a few days' time. Now she was looking at her bed, her eyes cold and the imaginary vapour swirling in her narrowed lids. She was surprised at what she was able to do in merely ten or so minutes after the nurse left.
Her chest was heaving up and down while she observed her ripped sheets and duvet. Her nails were tingling painfully while she remembered nearly ripping them clear off her fingers when she picked up various books and threw them at her mirrors her posters the ceiling and the floor. Her normally pristine hair was tousled and irritated; her very blood was irritated and near the point of explosion within her very veins.
Everything in her room was either ripped or broken; a very fitting state of her own mind and body and everything. Everything but her heart was that way and she hated how warm and tingly it was even with her completely angry at everything. Everything was nonsensical; nothing was right, everything was left and she hated what was left around her and she hated everything. Everything kept reminding her of Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione Hermione HermioneHermioneHermioneHERMIONE; EVERYTHING WAS HERMIONE!
Her claws reached down and grabbed the duvet, nearly shredding it to pieces when she sent it flying from her clutches and over to the books, glass, and parchment covered floor some feet away. Her body told her to collapse on her bed, her face buried deep in her still in-tact pillow while she rolled and thrashed around, tangling her weak and still somehow adrenaline-filled body in her half-ripped sheets. For the first time in years, she wanted nothing more than to cry in someone else's arms even if she hated the person for making her feel this way.
And cry she did while she shouted and snarled and gasped sharply for air, feeling too violated. Fleur felt violated that Hermione had spun her so out of control; the euphoria only lasted so long before she realised that she didn't want anything to come out of the stupid crush she had. But even then, her deep, sick, twisted curiosity always got the better of her, even if just for a moment, and made her fantasise and daydream and pine and moan because a quarter of her knew that this very feeling was her very being.
The snaps and shifts of her personality and wants and needs made her do this, and she was tired of needing to clutch on to her feelings and keep them in control. Controlling her feelings was getting old, one part of her soul said. But the darkest part of her soul unfolded and made her feel such a high and a wonderful feely feel about Hermione that she damn near wanted to explode every time. It wasn't just a crush or a phase or a twinge…
What else could she do other than think about Hermione while she could only be stuck to the confines of her room? She lay on her back and smashed the bed beneath her with her fists, wary of digging her fingernails too deep in her palms but not caring anyway. Over and over she kept smashing her beaten bed, sick of the prison she was in and sick of how easily she could be pushed over the edge. All she could do in her room was think and think and think about Hermione; her first everything. No one and nothing could ever compare to her and Fleur knew it. But the insanity was absolutely horrible and mind-boggling and self-deprecating that she just wanted to shout her feelings to the world in hopes of making it all go away.
Her blood pressure was rising at an alarming rate and breathing was very difficult to come by. The tears had slowed down somewhat, but she knew that she couldn't stop whatever it was she was going through.
There was no chance at escape. Hermione got what she wanted in every way possible. Hermione won. Fleur lost. The game was over and Fleur could only hang her head in defeat while she either tried to hide her overpowering feelings or make Hermione drink her own venom somehow. But since when did she buy into the idea of this all being a game? Didn't she like Hermione so because the girl was so kind and gentle and understanding?
A façade? A falsity? A lie? A scheme! No one could click so easily… But Fleur did. She was right then. She'd calmed down and was catching her breath, damn near smiling because of how wonderful she believed Hermione to be.
"So beautiful… So beautiful… Hermione, you're so beautiful… I can't…just sit here and look… I need to…taste…feel…own…conquer…"
And then… Fleur began to giggle. She rolled over and buried her tear-stained face in her sheets, laughing to the darkness and ignoring how idiotic she felt for being yanked and ripped about so easily from the mere panorama of Hermione.
What was even better was that her friends didn't understand at all. Draco was positively disgusted, Pansy finally showed her true colours and expressed her disapproval, Blaise merely made a face, and the others were silently grossed out in their own ways. It was perfect! Everyone approved of her feelings for Hermione except for Fleur and Hermione themselves! Friends…friends?
She didn't have any friends anymore and she never did – the only one who could ever understand her was Hermione. This tiny detail brought a cataract of more understanding and justification for her feelings, but she was confused as to why she couldn't deny how much she genuinely may have needed Hermione in her life.
