so I'll love whatever you become..
and forget the reckless things we've done..
i think our lives have just begun...
i think our lives have just begun..
~Falling Away With You by Muse
x. falling away with you
Shuffling up the stairs to Fleur's room that night was extremely difficult for Hermione. It was late, Fleur was bound to be asleep but she needed to at least see her…
She felt horrible for not being with her to open their presents together, but they still had a couple of weeks until they had to go back to Hogwarts. It was the couple of weeks part that made Hermione sick with nerves because she wasn't sure how she'd be spending them with Fleur, if at all, once she found out everything..
The countless times that Fleur had proven to Hermione that she truly, truly cared for her kept her legs going underneath her black dressing gown. She was crying not too long ago and Ginny woke up and finally caught her in the act. All she had to do was look up in the general direction of Fleur's room and give her one more assuring hug before Hermione left and started creeping up the stairs.
It was nerve-wracking how the wood kept creaking underneath her bare feet even with her trying as hard as possible to tread lightly; she couldn't bear for anyone else to wake up and see her in such a state. Fleur would understand but she wouldn't know why.. Fleur would…
Fear had been breaking her bones and willpower for nearly a month now. Despite the grief and highs and lows, she knew for certain that her feelings for Fleur only continued to grow and grow, out of control and never slowing, so much to the point that it could either make her sick or make her smile.
Everything that she'd written in Fleur's letter was absolutely true. It was so gratifying to have a friend, even if she was in love with her, who always made her heart soar fervently whenever she thought about her. Being with her was even better, or worse – having to suppress the shivers she'd receive from even the slightest of touches with her would soon drive her mad, but at least she'd be satisfied with herself…
Right now she was still sobbing quietly because of how torn she was between being afraid to wake Fleur but knowing that Fleur would want to help her, to be there for her, to be her strength. Hermione was allowed to be weak as long as Fleur helped her through it. Fleur was strong, confident, assured – Hermione needed that from her but she was petrified about ripping that security away from her if she disgusted her with how she felt.
The heartache she felt only continued to be more and more profound and distracting and derailing despite her same heart trying to work the strings to warm her soul and keep her going. She'd been daydreaming about Fleur simply holding her with her acceptance.. was that so much to ask...?
A sense of assurance in the form of Fleur's subtly strong arms… A kiss atop the head and somewhere more to let her know how it felt to be loved in such a way… And, perhaps, a kiss on the lips, however salty they were, to quench the burning inside of her and spark another one, far stronger than all of the rest each and every time. A never-ending cycle. A Fleur and Hermione, not just Fleur and Hermione as best friends… Fleur that might not have even cared at all for the Weasleys, even, but she was making an effort for her…for them perhaps...
Hermione's eyes finally found the door to Fleur's room in the hazy darkness; it was barely ajar. She could almost hear Fleur sleeping soundly inside. The thought made her cry just a little more than before however happy it also made her. Only Fleur could make her feel two completely extreme emotions all at the same time, with a spot of everything in between just for emphasis.
Even now, walking closer and closer to her door and seeing a bit more of the moonlight peeking out made her heart scream at her to not turn back now. She could have spent entire nights walking back and forth between their rooms, contemplating and making a mess of things inside of her more and more all the while. Any effort she made to either be with Fleur or protect her from getting hurt or offended felt like the only two things that she'd ever want and need to do forevermore.
Once she arrived at the door, despite her shrieking heart, the warmth she felt from being so close to Fleur made her push the door open just a little more so she could peek inside. The door was quiet for her, thankfully, and she tried to still her tears but nothing seemed to be working…especially not seeing Fleur sleeping so peacefully for the second time.
While she shuffled inside and strained herself to silently close the door behind her, she remembered when she first saw Fleur sleeping in the Hospital Wing – she'd looked so powerful. Even now, that still hadn't changed. But she was at ease…that was the important thing.
