Title: Strength
Author: ishala8
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Rating: T (contains mentions of torture)
Word Count: 2944
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Akatsuki would still be its lively self instead of a bunch of reanimated corpses.
Summary: The key to finding that which is lost.
Dedicated to: FreedomFox whose fic 'Broken to Domination' made me fall in love with this pairing and who allowed me to use some of her ideas when my creative streak ran dry.
Last Revised On: 31/05/11
Chapter One: Loss
Walking through the empty streets of Konoha in the early morning hours was something that Shino had grown accustomed to in the past two months. It was his way of coping with the loss and the extraordinary guilt that accompanied it.
It was his fault. If he hadn't listened, if he had thought ahead, been stronger… There were so many ifs, so many things that could have been done differently. They terrorised his dreams and haunted his waking hours, because it was those ifs that could have prevented a tragedy.
That day three months ago when Kiba gave the order, he obeyed without question. They had talked about it before – the girls would always come first. Kurenai, who was like a second mother to the two of them, and gentle Hinata, the petite princess in need of support and protection were the two most important girls in their lives. If there was ever a doubt of whether or not they would make it, the boys would do everything in their power to get them out.
It was because of a promise the two had made on a tranquil day long ago, that he opened a scroll and transported the injured girls to safety, abandoning his team mate to fend for himself. He hadn't seen him since.
Kiba was like a ray of sunshine. He was a short-tempered, impulsive loudmouth with a heart of gold and a hidden disposition that match it. He was the caretaker and the one who made shinobi life bearable.
Always the one who to know exactly what to say to make Hinata feel better after a run-in with Neji or her father, to purposefully injure himself during training when realising that Kurenai was pushing herself beyond her limits to cater for her team and to befriend Shino's bugs when realising that they were the way to opening up Shino, Kiba was life. Without him, the fight had simply drained out of all the Team 8 members, as had their will to live.
Upon returning to the village it had taken a day to realise that Kiba would not be coming home and a week before the Hokage had managed to send out a search team. There had been not a trace of the Inuzuka or his ninken. The search teams had been given two weeks, the duration of which the still healing Team 8 members spend racing across treetops during the day and crying themselves to sleep every night.
Kiba wasn't found. With the village in dire need of more hands, no more shinobi were dispatched after him and his name was added to the memorial stone. Hinata fell sick and was bedridden for a week, Kurenai sought comfort in Asuma's arms and Shino got into the habit of prowling the streets whenever the nightmares got too bad to ignore.
The only one who appeared unaffected was Tsume. Upon receiving the news she scoffed and ordered Hana to join the search party sent to retrieve the 'big idiot'. When she returned without her brother, she swore, downed a bottle of sake and continued on with running the clan as if it was any other day.
"He'll get back when he is ready," she told Shino and never brought the subject back up.
She chose to treat her son's disappearance as a teenage rebellion, ignoring the pitying looks she received from the rest of the village's citizens. He was glad he was not an Inuzuka, Shino decided only to re-evaluate his decision one day when his morning walks led him to the village's main gate.
There was Akamaru running in circles and yipping to draw the guards' attention to the immobile figure laying some way down the mist obscured path. Rushing to past the guards, Shino paid them no mind as he kneeled by his friend's side and checked his pulse.
He was alive! Kiba was alive! With not even a scratch marring his body, the boy was finally home and was never leaving again if Shino had anything to say about it.
Kiba didn't wake up for three days and when he did, it was in a sterile hospital room, surrounded by friends and family. Tsunade had found time to come and check him up and all the boy's friends had followed her into the room, both dreading and anticipating her final assessment.
Shizune, who had been taking care of the Inuzuka heir up to this point hovered anxiously at the back of the room, while Tsume lingered by the door. The distraught Team 8 members were huddled together by their team mate's bedside and the rest of the rookie 11 still in the village took up the remaining space in the room.
It was to this crowded scene that Kiba opened his eyes, blinked blearily and smiled tentatively. Cuddled by his feet, Akamaru whined softly and pandemonium broke out.
"Quiet!" ordered the Godaime loudly, stopping the noisy eruption in its tracks. "This is a hospital and you will all respect its rules of conduct or be thrown out immediately."
With that, she made her way closer to the bed and accepted a clip-folder from Shizune.
"How are you feeling?" she asked her dazed patient calmly as she read over the notes in her hands.
"My head hurts," groaned the boy. "What happened?"
Suddenly a deadly silence enveloped the room, causing a feeling of dread to wash over the Inuzuka heir. Was it that bad?
