january..
has april's showers..
and two and two..
always makes up five…
it's the devil's way now..
there is no way out…
you can scream and you can shout..
it is too late now…
because..
you have not been..
payin' attention…
~2+2=5 by Radiohead
xiv. love me tender
Fleur had thankfully stopped showing her strange signs of behaviour some weeks later; this was especially good news to Hermione as they just so happened to be outside at the present time. This was mainly because Fleur had insisted on saving their duelling sessions until after a certain weekend. Stripped scarves, emerald and platinum, crimson and gold; they contrasted starkly between the two women as compared to everyone else milling about outside who were standing in any type of close proximity. The scarves about their necks were easily negligible, their black cloaks equally useless – they were both convinced that their gloved hands that were interlaced would always be enough to keep them warm no matter where they were.
As it was, it was February fourteenth, a Saturday, and it was Hogsmeade Weekend – Valentine's Day. Needless to say, and knowing Fleur, Hermione was being treated to some mysterious venue late that afternoon. It was nearing sunset, and Fleur insisted that they waste copious amounts of time in their room together before then for some strange reason. Hermione was grinning too much to mind, even with the near endless flock of on-looking students gaping at them so. The snow was beginning to melt somewhat, but a fair bit of a coat of white still lay on the ground at their feet while they continued to walk into town. The skies were clear and bright and Fleur's eyes were even brighter while she gazed down at Hermione with a playfully suspicious grin upon her face. Hermione kept smiling up at her while she willed a look of content and question right when Fleur stopped and turned to face her.
"Here's our venue," Fleur said, though her conviction was lacking; she was giggling far too much for Hermione to take her seriously. Hermione whereupon laughed warmly at her while Fleur also held her other hand in her own. "Hm? Why are you laughing at me? I worked hard on this!"
"Oh, but of course," Hermione giggled. The allegedly crestfallen expression upon Fleur's cracking face merely made her laugh even more, Fleur herself even snorting slightly to contain her own laughter. "You're no good at keeping secrets, so you might as well tell me what you're really up to."
"I'm taking you on a date and here we are." Fleur managed to keep a straight face for a whopping five seconds, and Hermione merely continued to smile up at her while she rolled her eyes at the woman's antics. "Why don't you believe me?"
"Fleur, I think I know well enough by now that you're far more extravagant than this. In a good way, of course." Hermione shook her head at Fleur's feigned expression of shock. "Besides, you're usually quiet, but if you're up to something then you giggle."
"Mmm, I don't know about that last part, Hermione.. But you're spoiled, I see. Besides, what's more extravagant than holding hands and looking at each other while the rest of the world passes us by…?"
"Oh honestly Fleur.. This is very romantic and everything but what are you up to—"
Fleur chose not to respond and instead situated their hands so that one of hers was on Hermione's waist, the other still holding her hand, while Hermione's other hand was now on her shoulder. There was a generous amount of space in between everyone else and them, and Fleur decided to take advantage of this, and Hermione's fresh confusion, by smiling the widest and brightest smile Hermione had ever seen while she tangoed with her across the snowy road. Fleur looked down at Hermione warmly and gave a loud lilting laugh at her befuddlement. They continued to dance in the middle of the entire school almost, and the second Hermione finally did find the will to smile affectionately at the gesture did Fleur's eyes seem to light up even more.
Hermione was soon laughing, almost too hard, at Fleur's wonderful singing in such a random Bulgarian accent, telling tales of a maiden named Herm-own-ninny in a periwinkle blue dress. Fleur was dancing with Hermione the exact same way she observed her and Viktor doing at the Yule Ball she did not attend but chose the perfect time to peek inside. The tales ranged from the beautiful Herm-own-ninny being stubborn and yet still so coy, easily able to hide her inner wonders with boldness and bravado that was entirely too attractive, to one of the now Hermione who was dancing with an extravagant Frenchwoman for all eyes to see. Fleur assured Hermione that she wasn't ashamed of a thing when it came to her, and she'd prove it every single day.
Before Hermione could show any more emotion to Fleur at being so nicely overwhelmed, Fleur dipped her low and brought her lips down to meet hers in the same swooping gesture. Hermione moaned immediately, letting her eyes flutter closed right when Fleur deepened the kiss even more, if possible. The effect shot a syringe of ardour within, easily sending her flying with Fleur cradling her in her arms, threatening to pierce the skies and few clouds above. Hermione wrapped her arms about Fleur's neck and felt an amazing shock when she felt a daring knee creep amid her thighs and settle right in between her. Fleur's knee worked nicely in between her warming legs, easily synchronised with her soft lips prodding at hers. It was a wonderfully warming effect, coupled with the warmth of their tongues gently lapping at each others', making a unique shivery spasm settle throughout and elicit distinct moans of approval on both their parts.
Before they could get too ahead of themselves, Hermione soon found herself swooped in Fleur's strong arms and treated to contented sighs echoing nicely in the woman's chest. Hermione licked her swollen lips and smiled while Fleur kept her lips atop her head, whispering and confirming her suspicions that there was nothing in Hogsmeade for them except for romantic dilly dallying; just because. The surrounding crowd looked on in awe while Fleur carried Hermione back to the warmth of the castle, unfortunately not able to see the incredibly, almost out of place look of serenity in both of their eyes. All the while, Fleur kept going on and on in an amazed, gentle voice of how she had a dream of taking Hermione to the stars.
As it was, Hermione was completely right in her conviction that Fleur was far more extravagant about things – she was soon back in their room, alone, though for good reason. She was indeed wearing a little black dress this time, instead of her periwinkle one, and a matching pair of heels to surprise Fleur. Her new hair colour was certain to also do the trick – dark chocolate brown to match their scent. She choose to keep her hair down and sleek as always, but of course making an effort to put a little more sheen in for the occasion.
Fleur was to pick her up in just a few moments' time, and Hermione was already grinning incessantly while she ceaselessly wondered exactly what Fleur had in mind for her that evening. Fleur had insisted that Hermione leave the day and night to her, and that Hermione was welcome to make up for it at a later date. Hermione found Fleur's efforts to take care of her and treat her like a Queen entirely too romantic, but she resolved herself to making it all up to Fleur as best as she could over time, most especially on a certain August the seventeenth later in the year.
Hermione bit her lip and had to keep from squealing – Fleur had chosen to knock on the door instead of barging in. Hermione checked her appearance one last time to make sure that her dark eye shadow and bit of mascara were still flawless before she went to open the door, trying her hardest to hurry there and fix herself once she was there so as to not make it seem as if she'd rushed at all. She took a deep, giddy breath as she smoothed down the front of her dress and opened the door, not too fast and not too slow; just slow enough to reveal with increasing anticipation that was Fleur standing just outside the door.
