Sanji would describe himself as feeling warm, comfortable and happy. Oh, and incredibly guilty too. He's curled up against Zoro's warm body with his head resting against the other man's shoulder mentally berating himself.
What the hell was wrong with him? Hadn't he only just resolved to keep his hands to himself? Hadn't he only just agreed that continuing in a relationship with this other Zoro would be a bad idea for both of them because it would be painful for him and inadvertently cheating for Zoro? So what had happened? Ok, he'd drunk a little but he'd certainly not been drunk. Maybe it had been that suit. He shivered pleasantly at the memory of that suit on Zoro, fitting him so perfectly and mmm...
Goddamnit! He couldn't blame his poor impulse control on some, admittedly very fine, fabric. Zeff had always said he was short sighted and forgetful when it came to denying himself. Well now he'd got himself into this mess what was he going to do about it?
"Mm, morning." Zoro murmurs into his hair in a sleepy voice. Zoro's large warm hand rubs soothing circles into the arch of Sanji's back. Wow, Zoro is really good at that, if he was a cat he'd be purring right about now. He stretches under Zoro's touch and wonders idly whether Zoro might be up for spending all day in bed with him, they could-
What the hell? Sanji jerks himself into sitting bolt upright, he was doing it again!
"God there is something wrong with me." he groans to himself.
"I've been telling you that for YEARS." Zoro chuckles, still laying flat on the bed next to Sanji.
"Oi, I thought you loved me. Doesn't that mean you're supposed to be nice to me?" Sanji accuses mildly as he looks over his shoulder at Zoro stretched out naked in bed. He looks like everything Sanji has ever wanted and it makes his heart ache a little.
"Where's the fun in that?" Zoro smirks up at him and elicits a similar response from Sanji's own lips.
Sanji winces slightly to himself. He should have heeded his own advice, this whole thing was going to hurt so much more now. And poor Zoro, what would he think of himself, what would Sanji's opposite say? What if his selfishness had ruined Zoro's only chance of love?
"Oi what's wrong?" Zoro asks, bumping his knee against Sanji's ribs.
"Nothing." He answers out of habit and scratches his stubble unhappily. Zoro jabs him in the kidneys and gives him an 'out with it' look and holds his fingers out threateningly for another jab to Sanji's vital organs.
"What?" The man repeats.
"I- ugh. I feel awful is all, about this." He groans in answer.
"The sex?" Zoro questions, leaning up on his elbows and looking at him with a slightly worried expression.
"No, well… yes but- I mean no, it was…" He trails off and grins stupidly as the memory of being pinned under Zoro comes back. That seems to be answer enough for Zoro who relaxes a little more again.
"Then what?" the marimo continues, persistent as ever.
"I'm… making you cheat. By being with me." He explains with a sigh. Zoro bolts upright at that and his expression becomes rapidly very angry, shooting a harsh glare at Sanji.
"I would never!" he yells furiously.
"That's not what I meant!" Sanji insists, not wanting to anger or upset the other man.
"I meant that, well… I'm not your Sanji. Your Sanji is somewhere else, I'm not from here. So when I go and he comes back he's going to find out that you were with me instead of him. I'm just worried that something bad will happen between the two of you and it'll be my fault." He continues. Zoro's expression softens at that and he huffs an irritated sigh at Sanji.
"Don't say things like that. Besides, you are my Sanji, there's no one else." The marimo insists.
"Look, I know that you believe this whole thing, and that must be pretty scary but it's not true. There isn't any other Sanji, just you." Zoro says calmly with his hand resting warmly in the small of Sanji's back.
Sanji screws his eyes shut and grimaces, it's useless talking to Zoro about this, he just can't understand. He just doesn't know what Sanji knows. And why should he? Sanji's pretty sure that if he was in Zoro's position he wouldn't believe him either.
"Never mind." he mutters unhappily.
"Hey, look. You'd know if I was someone different right, even if I looked the same?" Zoro asks earnestly.
Sanji thinks about the Zoro that he knows back on the Sunny, the Zoro who was different enough to shut him down but similar enough to try to be kind about it.
"Believe me, I can tell the difference." he answers unhappily, he can tell now anyway.
"Then will you give me the same credit? I know that you're you." Zoro insists wrapping his arms around Sanji.