Hermione walked over to Fleur, noting how silent her breaths were. Silent, slow, even, and controlled… Even her head was turned so that she was facing the door. Facing her. The flow of hair covering her eye looked so pristine, as did the rest of her hair.
The mild glow to her skin was very apparent while Hermione stood right at her bedside, noting that Fleur was sleeping on her back and strangely on the side of the bed closest to the window. Not in the centre. Her hair behind her covered the pillow completely in a sheet of shimmering blonde, her sculpted face did wear a small frown…but it was one signifying great strength.
A very small voice in her head said to slip under the duvet and hold her now before she concluded that running away would be best. So she did so, noting how incredibly warm it was under Charlie's duvet. Holding Fleur and laying her head on her chest felt so right, even if she felt a little cold from the absence of Fleur's arms around her emotion-wracked body. Hermione shut her eyes against Fleur's chest just under a very soft jumper of that cashmere material she loved so much.
Feeling the warmth on her eyelids and hearing her almost quiet breaths and steady heartbeats was enthralling. Chocolate was in abundance, floating throughout Hermione's senses while she breathed in Fleur's soft allure…
She wondered for a moment if she liked Noel, but she opened her eyes and looked right by Fleur's shoulder underneath the duvet and saw that he was right next to her. It should have made her smile but all she could do was shut her eyes once more and continue crying silently.
She wished that she had but one ounce of the willpower Fleur possessed so that maybe she'd stop crying all the time.. But it was difficult not knowing anything for certain except that she loved Fleur with all that she had and wanted to learn how to love Fleur in more ways than one. Being friends was a luxury in and of itself, but she craved more.
She was allowed to let herself be free and unrestrained when it came to Fleur because Fleur gave her that same courtesy when it came to their friendship. It was incessant and nagging and still so wonderful because of the way it made her feel to fantasise and to believe that she and Fleur could share something one day. Hopefully one day soon.. Tonight would be even better. Right now… God how she wanted the love now but Fleur was asleep..
As soon as she thought that, a hand and arm slipped underneath her waist and pulled her closer. Hermione's breath caught in her throat and Fleur wrapped her other arm about her still sobbing form. Fleur slowly breathed in the smell of Hermione's hair and gradually let out a small, guttural moan that made Hermione's cheeks burn a hole in her jumper.
Shivers caressed her body while Fleur gently grazed her nails up and down her back, just barely touching the fabric of her smooth dressing gown, making Hermione involuntarily arch into her and entwine their legs together. Hermione could have fallen right inside of Fleur, with her somehow, and would have gladly stayed there from the comfortable swirling sensations she was feeling.
Another moan left Fleur's throat; an earthquake of curious arousal nearly crippled Hermione while she tensed slightly and relaxed, and then curled up momentarily. The echoes of the sounds floating through the night air were still inside of Fleur's chest.
It stilled her tears, though gentle rivulets still flowed down her flushed cheeks to soak Fleur's heart with the toils of the woman's own creation from simply being so desirable and sincere. Hermione longed to tell Fleur of the reasons for why and how she was making her body react the way it was to every little thing that Fleur was doing…
"Mmm… Hermione.. What's wrong…?" Fleur murmured.
"I just.. wanted to see you… I missed you earlier... so much..."
"I missed you too.. But is that...why you're…crying..? Or at least part of the reason…?"
"Yes…" Hermione breathed; she couldn't lie to Fleur. Not now, not ever…
"Hmm…you're such a big baby.. but I'll love whoever you choose to be…so don't.. worry… you can cry with me."
"You really mean it..? You'll love whoever I choose.. to be…?"
"Yes.. I want you to be comfortable being whoever you want even if it's just with me when we're alone... I most certainly am.."
"You're so sweet... and thank you so much for the present.. but I'm not quite sure how it's supposed to work…"
"Your present was the most adorable thing… thank you.. for the letter too.. as for your present… you'll see… before we leave.."
"I'm looking forward to it…"
"As am I.. and I'm looking forward to our...talk.. don't feel pressured into thinking you need to tell me..."
