Note: Let the drama begin! Relationships are always complicated, aren't they?
Chapter 18: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Buffy left the condo not long after she left Angel standing in her bedroom. She needed time to think. She wasn't this person. She didn't get insanely jealous over girls from the past with any guys. Not ever. So why was she now? 'Because your in love with him, idiot!' She said to herself. She decided she would tell Angel later… not that she loved him because she couldn't do that! Not when he had to leave because of his job. His job came first and she had to except that, she would force herself to except it because she wanted as much time with him as she could get. Later, she would tell him that talking about the other women he had been with was upsetting to her. She would just let him sweat it out, make him think she was mad at him and maybe he would learn his lesson… that's the theory anyway. She had to much on her mind to stay mad at her boyfriend. Like the fact that they had, had unprotected sex twice in a week and she could be pregnant. She just didn't want to tell Angel about it yet. She couldn't even take a pregnancy test for a few more weeks and its not like having a baby would make him stay, he made it very clear that the Army was his life. She didn't want a baby either. She couldn't deal with that, she wasn't exactly the motherly type either. There were a million reasons why she shouldn't have a baby.
She looked down at her abdomen, putting her hand over where a baby would be resting. But then again, it would be a part of Angel. She liked the thought of that. She shook her head. 'What the hell am I thinking! I cant have a baby!.. And I don't want one!' She thought dropping her hand to her side. Just then a random thought popped into her head and she remember something Willow had said: Ben thinks we are dating! 'Now I think I'm going to throw up.'
She dug her phone out of her purse and went to dial Ben's number but the screen was black. 'Damn it!' She thought shaking it. She pushed the power button and it didn't come on. She tried pushing it a few more times. "I know the battery isn't dead." she said trying to figure out what was wrong. She hit her cell phone against the palm of her hand and the screen showed pretty colors and turned on. 'Who said violence doesn't solve anything.' she thought going into the address book, finding Ben. She pushed Send and waited for him to answer. She needed to end this and then she would have one less thing to deal with.
When Buffy had called Ben he had been so happy to hear from her she got a little nervous. She knew she had to set him straight though because not only did he bore her to death and he was creepy but she had the most amazing boyfriend now, even if he most likely thought she was mad at him. She wasn't, not anymore. She just wanted Ben to stop telling people- her best friend included that they were dating!
She asked him to meet her at The Mall, he had already almost ruined The Bronze for her. She didn't want to chance going to one of her other favorite places and not wanting to go there every again. The Mall was okay because she didn't spend as much time there as she used to, and there was a bigger and better mall about an hour away that she could go to if she really needed too.
They were going to meet up at the food court, she couldn't eat though. She didn't even feel hungry, with the thought of Ben thinking she was his girlfriend killed her appetite on its own but also thinking about possibly being pregnant and losing Angelus at some point in the not to far away future- she couldn't eat.
Here she was, sitting at the food court waiting for Ben. She looked at her cell phone for the time. The screen was black again. 'What the hell!' She slammed it against the table causing a noise that was a little to loud because the person at the table next to her looked over at her. It helped her phone so she was okay with it. Her phone once again powered on. She finally got to check the time. Ben was late, again. 'Lesson learned, Buffy. If you ever meet up with this guy again- and I hope I done. Tell him an hour before you actually want to meet somewhere.' She said to herself.
Ben walked into the food court and glanced around for Buffy. She saw him but didn't want to wave him over, she needed just a little more time to collect herself and try to hold the bile down that felt like it was about to rise. Sadly, he spotted her a little to soon for her liking. He smiled and walked towards her, sitting across from her and kissed her on the cheek.
"Hey Buffy. How are you?" He asked.
'Wow, 5 whole words!' "Um… I'm… okay. How are you?" She asked getting the pleasantries out of the way.
"Personally, great but work had been crazy! There was a gun shot victim last night! Can you believe that! In Sunnydale? That only happens once in a while, I mean unless there is a gang fight or something." He rambled.
'When did this guy develop a personality?' She asked herself.
"I'm just happy you called." He smiled.
"When did you develop a personality?" She blurted out. 'and when did I become Cordelia? I guess someone needs to fill that void but then again… we have our Anya.'
"What?" He asked confused.
"Nothing. I'm sorry. Look Ben, I called you because I needed to talk to you about something." She told him.
"This sounds serious. What is it Buffy?" He asked her.
"Look, I heard you told Willow that you and I are dating…"
"I did. We are." He said matter of factly.
