Hello once again readers! It's been a while I know, and the Queen has reminded me every day…TURNS OUT I RAN OUT OF ANTIVENOM TODAY.
The mighty a fearsome Queen was looking at her bed, her used to be bed. She had grown far too large for it. Now the all-powerful Queen had to sleep on the floor. Pounce De Fuzzums continued to sleep next to the Queen every night, however when going out on the royal promenade had to be left behind. Knight Steven though linguistically powerful in his own strange tongue of Steven, had yet to be able to convey as to why such an arrangement had to be faltered. Molter Steven had taken it upon himself to get the royal promenade changed to go to a new route a while ago. The new route was of the Queens liking as the mighty and powerful Queen got to do battle with the rival kingdom! Oh so many battles had been waged, taking out what surely were hideous beasts; with their tiny beady eyes, stingers and pincers. Though for some reason the Queen could not help but think that they all seemed very familiar. Why, no one would be able to tell; as each encounter with them was met with a quick defeat by the mighty Queen and Knight Steven.
Today had been no different, coming back from a glorious battle with those hideous beasts the Queen made sure that the tiny Stevens got to take notice of her shining carapace. Soaked in the blood of those things. The tiny Stevens had taken a liking to the Queen which she did encourage. Each tiny Steven was allowed a ride upon her back, the price only being the enlistment into the door fighting army. Though the Queen had defeated the might Stair Empire many a time, she had come to realize that they were mere stepping stones. Literally, that's what they are used for. For stepping, such wondrous things you can learn once you can climb things easily. Now her focus was on the only and true enemy of her lovely kingdom. Doors. They had always been there, watching and waiting, taking notes on how to take her down from the sidelines. The evil things are masterminds. The mighty Queen must take them down! Make them shiver in fear within their door jams! They will regret the day they decided to require a strange appendage that only Stevens had! How dare them! Don't they know she has other duties to deal with that Knight Steven does not know about! Like going out and attacking those Legate posters! Or taking out more Fuzzums killers! Those dastardly evil foul things, all of them must be eradicated! But alas, no. The mighty Queen must stay within her kingdoms headquarters, to be poked and proded by Molter Steven.
Molter Steven would often walk while in town with Knight Steven and the mighty Queen. The Queen had noticed that Molter Stevens belly had been protruding forward for quite some time, and had only been getting larger. Molter Steven needs to go on a diet, but the Queen is too nice to say such a thing to him. POOR MOLTER STEVEN, LOOK AT YOU WADDLE TO ME WITH-OH SWEET SNACK CAKES, A SNACK CAKE.
The mighty Queen gingerly grabbed the snack cake with her powerful pincer and began to munch down in a most powerful way. Knight Steven was rubbing Molter Stevens belly, Molter Steven seemed to enjoy the attention. Poor Molter Steven has no idea that Knight Steven is telling him he's fat. The Queen will take note of this and make Knight Steven apologize to poor Molter Steven, so rude he has been lately. Just a few lunar cycles ago, he was jumping poor Molter Steven in the beds upstairs (also on the stairs, on top of the work bench, in that closet in the corner, on the Queens old bed), ripping his poor clothing off. Then beating him senseless, with a lower appendage that the mighty Queen had no idea about, these Stevens hid all kinds of surprises. Surely this must be a Steven way of showing dominance or something, because surely this could not be anything else. Nothing at all. Nothing. At. All. After the every night beating poor Molter Steven began to grow fat. This must be some kind of defense, growing a fatty belly that the other Steven will feel the need to make fun of rather than to hit with his lower appendage. Yes, perfect sense.
Molter Steven gave the Queen a mighty soft pat, and cooed at her like he often did. Such a strange Steven, though Knight Steven seems attached to him; though those nightly beatings seem to suggest the other. Such a strange species, first the exploding heads disease and now the nightly beatings, and now the tummy thing. These Stevens will forever perplex her royal highness. As they approached the firehouse, the mighty Queen took her place in front of those damn dirty doors. She waited until they came up to their proper position, far above her head where they should stay—NOOOO, KNIGHT STEVEN DON'T PUT THEM BACK DOWN, DON'T-OH HEY A SNACK CAKE.
The doors came down with little fuss from the mighty Queen as she devoured another snack cake. Knight Steven and Molter Steven went upstairs for the night, and the mighty Queen went to bed as well. Pounce De Fuzzums curled up next to the mighty Queen, and they took a most wondrous slumber. However, the mighty Queens mighty nap was interrupted by something during the middle of the night. The mighty Queen felt all tingly, much like when around those things around the other side of the firehouse. What could this be about? Turning, she noticed that Pounce De Fuzzums was not his very perky self. The Queen prodded her loyal and most fuzzy of subject, however Pounce De Fuzzums would not wake from his most mighty of naps. The next few days the mighty Queen waited for Pounce De Fuzzums to awake, however nothing of the sort happened. He remained still. The mighty Queen heard noises from outside, and felt movement however none of the Stevens she felt would enter her most royal of royal headquarters. A Steven was still moving upstairs, she could feel it. However the movements from upstairs halted altogether. The Queen could not understand why all movement went still, surely this tingle was nothing to Knight Steven and Molter Steven. It had to be. So the mighty Queen waited. She waited. Soon Pounce De Fuzzums started to look….well less fuzzy. The Queen moved Pounce De Fuzzums to her old bed, and waited. Waiting was so hard for a royal, she had things to do! No one was opening the doors for her! KNIGHT STEVEN! MOLTER STEVEN! POUNCE DE FUZZUMS NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION. WAKE UP…..KNIGHT STEVEN? MOLTER STEVEN? The mighty Queen tried to traverse her old foe, stairs, but to no avail. Her size was too great for them, also she could not fit through the tiny hole up top anymore.
The Queen realized that her royal entourage had been assassinated. By whom? She did not know, but she was sure it was either that Legate, the Fuzzums Killer, or Doors. Fucking Doors.
And thus the tale of the mighty Queen ends. It had been a good run, and I thank you for reading my tale of awesome, and heartbreak. SUCH A TEAR JERKER. /cries