"It's hard.. I want to tell you so badly that it hurts and... God I'm just so…confused.."
"Impulses are fun to go with, Hermione... keep that…in mind..."
The next afternoon, Fleur was standing out in the snowy garden with Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Bill, Charlie, Fred and George. The guys and Ginny were going on about Quidditch while Fleur merely stood a small ways from everyone, wearing the jumper Mr. and Mrs. Weasley gave her, her same black jeans that were somewhat ripped at the bottom, and a pair of old black and white Converse that Harry suggested she wear as her usual shoes made her look silly in such weather.
She had one arm extended past her thigh, her wand in her hand, and her other arm wrapped about her waist while she stared off into the vast expanse of white before her. The trees in the far off distance mirrored what she felt within; a stark deadness that seemed like it would always come back somehow. Like the expected change in seasons.
Fleur simply felt as if something was so close…something that she wanted to pounce upon and seize was hers for the taking. But there were too many voices of jest in her mind, clouding everything, making everything too hazy to make out..
Fleur finally wondered what things would be like if Hermione strangely did feel the same way. She felt a natural inclination towards always pleasing Hermione. Please her, tease her, adore her, worship her; repay her for all that she'd been able to do.
Thank her at every chance she could and every chance she probably shouldn't but would anyway to show Hermione that she wanted to be the one that will make her feel like a…somebody. Not just anybody. Constantly acting on the affectionate torrents she felt within, even now, seemed to be for the best.. Showing Hermione everything and anything and giving herself completely was what felt right.
Always giving – that was what Fleur felt as if she were doing. Give, give, give, give, wait, wait, wait, smile, smile, and above all, protect her – things that she'd only ever done for Hermione…
Complaining would only make things worse. Complaining never did anyone any good. However much she wanted to complain and scream and give Hermione more than just a piece of her mind, but all of her heart and very being, she chose to remain quiet. Quiet, and above all at least appearing to be patient.
"…at least her jumper's cool!" Fleur heard Ron complain loudly, easing her from her thoughts. Such sweet irony..
"Stop being so ungrateful, Ron," Hermione snapped irritably. Fleur smirked at her tone of voice.
"Bah! But d'you lot really think she can't hear us..? She 'asn't moved in ages.."
"I'm sure she's fine," Ginny said quietly, but not quiet enough. The silence Hermione was in rang deaf in Fleur's ears and she frowned.
"She usually quiet?" Charlie asked.
"Depends," said Harry, "she's usually mildly outgoing, and she'll spoke if spoken to.. especially with Her.." Harry paused for some reason and Fleur automatically pictured everyone glancing at her friend momentarily before ripping their eyes back to her. "Hermione…"
"D'you know what's wrong with her?" Bill asked with concern.
"N-no…" mumbled Hermione.
"You didn't…?"
"No..." Fleur wondered what it was that Hermione didn't do…
"I've got an idea," Ron said.
"Great," said Fred sarcastically.
"Does it involve kittens and posies?" George asked expectantly.
"Shove off," Ron grumbled. "Hey, Fleur! C'mere for a moment!"
Fleur sighed and turned, seeing as Ron left her no room to pretend as if she hadn't heard him. She realised how cold her feet were from standing rooted to the same spot in the snow for so long while she lifted her leg to walk, trying hard to focus on the sound of the snow crunching underneath her soles and to not look at Hermione.
She felt Hermione's eyes on her while she walked with her head held high, still managing to strut somehow, carefully, and didn't bother with feigning any warmth in her eyes while she made a general glance about everyone else outside. Her eyes finally honed in on Ron once she was a few steps away from him, wondering why he winced momentarily when she was finally close enough to him.
Fleur slowly peeled her gaze from Ron's freckled face to Bill's rugged one, growing bored with the way he was looking at her that was also telling her something else. There was simply a very loud, however imaginary it was, voice coming from everyone telling her that she was doing something wrong.
