AN: Out of length, speed and ease, I choose speed.

Touhou owned by ZUN. Negima by Akamatsu. They have so many similar elements.

Marisa stared at the pills she stole from Negi's bag. Magical catalysts, the book said they were. Thank you Patricia Rae Chalmers' Theory of Paraphysics! It was surprisingly detailed and even though Marisa didn't know anything about the magical world, she could understand the processes for incantations, the difference between western and eastern mages, even pactios. All this, and all she was able to do was Practe Bigi Nar stuff. Pathetic.

So when an opportunity like Negi presented itself, who was Marisa not to take it?

"Are you still reading?"

Marisa grinned her trademark grin in the face of her roommate's icy stare. "You still playing with dolls?"

"I do not play with dolls, Kirisame. I-"

"Yeah, yeah. I was planning to sleep, actually. Have a big day tomorrow."

"Really."

Yes, Marisa thought, Really.

"Uh."

Reimu was concerned that it would be difficult to wake Negi up early for morning chores. The good news was that this was not going to be a problem. The bad news was that a ten year old was in her bed.

Suika was well acquainted with Reimu's many and various ways of waking her up. Water, loud noises, physical violence, Suika was familiar with them all. Never had she been woken up by Reimu screaming. Well, she actually had, but before it was her Hakurei was screaming at.

Negi trembled before the mighty Shrine Maiden. His mouth, amazingly, tried to form an explanation. "W- well, I used to sleep with my sister, so-"

"Did you usually kiss her? Is that a Welsh thing? Will I need to lock your room up? No, don't answer, I'll work it out later! Suika!"

The petite girl, who was watching the scene from the doorway, stood to attention, "Yes, Hakurei-san!"

"It's your lucky day, Ibuki! You don't have to sweep the courtyard or scrub the floors!"

"Yes, Ha- Really?"

Reimu picked up Negi by the arm. "You will show Prodigy-sensei the cleaning supplies and instruct him in cleaning duties, both inside and out!"

Negi could only manage a feeble, "Wh- what?"

"Yes, Hakurei-san! Um, does the whole 'can't go to class until everything is done' thing still apply? Uh, the way you're glaring at me seems to suggest- Yes, of course it does. Sorry, Hakurei-san."

Negi was able to articulate a much clearer "What? But I'm a teacher! Your teacher! You can't stop me from going to clammmph!"

Despite being of a similar size, Suika managed to restrain and muffle the struggling Negi. "Permisson to leave to do chores now, Hakurei-san!"

"Go."

"Right! This way, Prodigy-sensei!"

Negi missed magic. Though she didn't have to, Suika did help. In fact, Negi guiltily thought, she did quite a lot, saying "No point me just standing around!" If he could use magic, the whole business would have been much quicker. As it was, he had to resort to muttering wind spells in the corner of the courtyard when Suika wasn't looking.

It was all done, though and they still had plenty of time for class. Suika watched Negi's face of relief, then said, "You know, usually between Reimu and I, one of us'll take the indoors whilst the other takes the outside. I wonder what she did today, since we did both." She smiled.

They smelt the answer before they saw it. The promise of food caused both of them to run to the kitchen to see Reimu setting the table.

Reimu didn't even look up as she said, "No."

"No?" said the famished pair.

Now Reimu did look up them, if only to glare. "I can't even smell the food over your stench. Clean yourself up first."

Negi went pale.

Noticing this, Reimu continued, "Oh, and neither of you are getting breakfast unless both of you are clean."

"Hey, Misty, d'you think Prodigy-sensei's alright?"

"I'm actually not sure. He looks exhausted. Do you think its because of the party last night?"

The morning would be among Negi's bottom five mornings. Between getting thrown out of bed so early in the morning and being ordered to clean the shrine, he himself was cleaned thoroughly by a ravenous Suika. And now he knew why Hakurei and Ibuki were late on the first day. The Hakurei Shrine was on the very border of Gensokyo, and they had to run to get to class on time.

At least breakfast was really good. At least if it stayed in his stomach. He felt a bit sick.

Stuff that probably won't happen but the author finds amusing and has to write (or STPWHBTAFAAHTW for short):

The Devil Went Down to Georgia

The two girls stared at each other across the square. Emotionless gaze met blank stare. No boasts or put-downs were spoken. Both believed in actions over words. In fact, only one was uttered.

Adeat.

The two artefacts sprung into being in the hands of their masters. It was then that Lunasa spoke.

"So, it will be a duel between violinists."

Brigitte nodded.

"Indeed. But you can surrender."

"Unlikely."

Brigitte put the Findicula Lunatica to her shoulder and played a single note, levelling the building behind the Prismriver.

Lunasa was unfazed. "Your note was a bit flat, I think."

She then put her artefact to her shoulder, and started to play…

…

Brigitte, have you def- Are you crying?

"I'm sorry Fate-sama! But I'm too inadequate as a partner! I'm too weak, and I can't even play my artefact properly!"

What.

"I'm just a useless wood sprite, only good for my horns. I'm pathetic! I-" The rest of the sentence was cut off by sobbing.

I'm sending the others to you.

…

Okay, have you defeated- You're crying. All of you. Alright, I'm coming over.

…

Negi was truly thankful that the Prismrivers had provided him with earplugs. Looking at the figures of Fate and all his Ministra Magi weeping on the ground, he decided that Lunasa's Pseudo Stradivarius was a fearful artefact indeed.

AN: It's a pity, really. I have a soft spot for the Prismrivers.