The latter part of the chapter is somewhat random. I just wanted to show some interactions between the two where they could talk so casually yet they could be very awkward in the next. My big thanks to x-Minri-x, KHR Lover, goatLet, puripuri, Caroline, Hurricane59Uri and Rieyama Yuuko for taking their time to review. Also my big thanks to those who gave their time to read. I'm kinda fast with update since I have a loose schedule but once school starts, my updates would be slow.
Disclaimer: KHR is not mine.
It was Hana he saw on the flower shop when he returned to the place a few days later. He merely gave his order and waited as she prepared the flowers for him. He was tempted to ask about Haru but held his tongue. After all, Hana is shedding off a hostile vibe. Not that it mattered anyway.
He left the bill and did not wait for his change. He immediately left, his feet leading him to a place he was reluctant to visit. He wasn't sure if he was indeed prepared to come here. Bringing out a stick of cigarette, he lit it up and tucked it between his lips as he continued treading the path that would lead to the one stone that Gokudera knew held his father's remains.
When finally he reached that place, he debated whether to leave immediately after setting the flower down. A few minutes of careful thinking, he decided to linger for a while as he stared above, smoke coming out from his lips as he blew a little.
"Guess it doesn't hurt to linger a little," he muttered to himself then looked down once more at the stone where his father's name was engraved beautifully. "Tch. We never really had a good relationship," he said casually. "Ever since I was young, I disliked you. You always get in my way of life. You always did until I grew up." He drew a deep breath as disbelief crossed his green eyes for a moment. He found himself suddenly pouring out in front of a stone. "I don't know who to really hate before you know – was it mom because she left you? Me? Or was it you because you allowed her to go?"
He kicked a pebble nearby with his left foot then bent to pick it up, discomfort feeding his very being. He played with the pebble as he tossed it up and caught it once more. "I guess I really don't know what to say coming here." He knew the words he has to say but he could not force it out from his mouth. He sighed and tucked his hands then left without another word.
He wondered how saying sorry seemed the hardest to do. It was supposed to be so simple yet so difficult at the same time. As he rubbed his hands to warm them against the December cold, he couldn't help but wonder if he ever said those words to Haru as well.
Lambo slowly stood up from his seat when his teacher was not looking and immediately picked his bag as he stealthily went out of the classroom, ignoring I-Pin's shake of the head. He sighed in relief when he successfully made it out of the classroom and he gleefully ran out all the way outside the school building only to bump into someone else before he could reach the last door.
"Watch out, will you?" he said gruffly, a tone he had finally managed to adapt from observing Gokudera before. He always wanted to act like Gokudera – cool, gruff and well, intelligent. But forget about the latter part. He can never be that.
Sliding past him, he made another run only to be pulled backwards by the collar of his shirt. Surprised and annoyed, he looked back to finally give the man a glance only to have the annoyed look wiped out from his face.
"Where the hell do you think you are going, stupid cow?" came a much gruffer voice as Gokudera was scowling at Lambo who was caught red-handed.
"Eh? What are you doing here?" he asked instead, trying to find his way out of this without getting an earful from the man who acted as his big brother ever since.
The silver-haired released him and tucked his pocket. "I'm having a trip down memory lane," he said sarcastically before he jerked his thumb inside. "Are you going back or not?"
Lambo debated whether to run or not but decided on the former. He meekly went inside as Gokudera followed suit, making sure he will really enter the class. "I wanted to hang out with you guys," Lambo said although he sounded lame but it was the truth.
"Tch, how many times do I have to tell you to take your studies seriously? What's the deal with hanging out with us when in the first place, you should not. We are adults cow and you're still a teen."
The boy who is always smooth when it comes to girls bowed his head a little as they climbed the stairs up. "I want to spend as much time with you because I know you will be gone any time," he said in a childlike voice which surprised Gokudera as he stared at him in. Finding his reason so stupid, Lambo immediately run back but Gokudera's words stopped him. It seemed the man had forgotten they are in a school premise and that shouting would attract the attention of the others.
"That's plain stupid you imbecile!" Gokudera scoffed. But his features softened nonetheless. "You can have sleepovers there if you want to. Don't try skipping class, Lambo, I'm just outside," he said the last sentence with warning and Lambo knew better than to actually challenge Gokudera. He shook his head and wondered how he came to admire a man who did not even finish college and went on trotting the globe instead. But then again, it was him who found Lambo when he was lost. It was him who acted like a family more than his adoptive family. If it wouldn't be too much asking, he would have asked the then teen Gokudera to adopt him and take him away from the Bovino family.
From where he was left, Gokudera watched as Lambo went back before he decided on what to do. He wondered why he came here in the first place. Perhaps just to check on Lambo, he reasoned. Leaning on the wall near the staircase, he brought out a stick of cigarette but did not get to light it up when someone spoke.
"Even when you grew up, you never did know when to follow simple policies, herbivore," a bored tone said making Gokudera scowl to look at the man leaning from a nearby door. Hibari Kyouya stood there in all his mighty glory, giving off the same killing intent he always loved to exude.