Their silence didn't help at all. Especially not Hermione's. Her silence was making her rethink just what she had in mind for her, making a strange guilt churn painfully within from thinking so horribly of her. It was simply causing fatigue in her mind and heart from trying so hard to be such a perfect best friend. Fleur didn't even notice a malicious sneer was upon her face while she looked back at Ron, silently asking him what it was he wanted. He seemed bright enough to read her, unlike Hermione, however ironic that was.
"So I was thinking.. we have enough here… why don't we play some Quidditch..? You've a broom, and loads of talent, so..."
"Maybe later."
"Oh.. all right, later then.. but how 'bout you show us your Patronus? Harry's been wantin' to see it again, and so've I."
Fleur shrugged. Ron looked to Harry, who promptly retrieved his wand and conjured his own stag Patronus. Ginny followed suit and conjured a horse, and Ron followed with his dog, a Jack Russell Terrier. The group watched the silvery animals move about, chasing each other through the skies and snow while their owners watched with smiles on their faces.
The rest of the group except for Fleur strangely turned to Hermione, and she bit her lip before procuring her own wand and conjuring her own Patronus, still needing to say the spell out loud unlike Fleur. It was indeed still an otter, but it merely lay still at her feet, looking up at her with what may have been concern for its master. Fleur lowered her head ever so slightly and felt a pang for probably making Hermione feel even worse by how she was carrying herself.
Hermione lifted her gaze from her feet and otter while everyone else dismissed their Patronuses, automatically boring her hollow eyes into Fleur's. Not a second of apprehension went by on Fleur's part before she lifted her wand and thought of the incantation, thinking of only and nothing but Hermione and how close they'd grown while her heart warmed up considerably.
It took almost no effort for Hermione to make spasms shoot down her skin, despite the cold. Holding her gaze was addicting; she felt a lusty haze darken her eyes and relax her eyelids while she continued to stare. Everything but Hermione had gone out of focus, and the wonderful pleasures from being with her at a distance made her want to fall to the ground and pine and moan herself to submission…
And as soon as her Patronus floated from her wand, everyone and everything stopped. Fleur could barely put the silvery animal in her line of sight before her eyes flew closed. Time ceased to make sense of anything anymore, and everything happened at once.. absolutely everything…
Her Patronus had changed. It was no longer a sphinx. Fleur had changed; emotionally, mentally – Hermione had helped her undergo a large emotional upheaval to bend and smooth over a new shape to her very being.
She was no longer standing – it felt as if her body was on a high and yet she was still slowly falling, wrapping her arms about something immediately not to break the fall but to make it fall with her. Despite the crescendos and falling, she felt as if she were atop boundless clouds. And yet it was almost like losing complete control and letting herself freefall, but with someone else for a change.
It was blissful and explosive at the same time, still, even now that she was flat on the ground with a pair of arms around her neck and something else with her, inside of her… Something else that she'd only been able to gaze at for so long…and it felt so many magnitudes more than just relieving that she'd received first and wasn't the one giving.
Fleur's Patronus had changed to an otter… and what was better was that Hermione did take heed of her advice; she acted impulsively; spontaneously like the combustions and explosions going off inside of her, sending a passionate steam swirling within that settled into a near dangerous drive for her… It was like that night all over again when she'd become so humbly consumed with her own sexual drive, except this time she had every right to believe that it wasn't one-sided anymore..
Hermione was the one that choked back a sob while she bolted towards Fleur, uttering such an adorable cry of joy at the same time that it melted Fleur's insides into a saccharine waterfall that crashed down within, cutting off any and all control over herself, easily making her moan.
Hermione had charged at her and sealed their lips together from the sheer flattery and utter joy that she'd made such an impact on her, sending them both falling to the ground while their otters hopped about their tangled bodies. Hermione was kissing her… Hermione.. kissingher… Collective stares from everyone only further tangled more and more layers over the two, shielding them from the cold and any and all impossibilities in the world when it came to anything.
