AN: Just as a quick question, would longer or faster chapters be preferable?
Touhou belongs to ZUN. Negima belongs to Akamatsu. References belong to where they come from, and the song comes from [static].
A Senior Challenge! Save Prodigy-sensei!
…was written on the chalkboard of Class 2A. The class itself would be in a state of chaos, if it weren't for Keine promising that she would personally deal with anyone who caused a fuss.
"Class, the situation is this. Our teacher has been kidnapped by perverts. Are we are a bad enough class to rescue our teacher?" She frowned and muttered, "I have never said anything like that before and I hope I never say anything like that again. Anyway!" The class jumped at the sudden exclamation. "They have challenged us to a game of dodgeball. Looking at our class roster and looking at the various sports we do, I am pleased to nominate our own members of the dodgeball team."
This was met with complete silence.
"You know, because the middle school's dodgeball team only consists of five people from this class."
...
"I sense a problem."
Sanae slowly raised her hand. "Well, since being part of a sport team was compulsory, the dodgeball team was formed for the people who had…other duties."
At that, Reimu, Marisa, Sakuya and Youmu instantly became part of the window, wall and ceiling observation club.
"You're kidding me," Keine said, with a hint of desperation.
Sanae looked at the others, "Well, do you think that us five would really be in a team together? I mean, like I would be the same team with a failure like Hakurei!" Reimu glared at her. "And Sakuya and Youmu really aren't the most social people."
Keine put her head in her hands. "Please tell me you guys have actually played the game outside of PE."
Sanae looked sheepish. "We did watch that American film together. We had a laugh."
"They had a different style of game than what we're used to playing though," Marisa mused, "Multiple balls for one."
Keine only moaned in response.
Reimu raised her hand, "How many people are we going against, again?"
"Eleven, I think."
"So apart from the five of us, who's going to play?"
Keine nodded. "Good question. Any volunteers?"
At that, the window, wall and ceiling observation club gained a multitude of new members.
"So, Class President Kamishirasawa-san," Principal Yakumo said, "What's this all about Springfield's teaching position being decided over a dodgeball game?"
Keine looked at her cautiously. They were sitting in the stands overlooking the court. The match had gathered quite a large crowd. Not only was the rest of the class watching, a sizable portion of the staff and student body were also there. Gensokyo always loved a show.
"Oh, it's nothing like that, Principal! It's just an inter-year bonding experience!"
"Really? That's not what the captain of the Black Lily Flowers says."
Keine frowned. "Black Lily Flowers?"
"Kantou's Regional Dodgeball Tournament Championship team!"
Keine's eyes widened. "What?" she gasped as the pre-match music started.
"Ooh! 'Battle without honour or humanity'! Scored for Violin, Trumpet and Keyboard! Nice choice of pre-match music! They'll get Springfield as their teacher if they win by the way."
"WHAT?"
"Dun-dun-dun! Oh, god, this is so epic!"
The class president wasn't the only one that was distraught. The Prismrivers' efforts felt more like a funeral march than anything motivational.
"I can't believe you guys roped me into this," sighed Aya. Momiji murmured her agreement.
"And we still had to let Cirno in," reflected Meiling.
"What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Cirno.
"That we're screwed," Reisen said.
Suika looked at Reimu. "Are we?"
"Oh, it's not like we'll really lose prodigy-sensei," Reimu replied, "And we do have a master plan."
"Really?"
"Class Pres thought it up. Phase 1: Change the rules."
The leader of the seniors narrowed her eyes. "What's with that sack?"
"When you kidnapped Negi-sensei, you challenged us to dodgeball! Well, we're playing western rules! That means multiple balls!" Marisa's declaration was punctuated by Youmu and Sakuya emptying the sack of balls.
Suika grinned. "And Phase 2?"
Reimu didn't respond.
"Reimu?"
Reimu closed her eyes and sighed. "It's a one-phase plan."
"…well, damn."
"Don't worry class! I know you can win!" Negi encouraged. It would have been a bit more encouraging if he wasn't surrounded by seniors preventing him from going anywhere.
"Trust Cirno to get hit in the first three seconds," Reimu muttered, as she ducked under a ball. The seniors had embraced the whole 'multi-ball' rule depressingly quickly. After dodging multiple shots in quick succession, Reimu started to suspect the seniors were targeting her. This was confirmed when she was simultaneously hit by three balls. Being hit whilst leaving the ground served as a nice QED. (If you don't know what that is, look it up. You learn something every day.)
