Chapter 1

2 days, 3 hours, 16 minutes since Blaine had talked to Kurt. He was going crazy. He kept trying to convince himself he was in a bad, bad nightmare and when he woke up he would wake up in Kurt's amazingly soft arms, ready to comfort him. But his logical brain kept saying that was the fantasy. After 2 days of denial Blaine was now locked in his room. He had broken all of his lamps and candleholders now and had grabbed paint from his father's shed and splashed blue all over his walls. It reminded him of Kurt's eyes. He would probably pay for that later but it was worth it. Kurt was always telling him he needed more colour in his life.

Hadn't he realised that Kurt was the light, love and colour in his monotonous journey through reality?

Blaine knew he was an idiot. He shouldn't have encouraged Sebastian. He just loved the attention he got from him. It was flattering. But now he was sniffling in the corner of his room, too exhausted to do anything else. His soul mate had just left him.

With that thought Blaine was up throwing things against the wall again. Tears were streaming down his face, but he didn't care. He was long from caring about anything but Kurt. He was the only thing he could see through the red. His perfect porcelain skin, his Glasz eyes, his cute nose and his red lips were burned into the underside of his eyelids forever. It was wrong! How could he let himself get so weak? So weak to let Sebastian in? Kurt was the only one he loved. How could Kurt not see that?

Kurt was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He had taught him to be proud. Proud of everything he was. Kurt loved him for everything he was and everything he wanted to be. Everything he couldn't be. Who would ever match Kurt?

The realisation hit him that nobody would ever be the same as Kurt. He dropped the football he was about to throw at his dressing table. His eyes glazed over as he thought about all the times he had had with Kurt. The first time he's seen him at Dalton, running through the halls.

Getting him coffee and watching the perfect boy cry and knowing then he would never let him be hurt. Memorising his coffee order had been as easy as breathing, and paying for it had been as natural as wearing his blazer, now bow tie. Talking to Kurt was as easy as him singing Katy Perry and let's face it Katy Perry's music isn't that complex to ever create a problem for Blaine. Realising his feelings for Kurt while he sang Blackbird was the best experience of his 17 years. The world was so much more beautiful. The musical that they had both been so yearning to be a part of. The way Kurt had supported him no matter what just enforced and enhanced his feelings for the boy. Their first time together. The beautiful moment afterward when they just stared at each other. Blaine had lived for that moment. His feelings had overwhelmed him almost to the point of tears. And now Sebastian, the same guy that Blaine had assured Kurt he had no feelings for, had been the reason for their split. It was too much to handle. Once again Blaine sank to the floor, not knowing what to do. If he had ever been down, he would have called Kurt. The name caused ice -cold pricks in his heart and his chest tightened forcing the spikes deeper into his soul. Bringing his head to his knees he sobbed into the nothingness of his room. He realised he had to get out of here. There was no way he could grieve in a room that had been associated with Kurt for so long. Their private kisses when Blaine had finally gotten permission for him to take Kurt into his room. Listening to musical soundtracks, Blaine gently touching Kurt's fingertips, the electricity crackling between them. Their first time together.

God! He had to get out of here now! But where would he go? Kurt was friends with everybody in New Directions so they probably all hated him by now. He grabbed his jacket as he walked out of his house, past the park he and Kurt had snuggled on during the winter when Kurt was cold. Through the trees, he could see the highway that lead to Lima. The road that lead to Kurt. For a second he thought about driving there but he then realised: what could he do there?

But seeing Kurt would surely be better? Kurt may want to live without Blaine but not seeing Kurt at all, never once looking into his half-closed eyes, memorising every inch of his face. The beautiful ways his surprisingly muscled arms wrapped around him when he was upset. The simple movement of his fingers tracing patterns over Blaine's knees had been the most amazing thing.

Steeling his thoughts, he decided to get in his car and drive. He would just drive. However, when he got in his car he decided to instead just to drive to the Lima Bean. At least there he would be able to get a coffee when hit with memories of Kurt.

When at the counter the familiar barista smiled at him, "your boyfriend looking for sheet music again?"