Hermione gave a very coy smirk while she gazed up at Fleur's eyes that weren't nearly as high up from her own anymore, but still higher nonetheless. Hermione raised a sculpted eyebrow when all Fleur could do was gape politely in obvious pleasant surprise, but Fleur herself was also looking rather different for a change; her tailored black suit with a glossy black collar was very, very sexy on her. Even the shiny black tie and smooth chocolate brown dress shirt underneath was a wonderful touch. Her black men's shoes were polished and sharp to match her hair that was actually up in a tight ponytail for once in her life. Hermione had to again keep from squealing and sighing contentedly when Fleur briefly snapped out of her reverie and bent down to kiss her hand.
"You found my favourite dress, I see," Fleur murmured while she looked up at Hermione, still bent down in a respectful manner. Hermione nodded curtly, fearing her face would soon burn off from smiling so much.
"You didn't say what colour you were wearing so I figured black would be best to match with whatever you decided on."
"Mmm…and your hair…make-up…"
"You like?" Hermione asked, raising her eyebrow as she did and noticing the way Fleur's lips quivered while she nodded and stood up straight.
"I love it.."
"I'm glad… You do look very handsome, by the way."
"Only for you."
Hermione gave Fleur yet another coy smirk after closing the door behind her and locking it, and she yet again had to keep from squealing when Fleur offered her arm. Hermione of course took it gracefully, loving how warm and smooth the texture of Fleur's suit was on her arm and shoulder while they walked with their heads held high out of the empty Common Room. Well, it wasn't entirely empty – they both noticed Draco and Pansy sitting by the fire, gaping at them as they left with their noses stuck in the air in jest and pure glee. They paid them absolutely no mind while they left and exited to the dungeons.
Fleur didn't say where they were going, but she did say to expect food. Hermione wasn't led terribly far from the dungeons, and it was even in a place that she'd failed to notice was even there before. But of course, she could count on Fleur to know the finer intricacies of the castle than herself, and probably even Harry with his Marauder's Map. It was rather surreal, really, because they were walking down a corridor that led to a dead end. Hermione thought Fleur rather crazy for still walking anyway, but she didn't dare stop and instead continued on with her own heels clicking in their ears instead of Fleur's. Despite them nearing the dead end, Hermione continued on, and she kept on with complete confidence that Fleur wasn't trying to pull a fast one on her.
Her confidence continued to float through her, elating her almost to cover her nerves while they neared the wall. Fleur wasn't stopping any time soon, it seemed. They kept walking, walking, walking, walking; Hermione was expecting them to walk right into the wall but that didn't happen – they walked right through it, the stone seemingly melting to fit the contours of their bodies and slowly dissolving into ripples that eventually reformed the illusory hardness of the material once they'd walked through. Hermione was so busy trying to look back in shock at the wall that she didn't realise that Fleur had let go of her and had swiftly vanished from sight. Hermione stopped abruptly, her heels scoffing loudly against the dark marble floor at her feet, and she nearly blew herself up from taking in such a large breath of sheer amazement once she took in her surroundings.
She should have thought more of Fleur's dream – she was entirely surrounded by the dark night sky and billions of stars dotted around her head, the full moon even shining wonderfully some distance away, high in the Enchanted sky. The universe was seemingly all around her; it was her ceiling and walls, while the marble floor at her feet reflected everything so nicely, including the blown away expression upon her face. After she took nearly hours of time noticing how perfectly aligned the constellations were all around her, she finally looked back down and noticed a piece of parchment just at her feet. She bent down to retrieve it and smiled at the elegant handwriting that was what she supposed her first bit of help in her search for Fleur.
Take your Character Number and go that many steps forward, then turn in the direction of which hand of mine it was that you shook and held first. Multiply your Number by four and walk forward by that many steps.
Hermione smiled with an absurd about of giddiness while she followed the instructions with ease; Fleur had quickly figured out, or secretly memorised, that her Character Number was four that morning of their first Arithmancy lesson at the beginning of the year. Hermione also remembered with ease that it was Fleur's right hand she shook and held that night so many months ago, and continued to hold for many weeks after.
Once she'd done that much, she smiled even more when she found another bit of parchment right at her feet. This one was a tad more difficult to figure out than the first one, but she was still able to follow it with her grin forever adorning her face. It was rather invigorating for Fleur to have thought of riddles for Hermione to solve, and the thought behind all of them was so terribly sweet of her. It wasn't until she got past the fifth note that they became extremely difficult, but she rather enjoyed the challenge. Sadly, this note in her hands seemed to be the last one, and for good reason. But it was still extremely, extremely endearing of Fleur to have thought of such a thing.
You'll find me where our body of stars meet on the sky every day and night, most notably the night when you found me.
Hermione's eyes lit up a great deal while she looked up to see where she was; the constellations Fleur spoke of were some distance away. The one that she was under did help to guide her to their constellations, however difficult her celestial clues may have been to read – Fleur was a Leo and Hermione was a Virgo. Their vertigo incident happened on the night when Virgo was coming in and Leo was leaving…
It wasn't long before Hermione had walked the distance she needed to go, still smiling her face clear off her head, most especially when she finally did find Fleur standing with her back to her and her hands clasped behind her back. Fleur turned just as Hermione reached her and gave her a very dazzling smile, her pearly whites easily rivalling the glow of the moon not too far away. They soon stepped into a warm embrace, and just like every time Hermione tried to get a perfect feel of how the contours of Fleur's body fit so wonderfully into her own. Soon after a very zealous from Fleur, she noticed a very extravagant table for two right behind her. Fleur was a gentleman as always and pulled Hermione's chair out for her to sit first, and soon Hermione was smiling at the woman right across from her and her nose was filling wonderfully with the smell of the meals and wine before them.
"I take it you had fun with my riddles?" Fleur asked good-humouredly.
"I did, actually." Hermione finally let out a long-overdue contented sigh. "You're the sweetest thing, Fleur. You really, really, really are.. I can't even begin to tell you how flattered I am right now, more so than usual of course."
"Mmm…I bet you'll feel even more flattered once you taste your seafood."
"Oh really?"
"Mhm. Go on – try it."
Fleur picked up her outermost fork from the utensils laid out in front of them, and Hermione followed her example. The two of them sampled their food at the same time, and the grin on Hermione's face easily became more pronounced; the lobster was scrumptious and already had the perfect amount of lemon juice added throughout for flavouring. The grin on Fleur's face seemed to be one of great accomplishment, and Hermione kept her smile while she looked at her sceptically.
"I cooked," Fleur explained. Hermione's jaw fell a tic and Fleur merely chuckled at her. "I of course had a lot of help from the House Elves.. but I did all of the actual cooking on my own. The wine I was able to get from them and they were surprisingly generous about it. It took me quite a few times to get this all just right but it was worth it."
"How long have you been working on this…?"
"I've been working on these same two meals, yours mostly, for the past two weeks.. Well, needless to say I nearly burned the kitchens and I got so frustrated that I almost gave up. I've never had to cook anything before in my life, you see… But I told them at first that it was for you and they were very eager to help me. Mrs. Weasley was rather surprised to find me back at the Burrow last week, looking rather haggard and asking how to broil lobster.."