"…well, damn." Was a good way to describe how the match went. If it wasn't for the improbable dodging skills of the team of 2A, the match would have been over very quickly. However improbable dodging skills faded quickly under moves like "Special death blow," and "Triangle attack". They even shouted the name of the attacks, a sure sign of professional anime sportsmanship.
Soon, Marisa was the only one standing on the court. The leader of the seniors smirked. "You were the one that tried to stop us take Sensei-kun, weren't you? This is very fitting."
Marisa cursed the heavens for putting her in this position. She said nothing.
"Come on Marisa, you can do it!" cheered Negi.
"No last words? Fine by me," another senior declared, "It ends here!"
The entire audience held its breath as the ball was thrown. It was a good throw, strong fast, and low. It knocked the breath out of Marisa as it hit her chest. The cheer of the crowd rang in her ears as she looked down to see the ball in her arms.
"Cirno!" she cried, turning to the team sitting on the sidelines, "You're back-"
POW
As Marisa fell down from the impact, time-out was called.
"Yes, hello Gensokyo!" Merlin cheerfully cried, "Having a good time?" There was an enthusiastic response.
"Well, while you're all enjoying yourselves, we would like to remind you of our Middle School Production," continued Lunasa, "A musical, actually."
"The rise and fall of Evangeline the Vampire!" Lyrica announced, "Penned by none other by our very own Scarlet sisters!"
"Oh, Remilia, you gothic girl you!" Merlin chirped.
Negi stared at the musicians in shock. Ran glanced over at the aforementioned gothic girl. Remilia tried to hide under her parasol.
"So here's a preview," Lunasa smirked, "The main theme of Evangeline the Vampire!"
[AN: Lunasa will sing in bold, Merlin will sing in italics, and Lyrica's lyrics will be underlined.]
Dee-do-dee-do-deeee-do!
As the Prismrivers started singing, Keine gathered the forlorn team around.
"Alright, I've got bad news and worse news. The bad news is that the team we're up against are Regional Champions."
"Wait, what?" Reimu asked, "Regional? There's regional dodgeball?"
She attended special classes for anger management,
But she cursed to death the teachers on day one!
"The worse news is that the Principal will give prodigy-sensei to them if we lose."
Youmu blinked. "What? But that's-"
"Really immature! Regional dodgeball, I mean, really! And they challenged middle-schoolers to it! That's – arrgh!" Reimu interrupted.
Mayhem was her game!
And RPGs! She loves RPGs!
"They're just a bunch of shotacons!" Sanae cried.
"That's not even remotely professional!"
"Regional. Dodgeball."
I hear she burns down children,
I hear she kidnaps churches,
And she doesn't wear a HAAAAAAAAT!
As the rest of the team got pissed off at their situation and the other team, Keine went to the usually enthusiastic Cirno.
"Are you scared?"
Cirno tried to scoff. "Of course not! Why would I be scared of them?"
"Well, you are shivering."
But her homicidal vent,
Can be traced to one event,
She was murdered once as a child!
"I'm just cold, that's all!"
"This coming from someone who once ran across the school when it was snowing in only her underwear?"
"I only did that once! Why do people always bring that up?"
EVANGEL!
She once butchered a butcher.
EVANGEL!
I hear she baked a baker.
And once in the palace of the town of Amsterdam, she inspected an INSPECTOOOOOOR!
"Cirno, weren't you the first one to challenge them?" Reimu asked, "Why was that?"
"They were picking on us! Calling us little kids! Telling us to go back to elementary school!"
"And so you took them on."
"Of course!"
Or pretend, or pretend, or pretend…to be a treeeeeee…
[Pose]
(Lyrica, that's not a tree, that's a cactus)
(Oh, whoops)
"So, are you just going let them win?" Keine asked.
"No!" Cirno shook her head vigorously.
Keine turned to the others. "Are any of you going to let them win?"
"No!"
At a time when a spade was called a printing press,
But then the printing press…was invented…they had to change it…
"Well done," Sakuya said as the team went back on the court, softly enough that only Keine heard it.
"…Thank you," she replied, "I guess."
Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum! EVANGEL!
"They wrote the songs," Remilia muttered, as she left the ground, "And had they just had to do that in front of everybody. Oh, I'm going to have to do so much explaining."