Blaine felt like he had been kicked in the stomach repeatedly. The three words he had uttered that day had been the hardest for Blaine. What if Kurt had rejected him? He would not have been able to handle it. He actually probably would have been…well how he was now. He managed a strained smile and collected his order without looking her in the eyes. He knew if he did, he would burst into tears.

Suddenly, a familiar humming filled his ears. He turned to see the petite, brunette in her knee high socks looking worried. When her eyes finally landed on him, they widened and then she smiled, almost looking relieved.

Blaine was confused. Wouldn't Rachel hate him at that moment? She approached him and when she stood on the tip of her toes and hugged him he was to the point of tears. When she heard him sniff, she pulled away, grabbed his hand and led him outside to her pink bug.

Once they were inside the small car that reminded him a little of a shrine to Finn, Barbara and Patti, Blaine completely broke down.

"He left, he left, he left," were the words that Blaine kept repeating.

"Oh honey," Rachel said, stroking his curls.

When Blaine finally calmed down, which took at least 15 minutes Rachel started the car and drove them to Blaine's house. He didn't even think about how he was going to get his car back from the Lima Bean later.
Rachel led them up to Blaine's bedroom, where she tucked him into his bed and started picking up the broken shards of glass and other objects around his room. She then climbed up next to him in bed and turned on his plasma TV, situated in front of his bed.

Rachel knew for a fact West Side Story was on and she knew maybe memories were the best way for him to get over Kurt. At that thought she laughed at herself internally. Like Blaine could ever get over Kurt. There was no possible way for him to. Kurt was too special.

Rachel considered telling Blaine how much Kurt missed him. That he was in the exact same position as Blaine at this moment. But she thought that might be detrimental to both of them. That way they would never learn that they needed each other. She would just have to settle for convincing Kurt that he needed Blaine more than anybody needed anything else in this world.

Suddenly, there was a thundering up the stairs and Blaine's door was slammed open to reveal a short man with black curls, almost identical to Blaine. Except this man had hard blue eyes so unlike Blaine's soft hazel ones. Blaine was cowering, seemingly afraid that this man would do something to him. However, upon seeing Rachel, his eyes seemed to soften and a slight smirk seemed to appear on his lips.

"Son? Is this girl somebody special you would like to introduce to me?"

Blaine rolled his eyes.

"No Dad. Rachel is a friend."

"Hmmm. Where did that other "friend"," he used air marks, "go? Find another boy to corrupt."

Rachel's eyes flashed and she was about to stand up for her best friend but before she could Blaine was up and his face was a frighteningly furious mask.

"Don't you dare talk about him like that."

Blaine's father's eyes widened and his eyebrows rose.

"Excuse me?"

"Kurt did not corrupt me. I was gay before him, Dad. I initiated our relationship, I always kissed him. I…"

Before he could continue, he was on the floor, nursing the cheek his father had just landed a punch on.

Rachel gasped and she rushed to the floor to help him up. An angry, red mark was now showing on Blaine's left cheek. Tears had sprung to Rachel's eyes but Blaine remained stony faced.

"Rachel, I think it's best if you left," Blaine said through gritted teeth.

Rachel shook her head, not wanting to leave her friend. When his head turned towards her, he looked pleading. He did not want anything to happen to her too. He mouthed, "Kurt" to her and she seemed to look confused but she nodded. She grabbed her bag and ran out of the room, passing the hall full of pictures of Blaine and his father with a car, their overalls slicked with oil, to her car.

As soon as she was safe inside, she dialled number 2-speed dial.

"Finn? I need to talk to Kurt. Now! Yes I'm fine. Yes I love you too, just give me Kurt."

"Rachel?" Kurt asked on the other end of the line.

"Kurt?" he knew instantly she was crying.

"Rach, what is going on?"

"It's Blaine," she said.

His breath caught and his eyes filled with tears as his head flooded with the beautiful boy's face. The expression he wore when Kurt walked out on him. The moment he had been regretting ever since it had happened.

"Where are you?" he asked.

"Blaine's house. He needs help."

"We're on our way."

Kurt hung up on Rachel and called for Finn. He had a feeling he was going to need muscle this time.