"Y-you do-don't remem-ber?" stuttered out a wide-eyed Hinata and Kiba suddenly felt bad for having to shake his head in answer to her question.
He never wanted to disappoint her and for some reason he felt as if he was forgetting something really important? Had he promised her something? And why was the sweet, bubbly feeling of love he usually got around her missing? What was going on?
"What is the last thing you remember, Kiba?" asked the Hokage and her young patient scrunched up his face in thought.
"We were in the Land of Waves getting ready to leave after completing a mission," he replied at last. "The bridge was full of vendors and we were looking around. A man heard us admiring the bridge and told us that it would have never been completed without the help of one great Konoha shinobi and his team. We ended up leaving in tears from all the laughter, I still can't believe anyone would use the word 'great' in the same sentence as 'Naruto'."
His attempt to lighten the mood only produced few, forced smiles as everyone in the room couldn't disguise the pity in their eyes. Kiba was scared and reached his hand to weave his fingers through Akamaru's fur in search for comfort.
"Kiba," spoke up the Hokage when it became clear that no one else wanted to share the news, "that was over three months ago. You team was ambushed and you were captured when you stayed back to hold off your attackers for the rest of the team to escape."
The boy froze, his whole body locking up. Akamaru yipped in pain as his fur was gripped harshly and butted his owner's hand away with his head. He, too, knew that something was wrong, but could remember nothing past a warm hand, fiery scent, and sense of safety and contentment.
"T-then what…?" he managed to get out.
"We were hoping you would tell us, actually," informed Tsunade. "You showed up at the village gates three days ago, unconscious but with no sign of an injury."
That was a lie, but she felt that it would be hardly fair for the entire room to learn of his misfortunes. Kiba's body was littered by scars that could be no more than two months old. It was obvious that they had been left unhealed on purpose, probably as some weak form of torture or punishment.
She knew that because there was evidence of healing present. Someone with adequate medical knowledge had set bones wrong and healed wounds shut without connecting ligaments or healing torn muscles. The boy must have felt excruciating pain during and after the procedure.
What she couldn't understand was the second part of the notes. Apparently, the Inuzuka had received secondary medical help. All the bones had been broken and reset properly and proper medical help had been administered to all open wounds.
The procedure that had been implemented reminded of basic first aid administered by someone who had undergone brief medical-nin training. That description only fit one group of people and that was ANBU. Yet why would an ANBU rescue and heal someone without taking them back to a village, either to return them home or use them as a source of information?
"I don't…" Kiba trailed off looking lost and the Godaime sighed.
"Rest up and don't worry about it," she advised. "We are going to run some more tests and you should be released by tomorrow. Till then, everyone out!"
"But, Tsunade-sama!" whined Lee only to find himself on the other end of the Hokage's glare.
Soon enough, after lots of protests and threats, the room had emptied out. Shizune took a blood sample from the confused boy and he was left alone with only Akamaru for company.
"Do you remember anything, boy?" he asked resignedly, receiving a sad bark and whine in reply. "Yeah, but I feel it too. Something's missing."
Upon being discharged from the hospital, Kiba had to deal with a teary Hinata, a clingy sensei and a best friend who somehow got it into his head to become his personal shadow. That entire day, he was never left alone, not even once. He was certain that he had even seen some of Shino's bugs in the bathroom when he was taking a shower.
Everyone was acting as if he would disappear without warning and so he put aside his own worries in an effort to alleviate their own. He allowed himself to be dragged around town by his team mates, subjected himself to an hour-long lecture from his mother on how there was a fine line between self-sacrifice and foolhardiness, and even agreed to take a month-long break from missions as per his teacher's request.
Tsunade had warned him about the scars, but it wasn't until he had time to see them for himself before showering that he realised how bad they were. In a way, he was glad he could no longer remember the moments during which he acquired them. He was also horrified. Was he going to be subjected to a lifetime of disfigurement without even knowing why or how?
Twin diamond-shaped scars adorned either of his shoulders and run all the way through to his back as if someone had pinned him to the ground by katanas. They were the worse in sense of magnitude, but the raised lines that criss-crossed his back and silvery veins that were evident across his chest, arms and legs painted a gruesome picture.
He had been whipped and cut; tortured for something he had no recollection of. It hurt to not remember, maybe even more than the sight of the scars. It hurt, because the overwhelming sense of loss was still present and somewhere deep in his soul, he knew that whatever it was that he was missing, it had the power to make things right.
It was a whole two weeks after his return to Konoha and Kiba was walking through the training grounds with his faithful companion, lost in thought. Like so many times before, he found himself stopping by the memorial stone and gazing at the empty spot that had once held his name.
