Get ready for a "sniveling, whiny, little cry-Buffy". Just kidding. Lol

Chapter 30: Emotions Going Up and Down

Buffy walked back to the Condo the next morning. Thankfully she left a few clothes and a tooth brush at her mothers so she could shower that morning and mostly get ready. She didn't know how she felt about walking all the way there with no make up on but no one on the street seemed to mind. She stopped by the Expresso Pump and got something to eat and a coffee.

When Buffy got home she could hear everyone in the kitchen. Angel must be cooking again. She walked into the kitchen and saw Angel making pancakes with Kathy. "You wanted pancakes again!" He laughed as he flung some flour at Kathy.

Spike was the first one to notice Buffy. "Hello Cutie."

Everyone stopped laughing and talking to look towards the direction Spike was talking in. They all watched Buffy. "Hey." She said softly.

Angel walked to Buffy, wiping flour on his pants. "Hey." He said giving her a hug. "I missed you last night." Buffy didn't say anything, she just hugged him. "Are you okay?" He asked her.

"Yeah, fine." She said pulling away

"What's been wrong? Nothing with…" He trailed off his eyes glancing down at her stomach.

Buffy looked down and then back at his face. "We'll talk when you are done?" She asked not wanting to cut into his family time.

"Yeah!" He told her. "Do you want breakfast? Pancakes. It has the word cake in it." He teased.

She smiled at his effort to make her laugh. "I already ate, but thanks. I'm just going to go.." She pointed upstairs. "Put some make up on."

Angel leaned down and gave her a kiss. "Okay."

As Buffy walked away Gunn looked at Kathy then Angel. "Trouble in paradise?" Gunn asked Angel.

"No. Not at all." Angel answered going back to making pancakes.

An hour later Angel walked into their bedroom to find Buffy still sitting at her vanity. She looked a lot different then she had the day before, she didn't look as sad about something. She still looked like something was bothering her though.

"Hey, what's going on?" Angel asked Buffy, she turned around on the seat of the vanity.

"Nothing. I was just told to talk to you, so I guess we have to talk." She told him.

Angel sat on the bed. "Told to talk to me? By who?"

Buffy turned all the way around to face him. "I guess even at 21 I still have to take orders from my mother."

"Is that where you went? Your mothers?" He asked concerned about where she was all night. "I tried to call you but your cell phone was down stairs."

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, sorry. I left it down there when… when Spike asked me if I wanted to watch a movie."

Angel looked down not wanting to look at Buffy when she mentioned Spike.

"Look." Buffy looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. Angel looked over at her when she looked at him. "Your family doesn't like me."

"Buffy, my parents. They are like that with everyone. They are just bitter people." He explained.

"Actually, yesterday your dad wasn't all that bad to me. I thought maybe it was because you told him Hank is a lawyer." She said.

Angel noticed she called her dad Hank but didn't say anything. "He was?"

Buffy nodded. "They aren't my biggest problem. They seem to just ignore me more then anything. Its… its yours sister. I know this is a bad subject for you…"

Angel looked at her offended. "A bad subject? You just said the most important person in my life is a problem!"

Buffy took a deep breath trying not to let the fact that his sister was the most important person in his life get to her. "I'm jealous."

"What?" Angel asked softly. He had calmed down as soon as she said she was jealous. He didn't know what she had to be jealous of.

Buffy got up and walked towards the closet door, just so she didn't have to look at him. She left her back facing him. "You just said it yourself. She's the most important person in your life."

Angel stood up from the bed. "That doesn't include you."

"I have never been the most important person in someone's life before. Hell, I don't even think I have ever been important." She said quietly looking at her hands.

Angel was now behind her with his arms around her waist. Resting his chin on her shoulder he said "Your in a whole different category then my sister, Baby."

Buffy wiped a tear from her eye to keep it from falling.

"Hey, your important to me." Angel whispered into her neck.

"Could have fooled me." She said playing with his fingers. She laid her head back on his shoulder. "I just have so much going on and… I need you."

Angel turned her around to face him. "What is it? What's wrong?" He asked her searching her face for clues.

Buffy looked away from his face putting her hands on his chest. "What am I going to do? I am going to have this baby, this living thing that I have to take care of ." She whispered. "I killed my gold fish!" She put her forehead on Angel's chest and started to cry harder. "Your going to leave me and I'm going to have to do it on my own."