"How.. but…you've been with me this whole time—okay maybe not, but.. Fleur, you… You didn't have to do this..."
"This is why I postponed our duelling practise because I knew I'd probably be a terrible cook at first, but I have gotten a lot better."
"Is this why you've been so tired all the time..?"
"Mmm, yes, I suppose. Sneaking off to go improve my rudimentary cooking skills while you sleep is what I've been doing. And working on this Enchantment. This room is a lot like the Room of Requirement but it's just a completely empty, large room behind an illusory wall. No one bothers with it. But I used to come here a lot whenever I'd wander around over breaks."
"Fleur.. I don't even know what to say.. But, thank you so much. For everything, really..."
"You're welcome.. You're very welcome. But eat up – I need to explain a few more things. Things I think you need to know."
Hermione nodded and mirrored Fleur's neutral expression while she gladly continued to eat the rest of her meal in between giving Fleur her undivided attention. Fleur's face slowly but surely began to materialise into a coy expression seeing as how she wasn't exactly used to expressing herself in such a way. She seemed to appreciate Hermione's patience, and Hermione was all too happy to give it to her – Fleur was of course still stunning as always, and even her spot of shyness was endearing while she too did her best to eat, seemingly using her food as a distraction at times.
But, more than anything, the things that Fleur were saying did indeed help Hermione realise just how much her own face was reddening right along with Fleur's.
"I know that I should do things like this more often, not just on Valentine's Day or other occasions like this. Believe me – I want to but I end up hesitating because I don't want to smother you. And I am still adjusting to this.. somewhat. I know I probably seem confident all the time, but it's really from me smiling like an idiot because of how silly I feel. But it's a good kind of silly. Really, it is.
"It's almost as if something, some voice deep inside of me, keeps telling me to just give myself to you all the time. Just let go completely and fall.. and I have been. In a few months I won't be surprised if I can't get through the day without being able to kiss you. Even in class, it's hard…having to restrain myself. The voices used to scare me but it's possible that it's just a powerful intuition.
"I do admit that my sexual drive tends to overwhelm me at times, but I'm not aiming to rush into anything. I promise I won't pressure you about it. But I have been.. thinking about you that way. You, and only you. I'm not embarrassed about it, as it is supposedly part of my nature to feel perfectly fine about it. Other than that, I will be more open with you about things, namely my personality that I tend to hide.
"But you're so open-minded about things, especially when it comes to me. Even the way you look tonight is a testament to that. You look so amazing like I always knew you could be, dressed like this.. Though I do still adore 'our' outfit. You're opening up considerably and I swear to you now that I'm doing the same. I want nothing more than to give myself to you completely… and I will. I promise you I will. I'll love you more than you'd ever thought possible… starting tonight.."
"I apologise," said Professor Lupin as he came in to Defence Against the Dark Arts a bit later than usual the next week, "as you know I do have terrible symptoms around this certain time of the month."
"Is his werewolf problem the only thing," Hermione heard Draco hiss to Pansy some desks behind her and Fleur, "or is the crackpot PMS'ing or some rubbish we don't know about…? You see any feminine products sticking out his arse?—"
"Furthermore," Lupin continued, appearing not to have heard Draco's comment, Hermione's snort (though a sick part of her actually wanted to laugh), or Pansy's snort of laughter, "I have a few things planned for today's lesson. As this is a N.E.W.T. level course, I know you all understand that we will be delving into a few touchy matters. However, I urge you to take this information in today with a steady mind."
Lupin took his needed moment to retrieve his lesson plans and such while everyone else in the room readied themselves to take notes. Hermione had gotten used to Fleur's lack of care to ever take notes in class, or even pay attention for the most part – she always seemed to understand the lessons quite well whenever they reviewed it later in the day. While Hermione sat with her quill at the ready over her roll of parchment, she observed Fleur's arm that was on the desk; the woman was quite preoccupied with twirling her unneeded quill in between her lithe fingers and occasionally moving her free hand to push up her falling blouse sleeve whenever it unrolled itself from around her elbow. Meanwhile, she was staring straight ahead, over Harry and Ron's heads in front of them, and Hermione knew that Lupin could always tell that Fleur never paid attention during his lectures.
It never did bother Hermione that Fleur wasn't the most attentive student; she technically didn't even need school anymore. It was rather awkward whenever Fleur did scribble randomly on her parchment though – Fleur was left-handed, and would always sit on Hermione's right. So they would always be brushing arms or interrupting the other. Hermione did find the gestures rather endearing, though. She knew Fleur was prone to daydreaming unless the Professor did, for some outlandish reason, call on her. Hermione had grown accustomed to simply watching Fleur more often ever since they'd become closer friends. Even since their Valentine's night, Fleur had become increasingly more passionate and almost sexual, in a way, with her. The mere thought sent a warming haze throughout her while she let a small smile settle upon her face.
And she did indeed keep up with her self-satisfying habits in between note-taking, also taking note of the tiny details about Fleur – the angles of her mildly toned arm and where the muscles were most pronounced, where her skin seemed to give off the most glow, how she breathed… It was almost sickening but she was ever so curious about Fleur, not at all caring about another blond behind her who was constantly giving the both of them his own attention for most of the class.
"Possession is a dangerous act, as you all very well know," said Lupin while he walked about the classroom, "and, of course, you also know that Lord Voldemort," all but Fleur, Hermione, Ron, and Harry in the class flinched at the name, "was extremely apt at controlling the mind. It is possible that he employed the use of possession to exact a similar method of the Imperius Curse. A terrible act it was, on top of it being completely undetectable.
"There is no way to fight possession as far as we know. The one doing the possessing is ultimately the one who decides when to leave the victim's body, for whatever reasons, and go about his or her business elsewhere. It is strikingly similar to a Wizard's Duel, where the true winner is the one who did the controlling through instilling fear within his or her opponent. If there is no fear, there is no battle – perhaps, quite simply, just a meeting of friendly minds or rivals. It is said that conceding most often takes place between friends. However, it almost always happens between.. lovers."
Fleur finally stopped her bored fidgeting when Lupin ended his pacing right by her desk, on Hermione's side. He regarded her warmly while the rest of the class also turned to look at her; the way he worded his statements and the way he was looking at Fleur seemed to be suggesting something. Fleur looked back at him with a passive expression, more concerned about him singling her out and not everyone else's eyes on her and Hermione.
Hermione herself even began to wonder what it was that he may have been suggesting; surely he heard the stories of their duel in their Second Year when Fleur had conceded to her for reasons that made very little sense to her at the time. Of course she did overhear Fleur contemplating out loud about the matter all those months ago, but the look in Lupin's eye made her ponder about something else.