The lips upon hers and the fingers tangled in her hair thawed her from her frozen shock. Fleur was almost too dumbfounded that Hermione had finally stepped past the threshold of their simply being best friends and acted on her wants and took a chance.
Fingertips, nails, hands and arms brought Hermione as close to her as possible while she finally registered just how supple and wanton Hermione's lips were, full in their own ways and somehow whispering imaginary pleas and gratitude through the heart-shaped lips that she'd finally seized. Fleur only had to inch her head up and ease her lips further into Hermione's; both of them were severely depraved from the other and far beyond overwhelmed and shocked and still somehow so sweetly satisfied..
Exploration took place, their lips searching and familiarising with uncharted territory that was finally their own. It was intense, smouldering, fiery – just like Fleur always believed Hermione's eyes to be. Their heads moved this way and that, faces still plastered on the others', barely getting any breaths in between trying so hard to make the most of their moment after far too long a time of restraint.
An arpeggio it was, between them – fast with their lips one way, slowly moving back to revisit and then soaring right back up the scale of how soft and right it felt for their lips to be one. Everything else was forgotten while they let low, throaty moans and sighs escape them on occasion, barely leaving room to let them catch their breaths that they damned for needing as much as they needed this moment and each other. So many wonderful memories of their time together sewed right together with this moment, creating a completely different image of a timid Hermione to one that was no longer afraid of anything.
Wind chill was blocked off from the warmth ensuing between them, bequeathing them with an ever-growing feel for the other no matter how surreal it felt to be so close and creating such tender chafing betwixt them. An epiphany.. a finally moment – and it was all theirs for the taking, neither wanting to let go and both so, so, so insanely desperate in their passions, pleading with the other to never ever stop.
And yet Fleur still wanted so much more; she was lost within a current somewhere, falling still even though she was grounded, and was about to open her mouth in some unbelievably desperate begging form to Hermione to take her further.. but something stopped.
Hermione stopped first, letting out a small whimper that only Fleur could hear when she still felt two soft, moist, kiss-swollen mounds prodding at the skin just around her own lips. Fleur herself felt the flutters still, despite the rip from the comforting sanity that she was just in.
Both of their breaths were racing; both were breathing damp air on the other, keeping their faces and hearts warmer than ever before. Fleur was replaying everything over and over despite how fast it was in reality and how soon it had ended, ingraining as many sensations and thoughts she had into her memory forever.
It wasn't until she felt a hesitant finger placed upon her lips that she opened her eyes in concern, gazing up at Hermione like a serene, sleepy child. Their otters were still hopping around them, playing with each other, even. Fleur was reminded strongly of Noel while she sighed deeply and took note of how swollen Hermione's lips were.
The pleading look in Hermione's dark eyes made her body arch into her, a pleading gesture of her own that she knew Hermione wanted to submit to. It sent a lazy smirk to her face, Hermione already blushing considerably and only reddening further. Once Hermione looked to the side, however, Fleur finally seemed to understand everything.
Everyone that was outside before was still there, still staring. The boys were all blushing terribly, Ginny was awe-stricken, and now Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were also in the fray, torn between shock and relief. Apparently the parents had come outside to ask if anyone wanted any tea and biscuits, only to find Hermione pinning Fleur to the ground and nearly devouring the woman alive.
Fleur strangely tore her eyes from them to Ron for some kind of support, and he smiled briefly before resuming a strange urge to gape and ogle just like everyone else. It seemed to her that everyone already knew but her, hence their hushed tones and cryptic words earlier.
This, Fleur surmised, was what Hermione needed to tell her for nearly a month straight now. She rather preferred this method of talking, even if Hermione was extremely embarrassed that everyone had witnessed her lose her inhibitions completely even though she'd only meant to do it for Fleur and only Fleur.
Fleur didn't even have to make sure – she knew Hermione had some thinking to do. At least this time she had a little more to work with and to hold her over while she gave Hermione her needed space..