"They couldn't be singing about that Evangel, could they?" Negi wondered.
The leader of the seniors contemplated taunting the loli standing opposite. On one hand, trying that with the blonde one resulted in one of her team members being caught out. On the other, this particular loli was easy to provoke into doing something really stupid.
"I'm going to take you down!"
On the other other hand, it didn't seem like there needed to be any stimulus for her to do something stupid.
"Let's end this," she said to the others. The girl to her right charged forward, and threw the ball…
…which was caught.
"WHAT?"
Cirno grinned. "Told you."
The leader of the seniors turned to her teammates, "What in gods' name are you people doing? I've half a mind to-" A ball missing her face by mere centimetres interrupted her. She turned back to see Reimu picking up another ball.
"Are we going to play, or what?"
"Special death blow! Solar fwa-?"
"Hi," smiled Meiling, as she grabbed the ball out of midair. POW.
"Nice one, China," Sakuya complimented.
"It's Meiling, maid-chan," came the retort, "But thanks, anyway."
"Maid-chan?" wondered Aya, making a mental note.
The match had gone quickly downhill for the seniors. Sure, there was a bit of back and forth in the teams, but they were losing ground at constant pace. All of their techniques that had worked so well before were being countered with alarming precision. They even had the gall to make up some of their own techniques!
"Moriya wind strike!" Sanae called.
"Pfft."
"It's not funny, Hakurei!"
This statement just caused Reimu to burst out in laughter.
The senior leader didn't find it funny. It almost got her out!
"Someone pass me a ball!" she ordered. Pause. "Someone?" There was no answer.
"Well, this is fitting," Marisa smirked.
The sole senior on the field glared. "Come on, then! I'll take you all on!"
"Oh yeah?" Cirno charged and threw her ball…
…poorly. It sailed lazily through the air and the senior smiled as she went to catch it. She was surprised to be hit by the two other balls thrown hard and fast by Reimu and Marisa. To add insult to injury, Cirno's lobbed ball bounced of her head in a humorous fashion.
"HA!" Cirno cried in triumph, "You fell for one of the classic blunders! Never go up against a Whiterock when pride is on the line!"
And at that, the crowd cheered.
"How could we have lost?" the senior muttered.
The 2A team had gathered around the liberated child teacher and were excitedly talking about their victory. The senior's gaze fell upon one student. The one who had taunted them. The one who looked like an elementary school kid. The one who stood up to their insults, starting the entire sorry saga.
She picked up the ball. "TAKE THIS, KID!"
The entire team turned and saw the ball, charged with rage and fury heading towards the small girl. Cirno was too surprised to move out of the way. She was even more surprised when Negi pushed her out of the way. Everyone stared in shock as he picked up the ball and stared angrily at the senior.
"That kind of behaviour…" he muttered, "…is NOT ACCEPTABLE!" The statement was crowned with Negi spinning the ball back at high velocity. The senior tried to catch it but the spinning did something that wasn't in the realm of things that were physically possible…
"What the hell?" the senior cried as she tried to cover her de-clothed body. Eventually, she decided that running would be the best policy, screaming, "I won't forget this!" as she went.
Negi went over to Cirno, who was now on the ground. "Are you alright?" he asked, offering a hand.
"I can get up by myself!" Cirno declared, struggling to her feet, "And I didn't need saving, so I won't thank you!" She then stomped off, grumbling.
Marisa pulled Negi close. "That was magic, wasn't it?" she muttered to him in an annoyed tone.
"Yes, but I didn't mean it!" he whispered back.
Marisa looked at his worried expression, and her irritated expression broke into a smile. Why was she irritated at that, anyway? It was cool. "Good job."
"Is there a problem, Marisa?" asked Reimu, who was watching them.
"No," replied Marisa cheerfully, "Nothing at all!"
Excerpt from Log Entry 31839
…
Human found in stream. Pieces of what seems to be an extremely complex watch also found. Must consider further.
It's still alive, but unconscious. Will get medical help if not awake tomorrow morning. Currently, Chachamaru will provide adequate observation. Probably of Asian descent. Probably from the nearby village, yet attire suggests an outsider. Must consider further.
…
Signed, Hakase Satomi, Kappa Engineer.
AN: Review, if you would be so kind. They always warm my heart a little. And I may or may not do a request for the first person who gets where the song comes from.