"Miss Delacour, Miss Granger – would you two mind coming to the front of the class? I have a little task that may be of interest to you both."
The class was still extremely silent other than Hermione and Fleur both rising from their seats to walk to the fore of the class behind Professor Lupin. He had the class stand and step aside so that he could clear the centre a great deal to allow for plenty of room. The Gryffindors were on one far side of the room with Hermione, while Fleur strode to the opposite side, Slytherins in tow. Harry offered to hold Hermione's robes for her, and she thanked him while she took him up on his offer. Both she and Fleur were in their white Hogwarts-issued blouses, the same pair of jeans of 'their' outfit, and even the same trainers. Hermione even loosened her tie a bit to match Fleur's for effect while she stood with her wand settled at her thigh.
Hermione felt that twinge of fear settle within, the same she'd experienced so many years ago, simply because of the reminder of it all and not necessarily because she was afraid of Fleur. Fleur who, for the most part, was still looking rather passive; she had her knee bent and arms folded while she tapped her wand on her bare forearm, looking off to the side, out the windows, while her sunlit body contrasted so starkly in poise and height with the chatty Slytherins sitting a bit of distance behind her. Her powerful face was in profile, and she was still looking rather bored, but in a strikingly beautiful way that made her uncertain if she could go through with a real duel. Her Housemates behind her were talking animatedly amongst themselves while they sat, and neither House was doing any slandering of the other, to Hermione's great surprise.
Even when she finally managed to peel her gaze away from Fleur's body, she automatically looked over to Draco and Pansy sitting in the front of the row and not too far from the centre where Fleur stood. They were regarding her unreceptively; not even a tinge of a nasty look surfaced upon their faces. Hermione looked back to Fleur for a moment, then back to Draco. Back to Fleur, then Draco. Fleur, Draco, Fleur, Draco Fleur Draco Fleur Draco – it finally struck her as apparent that she felt bad about their falling out. And certainly he'd be even angrier if she somehow managed to win, even if Fleur let her, which she no doubt would…
"Now I must ask of you," Lupin said while he moved to stand right in the centre of the room, "to not go easy on the other." Hermione swallowed and Lupin smiled at her. "I really am most interested in seeing a re-enactment of what occurred nearly six years ago, but with your now more polished abilities. Surely you can fill in the rest. Do either of you, or anyone else, have any questions?"
Fleur shrugged and continued to stare outside at the sky that was now beginning to develop overcast. Hermione shook her head no, wondering why Fleur was still avoiding eye contact with her. Though just as Professor Lupin was about to give them the signal to start, someone of course had to raise his hand.
"Yeah, I have a question," said Draco evenly.
"Yes, Mr. Malfoy?" Lupin asked curtly.
"Don't they need Seconds? Just to keep things official and whatnot. Maybe even have them join in."
"Ah! I nearly forgot. Yes you're right – five points to Slytherin." Draco allowed himself a small smirk while the Slytherins except for Fleur nodded in approval. Said smirk vanished quite quickly once he noticed that Fleur was still choosing to pretend he didn't exist. "Certainly, you are allowed back-ups, partners, Seconds. Miss Granger, who would you like to choose as your partner?"
"Um…" Hermione looked over to Harry and Ron. Ron was smiling sheepishly, Harry inconspicuously glancing at their best friend with a small smile on his face. "Ron."
"Very well, Mr. Weasley, please stand about one yard to her left," said Lupin while Ron beamed at Hermione, quickly moving to follow instructions while he retrieved his wand. Hermione smiled and nodded to him once he completed his task. "And Miss Delacour, please choose a Second, if you will."
"I don't need one," Fleur said articulately while she finally at least shifted her gaze to the darkening clouds to that of Lupin's perplexed, slightly scarred face. Draco frowned sadly.
"Miss Delacour, I'm aware of your…exceptional abilities, but it's only fair. Otherwise Mr. Weasley is perfectly obliged to try and duel against you simultaneously with your opponent."
"My opponent can have as many Seconds as she wishes, but I assure you I don't need one."
"Are you quite sure of that?" Lupin asked with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes, and even his voice. "Because that can be arranged, if you'd like."
"Go right ahead." Fleur brushed aside a fair bit of hair from her eye while Lupin smirked and nodded to her.
"Simply amazing," he mumbled to himself. "If you insist. Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy – please join Miss Granger on her side of the classroom. Mr. Potter next to Mr. Weasley, Mr. Malfoy one yard to Miss Granger's right."
Harry and Draco looked extremely dishevelled upon hearing Lupin's request but stood up anyway. Harry immediately took his place next to Ron after trying to smile encouragingly at Hermione, but Draco merely walked next to Fleur and stood there, looking straight at Professor Lupin. Fleur appeared to be fighting back a strong urge to demand that he go to the other side as he was assigned.
After a terribly long and awkward silence, Draco took her lack of eye contact as his signal to walk to the other side of the classroom and do as he was told. Hermione tried to get him to look at her, but he refused to return her gaze. She went back to regarding Fleur, but tried to dismiss her uncertainty; Fleur wasn't uncertain about this on any terms, so nor should she.
"If you would like," said Professor Lupin, "you may go ahead and use your arsenal of fancy pyrotechnics if it gets the job done. Under absolutely no circumstances may you perform Unforgivables or Dark Arts – this much is obvious and needn't even be said. Miss Granger, you are allowed to add or replace your Seconds at any time and up to any number should you feel the need as Miss Delacour has so kindly given you permission to do so. You may begin at any time, and don't worry yourselves about time, as this is the last class of the day. Do take care."
Lupin walked off to the side with his hands clasped thoughtfully behind his back, nodding to the five of them to begin once he was a safe distance away. The rest of the class watched on with bated anticipation, so enraptured by the matchup that they couldn't even bring themselves to speculate amongst themselves that they still thought Fleur would win. There seemed to be overcast in the classroom, almost, from the darkening clouds becoming so prominent outside.
Hermione watched as Fleur finally, finally shifted her line of sight to her own, and she felt an entirely unnatural chill seep throughout; Fleur's eyes were cold and uncaring while she bored her darkening azures into Hermione's eyes. Hermione could almost see the very fear painted upon Harry and Ron's faces while the three of them wondered and wondered what to do. Draco was growing impatient and spoke up on the matter.
"It's just like last time," he mumbled, only audible to Hermione, Harry and Ron.
"How do you mean?" Hermione asked with the same volume, feeling a burning sensation within that Fleur could still easily read her lips.
"She won't make the first move. Fleur never does.. we used to—Anyway. The point is she's going to be perfectly fine just standing there until we all pass out from exhaustion or forfeit. Chances are she won't concede because Lupin said to not go easy. We need to do something."
"Well if you're so smart, why don't you tell us?" Ron asked calmly. "Fleur's a damn genius with this stuff, unlike us."
"She's left-handed," Draco said simply.
"So?"
"So," Draco continued, "that means her reaction time on her direct right ought to be lower."