The giggles soon turned into shouting and more thrashing, her thundering heartbeats began to nearly rape her chest, and yet she knew that every other heartbeat was saccharinely sweet and warm for Hermione. It didn't make any sense…
And why did she suddenly hate Ron Weasley so?
The next morning at breakfast, Hermione was sitting at the Gryffindor table with Ron, Harry, and Ginny while she explained to the latter two exactly what had been going on. She knew that Ginny had been giving her the concerned friend eye, and Hermione was beginning to feel horrible for neglecting her friends for so long. After being so consumed with Fleur, it was hard to even remember that anyone else existed sometimes.
To her delight, Harry and Ginny understood and didn't give her a hard time. The ones who did seem to be giving her a hard time all of a sudden were Fleur's friends who had stopped giving her the possibly false respect act and went back to their normally scathing personalities. Hermione merely scowled at them and kept going, but Ginny took the moment to comment on this while they were on the subject.
"So what is the deal with Malfoy and everyone else?" she asked scathingly, noticing the looks the emerald clan were giving Hermione. "They were being cordial to you just the other day."
"I honestly don't know," Hermione said impatiently, "it's like they expect me to even care about why they're acting so differently from one day to the next. I really don't."
"You sure about that?" Harry asked. "I mean, it's kind of weird don't you think?"
"Really, Harry," Hermione droned, "as if I have nothing better to do than to give a care about ferret and his cronies."
"They're Fleur's friends too, y'know," Ron pointed out unhelpfully. Hermione scowled at him and took a large bite out of her toast.
"She doesn't seem to think that," Hermione clarified, still frowning. "She never talks about them. And when she does, it's usually always negative. Like how immature they all are, except for Blaise. I get the feeling they really aren't her friends, and it really bugs me."
"What, you think they just hide behind her to have a name for themselves?" Ginny asked, a very distinct tinge of rage in her voice. Harry and Ron nodded in agreement while Hermione pursed her lips and sighed.
"Most likely," she concluded.
"I wouldn't put it past 'em," Ron chimed in. "'Sides, I think they're just jealous that Fleur finally has a real friend."
"Probably…" Hermione trailed off, feeling thankful for Ron's choice of words. Harry smiled.
"You know, when she gets better, how about you invite her to hang out with us?" he offered. Ron turned whatever he was about to say into an obvious cough and Ginny rolled her eyes at her brother. Hermione lit up slightly.
"I think that'd be wonderful. But I did tell you she's a bit guarded. I know she doesn't care about the whole House rivalry thing, but I'm just worried about Malfoy complaining to her if she did."
"Well, from the sound of it she doesn't even like him," Ginny said. "Or any of her other lackeys."
"I suppose you're right," Hermione sighed. "But I'm still rather concerned about her."
"You mean the hallucinations?"
"Yes… I mean, I did tell you how she supposedly oughtn't to be experiencing them so frequently."
"Well...there's no real way to pinpoint how an illness affects someone, you know. Don't think into it so much."
"Yes… yes, I suppose you're right, Ginny… Anyway, we really ought to be heading to class. It's about that time."
"Right." Ginny nodded to the Trio while the four of them stood up. "Don't think on it too much, Hermione."
"I'll try not to," Hermione offered with a smile while they left the Great Hall, ignoring the Slytherins.
"Good," Harry added. "See you later, Ginny."
Ginny smiled at Harry one last time while Ron went a ways ahead, leaving only Hermione to see the couple give each other a chaste kiss before Ginny went one way and Harry caught up with his friends. For some reason while Hermione walked with Harry and Ron, she couldn't fight how she felt a slight sting from seeing the two kiss. Not that she hadn't seen them do it before, no. And she wasn't jealous of them at all.
Or maybe she was. Jealous that they simply had each other. She could have had that if she told Ron yes, but she knew she didn't want that from him if she'd gone so far as to forget his declaration. But the delusional part of Fleur wanted that of her. The thought made her stomach flip and churn strangely, but she merely shook it off while she continued on her way to Charms with Harry and Ron.
That night, Hermione and Fleur were sharing a bath yet again. Chocolate bubbles, dampening hair, entwined legs and a simple conversation was between them in the torpid room while they chatted mildly about things. Hermione seemed to be talking more than Fleur, but it was something they'd grown used to over time.