"Hey, look at me." He lifted her face to meet his eyes. "I'm not leaving you."

"You have to, its your job." She whispered. "We have only be together a month, its nothing serious." She said thinking about what Gunn told Kathy.

"Its not?" He asked her as she walked away from him.

She shook her head. "Ask Gunn or your sister."

"What?" Angel asked not understanding what she was saying.

"I over heard them talking the other night. I thought maybe you had told Gunn something." She said looking out the window.

"I… I don't talk to Gunn about us." He whispered.

Buffy looked down at the window sill. "I don't know… maybe we should.."

"Your not leaving me, are you?" He asked with fear in his voice.

Buffy looked over at him and shook her head. "I'm here until you tell me other wise."

Angel walked over to Buffy taking her face in his hands and leaning his forehead against hers. "I wont ever tell you other wise."

Buffy closed her eyes. "We have 10 months together. I don't know if that's enough time."

"It… Its not." Angel's voice cracked.

Buffy opened her eyes to see tears rolling down his face. She wiped a tear from his cheek. "You care."

Angel closed his eyes at the feel of her hand on his face. "Of course I do."

"I wasn't sure." Another tear fell from Buffy's eye.

"Just ask." He told her kissing her tear away.

"I have so many things.." Buffy gasped. "I just cant. I cant say it."

Angel looked into her eyes. "Just say it Baby."

"I cant! I cant make it come out. I want to but its so hard." She pulled away from him. "Nothing ever went right in my life. It seems like it was just one giant let down after another… Until I met you. Now it feels like its all just slipping away with each day that passes by." Buffy looked down at the white carpet. "Your on loan."

"No. Not on loan." Angel shook his head. "I'm yours."

"Doesn't feel like it." Buffy said as fresh tears streamed down her face.

Angel wiped the tears away. "Why do you do that, huh? You know I hate it when you cry."

"I'm learning that I hate it when you cry too." Buffy leaned her face into Angel's hand and kissed his palm. Angel kissed her cheek and then her mouth, backing her up against the wall. He lowered his hand to her breast.

"Angel. Angel, no." She whispered. "I cant."

He looked at her questioningly.

"I'm not in the mood. I'm sorry."

"Again?" He asked her. "I must be losing my touch."

"No." Buffy whispered looking into his eyes. "The touch is still there, believe me. Its this." She said pointing to her head. "Its racing on hyper drive and I cant focus on anything."

"Can I help? With anything? Or am I just making it worse?" He asked her.

"No." She shook her head. "You cant help. Its stuff I have to deal with on my own and you don't make it worse. Just you holding me makes it better. Can you hold me?" She cried.

"Of course."

2 hours later Angel and Buffy were still laying in bed, he had his arms wrapped around her. Her head was resting on his chest. Neither one said anything for the past 2 hours. Buffy had fallen asleep for a little while but when she woke up she still didn't say anything. She just laid there in Angel's arms trying not to think about Angel's family, him leaving, having a baby or the fact that Keith Mars was actually her father. She's wasn't upset that Keith was her father, it was just a really big thing to deal with and she couldn't tell anyone because her mother had to talk to Dawn and Keith-her dad had to talk to Veronica. She was blowing her mind that her best friend all her life was actually her sister. 'it's a little odd that we are only 10 months apart too.' She though.

"I want your family to like me." Buffy whispered for the first time since they laid down.

Angel rubbed her back. "Just give it time, baby."

"Time isn't exactly what we have a lot of." She whispered. "I don't feel like I can be around them. It seems like I am just going to be in the way of you spending time with your family. Keith said I should just let you have your time with your family because I'm still going to be here when they leave."

"I will have to figure out a way to still spend time with my family and not feel like I am neglecting you." He rubbed her back.

"Neglecting me?" She asked. "You feel that way?"

Angel kissed her head. "Yeah. They only got here a few days ago and I still feel like I hardly get to see you, that I haven't seen you in so long. I didn't even know you were hurting so badly and that kills me. We should set a time to just come in here and talk. Just because my family is here doesn't mean we stop being a couple."

"Its not your fault. I haven't exactly been around. I told myself I was going to be different with you. I wasn't going to make the same mistakes I made with Riley." She told him.

"What mistakes?" He wondered.

Buffy lifted her head to look at Angel. "I didn't tell Riley a lot of things. He said that's what caused him to cheat on me. That he didn't feel needed. That's my problem, Veronica's too. We always try to be strong and deal with everything alone. She's is actually working on it with Logan, she's doing a lot better then I am."