"Ought to be?" Harry asked sceptically.
"I don't see you coming up with any million Galleon ideas, Potter," Draco hissed. Harry rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I propose we just surround her without even lifting our wands. She'd let us."
"Okay, and then what?"
"Hug her?" Ron asked sarcastically.
"Yeah, Granger can hug her then we can all have a kip here in the classroom 'till class lets out," Draco droned. "Love conquers all, even Fleur, blah blah blah. No. What I'm saying is that as amazing Fleur is, she doesn't have eyes in the back of her head. Someone from behind her gives her a nice Stun, she's rendered useless, and Bob's your uncle!"
"I dunno, Malfoy," said Harry. Hermione was too busy trying to keep the same intensity in her eyes that Fleur was giving her to contribute to the brilliant brainstorming session. "Why don't we just wing it? She won't hurt Hermione and we can get replaced temporarily if need be."
"Sounds like a plan," Ron said. Draco shrugged and nodded.
"All right, Potter. But if this ends up taking the rest of term it's your fault—"
Draco was Silenced. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were as well – Fleur really did make the first move.. Hermione had been watching her, but she couldn't even lift her wand before Fleur managed to do so and flicked it four times on her side of the room. Apparently, she'd grown bored of their senseless strategising and decided to remedy this. The rest of the class guffawed at Draco and Ron's panicked expressions; even Lupin allowed himself a small chuckle at their antics. Harry merely turned to regard Fleur fearfully while Hermione could only continue boring her eyes into Fleur's.
Fleur took a step forward and Ron and Draco immediately took five steps back. She reversed her spells on the boys, but not on Hermione. Hermione tried to appear nonplussed about this, but she knew Fleur was either toying with her or giving her an extra challenge. It appeared to be the latter; Fleur stood in profile and pointed her wand directly at Hermione. Hermione honed in on the rosewood for a moment, losing focus on Fleur before glancing back up at her, feeling a strange feeling of elation from the rush of adrenaline she felt from letting her eyes retain their focus on Fleur's, slightly hidden behind shimmering blonde. It was the adrenaline, and how strongly she felt for her that made her aware of only her heartbeats and Fleur existed at that very moment.
"Rictusemp—"
Ron's feeble attempt at a Tickling Charm was remedied by Fleur swiftly flicking her wrist while she kept her arm in place to Silence him once more. What's more was that she did not remove her eyes from Hermione's while she did so. Hermione merely continued to stand there, unable to do anything without her voice, but she seemed hyperaware of everything else now that she chose to direct her attentions elsewhere. The sound of Draco's shoes scuffing the hardwood floor while he walked back to her side seemed to be more apparent than normal, but nothing more so than the oddly close-up sound of Fleur's breathing, the rise and fall of her hair against the fabric of her shirt; even her blinking seemed audible.
Hermione knew that she trusted Fleur immensely, even if at the moment Fleur was choosing to dangle her partners in the air by their ankles and Silence them all. The class couldn't even find it in them to laugh; their gaze was wholly intense and extremely passionate. Her own thoughts became clearer to her, and she no longer felt as if her lack of a voice at the moment was an issue; if anything, it was helping her to learn Fleur's secret. It was because Fleur loved her so that she trusted her to figure out her lessons and to not be frightened of her in any way anymore. Though Hermione felt her heart ache somewhat when she realised that they'd only said I love you to each other while they were still only friends. Certainly they've said it in many other ways… While Fleur was much more articulate with her words than Hermione, that was never an issue. Now was an opportunity for Hermione to show her in one way she knew how, doing something that she technically did excel in – turning theory around and putting it to her practical advantage.
It was time to do just that…
Hermione finally mustered the courage to also stand in profile while she pointed her wand directly at Fleur. Fleur finally cracked a small smile that only she seemed to have been able to see. The rest of the class seemed to fade into unimportance, into nothingness – all Hermione knew was the striking detail at which she could sense Fleur's every tiny move at that point in time. Their eyes never left each other, not even to blink. Their heartbeats did all of the blinking for them, most especially when they finally did choose to begin –
Simultaneously, it was, that Hermione and Fleur both flicked their wrists in an upward motion to send a jet of their own creation at the other, both fully having been expecting an immediate reaction. Hermione was rewarded with a smirk as soon as her fire actually clashed and struggled with Fleur's ice; they both moved to clutch their wand with both hands and lowered the tips of their wands towards the other, and bent their knees to fight the powerful force their elements were pushing back on them, making their hair and shirts fly about behind them. They both only continued to increase their respective elements in magnitude, both keeping their ground relatively well, neither daring to break eye contact or the growing affection in their still powerful gazes while their struggling slowly but surely melting into a large cataract of water between them.
Synchronised they were, even still – they both kept their smirks about them and yanked their wands with one hand high above their heads in a power-struggle to lasso the water betwixt them into their control and out from the other. Collective gasps were barely heard over the loud current of gushing water when Hermione managed to steal the incredible body of water, managing to whip the entire thing into a massive whirlpool, but realised too late from the broader smirk upon Fleur's face that this was a mistake – she completely forgot that the boys were still in the air behind her, meaning…
Fleur let out a warm laugh while she continued boring her eyes into Hermione who was determined to not dissipate her Leviathan behind her. Hermione was surprised that Fleur immediately Summoned the three boys from the water and had them skid over to Lupin's side to dry off. The three of them scrambled to get as far away from the battle as possible while even the rest of the class scampered over behind Lupin to get a better look at things.
Hermione was wondering in vain what in the world to do with her weapon still raging behind her, but Fleur arched her front foot and did a nice one eighty, slamming her foot to the fore, just enough to make a loud stomping sound and more than enough for Fleur to manipulate the sound waves into much, much larger waves that were indeed still made of sound that no one was able to see. Hermione winced; she knew she was losing hold on her weapon and the sound that Fleur was building was entirely too unreal. It kept building and building and building in volume, Fleur seemingly Transfiguring the waves into…something… Something that was making Fleur scowl, and scowl very deeply at that – it was the sound of collective laughter. Hermione tried to ignore any innuendos Fleur was trying to make and instead lassoed her whirlpool from behind her to at least try to clash the sound and possibly drown it out, literally.
But while the two entities neared each other, the harder and harder Hermione and Fleur both had to hold their ground and will themselves to not break eye contact with the other while the tremendous force continued to push back on them. Hermione truly felt invigorated from Fleur being such a formidable opponent, though she did have the smallest ounce that Fleur was going easy on her. They kept on with their smouldering staring match, still fighting more and more to keep themselves steady while the laughter did indeed begin to drown but the Leviathan that Hermione was controlling was steadily collapsing in on itself. She didn't know what was causing this, but Fleur certainly seemed to know –
Hermione made the fatal mistake of blinking; her eyes were nearly screaming from lack of moisture on top of the massive amounts of energy being blown at her. The force stopped for possibly a nanosecond, less than it took for her to blink, but she did see what Fleur had done – a strange, black and platinum miasma was building in her wand while it absorbed the two forces, making some strange vortex-like sound and even sucking in the rest of the sound of the room while Fleur watched Hermione's stubborn surprise with a malicious sneer. The energy continued to build and build in between her wand in both of her hands, the sounds in the room still continuing to leave, but once they all joined her wand, it took but another nanosecond and Fleur successfully showed Hermione that she still had much to learn.