"Honestly." Hermione rolled her eyes and smiled at Fleur who was merely regarding her calmly. "Ginny and Harry've kissed plenty of times. I don't know why I'm just now jealous over it."
"Do you fancy Ginny?" Fleur asked casually.
"Fancy?" Hermione chuckled and shook her head. "No, Fleur. And since when do you actually use British terms?"
"Am I not allowed to?" Fleur raised her eyebrow and smiled charmingly at Hermione for the first time ever. Hermione felt her face flush while she blinked rapidly and shook her head, but Fleur noticed. Noticed she did…
"Of course you are," Hermione replied neutrally, "you're just rather French, is all."
"Mmm…and what's that supposed to mean?" Fleur began to twirl a lock of her damp hair absently between one finger while Hermione studied her very carefully.
"I mean look at you… Your nails, your accent, your room, your choice of clothing, how you carry yourself… To be honest when I first saw you I thought you looked very out of place here. Regardless of how…mature you were, and still are."
"You're right. I suppose I've just now started to become accustomed to the culture here. You're probably the only one here besides myself who understands a word of French."
"I wouldn't be so quick to assume…"
"You learned your lesson, I see."
Hermione swallowed and mulled over Fleur's words as meticulously as she could muster while they stared at each other. Fleur was still looking at her calmly, not at all looking like she held a double meaning underneath her accented lilt. Hermione also noticed that Fleur was much happier that night. Her barriers seemed to be down and broken, possibly a sign that she truly did trust Hermione.
But while Hermione was so busy studying, she wondered if Fleur meant that she oughtn't to assume that she was…flirting? No…
"May I ask you a question, Fleur?"
"You just did," Fleur pointed out smartly. Hermione stared at her, rather thrown by the minute detail and decided to rephrase.
"Never mind that…anyway… Do you really trust me?"
"Yes." There was no trace of hesitation in her voice, and Hermione was relieved.
"And how do you feel towards me?"
"Mmm…Hermione, you humour me."
"What do you mean…?"
"What are you really trying to ask me?"
"I just want to know…how you…feel…about me…" Hermione wasn't entirely sure herself what she really meant, but Fleur showed no sign of befuddlement. Her grace was exemplary, really…
"I love you."
Fleur's mouth curled into a lazy smile while she watched the red rise in Hermione's cheeks once more. Perhaps it was just now that Hermione realised how her heart was beating, feeling so overwhelmed with flattery and bliss that Fleur really meant what she said. A giddy part of her may have even imagined herself boiling in the water now, melting into an extremely grateful friend. She tried to muster something to say, the horrifying realisation that she was smiling stupidly at Fleur attacking her.
Instead, she crawled to the other side of the bath and held her friend, fully aware that she was sitting right in between Fleur's legs. Her own were at her sides while she kept her head in the crook of Fleur's neck, closing her eyes contentedly when she heard the water shift one last time before being enveloped in warm, strong arms.
"I love you too," Hermione whispered to Fleur's soft, lukewarm neck.
They sat there in silence for a while, Hermione enjoying Fleur's company immensely while she let herself become swept away in the current of serenity she was in. She hoped that Fleur was right with her, and a stronger part of her never wanted Fleur to let go of her.
Neither of them touched each other further than undressing each other and Hermione carrying Fleur to and from the bath each time. The undressing in and of itself was very…sensual, Hermione had to admit. Something she'd never experienced before with anyone. It was nice…
Feeling Fleur's arms around her bare flesh was just as nice, she concluded dreamily. A night away from her and she'd forgotten the whole reason why she became so caught up with Fleur – she did love her strongly. Hearing Fleur tell her was extremely relaxing and self-fulfilling. Harry and the others had a different kind of friendship with her. But the one she and Fleur shared was so much deeper, even if they hadn't known each other like this for years. There was no need, Hermione surmised. A few months was all it took for Hermione to see how much she really cared for Fleur, despite their rocky past and disagreement of friends and supposed House rivalry.
"Fleur…" Hermione began softly.
"Hm?"
"Is it silly that I admire you so…?"
"No. I just don't see why you would."
"You don't care about things…but the things you do care about…you care for them with all your heart. It must be nice to be indifferent to the things you don't want to be bothered with and be so immersed in what you do want to love."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that."
