CHAPTER 4
Emma
I sat straight up in bed, perspiring in a cold sweat, my heart pounding.
Another dream featuring the beautiful brown haired, blue-eyed man. He wore the same beautiful smile he had in all of my dreams. His hand was extended out to me, I wanted to go to him, but I couldn't move my feet. Then I woke up. I let my breathing slow and automatically raised my hand up to my forehead, under my bangs to stroke the scar.
"Jackie? You alright?" Jesse stood over me looking worried, holding a glass of water.
"I'm fine. Just another dream," I shrugged. Jesse knew I had vivid dreams, but I never told him about the beautiful man in them. It seemed too personal.
"Well…you should try to sleep. We have work tomorrow." He kissed the top of my head and I smiled up at him. He grinned and turned to click the light off. I couldn't sleep, so I did what I did most sleepless nights. I recalled my earliest memories, which only reached about one year back, and even those were pretty basic.
Jesse's face was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. He looked relieved. He asked me questions, none of which I could answer. Days went by, a tribal doctor came in every day. He explained he combined his knowledge of western and natural herbal medicine to treat me. I was confused, but grateful that everyone was so kind and patient. I never really questioned anything, I couldn't form really coherent thoughts.
Jesse was constantly at my bedside. At first, we didn't say much, but slowly he let my story trickle out. I was a survivor of a derailed train. I wouldn't have believed it, but it was the only explanation I had. He told me his family, who lived on a ranch, had helped with the clean up of the massive amount of wreckage. The night after the accident, he was out, just walking, about a quarter mile from the accident scene. He found me. I had been overlooked. The best he could tell, I had somehow managed to crawl away from the wreckage…or I was thrown on impact. He ran me back to the ranch, carrying me in his arms. The doctor insisted western medicine alone would not save my life.
By the time I was almost healed, I was enjoying life on the country side, particularly Jesse. His family was now my family. I'd taken to doing their cooking and cleaning, being a caretaker of sorts. Soon I was referred to as an honorary member. I didn't know my name, and it wasn't long before the moniker 'Jesse's sidekick' wasn't cutting it anymore. We'd all settled on Jackie, as it was close to the name Jesse, and I was, after all, his female counterpart. We were a lot alike, we shared a similar sense of humor and interests. Things were easy and fun with Jesse. I felt safe and protected when I was with him. I was happy…he was my best friend and…more. I knew he was falling in love with me and I wasn't opposed to it. I wasn't in love with Jesse, but I did care for him very much. I was sure in time I would fall in love with him. It just hadn't happened yet.
One morning Jesse walked into my room, his face was grim but he was trying to hide it.
"We have to talk," he said, sitting on my bed.
"Okay."
"Jackie, we have to find out about you…about where you come from…who you are."
"Why?" I asked, panic already building. I was safe and happy here. I didn't want to know anything else, to know another life.
"Because! Because people probably miss you and love you–"
"But they'd be strangers to me!" I was horrified at the thought.
"Jackie, you have parents, maybe siblings, maybe–" I cut him off, knowing what was coming next.
"Then why wouldn't they be looking for me? If I was loved, why weren't they trying to find me?" I challenged.
"Maybe they think you're dead," he shot back.
"Well, they certainly never found a body, did they? I've yet to see my picture on the news, I haven't seen a frantic family, pleading for my safe return!"
"We can't know anything for certain," he said.
"I know for certain I am safe and happy here. With you. I know I am loved."
His jaw tightened and he raked a hand through his glossy blonde hair.
"This can't be…legal," he sighed, but he looked relieved.
"Of course it is. Nobody is keeping me here against my will. This is my home."
"It is," he conceded.
The truth was, I was scared. What if my life hadn't always been good? What if I wasn't, in fact, safe or loved? What if I was some kind of despicable person?
I briefly considered what Jesse said. If people loved me and missed me, they would surely be moving on by now. It was safer to stick to the sure thing. I had a guarantee of happiness here.
"Well…do you want a job?" Jesse grinned.
"Absolutely," I smiled back.
That's how I started tending the only bar in town. My family owned the bar, so it was easy to skip all of the pesky information asked on the unnecessary application.
Social Security Number? No clue.
Job history? No idea.
Convicted of a felon? Not entirely sure.
Jesse and I laughed as I filled it out, making a joke of it, the way we always did.
"You don't have to bother with that. The job is yours," Jesse said.
"I know, but it makes me feel normal."
"Whatever you say…but you're far from normal," he mocked.
"You're right. What normal person would hang out with you?"
"Ha Ha. Finish this so we can go," he said.
"Okay, Boss." I returned my attention to the application.
Married? Uh, no.
Children? My hand hesitated over the yes/no boxes. I hadn't thought of that possibility. I supposed I was old enough to have children, but I wasn't even sure of my exact age. Then again, I wasn't sure of my sexual history, either. I hoped I wasn't the type of person who had sex without love…and I refused to believe I would not remember some great love; thus I deduced no children. I felt Jesse's eyes on me and quickly checked the no box.
"Ready?"
"Ready."
That was months ago.
