The funeral was horrible and I'm only glad it's over. Jesus, I'm glad it over. Maggie walked out of the church quietly, Nick holding her upright by the arm (or was it her holding up Nick?). Ursula had declined to come to the funeral and Maggie didn't like Michael coming at his age just yet, so the former had volunteered to babysit as Eric slept in the bedroom, another night in the bar a distant memory to him. Ursula kept her son out of his sight by taking him to the park, just in case Eric woke up to the noises of a child and his babysitter.
She met everybody up again, thinking that she most likely saw some of them the day before: Doc Robbins, Hodges, Archie, Greg, Sara, Catherine, Grissom and even Jim Brass. And she still could not figure out the depth of their grief, the core of their beings as Grissom delivered a moving eulogy at the end of the Mass before the burial. Nick sat next to Maggie (Catherine on her other side), putting a familiar arm around her shoulders, as Grissom spoke the final words.
"As crime scene investigators, we meet people on the worst day of their lives. They've just lost a family member, somebody they loved, often in a horrible way. A piece of their heart is gone and will never be replaced. The phrase we're trained to offer them, 'I'm sorry for your loss', as we know now, doesn't offer much.
"Warrick Brown was a young boy when his parents passed away. Much too young to learn that life can be so tragically short. But I think that it taught him how precious life is, and so he lived his life to the fullest, each day as if it was his last day. I was with Warrick on his last day. All the qualities that defined him, his tenaciousness, his deep sense of loyalty, his courage to risk his life for what he knew was right…all those traits were with him on that last day. Just before he died, we were all having breakfast together. Our team. His friends. His family. And Warrick was... he was…"
Grissom sobbed for a moment before composing himself. "I'm going to miss him so much," he finally said.
Maggie felt her own tears fall again, closing her eyes to the reality. When she opened them again, the service was over and Warrick's casket was being sent out to be buried, the team following behind it slowly, their cars blinking the usual lights for a funeral. She and Nick were still arm-in-arm, holding each other together, Sara, Catherine, Hodges and Archie behind them as the two climbed into Catherine's car to go to the cemetery.
And it's over. It's all over. All we have to do is watch Warrick be buried and it's over. It's still over…and yet, somehow, it'll never end. The pain will never leave us.
~00~
"I can't believe it, Nick." Maggie sipped her drink at a table at a local night club the next night, still aware of the pain from the funeral the day before and the unbelievable words she heard. Music also kept blaring in the background like a siren, her heart beating faster and faster (especially thinking of how generous Grissom was to give her and Nick the night off). It took her a few times to get her message across before Nick understood her and nodded.
"I know what you mean." He took a sip from his glass and smiled. "So, why does this little date have to be such a secret from your idiotic boyfriend?"
"I don't know," Maggie shrugged her shoulders, aware that, for most of the night, she had been silent, only nodding in consent when Nick asked her out the day before. "I'm still scared of Eric. I mean, he hasn't gotten so much as a job and sleeps all day if he's not yelling at somebody. And Warrick is in the ground…" She choked back a sob.
When Nick put a comforting hand on her shoulder, Maggie brushed it away quickly as tears came down her face. "No, Nick. I have to handle this myself. Let me talk." She paused and then sighed, wiping away the trails on her cheeks. "I'm tired of being frightened of him. I picked him up and dated him because he was a good guy at first. He was a gentleman and took me out places and was good with Michael. And then, things went worse from there after he moved in with me. He started hitting me and bullying me."
Nick's hand took Maggie's limp one on the table, tightening the grip. He said nothing, though, but the anger on his face was undeniable.
"Nick, please, don't do anything stupid," Maggie begged when she saw it. "I moved back here because I was full of hope. I was hoping that he'd clean up his act and, for once, get another job and support me. But, Las Vegas isn't the place for that, is it? He still goes to the casinos and gambles. Then, he comes to a place like this and drinks the money away. He steals, lies and cheats on me."
"Then get rid of him," Nick growled.
"It's easier said than done, Nick. I was hoping to kick him out of the apartment soon, since his own name is not on the lease for the apartment. Ursula and I own the apartment legally and since Michael is my son, he has a right to stay until he's eighteen. So, Eric's just a bum, sitting around. And he can be vicious. It's going to take time to slowly weed his own way out. It's effort on everybody's part." She took another sip of her drink with her other hand.
Nick let go of his grip and took a finger to Maggie's check, touching another bruise, a new one.
"Grissom is going notice this, Maggie."
"I think he knows, Nick. I have yet to talk with him about it."
Why the hell are we speaking in small sentences now? We're adults now. Nick and I are adults. And this is the second time I went out with him, the first with just the two of us. Where am I going with this? Nowhere, it seems, because we've been broken up for three years. I was supposed to be mad at him, but I missed him. I missed him like crazy, no matter what.
A song came up, something that made Nick's ears perk up as he moved his finger away from Maggie's face. "Wanna dance?" he asked Maggie, standing up and holding out his hand: an offer to go join him.
"Sure…" Maggie stood up too, taking the large hand and walking to the dance floor, listening to the song and thinking: This is our song. Jesus, this is our song. Why does Nick have to pick out songs to dance to that are ours?
In a way, I need a change
From this burnout scene
Another time, another town
Another everything…
But it's always back to you
Stumble out, in the night
From the pouring rain
Made the block, sat and thought
There's more I need…
It's always back to you
But I'm good without you
Yeah, I'm good without you
Yeah, yeah, yeah…
How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line, can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break
Let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time
But I'm shattered
I always turn the car around
I had no idea that the night
Would take so damn long
Took it out, on the street
While the rain still falls
Pushing me back to you
But I'm good without ya
Yeah, I'm good without you
Yeah, yeah, yeah…
How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line, can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break
Let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time
But I'm shattered
I always turn the car around
Oh, give it up, give it up, baby
Give it up, give it up, now…
How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line, can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
All that I feel is the realness I'm faking
Taking my time
But it's time that I'm wasting
Always turn the car around
How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Don't wanna turn that car around
I gotta turn this thing around…
"Why do you always do this to me?" Maggie asked Nick softly, still holding onto him, even after the song had ended and everybody had cleared the floor.
"Because it's defined our relationship," was the reply. Then, something happened that Maggie had been waiting for all night: the kiss. And, to her, it felt better, felt right, after her years with Eric. Nick was still hers after so many fights, years and miles. And all she had to do was get rid of Eric and Nick was her again…again.
Of course, thank you to Mma63 for her reviews for this story and the previous one ("The Long Road Home") and for reminding me to keep updating often, to keep reader interest. This chapter is for her. Many thanks! So, other people out there...review? Please? Please? I know you want to!