"Tch, bastard." Gokudera spoke gruffly but walked towards the man nonetheless and jumped back three times as Kyouya's tonfa came lashing at him at a speed Gokudera had always known. "Always the same greeting I see."
Hibari finally kept his tonfa. "I just want to make sure you haven't gone rusty. What are you doing here?" he asked.
Gokudera knew that he wasn't close to Hibari like he was close to Yamamoto or Tsuna but still his relationship with him is special and different. It was born from mutual respect from each other. From the outside, they seemed to dislike each other especially during their younger years. But in reality, they had an odd way of showing how they consider each other as friends.
"Passing time."
Hibari motioned for him to step in. gokudera did so. "For how long?"
Gokudera was quiet for a moment. "Depends."
Walking towards his seat, Hibari pulled out a folder from the drawer before he sat down. "I heard you were back a few days ago and thus prepared this for you," he said and pushed the folder towards Gokudera's direction. "You might want to take a look at it while you're here."
Interested, Gokudera leaned over to take the folder and started reading the contents before he sighed and rubbed his face. "So, how long had this been going?" he asked, a different expression marring his features.
"Just for the past few months."
Taking the folder with him, Gokudera sighed. "They never said anything."
"They never knew."
"Lambo had been going through this for the past few months and never said anything?" he asked again, his temper spiking. Someone is getting an earful later.
Hibari leaned on the chair. "I figured he never said anything. That was taken during his session with a psychiatrist. He always said it was family problem."
"From the way I saw it, he is growing up like you and the one who could best help him would be you. It is always obvious how he wanted time to live with you."
The silver haired was quiet and pondered about it. Hibari studied the man carefully before he continued speaking. "But I wouldn't suggest to anyone that you take him knowing you would leave in no time. But then again, if you are that much concerned about him, why don't you stick out here instead?"
Expectedly, he scowled accompanied with a glare. "The hell! Why is everyone else making an issue about me going away?"
The raven haired shrugged. "That was just a suggestion. What do you plan anyway? You always monitored how he is doing with his studies yet you don't want to act on it now that you've found there is a problem with the teen."
"I'll think about it." He stared outside and wondered how he could talk comfortably with the guy and can share some of his thoughts which he doesn't do with the rest. "I never wanted to be confined in this place."
"You always think like an herbivore. I always thought you would have changed that line of thought in the few years of wandering," he said in mock tone and stood up towards the mini-bar of his office and filled two glasses with wine, his left hand handing the other one to Gokudera who took it and nodded in thanks. "If coming back here makes you feel so suffocated that you wanted to get away immediately, then why do you bother coming back for a few days once in a while?"
Gokudera had no answer to that. Or at least he could not tell Hibari that despite not wanting to be confined here, he always felt like being pulled back. "Never mind answering that, herbivore," Hibari said and sat down. "The other herbivore is getting married. I received the invitation a few weeks ago."
"You going?"
"Why would I? it is always a waste of time for me," Hibari answered carelessly. Gokudera knew better though so he did not ask further. "So, tell me where you had been going for the past few years."
"Before that, I heard rumors about you and Adelheid something. I forgot the surname," he said while Hibari raised his brow.
"My relationship with her is none of your business herbivore."
"Right." Gokudera mockingly agreed.
Haru tightened her sweater as she walked along the road, a folder in one hand. She had just come from one of the companies she was applying into when someone called for her. Turning around, she found Gokudera and Lambo, the latter waving his hand at her in glee while the former was scowling, something in his expression seemed off.
"Lambo," she greeted cheerfully and cleared her throat before turning her attention to Gokudera. "Gokudera-kun."
"Where've you been, Haru?" Lambo asked, earning a hit in the head when the man behind him scowled.
"Show some respect you stupid cow!"
Haru was about to get angry at the sight but changed her mind upon seeing Lambo pouting childishly while Gokudera was simply standing there in awkward silence. "I went applying for a few jobs."
"How'd it go?" it was Gokudera who asked this time.
She simply shrugged before shivering once more. "Tough. My credentials are not the problem. It's just that there are no vacancies," she answered politely and tightened her hold once again making Gokudera frown at her before taking off his coat and handing it to her.
"It's freaking cold and you only wore that thin sweater?" he snarled at her, his temper spiking for unknown reasons.
"I don't need it," Haru said defiantly, not liking the man's tone.
"You obviously need it, woman so take it," he insisted in a gruff tone. "You ought to take care of yourself. You easily catch cold if I remember."
The fact that he remembered an important part of her health surprised Haru and she gaped at him for a few seconds before she reluctantly took it and wore it. "Thank you, Gokudera-kun," she said and smiled a little.
"It's nothing. There is a bonnet at the side pocket. You can use it," he said and glanced at his watch. "Want to grab some coffee nearby?"
"Yes," Lambo immediately answered.
"Shut up, cow," Gokudera snarled.
Haru raised her hand and shook her head slowly. "I'm sorry."
For a moment, there was another awkward silence which Gokudera broke a few seconds later. "I'm not asking you for a date like the first time we talked a few days ago."