Eventually Zoro gets up to start his day, leaving Sanji alone in bed staring morosely at the ceiling. He has this feeling, this sense almost that time is running out. He can't shake it, all morning when he makes breakfast and goes about his day with Zoro he has this pressing feeling that time is slipping away, almost as if he has a heavy clock slung around his neck.
He curls up on the sofa next to Zoro and drinks a chamomile tea, he needs something to soothe his nerves. He really does try to think about the puzzle of this place, about why the things that are different are so, be he can't think of anything. It doesn't help that Zoro is distracting him. The would-be detective is pouring over his files and a map of London with reading glasses on, Sanji shouldn't find that anywhere near as adorable as he does but it's just so sweet!
He feels calmer now though, Zoro's presence is soothing even if it is distracting as hell. His calm is shattered though when something flutters past his eyes and lands in his tea. Curiously he peers into his mug and floating there innocently is a single petal.
A lotus petal.
In a panicked scrabble that rather startles Zoro he retrieves the petal from the tea. No sooner has he got it sitting wetly in the palm of his hand it shrivels up and turns to ash.
Panic clutches tightly around his heart, it's a warning, it has to be! He needs to solve this stupid puzzle and fast! Maybe if he can then he gets to keep Zoro, maybe Zoro can come with him!
"Oh, gross. Did a moth just commit suicide in your tea?" Zoro asks wrinkling his nose in disgust. He takes his glasses off and stands up taking the tea off of Sanji who sits there in silence for a moment before the panic bubbles over like water from a boiling pot.
"Oh god, it's a warning! What do I do?" he panics desperately. How long does this mean he has left to work this out? Days? Hours? Minutes?
"Hey, hey. What's a warning? What are you talking about? You mean the moth in your tea?" Zoro asks gently, leaning over the back of the sofa to look down at Sanji.
"That wasn't a moth! It was a lotus petal, it's a warning that my wish is running out! I'm going to lose everything, I'll be gone, you'll be gone!" Sanji explains, his voice rising in panic and sounding near hysterical.
"Oi, cook. Calm down, it's ok." Zoro insists, rounding the couch again and sitting down next to Sanji. He's about to argue the point that it's really REALLY not ok when Zoro cups Sanji's face in his hands and catches his fingertips in his hair.
"Look, no one is going anywhere. Nothing is running out of time, nothing is wrong. We're not going to lose each other, okay?" Zoro murmurs gently in a calming voice. Despite himself Sanji does find himself comforted, he holds onto Zoro's wrists tightly, not wanting to break contact with the man that so quickly became such a massive part of his life.
"Promise?" Sanji asks feeling small and pathetic.
"Heh, I promise." Zoro grins broadly at him and presses a quick kiss to Sanji's willing mouth.
The swordsman, no not the swordsman, the detective stands up again and takes Sanji's ruined cup of tea to the sink.
Sanji curls up into the sofa and presses his cheek to Zoro's warm shoulder when the man returns. Despite his comforting words Sanji needs to work this puzzle out.
Think, think, THINK! His wish was selfless, and it wasn't wishing for Zoro as much as he wants him. Every one of his nakama is different in some way. They're all still happy and chasing vaguely similar dreams. Is that it? He wishes that his nakama had different dreams? No, no, that can't be it. Why would that be so? He had no problem with their dreams, he supports them.
Goddamnit. Could it be something to do with Zeff? That seems unlikely, he was already chasing all blue for the man and other than that the old man had the Baratie, he was happy as a clam. Shit, shit, shit.
What was the common theme then? He wouldn't say that his friends were really any more or less happy than they were in his world. Except possibly Usopp who was over the moon about being married to his doctor girl. It's a shame that they're apart in the real world, but it wasn't like Usopp could have taken her with him. She had stuff to do and a pirate ship was a dangerous place, after all. Hell, they had some disaster or another happen to them every week or so. It had actually been nice being here where it was… safe…
Sanji's eyes widened. Was that it? His friends here were safe, in the entire time here the worst that had happened was Zoro had got into a little brawl and gotten a scratch, not even bad enough to need stitches. That was practically just a regular day in his world. He hadn't had to worry about the constant threat of death here. Surely… well, surely wishing for a world where your nakama weren't likely to be killed was selfless wasn't it?