Everything that was once inside her wand from the recent absorption, shot out from her hands and wand the second she extended her arms out at either side of her and let out a merry laugh from the force making everyone topple over on their backs – Fleur released all of the energy and promptly filled the classroom with too much sound and droplets of water that every single window shattered to infinite shards of glass, desks collapsed in on themselves, people screamed, the very walls all seemed to melt; every particle in the room began to fall excellently to the broken floor.
Hermione quickly forced herself to at least sit up when Fleur channelled every single shard of glass in the room in her direction; Hermione ignored her racing heart and sheer disbelief that Fleur was actually considering hurting her intentionally. She immediately took advantage of the water still being free from her control and Transfigured them all into a makeshift Shield Charm that was to immediately change the glass to water but Fleur fixed that; she caused it all to disappear with a mere flick and swish of her wand and she used the gesture to guide her back to her usual poised stance. An extremely charming smile was upon her face while Hermione scrambled to her feet, out of breath, and it was a natural reaction for them to immediately be at it again.
The classroom did indeed decay and melt into the outside world, to nature, to the Hogwarts grounds – Fleur and Hermione kept on with their duel, seemingly never-ending, both of them ever growing and never slowing with their learning from each other. Fleur wasn't the only one teaching and Hermione wasn't the only one learning. They continued on and on, the white expanse that was the outside world soon turning to a new expanse of green and blossoming plants, blossoming talents, ripening skills. They both continued to amaze each other, even drawing crowds quite often as they continued through the passing season, always and forever giving their all and never going easy on the other. They learned to never blink, Hermione especially having learnt her lesson from that first afternoon when they discovered this very practical passion they held for one another.
It was vitalizing to push each other harder and make each other stronger. Soon the entire school had their absolute validation that the two greatest minds of their age were together and only becoming greater and greater forces to be reckoned with. Some called it a dance, others a ritual, most a bold declaration in the form of fancy pyrotechnics that they loved gazing intensely at the other and letting their passions for the other fuel their drives to improve, and even for each other. Professors McGonagall and Snape in particular, by rumour, had a bet going that their student would eventually win.
More training had passed, and the sunny days had begun to slip into rainy ones, and nights with thunderstorms in the fourth month of the year. April showers did indeed take over that night near the end of the month in particular that they were once again outside. Hermione tried to avoid at all costs being outside with Fleur were they not duelling – she still had frustrating recollections of how strange Fleur had behaved for those two weeks in January.
The two of them were standing a distance away from each other, near the lake, panting and heaving louder than the pouring rain and cracks of lightning and booms of thunder. Their outfit, their dedication, their growing love – they both shared these quite easily, but Hermione knew that Fleur was losing it. Not her talent; of course not. But those same odd behaviours had begun to come up once again; Fleur was being strangely lusty and mysterious. And no matter how much Hermione knew she secretly revelled in how sexual Fleur was being, it was the uncanny circumstances under which made her so…different.
The nearly black rainclouds surrounding them paled in comparison to Fleur and Hermione; they'd both improved immensely over time and even joked about lassoing some lightning down with which to playfully threaten the other. However playful the sneer was upon Fleur's face, Hermione disliked it and disliked not knowing how or why her seemingly sporadic behaviour overtook her. She still never remembered anything when asked, and yet Hermione knew her frustration was easily something she could transform into arousal at any time she desired; Fleur was clearly desirable, different or not, and she was greedily becoming curious with the Fleur that even desired her so. She even still seemed to desire her darker hair colour, and that new change for Hermione seemed to symbolise a little more than her simple want for a change of appearance.
Fleur finally swaggered forward to close the distance between them, the grass at their feet, and the bone-chilling rain. Hermione kept her stubbornness in her eyes though she knew Fleur was going to do something and yet she would pretend to hate it. A part of her may have even been drugged and conditioned into playing hard to get, only to fuel Fleur's drive even more. When Fleur finally did reach her, she kept her playful sneer while she looked down at her, letting her eyes drink the molten lava that was the intensity Hermione knew she thrived off of so much and so readily. Fleur placed a hand on Hermione's illusorily warm cheek; Hermione immediately felt a painfully arousing shock within from Fleur's touch and proximity alone, and she knew she had grown to love it, to thrive on it – it was inevitable.
Their passions for each other had spun and grown and woven into something so much more magnanimous that she was certain neither of them could grasp what it was anymore and fit it into the smalls of their backs whenever they held each other. Nor could they fit it in the absence of abandon in their kisses, their explorations – these that they'd begun to do without even needing to prompt the other in any way. Hermione knew that she'd one day soon drown in the ocean and whirlpool of the arousal and captivation that was Fleur and Fleur alone. She'd selfishly grown hungry of the blockade to breathe and to instead drink the life that was Fleur's full, soft, insatiable lips that were as such for her. The reminder of that every single time Fleur wrapped her arms about her form, drenched or exhausted or otherwise, she could only lose herself more and more and more until she and Fleur fell right into each other.
And fall they did, quite gracefully at that, but right into the lake this time, both of them even laughing loudly to the rain and lightning and skies just before they crashed the surface together. The challenge to not suck in any of the lake water provoked Hermione further to keep their lips plastered together while they daringly explored the vacuum that was their mouths; their tongues were still free to roam, to goad the other, to press pulses of pleasure but still pain that they could not breathe. They forgot that they were sinking but automatically began to move their legs in sync to propel themselves back up; they kept challenging each other more and more to let their hearts pump as much life into them as possible, pour it into each other, and build their stamina even more for their next daring adventure, wherever that may be.
Varied sea life even seemed to regard them with extreme curiosity while they continued to push each other harder the more they pressed themselves into each other for any drop of survival, knowing full well that it could be found in the one in their arms. Hermione was nearly stinging on the inside because she knew she needed to keep holding her breath and still keep up with Fleur's kisses. It nearly took ages, but their heads soon cracked the surface again, but Fleur still refused to let her lips be pried from Hermione's. She led them back to the grass with ease, still devouring every bit of Hermione's mouth that she could and nearly suffocating Hermione, and most likely herself in the process. It got to the point where Hermione's chest nearly made a loud cracking sound along with her head from the lack of oxygen and she had to push Fleur off of her to roll over from underneath her.