Jesse and I had fun working at the bar, where the only patrons were family and friends. Very occasionally, we got a few out-of-towner's in or lost travelers looking for directions, which is why it was so odd when one afternoon I looked up from the bar to see five strangers settling in a round table in the back of the bar.
-:-
Sean
"I want to see where it happened," I told Manny over the phone. She was still in shock that I called her. I never called anyone.
"Wait. I'm still stuck on the fact that you know how to dial a phone."
"Funny."
"Well, to be honest…it is odd for you to call me. But I'm thrilled you–"
"Surprise! I can use a phone. But right now I need you to tell me exactly where it happened."
"Where what happened?"
"The accident."
She was silent.
"I need to see it," I said.
"There's nothing to see, Sean. Everything is gone. There's nothing there."
How fitting.
"I want to see it anyway."
"Today?" she asked, meaningfully.
"Today." The date was not lost on me. It was our one year anniversary. Still, that wasn't why it had to be today, that was just a rotten coincidence. I just woke up, needing to see it, but not knowing why.
"We're coming with you," she informed me.
"Fine," There was no point in arguing.
"Well, let me call Toby and Liberty…we'll pick you up," she sighed, going against her better judgement.
-:-
Jay pulled in to a dive bar in the small country town.
"What are you doing?" I asked impatiently. I didn't want to prolong this.
"Well, I for one will need a stiff drink before we do this," Jay said.
"Ditto," Toby said.
"Then I drive the rest of the way," Liberty said.
"Deal," Jay agreed.
They piled out of the jeep and followed. We walked in the door and stuck out like a sore thumb. It was full of town residents, some who nodded a surprised hello. We sat in the back and tried unsuccessfully to blend in. It was uncomfortable for us, except for Jay who felt right at home everywhere he went. He struck up a conversation with an old man at the table next to ours.
"What brings y'all to our side of town?" the old man asked in a thick southern accent.
"Ah, my little friend here wanted to check out the scene of that train wreck that happened last year."
"Sorry kids, nothin' much to see. I'd say you're a little late for gawkin'," he chuckled. "Though we did have quite a bit for a while."
My stomach dropped. I felt sick. People gawking…at her death.
"Well, it's more than gawking. Sean here is one of the infamous three who survived," Jay said proudly.
The man froze, his drink half way to his lips.
"Lucky me," I said dryly.
The man half stood in his chair.
"Jesse…Jess come on over here," he called.
A tall southern kid appeared next to the old man. His considerable arms were across his chest. I didn't like him.
"Everything alright, Harry?" he asked, eyeing our table.
"Sure. I just, uh, wanted you to meet my new friends. Sean over here is one of our lucky three."
I wasn't surprised, people were intrigued by me. One of the three survivors, a walking miracle, the newly married widower. Once people knew who I was, I tended to get a lot of unsolicited attention. And questions. I couldn't deal with any of that today.
"I'll go get our drinks," I said, standing up.
"No! No…let me," Jesse said quickly. He looked nervous.
I was an accident victim, not the president. This was odd.
Jesse listened to our drink orders, nodding nervously the whole time. His eyes kept darting to the bar. Suddenly, he turned to Harry.
"Hey, Harry, why don't you go tell Jackie to take her break now?"
Harry got up.
"So…the train. Wow," Jesse said, staring at me.
"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up," I said, wanting him to leave.
"You're married," he said abruptly, looking at my ring.
Was this guy serious?
"Look, buddy, can we just get our drinks?" Toby said.
"Sure," he said, but he hesitated by our table. "Was, ah, was your wife on the train?" He didn't look curious or even insensitive. He looked scared.
Jay stood up at the same time I did.
"It's very…hard," Manny offered to Jesse in a feeble attempt to calm Jay down.
I moved to walk out the door.
"Don't follow, just give me a minute. I'm fine," I told them.
Jesse stepped forward to follow me.
Jay stepped in front of him.
"What's your problem?" I heard Jay ask.
"Your friend can't go out there," Jesse said. He sounded desperate.
"What the hell kind of place is this?" Toby yelled.
Then I heard another voice behind me and my heart stopped.
-:-
Emma
"Why don't you go ahead and take a break now, Jackie?" Harry said. I looked at the watch Jesse bought me.
"Don't be silly, Harry, it's only 4:00."
"Well, I need some help out front so–"
"What's going on back there?" I interrupted him. I noticed him talking to the table of strangers earlier but I got curious when I heard him call Jesse over.
"Oh, nothin'…kids. Jess's getting their orders."
"It doesn't look like nothing." It looked intense. The three men were all standing now, one with his back to me, headed for the door. I worried for Jesse. He was strong and capable, but there were three of them.
"I'm going to see what's going on," I said and stepped out from under the bar.
"No, honey, stay put. Jess will take care of it."
The big guy asked Jesse what his problem was.
That was it.
I made my way to the back of the bar.
I got there just as the guy with the glasses was insulting my family's bar.
"What the hell kind of place is this?" he spat.
"The kind of place that is family owned and operated and doesn't appreciate drunk outsiders coming in and starting trouble," I said, my hands on my hips.
"What. The. Fuck?" the big guy said.
He was staring at me like I just announced I could raise the dead. They all were.