And she knew the perfect way with which to occupy her time.
That night, Hermione was sitting by the fire with Ron and the twins. Bill and Charlie had gone shopping with their parents at random it seemed, Harry and Ginny were alone somewhere, and Fleur was giving her the time she needed to think.
The worst case scenario that she had running through her mind when she realised that everyone was watching them was that she'd have to explain to Fleur that she needed time to sort things out. But Fleur knew her well enough.. no one else would have or could have looked that deeply...
A wistful smile was upon her face while she and the others sat in a circle by the hearthrug, fully aware of the silence in the room except for the fire and everyone's eyes on her. The warmth the room was giving her could in no way compare to Fleur, but it was fine..
Her finger was busy spelling out Fleur's full name over and over on the floor in front of her; she was thinking and falling out someplace far, far away from the Burrow that she wasn't aware that she was even still alive. Everyone else faded into the background and her thoughts stayed in the fore, Fleur seemingly standing right before her, smiling and keeping her focused.
Of all the ways she'd pictured her first kiss, if she ever had one, the thought of her literally tackling her object of affection to the ground and possibly forcing herself on them was never a possibility. She thought it would be a shy, awkward first kiss. Never out in the cold, or in front of people, especially not people she knew. She expected the other person to say something along the lines of That was it? once they'd done it.
It sounded creepily similar to some joke Ron would make, but Hermione never considered Ron in that way. Viktor had tried to move things along but it just didn't feel right. Even when she did wonder about it, she knew that she had far better things to do than to fantasise suitable situations where someone would possibly slobber all over her mouth and leave clumsy bite marks on her face or cut her with their stubbles.
But this… This was beyond amazing and incredible for her. Fleur had never done anything with anyone before either. The second she saw the exact same animal as her own Patronus float from Fleur's wand, her heart yanked her forward and nearly ripped her legs out of their sockets to get any part of her to Fleur as soon as possible.
She wasn't thinking about how everyone would be watching or that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley could have come outside at any moment or whether Fleur even wanted it or not. Affecting her so much to the point of having her Patronus undergo such an extraordinary shift from the sphinx that represented who she was with everyone else, and the otter that she was with her… Well.. Hermione really didn't see any blaring holes to hold her back any longer...
In fact, all she could see was the way Fleur had looked at her while she was conjuring her charm. It had the same effect as that Sponge-Knees Curse Fleur inflicted upon her in their Second Year; no one had ever looked at her that way before… Even the Silencing Charm had its place.
But the one thing that didn't was Fleur's Severing Charm – Hermione had launched herself on her and Fleur didn't cut her down on the way. She welcomed her with open arms and equally lusty lips. Hermione had Fleur now to hold and to love and to help and...anything else they pleased..
She could hardly believe that she'd gone from pining to the point of insanity to being insanely happy; Fleur must have felt the same way for some time, and she didn't even realise it… And considering that it was Fleur who genuinely, truly wanted her, that in and of itself was the highest form of flattery that she could ever receive. It was foolish of her to not pick up on anything before, but she was rather glad things happened this way.
The kiss itself was more than Hermione had ever tried to envision. Fleur wasn't reckless or rough at all – she was gentle when she wanted and passionate when she needed to be. It was liberating and resounding and incredible and over but she'd never go a day without thinking about it.
A first kiss wouldn't have been nearly as ardent had it not been with Fleur, for Fleur knew, somehow, what it meant to love with her body. It was in her nature, even if she was technically inexperienced for her twenty years. They were both each others' firsts in nearly every way possible.. and this scared Hermione.
What if Fleur had some preconceived notion of things as it was? Hermione didn't know how to go about doing things…not really, anyway. Of course there was the time-old term to follow her heart…but that wasn't any help when just thinking of Fleur made her body yell and sigh and moan in agony that all she could do was think and yet she could think of Fleur that way now. Fleur kissed her back..