"Really…? But for the longest time you didn't care that I…well…sort of hated you… But now that we've moved past that, you've shown me such a wonderful side of yourself. I really, really appreciate that you're not afraid to be yourself with me. In my experience most people who bottle things up aren't good at letting people in…not for a long, long time anyway…"
"Hermione, I haven't shown you who I am. Don't mix things up."
"What…? But Fleur… I know this is who you are. You're so kind and subdued with me, like how you were outside… I can just tell. Besides, I know Malfoy and everyone else don't receive this kind of treatment from you."
"I am calm with you, yes. And no I don't treat anyone like this except for you. But like I said, you haven't seen who I am."
"Then show me…"
"You're just saying that."
"I'm…not… I love you, you love me…what do we have to hide from each other?"
"Nothing."
"Exactly, Fleur… Exactly… So why won't you show me…? I believe you to be one of my best friends. Truly, I do… I hope you feel the same about me."
"I do."
"I'm so glad…"
"We should get out. You're falling asleep…"
"Mmm…just a bit longer, Fleur…"
But just as Hermione was about to sigh and resume her resting, her eyes shot open and she looked around, extremely alarmed when Fleur picked her up, standing up without any difficulty and carrying her out of the bath. Hermione held onto Fleur for dear life, wondering incredulously how the woman was able to walk all of a sudden and seemingly out of nowhere.
Fleur merely stayed silent and laid Hermione down gently on one of the towels. She quickly went back to the bath to drain it before returning to Hermione to dry her off, quite unaware of the Gryffindor's scandalised staring in her direction. Hermione's heart was thundering madly in her chest, on top of the realisation of how it felt to be in Fleur's position whenever she'd dry her off after their baths.
That in and of itself rendered Hermione incapable of talking while Fleur kneaded her fingertips on her body while she dried her, still so gentle and strong at the same time… The towel was probably as soft as Hermione knew Fleur's feather-tipped fingers to be, and the occasional soft scratch from her long nails made her very aware of her pulse and how fast it was.
Metres of questions about how Fleur was able to stand with her perfect posture even though the vertigo was supposed to cripple her of that luxury vanished when Fleur finished drying the rest of her body and inched the current dry part of the towel right in between her legs.
Hermione honestly didn't think anymore when she did this to Fleur, but now she was fighting back near excited squirms from the sensations and the tiny jolts Fleur's hand kept sending through her system. It was almost as if she were massaging her way up her inner thighs while she dried, finally settling right in between, honing in on her sex.
No one had ever touched her there before, sans towel or not. She felt the truth settle as a very comforting haze right below her heart, the vapour hovering its way up to melt her heart more and more the longer Fleur worked.
It literally was a very long time that Fleur lingered on her sex, Hermione noting herself that no matter how much Fleur tried, her efforts were fruitless – the younger girl seemed to be incapable of being fully dried there.
Hermione was fully aware of how shallow her breaths had become, of how much she was tingling in between her legs, and of how her eyes may have even gone out of focus when Fleur removed the towel, tilting her head to the side in curiosity while she observed. Fleur was looking right at her sex, any ounce of disgust or discomfiture free from her regal visage.
Something was building in Fleur's eyes that were somehow darkened with a strange haze that Hermione couldn't quite pinpoint. Hermione knew she wasn't uncomfortable being so exposed to Fleur, and her eyes knew better than to try and rake Fleur's form.
But it definitely seemed as if Fleur may have been exuding her sex appeal a little more than usual, so much to the point where Hermione felt twinges of the allure. It wasn't overpowering, and Hermione merely blinked and it was gone, leaving her to be consumed in the fire of her own strange passions within.
"Hermione…" Fleur began softly.
"Y-yes…?"
"You're wet."
"No I'm not…you've been drying me."
"I meant in between your legs."
"Oh… w-well… I d-don't quite understand it myself, really."
"Mmm…"
And then Hermione's lungs nearly collapsed in on themselves when Fleur swiftly moved down and spread Hermione's legs apart, her warm, soft tongue making quick work of the bit of heat slicking from in between her and licking it right up. Hermione bucked her hips and shut her eyes while her torso shot up from the counter and she grabbed a handful of silvery blonde silk, a muffled whimper escaping her during the everlasting second that Fleur kept her dexterous tongue on her slick nether regions.