During his last visit at the hospital, the Hokage had met him to make a final assessment. Physically, there was nothing wrong with him that would explain his missing memories. Her theory was that his subconscious was responsible for blocking them from him so as to prevent the mental scarring that accompanied them.
It was anyone's guess wether or not he would ever remember. His family and friends hoped he wouldn't, the Hokage – albeit guiltily – hoped he would. A full account of his ordeal was needed to make sure that he had divulged no secrets that would endanger the village.
Normal procedure required Kiba to subject himself to a questioning session with a Yamanaka and it was only due to Tsume and Kurenai's insistence that he had been spared the treatment. The two women argued that Kiba had been made privy to no secrets and as such, possessed no threat.
They were afraid that any foreign presence within his mind would cause his memories to return and wished to protect him from the terror. Still, the idea had appealed to the boy. He wanted to remember.
While not fond to the idea of having someone traipsing through his mind, Kiba's heart broke at the thought of never finding out what he had lost. He was not looking forward to the nightmares, but he wanted the comfort Akamaru remembered the two of them to have found.
That was the other thing. No one had thought to ask, but Akamaru's memories of the event were also missing. Kiba was certain that had nothing to do with chance. Someone who had known of the Inuzuka clan's trait of talking to their companions had gone to lengths to keep the past three months from him.
Finally finding the courage, he turned around and walked briskly back to the village, ending up in front of the Yamanaka flower shop. Practically barging in, he made a bee-line for the back where he found Ino leaning casually atop the register.
"Kiba!" she exclaimed happily, her entire countenance lighting up at the sight of a familiar face. "How can I help you? I have to admit that I never expected to see you around here. Did you finally decide to try your luck with Hinata? She likes lilies!"
"Um, no, it's…" he stammered, suddenly having second thoughts. "Could we go somewhere more private?" He managed to get out before loosing his nerve. "I need to ask you for a favour."
The smile dropped off her face at the serious request and she nodded. Calling back for her mother to manage the shop, she grabbed his arm and pulled him outside. Neither talked as they made their way through Konoha's crowded streets until they reached the Kage summit.
"So, what's up?" asked Ino as the two of them sat upon the Sandaime's head, looking on as civilian sculptors worked vigilantly so the Godaime's head could join the rest.
"I-I…" began Kiba only to shake his head. "You know how I was supposed to have a Yamanaka search for my missing memories?" Ino nodded slowly. "Well, I want you to do it."
"Tha-" began the girl only to be cut off.
"I don't know what you will find or even if I want you to," admitted the Inuzuka heir. "I just want to be prepared in case I actually have to go through the official check-up. I want to be prepared and also want to know for myself without the entire village finding out. If you are not comfortable with the idea, then I won't force you into anything. It's just…"
"You don't want anyone to know of what I find out?" asked Ino for clarification, really not knowing what to think.
Kiba nodded guiltily. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"
"No, it's fine," intervened the girl with a smile.
Shimmying further from the edge of the cliff she motioned for the Inuzuka to do the same and linked her hands in the telltale sign for her clan's mind-controlling jutsu. For a few minutes, nothing happened and then Kiba tensed at the foreign presence he felt sliding over his own.
There was mild discomfort as Ino wadded through his mind. He felt her recoil at the memories of his scars and become annoyed, then confused at something else. A piercing pain accompanied one of her frustrated mental shoves and after a long time she returned to her body in the same flowing fashion she had entered it.
It took her a while to regain awareness and when she did a frown marred her face. She muttered to herself, shook her head and gave him an apologetic look.
"What?" questioned Kiba, thrown off by her bizarre reaction.
"I don't know!" she wailed, throwing her arms in the air. "Everything is just blank. There are some flashes of a fight the further back I go, but the entirety of the three months is just this giant black dot. I don't get it! I thought I felt something, like a barrier or a trace of chakra, but couldn't find anything. I'm sorry."
"No," admitted the boy, "I'm kind of glad you didn't find anything. Thank you for trying."
What he didn't tell her was that he had felt it too. The barrier, the chakra… They were subtle but they were there and they reminded him of the missing presence. It was a comfort to find that it hadn't been the bad guys who had messed with his mind, but also a source of frustration. What had happened?
That night he had the first dream. He re-lived the battle, felt his body swarm with adrenaline and woke up sweating in terror. Rather than a dream or nightmare, was a missing piece of himself and so he welcomed it.
Whatever it was that Ino had done, it had caused the barrier blocking his memories to weaken. They would be back, he understood that now and both anticipated and dreaded their return.