And that more than anything was what should have assured Hermione that Fleur will help her through this. Fleur...wanted...her. She really did.. Fleur wanted her. The truth sent her swimming and she sighed for the hundredth time that night without realising until George finally coughed loudly and ripped Hermione from her sentiments.
"So.. mind tellin' us what's been goin' on in that noggin 'a yours?"
"I'm just so...happy.." Hermione murmured with a small smile, still looking down at what she was writing, "overwhelmed, but…so happy.."
"Seems Ickle Ronniekins came through after all," Fred grinned. Ron rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and smiled when Hermione looked up at him.
"You know," Hermione began thoughtfully, "I never would have gotten the chance to get to know her like I did if not for you..."
"Really…?"
"Yes.. That night around the start of term when you...told me a few things… I got worked up over Fleur and that's how I found her behind the greenhouse… I left that part out when I explained what happened."
"Oh. Oh! That's a bit of a nice coincidence.. I think."
"I would think so..." Hermione smiled shyly and went back to focusing on her writing.
"Matchmaker Ron, ah?" Fred smirked at this. "Mind helpin' me 'n George out? We're interested in tall Veela women, strong sense 'a fashion, intelligent, long nails.. oh, and they outta be blonde."
"Yeah Ron," George added, "no blonde no go. "
"Whatever you two," Ron grumbled. Hermione chuckled and Ron allowed himself a small one of his own.
"What're you gonna do now, Hermione?" Fred asked seriously. "I mean I know you said she's just givin' you your space, but…"
"I just.." Hermione sighed and tried to look at Fred sincerely. "I'm afraid I'll mess up."
"Nah, you won't."
"Not on purpose anyway," George assured her.
"Thanks," Hermione mumbled.
"Hey hey hey! I didn't mean it like that! Well.. forget I said that, really. What I'm tryin' to say is that you don't want to ever hurt 'er, right?"
"Of course I don't..."
"And.. it's not like I can see Fleur ever doin' a one eighty on you and ever thinkin' ill of you. You owe each other a lot by the sound of it."
"Sure, you say that now.. but I've never done this before."
"Isn't that the whole point?" Ron asked. "To try? You gotta admit that Fleur never smiled before this year.. well, 'cept those odd times in Third Year but that was different."
"How convenient of you to remember, Ronnie," Fred grinned.
"Will you give it a rest?" Ron barked. Fred and rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Anyway… you'll be fine, Hermione. You'll figure stuff out."
"Yeah but she has to want to," George pointed out when Harry and Ginny finally decided to join them, "doubting yourself never helps. Not in the long run even if Fleur's always willin' to give you a shoulder to cry on."
"That's why I don't want to doubt myself," Hermione said quietly, "and yet I still do.. I don't want to hurt her... She's already been through so much... the last thing she needs is me giving her drama and making her lose hope about everything.. And it's not like you can just tell me to not hurt her and I won't…"
"You're not sure if you want to be with her because you don't want to hurt her?" Harry asked for clarification.
"Yes..." Hermione looked absolutely miserable.
"Wouldn't you hurt her even more by leading her on and then telling her no?" Ginny asked.
"Yes… no… I don't know.."
"Hey," said Fred, "what happened to the Hermione that pounced Fleur of all people just today, ah? Where'd she go? She wouldn't be sittin' here mopin' around while Fleur's happy now and wantin' to be with you."
"He's right," Harry assured her, "and what are the chances of you finding someone like her or better…? You two've been inseparable for months now. The chances are less than you going mad and hurting Fleur."
"I don't have to be mad to hurt her, Harry.."
"Then just how do you suppose that you'd hurt her if you have no intention of doing that..?"
"Look at me right now.. Look at me... I'm lost and confused because I'm torn. I'm.. too indecisive. I'd probably be clingy with her too. Even now it hurts because she's not here.. I know I needed time to think but now all I want to see is her and it's this…this dangerous feeling! It's not.. not normal... it's almost sick. And I'm still falling for her… more and more and more and what if it gets to the point where she gets sick of me when all I want to do is be with her all the time?"