The sensations that flashed through her and the accompanying images that shot right through her mind felt entirely too natural, however unfamiliar they were… A carnal wonder sated Hermione's senses while she arched her back and threw her head behind her, letting a guttural groan exude from her while she let herself bask in the newfound feelings. Feelings didn't even seem to do whatever she felt justice…it was something far more than that…
And Fleur, the sexy beast, inched her tongue up tantalisingly slowly, from the source of the heat to the mound of nerves and staying there, feeling Hermione pulse against her before she pulled away. Hermione immediately felt her body shudder and drown in spasms merely from Fleur keeping her tongue on that one spot, gently brushing a kiss on her sex as she did so…
And Hermione still hadn't let go of Fleur's hair while she slowly opened her eyes. She calmed her breaths slightly while she watched Fleur with breezy eyes, feeling more warmth in between her legs while she studied Fleur's still darkened eyes behind her fringes. Fleur curled her back about in a positively feline manner while she backed away, gently scratching her fingernails down Hermione's thighs while Hermione was forced to let go of the blonde gripped in her hands bit by bit.
The nails felt too good on her skin. Fleur's hair was too soft in her fists. Her tongue was too soft and moist against her just now. The feelings were…strange… Fleur was her first in so many ways that it nearly scared Hermione. But was it a disturbing fear or a fear that she wanted to get used to…?
After more excruciating moments, Fleur was free from Hermione's grip and was already picking her up. Hermione wrapped her arms around Fleur's neck, wondering why the swell of her chest felt so comfortable on her waist while she was guided back to the dark room. Replays of what just happened scurried through her mind, nearly sending her over the edge with manufactured jolts and tingles.
She was ripped from her reverie and the security of Fleur's strong arms, however, when the Frenchwoman gently set Hermione down so that she was standing once more. Hermione kept her arms around Fleur's neck while she looked up at her, aware of how much taller Fleur was than her but finding it comforting anyway.
Hermione kept searching Fleur's eyes, possibly darkened with lust while she stood in the line of her gaze. The silence wasn't uncomfortable to Hermione, even if she was uncomfortable with the truth that earlier felt entirely too natural to her. Being with Fleur now and being under the luminescence of her beauty and wonders was the only thing on Hermione's mind while she spoke to her friend softly.
"You…surprised me," was all she managed to say. Fleur laughed gently and eased Hermione's hands and arms from her neck, eliciting a quiet look of confusion from the younger girl. "Did I do something wrong…?"
"No. But perhaps I did."
"Well.. It's not like I'm angry at you or anything. It was just…different… It…felt…very good… And… I don't know, Fleur. I just really wasn't expecting that…"
"But Hermione…"
"Yes, Fleur…?"
"I only did as you asked."
Hermione could only blink, once again quite unable to scrounge up a response while Fleur walked past her, a strong whiff of chocolate sending arpeggios through her senses. She slowly turned and watched Fleur gracefully strut, slowly, back to her bed and put her nightshirt back on. Hermione wasn't sure if she was expecting something else while she gently shook her head, also moving to put her own clothes back on.
So that was who Fleur really is…? It wasn't so horrible, really… Just…quite…unexpected. Considering how Fleur was quite the temptress herself, it was only natural that she was a sexual being. Unless Hermione was thinking into it too much. Maybe that was it…
"But Fleur…" Hermione began once she finished her task, turning to see Fleur settled comfortably under her duvet and giving her her attention. Hermione swallowed automatically and tried to retain her bearings. "How is it that you're able to stand and walk…? I was supposed to help you with the therapy first…"
"You helped me in different ways, Hermione. Don't get me wrong…"
"Do you mean our friendship…?"
"No."
"Then what helped you, exactly…?"
"I'll just let you figure that out. For now, your services are no longer required. You may leave now."
"Wh-what…?"
"You heard me. My head no longer hurts; I can walk and take care of myself – simple as that. And here I thought you were one of the brightest witches of our age."
"B-but… but…!" Hermione sputtered, completely blindsided by Fleur's cold bluntness. "Fleur I thought we were friends. Best friends, even!"
"We are. I'm just letting you know that you don't need to tend to my every whim anymore."
"Oh…" Hermione sighed in relief before staring at Fleur for a little while longer… "You just scared me for a moment."