"As in boyfriend, girlfriend." She clarified.
"Yeah." He told her going back to his one word phrases.
"Ben, I'm sorry but we arnt…." She trailed off not wanting to hurt him. 'Damn it, why do I have to be so nice.'
"Buffy, we went out on a date. We are dating now." he said seriously.
"No… we arnt." She said again.
"Yes, we are. We went on a date to The Bronze, we had fun. We liked each other. We kissed." He told her HIS side of that night.
"Ben, we went out. We didn't have fun. We don't like each other and…"
"We kissed." He said again.
Now Buffy was just getting annoyed. She tried to be nice, she really did but the bitch is about to come out if he doesn't absorb this soon. "Ben! I only kissed you because I thought MAYBE there was a way it could save the night. It was a HORRIBLE first date and it was our last. I have a boyfriend now. A boyfriend with personality and he is totally bad ass! He isn't a nurse!… not that there is anything wrong with being a nurse its just, well I'm pretty sure he could kill you with his bare hands because well he's like trained to do that and stuff, so for your sake don't tell anyone we are dating because if it gets around to him you wont work at the hospital you will be IN the hospital."
"Oh…" He trailed off looking down at the table. All the sudden his head shot up and he looked at Buffy. "So I just cant tell people we are dating but we really are.."
'For the love of my sanity!' Buffy turned her head. There was a child's play area to the left of the food court. Her upset expression dropped from her face when she saw a little girl with dark hair playing and then running to a older man who also had dark hair telling him something she was extremely excited about. Buffy looked down at her abdomen again. Looking back up at Ben she was much more calm now. "Ben, I'm really sorry but no. We arnt dating. I'm with someone else, who I know its crazy but I love him." She admitted to Ben of all people. ".. and I might even be pregnant by him. So please, just drop it." She whispered. She had finally said it out loud.
Ben looked shocked. "Oh… ok…" He didn't know what to say. Buffy said a quick Goodbye and left him sitting there in the middle of the food court. The people who were sitting at the table next to her were watching her threw her whole conversation with Ben and they were still watching her now.
Buffy sighed. She checked her phone once more. She hadn't gotten any phone calls or texts which was weird for her. Her phone normally got more action then she did and since getting with Angel, she was seeing a hell of a lot of action.
After going threw ALL that with Ben, Buffy just wanted to go home and relax. Maybe tell Angel she wasn't mad at him and they should lay on the couch and watch some TV, or cuddle in his rooms, or have sex in her room.. Or sex in his room. She just loved the feel of him, she just loved HIM.
Buffy walked into the house and went straight for the kitchen to get a bottle of water. She took a sip of the water and put it on the counter. She took her cell phone out again and tried to get it working. This time it was on but the buttons weren't doing anything, no matter what she pushed. She hit it again and the buttons started to work. She went to send a text to Willow just to see if it was working. It wouldn't send. Standing there watching her phone as it flashed "Sending…." at her over and over again she got angry and slammed it against the counted. 'I didn't drop it and I don't think it got wet. What the hell is going on?'
"Someone needs anger management." Gunn said laughing as he walked into the kitchen and got into the fridge for a soda.
Just then Buffy's phone got a flood of text. It was never ending. Texts from Willow, Xander, Veronica, Logan, Tara, Keith and Doyle. 32 Text messages! The earliest one was dated for Friday afternoon. 'My phone hasn't been working for that long?' She wondered. She looked at her missed calls, she also had voicemails. 11 missed calls and 6 voicemails. 9 of those missed calls were Angel.
"Is Angel..us here?" She asked Gunn as she opened her inbox to look at her text messages. There were to many. She randomly opened a text from Willow that was sent last night, from the time on the phone it was right after Willow and Oz had dropped her off. The text message said 'Breaking up is hard to do. LOL." Buffy smiled thinking about her conversation with Willow at The Bronze about "Breaking up" with Ben, which she did not to long ago so that made her feel a little better. Then Buffy got 2 more text messages. Over whelmed by the flood of messages she dropped her phone on the counter.
"Up in his room or in the game room." Gunn replied. " When I came down we paused the game we were playing so I could get a drink and he said he needed to use the phone."
"Oh." was all Buffy said as she left the kitchen. 'If he is on the phone, I'm not going to big him.' she thought walking into her room with her bottle of water. She shut the door and sat on her bed, leaning against the head board.