Suddenly the scent of flowers washes over him, sickly sweet and covering him completely. The air feels different suddenly, like a ripple has just run through it.
"Hm, it took you long enough." A female voice says.
Zoro leaps up instantly at his side but Sanji knows who the voice belongs to even before he sees her. It's the oracle girl, the head one with the long brown hair and the flower behind her ear. She's leaning against one of the floor to ceiling windows, her dress going translucent in the morning light.
"Who the hell are you? How did you get in here?" Zoro demands fiercely of her.
Sanji finds himself feeling almost weary as he looks at her, he can see the punch of pain coming and he just wants it over with.
"What happens now?" He asks with a sigh, standing up next to Zoro. The marimo looks from him to her antsily with confusion written on his face.
"Now," she says leaning her head against the window frame, "you get to choose whether you want you wish or not."
"Sanji, who is this? How did she get in here?" Zoro asks him with wide eyes as if asking Sanji to give him an explanation that makes sense. Sadly Sanji doesn't have one of those for him.
"I told you about her before. She's the lotus flower woman, the one who sent me here in the first place." He answers tiredly. And he can see the words that go through Zoro's head without the other man even saying them 'but that wasn't real'. He doesn't know whether or not he wishes Zoro was right or not.
"But-" Zoro starts to protest.
"How else did she get in here? How else does she know about all of this? You really think she managed to sneak by you?" Sanji argues briefly. He turns his attention back to the woman, Zoro can choose to believe him or not later.
"What do you mean I get to choose?" He prompts the flower girl.
She stays silent and tilts her head with a small smile. Without saying anything she thumps her fist behind her on the pane of glass. A ripple runs through it like water, turning the glass into something that reflects like a mirror but moves like liquid. He hears Zoro's gasp at his side but ignores it.
"I mean this." She says as the shimmering quicksilver glass behind her turns clear again. Instead of revealing the city streets below them though it instead shows the deck of the Sunny. Luffy is on deck and yelps in surprise and calls for everyone, he's clearly able to see them. At his exclamation the rest of the crew slowly come onto the deck and stare wide eyed in wonder at them.
"Oh my god…" Zoro murmurs next to him, taking in the scene with new eyes.
"Is… is that Brook?" the Zoro at his side asks with a note of horror in his voice. Sanji winces at it, because he found it odd seeing his friend with skin but it must be far more horrible to suddenly see your friend without it.
"So this is where you were keeping Sanji!" Luffy yells angrily, pulling back his fist in preparation for a punch. He swings for her but his fist just bounces off of the glass window.
"Give him back!" Usopp shouts at the woman who looks on at his nakama with a bored expression.
"Whether he comes back or not is his decision." She intones flatly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sanji asks with a frown.
"It means that you can either take your wish and stay here, where the people that you love are safe. They'll follow the dreams that they have here and you won't have to worry about them getting killed. Or you can return to where you came from." She answers simply.
"And what happens to them if he does stay here?" Zoro asks suddenly from Sanji's side. Sanji looks at him in surprise, but he supposes he shouldn't be startled, Zoro's always been able to roll with the punches that life throws at him.
"They continue on their journey without him. I can't tell you their future like I can yours, their world is too… unpredictable." The girl answers thoughtfully.
"But without him I'm guessing their chances aren't good. Sanji's told me about the kind of thing that happens to them every day." Zoro says stiffly. Sanji cringes inwardly at that, he doesn't need a reminder to know how crazy-dangerous the world he came from is.
"Things aren't certain, the future is changeable. But I wouldn't bet in their favour without him, no." the oracle answers with a slight wince.
"Hey! This isn't fair, you said that you'd grant my wish! I wished for my nakama to be protected, to be safe. All you've done is create copies of them somewhere where they are safe and you're asking me to leave for that and put my nakama in more danger! That's not what I wished for!" Sanji shouts angrily. This whole thing is completely unfair, why should he have to choose?
The oracle actually has the decency to look a little guilty at that. She looks away from Sanji and scratches the back of her neck awkwardly.
"That's… true, I suppose. But I lack to power to change the world you came from like that, you can't have the kind of protection that you wished for there. But I made you somewhere that you can." She points out meekly.
"At their expense!" Sanji yells, pointing at his nakama on the ship.