"Don't be silly."
"S-sorry… but, you're free to formally meet Harry, Ron and Ginny you know… we'd love to spend more time with you."
"That would be nice."
"Okay… okay, great." Hermione smiled and Fleur returned the gesture. Her heart warmed up while she sighed again, shifting her weight from foot to foot as she did so. "Right, well… I'll just…head out…then…"
"Mhm."
"I'm proud of you, Fleur… really, I am…"
"I'm sure."
"Right…" Hermione gave Fleur a coy smile this time while she motioned uselessly towards the door and walked towards it. "I'll just…go now…"
"You weren't expecting me to walk you to the door now, were you?"
"N-no!" Hermione shook her head vigorously and sped up her walk towards her destination, feeling the rush to her cheeks as she did. "No, no, it's no trouble…no trouble at all—"
But when Hermione turned around just before getting to the exit, she found Fleur nearly towering over her, a winning smile adorning her face. Hermione opened her mouth let out a deep breath before Fleur reached past her and opened the door. Another flash of their moment together pranced through her mind, making her realise that she was staring at Fleur. She quickly mumbled some kind of hurried goodbye before hugging Fleur briefly and rushing out the door.
However, no sooner than she'd left and Fleur continued to stand with the door ajar, chuckling softly, Hermione rushed back in and took the Invisibility Cloak from Fleur's hand and thanked her before hugging her again and leaving with the Cloak wrapped about her form. She walked in a hurry out of the Slytherin Common Room and back out to the dungeons, ignoring how loudly her legs may or may not have been crying for her to run back to Fleur's room.
"You're fashionably late, Hermione," Lavender giggled as her roommate returned that night. Hermione grumbled and put Harry's Cloak away in her trunk while Parvati emerged from the loo.
"Finally," Parvati sighed. Ginny watched the exchange carefully while she sat on her bed. "We thought you'd never get back."
"Since when do you wait up for me?" Hermione snapped, plopping down on her own bed in exhaustion.
"We're just really curious," Lavender commented, "you always stay at Fleur's awfully late. What else is there to do besides feed her and tuck her in?"
"Plenty," Hermione bit back immediately. Parvati and Lavender burst into a fit of laughter and Ginny snorted impatiently.
"Give it a rest," Ginny admonished. The two girls eyed her dangerously and only received an eye roll from the redhead and Hermione. "You two always have your nose too far up everyone's business. We're sick of it if you haven't noticed."
"Oh please." Lavender clucked her tongue impatiently while Parvati lay down in her own bed. "We're just concerned." Ginny and Hermione hardly looked convinced. "Fine! There's just something really juicy going around about you, Hermione. No one knows what it is, but everyone's noticed how you keep disappearing out of the blue what with your duties to Fleur and all."
"Yeah," Parvati chimed in. Hermione merely sighed and pursed her lips at their attempts at getting information out of her. "Come on, spill it! What have you two been doing? I thought you hated Fleur? Come on! Come on!" Parvati's cooing made Hermione groan impatiently, her mouth hurting from scowling but she made no effort to care.
"Look," Hermione began impatiently, "I've not been doing anything along the lines of what you think I've been doing with Fleur. She's my friend. I don't hate her. She's a wonderful person. And if you can't take my word for it then kindly be quiet so we can go to bed."
"Geez, calm down!" Lavender laughed nervously, but Ginny intervened angrily.
"It's true," she began irritably, "you two've been even nagging me for information. She told you the exact same thing that I've been saying all this time. Leave it alone."
"Whatever." Parvati waved a hand dismissively and sighed. "It's only a matter of time, you know."
"Sod off already," Ginny glowered. Parvati and Lavender scoffed and resigned themselves to going to bed while Hermione smiled in thanks at Ginny. The two of them nodded to each other before Ginny lay down and Hermione began to change into her night things.
But now that she was once again undressing partially, she remembered that she was partially lying just now. If Fleur going down on her counted as anything, then it was a complete lie… It was…difficult for Hermione to finish changing and lay back down, but she knew good and well that it didn't mean anything. It was just Fleur being Fleur. If it was more than that, then Fleur would have spoken up. She wasn't the shy type at all.
