You kiss me again, this time you were gentle, caressing my cheek gently with your thumb, wiping away my tears as you deepen the kiss.
"You're mine," you breathed the words against my lips. I used to hate those words, but now they were like a lifeline, telling me that you still wanted to keep me, to love me.. Without you I would truly be lost.
You released my wrists, and instead of my arms falling limply to my waist as you've come to expect they drift into a loose embrace around your waist, my fingers intertwining because I didn't have the strength to actually hold you. Seeming to sense the purpose of this you crush my body closer to yours than clothes could ever allow. You are not raping me though- can I really call it rape when I need it so badly to feel loved? I shiver against you as your chill envelopes me and I wonder if you could even feel how hot I was through it. The answer is most likely no, because I am human, and you are not. I wonder why I think of you like that sometimes. In reality you are just as human as I am... Maybe it's the concept of a female rapist that confuses me... Or maybe it's simply that if I thought of you as human, then I would have to hold you to the same standards I hold others. Whereas seeing you like this I can justify everything you do with ease.
You are original, one of a kind, but I am one of many. My story has been repeated over and over again whilst yours was erased. I am ugly by nature, my caramel colored skin loathed by the modern world, my spiky tri-colored hair is ridiculous and fake looking, I am small, especially compared to you, the tallest woman I have ever met. Your grip on me loosens, which I don't mind because I felt that if you were close to freezing me. You frown this time when you look at me, causing my heart to pound. For a moment I thought you finally saw me the way I saw myself, so I was relieved when you started screaming at me. The sadism in your eyes replaced my a sort of motherly concern, you scream that if I didn't fight you I wouldn't suffer a single wound. You scream at me for making you hurt me. I know my wounds are my fault, but I'm a masochist, my pride is stubborn and even though I enjoy it I always fight you, I beg for the pain. You planted a chaste kiss on my lips after I apologize to you and pick me up like a baby. You carried me into the bathroom, rocking me back in forth. When you're ordering an execution you hardly seem like a cuddler, but your actually quite affectionate when I'm being good. You whisper saccharine words into my ear as you stoke my hair, able to support my frail body with one of your arms. You set me gently in the bathtub and I clung to you, not wanting to lose contact for fear I would lose you forever. The moment you realize the motivation behind my behavior you give gentle, sadistic smile, whispering to me loving and possessive words that used to turn my stomach.
"I'll never leave you, not really. I'm not like your so-called friends, I'll never hate or pity you. I'll always be with you, my touches will never leave. I will never forget you or allow you to forget me. Your mine and mine alone, even if you beg cry and plead, I'm never going to leave you, you'll never be alone again." you gave a small laugh at the end of it, it's probably from the pleasure you get from the ability to say that truthfully.
A small smile come to my lips as I let you go, your words comforting me as sick as they are, you smirk back and kiss me. This one was a bit more aggressive than the last and tears run down my cheeks. They are of joy, of relief, the kiss is dominating and possessive, reinforcing your words. I needed to be kissed like this. I kiss you back gently, my lips fallowing yours in the submissive dance I know you enjoy. These small moments of joy and comfort make being raped repetitively more than worth it.
As you kiss me one of your hands wonders to the tap, and you turn the water on, it came out boiling hot and directly on my bare skin. I scream into the kiss and you chuckle against my lips, keeping me pinned but turning the cold water up until you feel me relax. The bath water was still hot but comfortable. You broke the kiss gently. I know you hurt me for my own good, to leave marks on me that show me my place and tell me you will never leave me. Unlike my friends, you will be with me even if your life ens before mine. You see, joy is easily forgotten, but pain is not. I could never forget you, your kisses will linger in my skin forever. Not to mention the marks you have left in my psyche.
"Soon," you always tell me, "you won't even remember you had anyone but me." and you are right, yours is the only face that shows clearly in my mind. I don't even remember what Yuugi looked like clearly anymore. But I don't mind, because I don't want to remember, memories of them only bring me shame..
You grab a sponge from the side of the tub and cover it in baby soap. You always treat me like a baby when I'm sick or injured, even if you did inflict the wounds. I love it. You pat my skin gently with the sponge, even gentler on my wounded flesh. It's only moments before the water is red with brown clumps of dried blood in it, you dab my crotch tenderly, cleaning the most abused parts of my body with extra care, I moan. When that's finished you let the water drain and repeat the process. Starting at my forehead you dabbed down my body, my face, chest, arms, hands and fingers, stomach, crotch, rubbing small circles into my butt cheeks, thighs calves, and all the way down to my toes. You wiped me off and managed to make me feel dirtier then when I started out... but I deserve to feel like this. You dry me off with a fluffy white towel, bandage my wounds and kissing each of them gently and I seethe as they sting all the same. What you chose to dress me in was insult to injury, it truly showed how sick your mind was. You dressed me in...