Alicia Keys - Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart
If you haven't heard the song before, it's best to listen to it first :)
THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN UPDATED! Because I didn't like the old one after reading it over again.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock or Irene or any other characters, nor do I own any of the songs.
I could still hear her. Her soft musical voice and, when she was angry her fiery and cold tone. I can't get her beautiful voice out of my head and I detest it.
Irene.
She loves me. She had become attached to me and now, she was becoming more and more dependent on me. That was obvious from the way she would expect me pick up a coffee for her in the morning and leave her stuff in my room, knowing that I would bring it back to her's.
I'm not exactly the most reliable or responsible person, when it comes to big, important things. Yes, I could be a gentleman and buy her flowers and remember her birthday but that's my limit.
If I had continued with this, then the day when I just up and left because I had an interesting case or something had captured my eye, what would happen to Irene then? I couldn't do that to her. But I cannot abandon whatever my calling might be.
Also, what if something else stopped me from going? Something, that I couldn't ignore or forgot about or delete? What if I fall in love with her?
That what I had thought, but only now it seems that the penny has dropped. I am in love, and love leads to more serious matters. Like marriage and children. Did Irene want all of that? I had never actually asked. From him? Maybe. They were both already 22 years old.
I am most definitely not ready for any commitment like that. I had to get rid of her, before either of us became anymore attached.
But, now, there was this unexpected and painful side effect.
He missed her.
So much.
But, he wasn't one to cry over people and beg for forgiveness.
He was going to make it without her.
Sherlock took a deep breath as he tightened the tourniquet around his upper arm. He had only tried this once before but he had promised Irene he would never do it again.
But that didn't matter anymore. Irene was no longer his.
He quickly found a vein and push the needle in and held down the plunger. Dropping the needle, he undid the tourniquet and felt the drugs flow to his heart.
His eyes started to cloud over and his senses numbed. He was at peace.
For now.
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