Meus Dulce Angelus – Chapter 27 - Facade

AN – I've had a bit of a disappointing week to be honest, anyway enjoy the chapter.
Skaramoosh x

Disclaimer: I do not own Twiglet.

Jane POV
I have never been so angry. I had heard everything this monster said and I was fuming. I gave him every ounce of pain I had but it didn't feel like it was enough. Nothing could compare to Bella's pain. I didn't even notice when Demitri and Jasper walked in. Then the vile creature on the floor suddenly looked like he was in even more pain. I took my eyes of him to see Jasper with his attention focused firmly on the creature on the floor.

'I can make him feel guilty, amongst other things.'

I liked that idea.

B POV
I was awake but not really conscious. I was just aware of Felix and meus angelus. I managed to get some words out but I knew if I tried to talk again I would definitely scream. All I could comprehend was the pain and I felt myself retreat into my mind. I realised that the man who had tortured and raped had also murdered me. My body was (barely) still working but my mind and spirit had died. I had been half alive; all it took was that final meeting to fully finish me off. How could I have been so stupid to believe that anything he told me wasn't true? I was a burden on everybody; I had selfishly made them all look after me when they could have been having fun. I couldn't let that happen anymore. I figured if I could make them all think I was okay they could go back to their lives. Felix touched my face.

'Baby?'

'Filia you look... lost.'

I had sex with Felix, he must have been disgusted! I never should have put him through that. I couldn't even bear to think about what I put meus angelus through. He had sacrificed so much on a worthless slut. Guilt washed over me but I tried to shut my emotions away.
'I'm fine.'
I was surprised about how dead my voice sounded; it was like I had gone on autopilot.

'Meus carus filia, you are definitely not fine.'

Secretly I wanted to scream and cry because of the pain but I knew that would upset them and I'd done enough damage.

'I'm fine.'

My voice sounded just as dead as before.

'I'm going to get Carlisle, Felix stay with her.'

My mind told me that Felix was only staying because Aro told him to. I stayed quiet as he held me, unable to cope with the regret of what I put him through. My last words to him were 'I love you'. My last true words, the last words that actually meant anything. Carlisle spent the best part of an hour asking me questions all of which I replied with in the same dead voice.

'I think what's happened is that she's in so much pain her mind is going into denial.'

He was wrong; I knew full well that I was in pain I just couldn't show it.

'She could also have problems with her mental health which is hardly surprising considering what she's been through.'

Felix stroked my hair as I watching Carlisle leave. Meus angelus took my hands in his.

'We'll help you through this filia.'

His expression was a mixture of curiosity and horror.

'Look at her eyes, it's like there's nothing there but pain.'

Felix turned my face towards him.

'What do we do? We've got to help her.'

He was panicking. I didn't want him to worry over me, I wasn't worth it.

'Don't worry, I'm... '

'Don't say you're fine filia we know you're not.'

I just shook my head and for the time being he let it go.

A POV
Days passed and still she still denied the fact that there was anything wrong. Regardless of that the entire castle supported her. Jane and Jasper continues torturing the man who had refused to say anything more to anyone. We'd get an explanation out of him yet. Carlisle worked day and night trying to find a medication that could help her and the rest of the Cullens helped Felix and I look after her. Rosalie picked out her clothes and Esme put her hair up with a red bandanna every morning and took it down every night. Of course Felix hardly ever left her side. Demitri managed to drag him away to feed and that was it. He was the one who helped her wash and go to the bathroom. We all despaired over her mental state. She would speak to everyone but it sounded forced. She insisted that she was alright even when we all knew she was in terrible pain. She reminded me so much of Marcus when she died. Maybe he should speak to her.

M POV
I found her in the chapel, of all places. I was surprised that she was alone.

'Hello Bella, how are you feeling?'

She merely shrugged. I sat down next to her.

'Why this place?'

'It's quiet.'

I nodded.

'Everyone's very worried about you Bella.'

She looked at the floor.

'They don't have to be, I'm fine.'

'If you're fine then why are you crying?'

She wiped her eyes and deliberately wouldn't look at me.

'We know it hurts, child, we know it must be hard for you.'

I sighed before she got up and left.

'How can you walk? How can you move?'

No one knew how she could just... carry on when she was undoubtedly in so much pain.

B POV
That was bad. I cried in front of someone when I was supposed to be keeping up my facade. I promised myself I wouldn't slip up like that again. I needed to find some way to get rid of all these emotions. All I deserved was the pain. I sat on my bed. It was rare for me to be on my own and I knew that I didn't deserve the company of others. I forced myself into the bathroom. Then I remembered what I used to do to cope. I used to cut myself. I went on a hunt for the razors, they were well-hidden but I found them. After I did what I had to do I put a jacket on right before meus angelus walked in.

'Filia, why can I smell blood?'

I had already thought of that.

'My period started again.'

'Really? You haven't been eating.'

I nodded.

'Well I suppose that's a good thing.'

He still didn't sound quite sure. I hated lying to him but I figured it was for the best.

'You look tired filia, do you want to sleep?'

I nodded again. Sleep was easy; I didn't have to pretend when I was sleeping. As I was just falling asleep I heard meus angelus' voice.

'Felix, I think she might be getting better.'

How very wrong he was.

AN – I'm trying not to give in to temptation and take things to quickly so bear with me while I'm building up to stuff. Please review!

Skaramoosh x