Despite how good it felt, Hermione refused to let her thoughts linger on that one moment of euphoria she'd tasted from Fleur tasting her. But not everyone just decides to kiss their best friend in between their legs while drying them off to get rid of…secretions. Was this any different? But Fleur was a Veela, was she not…? It was just in her nature to be like that… Fleur did tell Hermione that she was the only one she'd ever exposed herself to, and that Hermione was the only one she'd seen exposed.
Hermione bit her lip and tried to drift off to sleep, but the recollection kept stinging her nicely and building a simmer of nerves right in the pit of her stomach. It was one that made her turn on her side and curl up, her face buried in her sheets under her duvet while she shut her eyes. Aside from the random dreams she'd had, never about Fleur, Hermione had no memory of ever feeling this way before. It was almost surreal. But it was real in the sense that she was feeling it. She was feeling it all. The only thing she wasn't feeling was Fleur's warm tongue in between her legs anymore.
After a deep breath and a shake of her head to clear her thoughts, she resumed her efforts of slumber, but they were pointless. Her duvet felt unusually cold on top of her. The memory of Fleur's room was much warmer. The bath was even warmer. But their moment was the warmest… It almost compared to what she was feeling within; the memory was slipping through her hands like water but the feeling continued to stay.
And Hermione realised that night that Fleur may have been the first person to excite her so without any true mental reprimanding on her own part. But she was quite unsure as to whether it was simply flattery or if it was desire and fulfilment that she was experiencing from the memory alone. Uncertainty of Fleur's intentions, her true intentions were clouding her mind, making it nearly impossible for her to sleep.
Hermione sighed and edged from underneath her duvet and out of her bed, mindful of her lessons that day while she walked quietly over to Ginny's four poster bed. She prodded the younger girl, immediately getting Ginny to open her eyes and look up at her worriedly. Hermione merely gestured for Ginny to follow her, and the two walked out of the dormitory and down to the empty Common Room. Hermione was again feeling uncomfortable about how comfortable she was with the matter while she took her favourite chair, Ginny reclining on the couch right by her while she tried to sort out her thoughts and transcribe them into coherent sentences.
"Ginny, I… I think I was sort of lying just now…"
"What do you mean…?"
"Promise you won't tell Harry or Ron or… or anyone, really…"
"Of course. You don't even have to ask. Now what's the matter?"
"Well… Remember I told you that Fleur and I take baths together?"
"Yeah."
"And remember when I told you that Fleur isn't supposed to be able to stand or walk or even move her head at all?"
"Yeah…"
"Well tonight she was suddenly able to stand and walk… We were just in the bath and then she picked me up and carried me to the counter to lay me down on a towel and dry me off."
"So you're all bent out of shape because she can walk now…? I'm guessing she was just practising while you've been in class."
"I'm sure she has, yes…but that's not my problem. I… Well…while she was drying me off, she moved to…uhm…."
"I'm sorry…?"
"Dry me…completely in between…my legs."
"Oh…" was all Ginny could say.
"Uh huh…so…well… You see, I couldn't seem to quite stay dry, and…well…Fleur concluded that there was something wrong…"
"You mean you were…wet."
"Yes…"
"I-I get it… carry on."
"Right…well… Instead of just letting it alone, she… Merlin, Ginny, please don't tell anyone…"
"Hermione, I'm not. Just get it off your chest—"
"She licked. Me. And kissed. Me. Down there." Hermione blushed furiously when Ginny sprang up from the couch, completely shocked.
"She did what?"
"GINNY!" yelled Hermione and Ginny winced and sat back down, trying to keep the volume of her voice to a whisper.
"Bloody hell, Hermione! Fleur went down on you—"
"Ginny! Please! I'm begging you—"
"Okay, okay… I get it… but… damn! Hermione! Do you know how many blokes'd kill to be you right now?"
"Ginny…"
"S-sorry… Blimey, though! But that's kind of…well… I'd never count on Fleur to come up with something like that… But you never know, she is part Veela…you know how they are…"
"Sexual beings, yes… But Fleur's told me that she's never let anyone but me see her in the nude, and I'm the only one she's seen…like that… And apparently, I'm the only one who she's done this to if that's the case…"
"Why do you think she did it though…? Veela blood aside…"
"Well I asked her to show me who she really is… She said she did with that gesture of hers…"
"Hmm… And how did it feel?"