Before she could take the much needed opportunity to swallow the gallons of air she needed and cough the bit of water from her throat, she felt ten long nails and ten hard fingertips and fingers and two palms slowly grab her shoulders while the owner of the loitering suspects straddled her waist and tried to make everything happen again. Hermione was nearly in tears from her extreme need for air and she tried to push Fleur off of her, but Fleur wouldn't have that – she kept trying to reach for her mouth anyway. The frustration began to take over yet again and Hermione nearly did cry while she struggled and struggled to make Fleur release her, but Fleur's hold on her only became more and more voracious the more she struggled.
"FLEUR! GET OFF! I need to BREATHE, unlike you for some reason!—"
"I am your source of breathing, Hermione… now kiss me… just kiss me—"
"Air! I need air! Not your lips at the moment! What is WRONG with you!"
Fleur removed her face from the vicinity of Hermione's, but Hermione didn't have enough time to try and breathe before the, deranged, Frenchwoman moved her hands down to the zipper of her jeans. Hermione jumped from her hips upward when she quickly registered that Fleur was fumbling with the button and zipper in between her monstrosities for nails and immediately bounded away from her. She knew she felt a distinct warmth seep in between her, and she knew she wanted it, but Fleur was being so…so odd!
Hermione scrambled to her feet when Fleur tried to crawl back over to her; she was now desperate to put as much space between them as possible for the first time ever. Fleur merely continued to stay upon the ground, on all fours while she let the pouring rain beat at her back, while she looked up at Hermione who had hot, stinging tears welling up in her eyes. The irritation and confusion was getting to her, no matter how much she simply wanted to lose herself and be as zealous as Fleur was about things…but not this zealous.
She broke her promise..
"Fleur.. you… you said you'd… never… force yourself on me! You promised! Regardless if I even d-do want it right now or not… you're acting entirely t-too strange!"
"Hermione, please—"
"NO! Y-you're scaring me right n-now! And whenever I ask you wh-what the problem is later, you never r-remember!"
"Remember what..?"
"See! There! AGAIN!"
"Hermione…"
"N-no! No, Fleur! J-just… just stop! You're confusing me and.. I'm confusing m-myself, knowing that I want you when you're like this b-but y-you still turn into some m-monster!"
Fleur looked up at her with an extreme degree of apology in her eyes, but Hermione shook her head fiercely when she tried to crawl to her feet. Hermione took several steps back when Fleur swiftly stood and tried to walk towards her, though she knew she could tell that the sincerity in her eyes was real. It was all a horrible combination of being disgusted with herself for enjoying Fleur so much when she changed, and confusion that Fleur even went such strange transformations to begin with. She tried to blink away her tears and let Fleur come to her, but the horrible flashbacks of her possibly near death experience just now was suffocating.
But it wasn't suffocating to let Fleur breach the distance between them and hold her close. Fleur was much gentler this time. She was herself – why there were even two Fleurs to begin with was increasingly mystifying for Hermione. What should have convinced her that this Fleur was just fine was the kiss she received over both of her eyes, but she still felt the white hot trails of frustration leak from her indecisive self. So many things were spinning out of her control, and Hermione didn't know why she thought them to be as such if she had no control over Fleur in the first place. But didn't Fleur love her so? Yes but when was the last time she told her this…?
Hermione found herself aching for Fleur to tell her. Did she not trust her? Did she trust Fleur? Just moments ago, she trusted her hands. She trusted her mouth, her tongue, her passion her lust her soul.. A distinct feeling of her heart dropping to the pit of her chest plagued her, even while Fleur's arms were around her, trying to keep it high. No one else could notice the difference – the endless mass of black robes and smiling faces. They loved to see them together; so close, so beautiful, so bold and fearless.
What if it was all a game? A joke? A lie? A scheme! Surely it was! But why would Fleur play such a horrible trick on her? Hermione no longer seemed to know exactly what was right about the situation, what was left – but she did know that what was left from this situation was always a bout of insecurities. Hermione had grown to hate that Fleur was able to make her so helpless sometimes that she didn't even know where she was. Who she was. What she was…
An overwhelming bout of confusion and aggravation with Fleur, with herself – it overtook her while she shoved Fleur off of her and yelled some incoherent mess that was enough to make Fleur flinch. More and more she tried to vent, but Fleur just ended up blinking her eyes rapidly and shaking her head before running away. Hermione followed right after her, silent now, but she didn't know why they were doing this. Fleur wasn't even running in the direction of the castle, the Forbidden Forest, Hagrid's; it was unknown. All so unknown. Unknown as it was that things with Fleur would be uncertain and hazy and nonsensical more than half the time. Another half of her time was spent missing Fleur merely because they weren't in the same classroom together, but yet another half was spent being entirely too happy with her.
But she hated the Fleur that seemed to want her body more than her, even though she knew that she took absolute pride and pleasure in the way that side of Fleur went about things. Hermione herself knew that she'd been growing a burning want and need for Fleur's body. Fleur's body that, even now, she knew she wanted and Fleur's body that she shouldn't have been literally chasing at the moment. But the want for Fleur, however captivating and desirous the woman was, shouldn't have been so powerful or atrocious or blinding, most especially when the source of the craving was inhuman and not at all who Fleur should have been. The fear put power behind her legs and made her run faster, even though she shouldn't have been chasing her…
Hermione didn't know the why behind anything anymore. The needy and same time uninhibited side of herself melded into a made-up anger and hatred of a woman that Fleur probably had no control over, why it could even take over not making any sense at all. Maybe it was that time of the month and her own emotions were running out of control like she herself was. Maybe she needed help. Maybe she'd just been too secluded for too long, and having even but one taste of possible release was too much for her.
Or maybe she just needed some kind of…assuaging.
Hermione kept following Fleur, though she was still very much out of breath and not in the mood for running, but she needed something. She kept following her even though she was telling herself that she hated half of Fleur but still loved the other half and was completely lost as to why the other half even existed at the times that it did.
She followed Fleur because she wanted something from her. And not sex.
Hermione continued to chase Fleur down the drenched fields of grass, through the air that still flashed of lightning and boomed of thunder on occasion but still never beating the sounds of their running and panting. The smell of water in the air and an overwhelming, lingering love for at least some façade of Fleur kept her going full-speed after her. She didn't know why Fleur was even still running. She herself didn't know why she was still chasing after her. Hermione had no idea why they were running in the first place…
She didn't know anything anymore. Fleur always reduced her to some heap of idiot, when any other time they'd be perfectly, perfectly happy and she was always the sweetest, perfect gentleman. But then let her click outside and she's the hungry Veela with no regard for her girlfriend's wants. Fleur was the only one who made her confused when at any other time, she'd have her answers in less than a second or a flip of a page in a book away.
Fleur turned around right when Hermione couldn't take it anymore. She saw the tears still cutting down Hermione's face; Fleur knew it wasn't the rain. Fleur had stopped and turned to face her, but Hermione kept running at her. Hermione nearly ran her over with everything she had. And even though Fleur didn't do anything except hold Hermione in her arms, Hermione somehow felt the release. Not complete release, because she was still crying.. But it was release nonetheless. Hermione didn't know if Fleur would snap again and change back, and that horrifying prospect made her shove Fleur off of her and start running herself in no direction in particular.