"What could you have not told Riley that could make him cheat on you? You cant make someone cheat on you, its their actions, their decision. Don't feel guilty for something he did." He told her softly.

"I didn't tell him my mom was sick. I told Logan though and that pissed Riley off. He never liked the fact that I was still close with Logan." She explained.

"Your mom was sick? What? Riley cheated on you over a cold?" Angel joked.

Buffy shook her head. "Brain cancer."

"What?" He asked so softly she almost couldn't hear him.

Buffy nodded. "She got sick during my sophomore year of college. I was actually in the stages of dropping out because we couldn't afford it with moms medical bills but Keith and Giles… you haven't met Giles but he is the school librarian at the high school, they got together and paid for my schooling, even helped mom out with some of her doctors bills and of course everything seemed to go down hill with the house at that time, a pipe burst in the basement… I didn't make it much better by hitting it with a wrench." She heard Angel trying to control his laughter when she said she had hit the pipe. "Giles came to the rescue then too. He paid for everything. I always said having Keith and Giles together made the perfect dad. They proved me right."

Angel kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry that you have been threw so much at such a young age and your did not being around just makes me want to pound his face in."

Buffy wanted to tell him that it turned out Hank Summers wasn't her father after all and that Keith Mars actually was but she felt like she was unloading so much on to him at once. If she told him anymore once of them was going to have a nervous break down and she rather it not be Angel. "Yeah well, life's a bitch and they you die." was all she said.

"No. It doesn't have to be like that." He murmured against her hair. "The fact that Riley walked away from you in your time of need just proves what kind of man he really is, he isn't one."

"Angel." Buffy whispered sitting up and looking at him. "Nothing happened with me and Spike. I wouldn't do that. I've never done anything like that before and I wouldn't do it to you."

"I know. I guess I just got insanely jealous seeing you two together. It was like you would rather be with him then me." He tried to explain.

"When I got home, no one else was here. I didn't know where you were or when you were coming back. Veronica came over for a little while but Logan called her and wanted to meet up with her, I got kind of upset about that… she got to be with her boyfriend." Buffy looked down at the blanket while she was telling him, she didn't feel like she should be telling him that she was feeling left out. She thought maybe she was acting like a child over his family being there. "Spike came home and he told me you all were going to the Zoo so I figured you would be there for a long time and I was bored out of my mind. He asked me to watch a movie and that's it. We talked some but mostly we just watched the movie."

"You were in the same bed as him, Buffy." Angel said wanting to know why she was in his bed.

Buffy nodded. "I started out in the chair. I didn't feel right being that close to Spike in a bed… I didn't move to the bed until a little while before you walked in because there was a glare on the TV and I couldn't see it very well. I know I shouldn't have been on the bed with him to begin with but I knew nothing would happen."

"I know Baby, I'm sorry." He whispered pulling her to him in a huge.

"Why did you have to sleep with his sister?" Buffy asked

Angel paused for a second. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Not in detail but why would you have sex with your friends sister?" Buffy wondered. "Isn't that like against the guy code?"

"I guess. It wasn't just his sister though." Angel looked away when Buffy looked up at him.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

Angel didn't want to tell her but he didn't want to keep anything from her either. "His girlfriend too."

"You slept with his sister and his girlfriend?" Buffy was shocked.

Angel nodded, ashamed. "At the same time."

"You had a three sum!" Buffy shouted.

Angel closed his eyes. "They were into that. They were- are best friends and they did it a lot" He defended himself. "I couldn't- wouldn't do it now though. Since I met you, I'm different. All that stuff I used to do, how I used to act. It feels like a life time ago now."

"Did you like it? The three sum." Buffy asked curiously.

"Buffy.." He didn't want to talk about it with her, he just nodded.

"Oh…" She looked down at the bed. "Of course you did. You're a guy. I mean I heard from a girl that Riley had a three sum one of the times he cheated on me, and Xander always talked about how he would want to have one. I think Oz is the only guy who hasn't said anything about it."

"I'm sorry." Angel whispered.

Buffy shrugged still looking down. "It was before you met me… right?"

"Yes! It was way before I met you. A long time ago. Ever since I met you, your all I think about." Angel told her.

"As long as it was before we got together." She whispered.

Angel hooked his index finger under her chin, lifting her head. "I would never cheat on you Buffy."