Angel walked out of his bedroom and he thought he saw Buffy's door close. He hurried down the hall and could hear her in her room. He lightly knocked but walked in before he got a response. He saw her sitting on her bed with a bottle of water in her hands. He walked over to the bed and sat down next to her, also leaning against the head board. "Hello Beautiful."
"Hey." She replied with a small smile.
"Do you have a valid ID?" he asked randomly.
Buffy looked at him confused. "The one I buy booze with."
Angel smiled. "That will do."
"Are you going to tell me why?" She asked.
"I thought maybe you would like to go on Base with me sometime. You need a valid ID to get on.. Even if you are with me." He told her.
'He doesn't seem like she spent all today worried about me being upset with him. Maybe he doesn't care.' "Oh.. Well… only if you want…"
"I'm the one asking you. I tried calling you a few times today….you didn't answer. I thought maybe you were still upset with me." He looked over at her like he was a little scared
'Maybe he does care.' She though. "My phone hasn't been working. I'm not exactly sure about when it stopped working." She explained.
Angel nodded. "You need a new phone."
"I don't have the money for a new phone right now." She said leaning her head on the head board watching him.
"Its ok. We can get it on base. I get a discount." He told her.
Buffy shook her head. "Angel, no."
He raised his eye brows at her. "Why not? I need a new one too. We can get one of those family plans. I only use mine for work anyway."
Buffy was about to say no again but he kissed her and said "OK, we can go early tomorrow." He got up and walked to the door.
'That was weird.' she thought.
Angel walked downstairs. It was taking Gunn forever. He went into the kitchen, Gunn was sitting at the table with what looked like Buffy's cell phone next to him. He went to grab a soda and asked Gunn what was taking so long but Gunn looked over at him looking upset. "Sorry about you and Buffy, man."
"What do you mean?" Angel asked.
"When I came down she was in here and asked me where you were. I told her. I was going to give you a minute since she was looking for you but then I saw this…. And well, I'm sorry man." Gunn told him.
Angel was confused. "I'm still not getting you."
Gunn opened Buffy's cell phone and phone the text from Willow, handing the phone to Angel. "There is a call to that Ben guy too."
Angel closed her phone and silently left the room.
Angel stalked up the stairs and busted into Buffy's room. Her eyes were huge. He looked pissed.
"What the fuck is this?" He yelled throwing her cell phone towards her almost hitting her but landing on the bed.
Buffy was a little scared and shocked. Angel had never been anything but calm around her, never even raised his voice in anger. She didn't know what happened or what he would do. She tried to stay calm. "It looks like my cell phone flying at my head."
"You were planning on breaking up with me? What, when you thought you could get something out of staying with me you crossed the break up off your 'to do list'? Your phone is working just fine!" He yelled.
"I don't know what your talking about." She reasoned, getting a little nervous.
"Don't lie to me Buffy. Gunn say the text from Willow, even showed it to me. And there is a call to Ben!" He was pissed and she was getting more frightened by the second. His voice was getting louder every time he yelled.
Realization hit Buffy. "That text wasn't about you! And yeah, I called Ben. He was telling peo…"
Angel cut her off. "What the fuck for! Are you dating him!" He yelled
"If you would let me finish talking I could tell you!" She said raising her voice. Angel looked like that pissed him off even more and she was scared. She never thought she would be scared of Angel… but he turned around and punched her bedroom wall creating a hole. Her Angel wasn't such a Angel to her anymore. "Ben was going around telling people that we were dating, he even told Willow! I knew I had to tell him to stop but it kind of slipped my mind, I have a lot going on right now! So yeah, I called Ben this morning so we could meet and I told him to stop telling people we were dating. He kind of developed a personality and all the sudden didn't want to except what I was saying to him. The text from Willow was about Ben! When we were at the Bronze everyone was joking around saying I had two boyfriends and I needed to lose one and they didn't know who it would be. Willow said Breaking up was hard. Before they dropped me of last night I told her I was going to "break up" with Ben so after I got out of the van she must have text me because today I got the text- the one you saw!" Buffy explained quickly so he didn't interrupt her. She nervously walked closer to him, and handed him her phone back. "It is broken." She whispered.
Angel seemed to have calmed down a lot but he was still angry. She could see it on his face. He opened her phone. "Its off."
"Did you turn it off?" She asked backing away from him closer to the door.
"No. I only shut it." He said a little calmer. He pushed the power button and nothing happened. "What's wrong with it?"
"Hit it against your hand." She told him. He smacked it against his hand causing it to power on.
"Its broken." He said looking up at her.