"How do you think it felt…"
"I had to ask," Ginny shrugged, grinning. Hermione blushed again and groaned.
"Ginny… I really don't get what it is I'm feeling. On top of the entire castle thinking she and I are up to nightly rendezvous, it's just…confusing."
"You're thinking too much into it."
"I don't think I am…"
"See…?"
"…you're right. Ginny, I just… I've never felt this way before and it scares me.."
"You're not concerned about Fleur being a woman and all of that, are you?"
"What?"
"Homophobia."
"Ginny, I'm not a lesbian."
"Uhhh huhhh…"
"Ginny!"
"Hermione, listen to me," Ginny began sternly, "it's okay if you fancy Fleur. Really it is. I don't blame you. Hell, I may have even fancied her at some point. Probably still do but it's just a little curiosity. Anyone would be curious about her; she's bloody gorgeous. And you know her…intimately. So I don't see why you ought to be so flustered about it."
"No, I don't fancy her." Hermione felt her mouth curl up into a smile from remembering Fleur's unorthodox use of the word and Ginny smirked mischievously. "Ginny, don't give me that look! She's my best friend and I just really care about her. Okay?"
"Mmm, if you say so."
Ginny looked very unconvinced and Hermione stood up, putting her hands on her hips while she stomped her foot on the floor for emphasis. The redhead looked quite unfazed and merely giggled.
"Stop that! The last thing I need to be doing is misreading anything that Fleur does! She'd have a right fit if I told her I had a thing for her. I really can't see herself even allowing herself to be around anyone who feels that way about her let alone shows any sign of it because she's just not that kind of person and she doesn't do well with closeness except for me but that has absolutely NOTHING to do with anything and… Ginny, will you STOP laughing at me for Merlin's sake?"
"Hermione!" Ginny managed while her friend finally sat down in a huff. She controlled her laughter and sighed, shaking her head. "You, my friend, are stuck deep in the closet."
"I don't fancy girls!"
"But Fleur's not a girl," Ginny pointed out.
"Then what is she?"
"A woman." Ginny nodded plainly and Hermione blanched. "A woman who is your best friend. So what if you don't fancy girls or women in general? Fleur seems to be an exception to every rule, don't you think?"
"Well…yes… maybe."
"And have you even felt anything for a boy?"
"Not really… I mean, Viktor was just some short-lived infatuation from being flattered that he was so taken with me. I've always been so focused on school. I don't have time for those kinds of things."
"So you're going to grow up alone with fifty cats?"
"No! I… Ginny, I do think about these things but I'm just… it's not something that determines if I wake up every day or not."
"Maybe Fleur should be. I mean, I've noticed that you're a lot happier lately save for when you're frustrated about some things. And these things kind of all relate back to Fleur."
"Well…they do… But you're saying Fleur should be what I wake up for every day?"
"A major thing, yes." Ginny looked entirely serious and Hermione felt her heart warm up again while she wondered about the possibility.
"Is it so strange that I may want that…?" Hermione asked quietly, feeling relieved from merely letting the words escape her lips.
"Not at all," Ginny replied just as softly.
"Is it also strange that I got jealous of you and Harry kissing earlier?" Hermione chuckled at the silliness of her own confession, and Ginny smiled and shook her head.
"No, I don't think so. I think you kind of do want that for yourself. Don't try to assume anything about what either of you are feeling; just see how things go."
"You're right… I'll try my best."
"I'm here if you need anything."
"Thank you so much, Ginny… Thank you."
The two smiled and stood up to return to their dormitory, Hermione feeling a large weight off of her shoulders as they went even with both of them yawning every five seconds. Ginny winked at her as they reached their room, and Hermione took a deep breath and nodded to her before they walked quietly to their respective beds.
As Hermione climbed into her bed and closed the curtains that time, she wondered if it would be entirely too terrible to see where her feelings go. It was quite possible that it was a fleeting thing. But comparing what she felt for Fleur now to what she felt for Viktor seemed like an insult to her best friend. She was worth so much more than that.
Uncertainty rang clear in Hermione's system while she drifted off to sleep, but it was a good kind of uncertainty. There was nothing to assume about Fleur and there was nothing to assume about herself quite yet. However tempting it was to wonder whether Fleur really meant something earlier, she tried to stay away from it. But it was hard.
Very, very hard.