"Whoa, whoa, Hermione," said Fred, "when'd you get all insecure? And even if you are I think Fleur'd know how to take care of you…"
"She most definitely would," George grinned. Hermione barely managed a small smirk and everyone smiled at her.
"Hey, Hermione," Ron said, "don't forget that there's nothin' harder than bein' given a chance. I mean… it's not like she's going anywhere.. and if she is then she'd wanna take you. And this is Fleur we're talkin' about.. not just any old bloke or girl. She really cares 'bout you. You're lucky!"
"I did think about that.." Hermione grimaced slightly. "I'm supposed to feel special because she could have anyone she wants and yet I'm the one she…wants..."
"Is that so bad? You're not horrible," Ron reasoned.
"Inferiority complex?" Harry asked.
"I think you're right," Hermione mumbled.
"I think you should feel better about yourself, really," said Ginny. "It's because she loves you so much that you should feel proud. You told us what she told the Slytherins about you. And she's right."
"I suppose..."
"Hermione you cannot just kiss the woman and change your mind," Fred said tartly. "If you don't take her I think Bill'd be happy to snatch her from you."
"Bill?" Hermione looked surprised.
"Err, yeah…" said Ron. "The way he's been lookin' at her makes it pretty obvious. He knew beforehand about how you felt and that's prolly the only thing that kept 'im from makin' a move on 'er."
"It's probably just her thrall," Ginny sniffed.
"Probably... but now I feel pressured because of him."
"Hey, don't be!" said George.
"If Fleur kissed you back and for that long I don't think you need to worry about Bill," Harry laughed. Hermione chuckled a bit and nodded.
"And yeah, you are supposed to be cautious with these kinds of things," Ginny added, "but you're over-thinking everything again."
"Yep," George said, "I bet you'll change your mind the second you see 'er again."
"If she even wants to see me again..."
Hermione took their silence as the sad truth that she had a point. But no sooner than she thought that, that she realised George was the one who was right; she lost all of the feeling in her limbs when she felt a warm, deep, accented murmur in her ear..
"Mmm…but I do, Hermione… I do…"
And those strong arms snaked their way around her waist, right where they belonged and in a place where Hermione never wanted them to leave.. Her breath caught in her throat when she felt breasts settle in between her shoulder blades and press against her. Her face flushed automatically, making her head spin and ears burn to warm Fleur's lips nicely that were prodding ever so gently in between butterfly kisses.
Her head tilted back and her surroundings were long forgotten while her eyes fluttered closed; Fleur had started purring in her ear and kneading her fingertips on her back and waist, breathing such shallow breaths in her ear that Hermione thought she'd soon faint.
That feeling swarmed her again; everything and anything but Fleur crumbled to pieces and allowed room for her near hellish relaxation in how intense it was. A paradox of wonders that sated Hermione and whisked her doubts far, far away – that was who Fleur was to her, for her..
"Do you want to take a bath with me...?"
"Yes.." Hermione breathed, almost pleadingly. The smirk she felt planted on her moist ear made her squirm slightly, eliciting a deep, throaty chuckle from possibly, her, Frenchwoman.
And that was the last anyone saw of them that night while Fleur swept Hermione into her arms with ease, carrying her all the way up to the loo. Hermione did feel Fleur's arms around her but she still felt as if she were floating, somehow...
Floating, falling, soaring, and finally believing with someone... Finally feeling the relief that she knew she wanted for so long; the want had been pushed to the back of her mind for so long until she realised that she'd found it in the form of Fleur's body, her smiles, her confidence, her charms, her strut, her eyes, her nails, patience, understanding, perfections, intelligence beauty strength …
She had no idea what she was in for, but that probably was the whole point of things.. She'd just have to trust Fleur on this. That's all there was to it.