"Its not the only thing that's broken." She said a tear rolling down her face. She turned and ran out of her bedroom.
Buffy ran all the way to the kitchen in thought that Gunn would still be there. He was. She stopped a few feet away from him and yelled "Stay the fuck out of my stuff!" and turned running back up the stairs. She didn't know if Doyle was home but she was going to go check.
She knocked on Doyle's door, he opened it. "What is going on? Why is everyone yelling? And what was that loud noise a few minutes ago? Buffy what's wrong?" He asked noticing her tears.
"I think me and Angel just broke up." She whispered walking into his room.
"Angel?" He asked a little amused. "Wait, what? Broke up? What did I miss?"
Buffy explained everything to Doyle. That was a lot of drama that happened just because of a broken cell phone if you asked him.
Buffy looked up at Doyle, with fresh tears. "Should I move out?"
"No. Buffy, don't do anything drastic. This will all blow over." He told her. "He punched the wall? As in there is a hole? He is fixing that!"
"I don't think so." She whispered. "Angelus is really mad." She couldn't call him Angel anymore. He wasn't Angel. She didn't think Angel could do that. He had always been sweet to her. She had called him Angel to Doyle in a slip up. She hadn't meant to, his friends didn't know she called him that and he certainly wasn't asking like one anymore. "Maybe I should start packing, just in case. Angelus isn't going to want me here."
"I will talk to him." He told her gently.
"I don't think I can be here. See him everyday." She said, her lip quivering on the verge of spilling more tears.
"Everything will be fine, Buffy." Doyle told her as she got up from the chair across from his bed. 'It has to be. He loves her.' Doyle thought.
Buffy walked back to her room. She was going to grab a few things and head over to her moms house. She didn't know what she was going to tell her mom… maybe that she had just missed her and Dawn so much that she wanted to spend the night. Buffy walked into her room sniffling and saw Angelus sitting on the end of her bed. She thought he would have been long gone by now.
At the sound of her sniffling, Angel looked up. He got off the bed and pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry Baby, I'm so sorry." He whispered into her hair and she began crying harder. "I just… I freaked. I don't think I could bare losing you."
"I cant. Not right now. I have to go." Buffy said quietly.
Angel pulled away from her, searching her face. "Where?"
"My moms." She told him looking down.
"Your leaving?" He asked.
"I'm moving." She said, grabbing a bag from her closet and stuffing clothes into it.
Angel's heart broke. "No. No! Don't. Stop." He told her grabbing the bag. "Don't leave, Baby. You cant leave now." Buffy looked up at him, his eyes sad, pleading her not to leave. She nodded and without saying a word she went to her bed and laid down. She was just exhausted. She felt like she had been crying for a week. She closed her eyes, but as soon as she did she thought about what had happened with Angel. He was accusing her of doing something she would never do, even if she didn't love him, even if she wasn't scared and excited at the same time that she could be having his baby… she would never cheat on him. That wasn't the kind of person she was. Then she thought of how he had punched the wall. There was a huge hole in the wall and she saw some blood on his hand when she walked in. The mental recap made it all so fresh in her mind and she started to cry again. Angel laid down on the bed behind her and wrapped his arms around her, shushing her and telling her it was okay and how sorry he was. She fell asleep to the sound of his now gentle voice. The voice she was so used to.
Buffy woke up the next morning still feeling exhausted. Her eyes were sore, her head was pounding and she felt like she had slept for days but still didn't get enough sleep. She didn't want to open her eyes just yet but she felt something pinning her down. She opened her eyes and saw Angel. He was awake and watching her.
"Your beautiful when you sleep well, actually your always beautiful." He smiled.
Buffy was confused. She felt like she was missing a piece of the puzzle and that one piece held the answer to how and why she was in bed with Angel. The last thing she remembered was walking back to her room thinking of what she was going to tell her mom. She must have been really tired.
When Buffy didn't answer him, he continued. "Ready to go get your new phone?"
Buffy looked at him confused. "What? We got in a fight yesterday, right?" She asked look at the hole in the wall as evidence that it did in face happen. "We broke up."
"I don't want to break up. I don't want you to leave. I cant lose you Buffy. I'm just not willing to let you go." He told her. "Come on. Get up, get showered and we can go. I told you I was going to get you a new phone." He then kissed her on the forehead and went to get himself ready.
Buffy got up slowly, afraid that she was going to fall. She felt so weak. Her fight with Angel and crying for so long had taken a lot out of her. She didn't know if her body was even going to be able to move.