She wasn't sure if she felt relieved or she felt stung by his blatant remark. She decided it was the former. She doesn't want to be involved with him in any way if possible. It is enough that they will attend the same wedding.
She forced a smile. "I'm sorry if I implied that you were – "
"I am not going to force you," he cut her off. "How about applying at Yamamoto's sushi restaurant? I'm pretty sure the baseball freak would pretty much need a woman's hand in there."
Before she get to answer, someone interrupted them.
"Gokudera-kun, is that really you?" a bewildered voice asked and a woman with strange fashion walked towards them. Realizing it was indeed him, she squealed in delight and went towards him, gave him a kiss on the cheek much to Haru's chagrin who was standing there watching. Lambo rubbed his nose and remained a bystander, trying to guess again who this woman is.
"Shitt P."
"It really is you! You're really back!" she said in a voice filled with so much excitement. Gokudera stared at her before he nodded and grinned.
"Glad to see you're okay," he acknowledged her.
"I always am. Say, what are you doing here standing about in the sidewalk?" she looked around then frowned the same with Gokudera. "Wait, I was sure you were talking with a brunette a little while ago. She looked familiar."
"It's Haru," Gokudera provided then turned to Lambo. "How the hell did she disappear without me noticing it?"
Lambo shrugged his shoulder. "I don't know."
Gokudera sighed then turned back to the woman in front of him. "You never changed. Much as I would like to talk with you a little longer, I am afraid I have to catch up with her. We were talking about her employment."
Shitt P nodded. "I see. Are you two dating?"
For a moment, Gokudera was tempted to say he wanted to date her but chose otherwise as he inwardly reprimanded himself. How many times does he have to remind himself that Haru is off the list? He might be in the market scoping for potential wife but it doesn't mean he will have to include Haru? She's…different, he decided. "No."
She brought out her mobile. "I haven't had communication with you after we hit college. Mind if we keep contact with each other? For old time's sake."
He dictated his number and she did the same. Shitt P smiled. "It's nice to see you again and know you are doing okay. I'll talk with you some other time then."
He nodded and tucked his hands. "Yeah. How about dinner tonight?" he asked and Lambo rolled his eyes.
Smooth, real smooth.
"I would not mind," she answered and walked away.
Lambo then decided to speak. "So, who is it? Haru or her?"
He received a glare first. "I thought I told you to call Haru politely."
They started walking in a hurry. "I first did when I met her way back but she said it was alright for me to call her by her name alone. She helped me once when I was in need of cash."
Gokudera gave him a speculative look. "Just how sorry looking are you? First, I found you when you were five. Haru helped you when you were in need of cash."
"Hey it wasn't my fault my wallet was stolen that time," Lambo argued, glad that the dark mood looming over Gokudera a while ago was finally lifted. It means, he can argue against him if he wanted to. "So, you haven't answered my question. And I never really knew that you are hitting on Haru."
A hit on the head once more. "I wasn't hitting on her, stupid."
"Then on the other girl?"
"Will you just shut up and pack your things? From this point on, you will live in my house."
"Your house?" Lambo asked in surprise. "You have a house? Or are you referring to the apartment?"
"Stop asking so many questions and just do as I say!" he barked and raked his hair. "Damn, Haru must have gone home already."
"Perhaps she got jealous."
Gokudera stopped then smirked. "That would be wonderful if she did. But Haru is not the jealous type." He tossed Lambo a key. "That's the key to the house."
"You seriously have a house here?"
"Is that hard to believe?" he challenged.
"Well yes. You simply trot the globe using your father's wealth, I heard."
Gokudera chuckled. "I did huh? Keep it a secret Lambo. That was bought years ago while I was away. Ask the baseball freak for directions. I've got a date tonight so I would be out to look for things to give."
Lambo scratched his forehead before finally speaking again. "What a two-timing guy. I have to go," he said and ran away before he could receive another hit.
Gokudera watched him run before he brought out a pack of cigarettes then lit one. He really ought to start forgetting about Haru. But damn it is difficult to do so knowing she is just nearby, knowing she felt the same way.
Gah, it's so vexing to learn that a womanizer like him is hung up on a woman who left him years ago and dated his rival.
Till next time…
Those were her last words to him before and it's one of those he remembered about her. He shook his head. "Damn it, start looking for a potential wife and stop thinking about her," he admonished himself while scowling so deeply that it frightened a teenage boy nearby.
He decided to start with Shitt P. He had no complaints about her when they dated before so if he could just get her to agree with him, it would solve his problem already so he could leave the town and get away.
But what about Haru? His inner self asked and Gokudera felt like he had gone crazy talking to himself along the road while smoking.
He shook his head. Haru wanted to put down roots. It is something he does not have the capability to provide. It's disheartening to realize that the first woman he came to care about is also the same woman he could never have much as he wanted to.
I deeply apologize for the grammatical errors. I tried to minimize it the best I can and I appreciate it if you point out the errors I failed to notice so I could edit them. Thank you so very much.