"Sanji's right, what you've done isn't fair! If you couldn't grant his wish you shouldn't have done anything, just like with the rest of us!" Nami shouts, pointing an accusing finger at the oracle.
"You made this place. You made my world, you made me." Zoro says beside him in a numb voice that cuts through all of the yelling and makes everyone stare at him.
"I'm not… real." He finishes quietly.
"No, that's not true Zoro! You're real, real as anything!" Sanji insists desperately, grabbing Zoro's arm.
"He's right, just because I created this world doesn't make it fake, nor you. Everything is created by someone." The oracle confirms, nodding her head sagely.
Zoro's fists clench angrily by his sides and Sanji feels the tension run through him like a current.
"If you created me then you should know that I don't believe in crap like that!" He snaps angrily. Out of the corner of his eye Sanji sees the other Zoro no… the original Zoro nod slightly in agreement with himself.
An idea occurs to Sanji. He's always known that he was on borrowed time with Zoro, perhaps he can still save everyone but himself. Perhaps all isn't lost.
"What happens if I choose to go back? Does the other Sanji reappear here? Will things go back to normal here?" he demands, turning to the Oracle. Before she can answer though Zoro jerks on his arm hard enough to spin Sanji around to face him.
"There isn't any other Sanji, I told you that. It's you, it's always been you." Zoro breathes, catching the back of Sanji's neck with his hand and pressing their foreheads together.
Sanji can't believe that, he can't. That means that if he leaves Zoro won't have anyone, he'll never love anyone else. It's not like the Zoro back on the Sunny who doesn't have anyone to love and doesn't want anyone, this Zoro wants him and will know what he's missing. He can't do that to Zoro, he's not sure that he can do it to himself either. No one has ever loved him like Zoro has and this Zoro is the only one that feels that way.
"He's right you know. I made this world around you, you're the Sanji that he remembers and if you stay here then the memories from this world will all come back to you eventually." The oracle says softly from her place at the portal that used to be their window.
"But you need to make a choice." She adds weightily.
"You can't do this to me!" Sanji pleads with her as tears prickle behind his eyes and Zoro runs a hand through his hair.
"What happens to him if Sanji comes back? What happens to that place?" The swordsman from the other side of the window asks.
"The wish can't sustain itself without Sanji there, they'll vanish. The wish will unmake itself." The oracle answers simply.
Sanji startles away from his Zoro at that and stares at her in horror. This whole world can't possibly vanish into nothing can it? All of his nakama that are here, Zeff and the Baratie and what about Zoro, his precious Zoro?
"You can't give Sanji a choice like that! You've as much told him that whatever he chooses someone will die!" Robin says fiercely, her fists tightening dangerously.
"Being unmade isn't the same as dying! They won't have ever existed." The oracle insists desperately, holding her hands up defensively.
"I hardly see a difference!" the archaeologist snarls furiously.
"Can't- can't Zoro and the others come back with me? Then they wouldn't get unmade." Sanji asks with desperate hope, perhaps he can find a way to salvage this after all.
"They can't travel between worlds, only you can. You have to choose." She answers with a short shake of her head.
"It's your choice Sanji." Luffy states quietly from the deck.
Sanji gasps and locks eyes with his captain. Luffy looks furious and sad, but Sanji understands what he means, whichever Sanji chooses his captain supports him. Oh god, he owes Luffy so much. What's he supposed to do? The rest of his nakama look at him teary eyed with looks of uncertainty on their faces.
"No, there must be some other way. You can't ask me to make this choice!" He pleads desperately with the oracle. She again shakes her head no though.
Zoro grabs the back of his shirt and spins him, pulling him tight into a kiss. Sanji feels the wetness spill over from his eyes and run down his cheeks as the opens up his mouth to Zoro, uncaring that his nakakma are looking on. His tears must make their way to his mouth because suddenly the kiss becomes salty and almost bitter.
Zoro pulls back and holds Sanji tightly in his arms for a moment. Sanji shakes in his arms, what can he possibly do? How can he weigh up the lives of his nakama in the world he came from against the lives of his nakama here? How can he possibly turn his back and leave these arms around him that make him feel complete?
"Listen to me, I love you. I've always loved you, ever since I saw you and worked out what that meant. Remember that." Zoro breathes quietly, kissing him on the temple.