Of course Fleur was right on her heel, but Hermione wished her heart and mind would make themselves up; she was tired of doing the work. She continued to cry, wondering how Fleur could do this to her. Why she was doing it to her…
"Hermione, stop!"
Hermione only ran faster while she shut her eyes. The tears were stinging, just like Fleur's obvious concern and the assurance that she hadn't switched. The obvious solution was to just go back inside, but that was too much of a temporary solution to a completely ambiguous and nonsensical problem! Hermione didn't care that she was being the same, running blindly about the grounds. She should have slipped and fell on the grass ages ago, or ran into a tree, a building, something…
But she could not deny that Fleur was guiding her. Fleur had so much control over her, even when she couldn't notice. Hermione was needy and scared and insecure. She was bossy and stubborn and full of bravado. But only when she remembered to be as such. And when she forgot…Fleur was there to fill the void, even though all of this was doubting Hermione's trust in Fleur to see who she really was anymore. The real Hermione had begun to hide behind Fleur and isolate herself from her friends. The real Hermione used to hide behind dusty old textbooks and grades, but thence came along Fleur who could do anything without even lifting a finger.
And yet that same Fleur was still chasing her. She was still guiding her, even still with her eyes shut against the blades of the rain and tears against her eyes. Hermione slowed down and stopped. She shouldn't have been running. She should have been panting and coughing like Fleur was behind her, but she strangely couldn't.
"Why did you follow me?"
"…I'm already afraid of myself.. And now you are, too.. I hate myself, Hermione. But I know…that you don't hate me… no.. you're just.. confused… I don't.. understand…what's wrong with me… But Hermione you are right with me.. you are… You are.. What am I doing to you..?"
Hermione slowly opened her eyes and took in the vision of Fleur's field of flowers just one step away from her. She would have ran straight into the batch of normal flowers if she hadn't stopped. But her body didn't stop shuddering from the cold of the rain. Fleur was just as confused as she was…this wasn't a game. How could she even think so horribly of her? Hermione was always so quick to judge, and she made that mistake seven years ago with Fleur already. Here she was, doing it yet again…
And yet Fleur still saw so much more…and she was still trying hard to catch her breath behind her.
But could Fleur see that much deeper inside of her right then? Could she see that Hermione was shivering for her touch, but still screaming for her to stay away? Hermione had no confirmation about anything. So what if part of Fleur could kiss her as if she were the only one who'd fed her in years? And if not that, then the only one who knew how to feed her passions; gentle, ardent, wild – they could be any combination of the three, together. And yet what was the solution to this problem? Staying indoors their whole lives wouldn't solve anything.
"Please Hermione, don't run away from me again…you're scaring me. I'm scaring m-myself. I've d-done something to you, just like you said… but I don't know if I really did.. I don't remember… Have I..?"
"You have. You've done everything imaginable to me by just looking at me. You wrack my brain and wrench my heart in ways that make me feel hurt and loved at the same time. Whichever you it is that I'm talking about, of course. Maybe it's the vertigo, again. I don't know. But I'm doubting who you are and I don't know how to fix this. This being..."
Fleur said nothing. Hermione made to take a step forward to simply get away from her, no matter how badly she knew she wanted to just run back into her arms that very second. And yet she stopped the second she even thought to do it. But it wasn't Hermione herself that made her legs stop; it was her. Her words that shocked her and sent her higher and rang louder within than any bold of lightning ever could. Her words..
Her tender words…
"I love you, Hermione… truly. From what you just said, you p-probably don't believe me. You probably think I'm lying b-because of this disease, this thing I can't control, this whatever i-it is.. But y-you helped me become aware of it now.. I'll fix myself, I swear I will.. or maybe it just…has to do with you. Maybe it's your fault.. have you ever thought of that..?
"M-maybe my love for you is like a fever.. now it most especially is, out in the open where Enchantments can't compress my desire. And it's longing still for that which fuels this disease even more. It's not the vertigo, Hermione! I love you and whatever's wrong with me is feeding off of that! I don't know for certain but I feel it! And I always have this craving for you, for it, to make it all stop but it just ends up getting worse and worse however sporadic these shifts are.
"Trust me, Hermione.. I can feel what the problem is but I don't know how to control it… I'm beyond the point of being cured.. trying to find one may end up killing me because I just can't live or give if living is without you. My thoughts are crazy and none of this will ever make any concrete sense to you.. Because everything you know must be concrete for you to analyse and dissect..
"And yet… you know something..? I told you that there's a voice inside of me, telling me to give, give, give to you… I told you I was getting to the point of insanity from needing your touch.. but it's when you push me away like you had to do just now that makes me get worse.. and you're afraid of that. So all of this really is a disease..
"But if it's a disease to be in love with you, then so be it. If it's a disease to cry every time you run from me when all I want to do is hold you in m-my arms, then fine.
"And if it's a disease to die if you can love me back, then I'll take it.. I'll deal with it. If you're scared, then why can't you tell me that? What happened to us? Why can't you trust me?"
Hermione felt like a phantom while she barely registered her body turning slowly around to face the one who had just said all that she never thought possible for anyone to say to her. Her heart was stinging and still somehow so warm, easily shielding her from the cold despite her numb body. What stung her the most was what she was bearing witness to; something she knew no one had ever seen in years –
Fleur really was crying… sobbing, even. Silently. But she still was. Fleur. Crying. She made her cry. Hermione thought that such a thing was impossible. But she had powers over Fleur that neither of them knew not. Fleur had the same effect on her. And her words… God they all made sense. She had drank every single one of them as they floated to her, and she was still repeating them over and over in her head as her own voice that she needed to give. They'd both become nearly power hungry for the past four months that she felt so strange.
But even still… Fleur really meant everything that she said. No, it wasn't concrete as to what was afflicting her, but it was all they had. And if it was true…
"Fleur.. God I love you… I love you, I love you, I love you.. But I had no idea.. I didn't even consider the possibility of… I didn't consider anything.. I'm so, so sorry…"
And Hermione was ever so thankful that Fleur allowed her to walk the short distance between them and hold her for a long while out there that night. She wished she could take back her yelling and screaming from earlier, but maybe she wouldn't have prompted Fleur to take that final step with her words. Fleur didn't shift at all during the entire time that they stayed there. It finally was this moment that Hermione learned what it truly felt for Fleur to hold her with her approval. They weren't even crying; they just wanted to keep holding onto the other for answers; for the kindling of tender feelings that no one could ever know but they themselves.
But whether Fleur's problem was vertigo, another disease, a coincidence – it was unknown. Something Hermione knew she needed to get used to faster than she'd have liked, but vowed to do so anyway.