Zoro glances up suddenly, his eyes steely and locked on something just over Sanji's shoulder. Defensively Sanji turns but sees nothing there that wasn't there before. Before he can question what's going on the blow of a hand hits the middle of his back and sends him flying forward through the watery glass and landing hard on the other side.
Sanji gasps up at the blue sky above him as the smell of the ocean fills his nose, below him the deck of the Sunny is bobbing gently in the ocean. Panicked he scrambles to his feet to find himself on the other side of the window, the oracle is standing on the windowsill looking surprised and Zoro, his Zoro, is on the other side looking like he thinks he might be sick.
"What the hell Zoro?" He demands leaping forward for the window. Instead of hitting Zoro and thumping him painfully on the chest though he hits solid glass.
"I'm sorry, really I am. But I couldn't let you make that choice. I know you Sanji, whatever you chose would eat you up forever, you're not a man to let your own mistakes go. So I chose for you." Zoro apologises shakily, pressing his hand to the glass that so easily let Sanji through but keeps them apart.
"No, no, no! You can't do that! It was my choice, it was my wish, you can't just make it for me!" He screams banging his fists against the unyielding glass.
Seeing as that approach isn't going to work he swings his leg back and kicks at the glass as hard as he can. It has no effect though. As desperation courses through him he feels his leg catch ablaze as his foot makes contact with the glass over and over. His Zoro looks startled but Sanji doesn't care, he just needs to get back there. Furiously he turns to the rather startled looking oracle.
"Let me back! It was my choice, you can't just let this happen!" He screams at her.
"I- I can't! The decision has been made. I've never seen this happen before but… it's already too late." She says quickly.
"I'll kill you!" He snarls and leaps for her. Fuck the fact that she's a woman, fuck the fact that she's younger than him, she's just taken everything from him and she needs to die. She slips through his fingers like smoke though and disappears from beneath him before he can so much as touch her.
A rumble catches his attention and he looks through the glass to see Zoro regaining his balance as if an earthquake had just rocked the place. Horrified Sanji watches as their front door, the door to their home - to the place that they picked together for the both of them, starts to disintegrate into lotus petals and drift into nothingness. Behind where the door was is simply gaping empty white space.
"No, this can't be happening. You promised me I wouldn't lose you." He sobs painfully as he presses his hand to the glass. Zoro's face fills with regret at that, the man has never liked breaking his promises.
"I'm sorry about that, about everything." He murmurs, resting his head against the glass.
Zoro glances over his shoulder to see that the erosion of his world into lotus petals has reached the bookcases and the edge of the kitchen. Quickly Zoro darts away from the glass and snatches his white sword from the mantelpiece before it is dissolved, around the space that it occupied pictures of the two if them disintegrate into petals.
"Oi, other me." Zoro demands as he gets back to the glass, the original Zoro looks back at him and Sanji looks perplexed and devastatedly from one to the other. For a selfish second he wishes that their places were swapped and then hates himself for thinking it.
"Promise me that you'll look out for him, protect him." Zoro insists.
"Sanji doesn't need-" the swordsman on the deck of the Sunny begins with a frown.
"I didn't fucking ask for your short-sighted opinion, I already know how ungrateful you are!" Zoro snaps furiously. After a split second's consideration he presses his white sword to the glass.
"You know how much she meant to me, to us. He means more. Promise me that you'll look out for him, swear on her." Zoro orders in a shaking voice.
The swordsman stares wide eyed for a second before looking slowly down at the three swords on his hip. He smoothly pulls Wado out and holds her up to his counterpart.
"I promise." He intones seriously.
The Zoro through the glass nods at that, apparently satisfied. He turns back to Sanji and once again presses his hand to the glass, his sword forgotten in the other hand.
Sanji presses his hand to Zoro's palm print and feels the tears rush down his face as the spot that Zoro is standing in slowly gets consumed by petals. He doesn't have any more words, neither of them do. Denying what is happening is foolish now, and there's nothing to say that the other doesn't already know. Sanji is covered with the sickly smell of lotus petals as the glass and Zoro himself starts to flutter away into petals, he can't believe that he ever thought the smell was nice. In far too short a time the last of the glass and Zoro's handprint disappears. Without the weight to lean on Sanji falls forward. He doesn't bother to catch himself and he doesn't care about the pain when he lands awkwardly on the deck.
Zoro is gone.