Disclaimer: Me no own Glee...

Finn gripped onto her hand as tight as he could, as tears ran down his pale face. He stared at her ghostly face, watching the machine next to her – the machine that was keeping her alive right now. He moved his eyes to her chest, feeling comforted by the soft rise and fall, because it meant she was still there, she might be okay.

He never blamed her for giving up, he would never be able to blame her for that. He knew anyone would have done the same, no one could have lasted as long as she had in that tiny room, for nine whole months, with no one to talk to and nothing to do. He would have gone out of his mind, and he knew Rachel would have.

He smiled a little at her, bringing her hand to his lips as he softly placed a kiss on her fingers. She always loved having something to do, she needed to be kept busy. The place must have driven her over the edge. He sighed, looking down at her body, remembering everything they had been told about her current condition. He could remember sitting there, staring at the girl he loved as he shook his head. He had repeated the words over and over again in his head, hoping that maybe if he said it enough, it wasn't true – She was raped, more than once.

He bit down on his lip at the thought, shaking his head again in anger, this time, thinking about how it would feel to wrap his hands around that guys neck and squeeze the life from him. If only he had been able to do that. "It's going to be okay, we're going to help you through this when you wake up. I know it's going to take a long time for you to recover, but I promise I will do everything I can to make sure that you smile again.." He whispered, hoping that somewhere in there, Rachel could hear him and she was longing to open her eyes to let him know she was going to be okay.

He waited for a moment, hoping and wishing she would wake up before sighing when there was no movement. He closed his eyes, trying to think of a time where they were all happy, a long time before this happened. One man had ruined their lives and Finn knew he was out of depth, he had no idea how to help Rachel, he didn't know what he could say to her. How could he possibly tell her things would be okay? How could he do that when he doesn't even know what truly happened in that cell. He could never imagine going through that, no one could.

Finn bit down on his lip, more tears falling down his face – he had never cried so much in his while life as he had done for the past nine months. He had missed her, he missed her smile, her laugh, he had missed everything about her. He blamed himself for not looking out for her properly, like a real boyfriend should have done. And now here she was, nine months later, and he was clueless as to if she could ever recover from this – physically and mentally.

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand as they both sat outside, wanting to be in the room but knowing Finn needed time to be with the girl he loved. They looked at each other for a moment before turning to face the wall, not being able to face the tears threatening to fall. They knew Rachel would need so much help to get through this, they knew they would have to be strong. They knew she would need them. "We're going to be able to do this, right?" Kurt whispered, looking his boyfriend in the eyes for the first time in months,

"I hope so.. we need to be, for her sake and for ours." Blaine bit his lip, looking over at the rest of the Glee club before turning back to Kurt – their relationship was never easy to keep up since Rachel had been kidnapped, but they managed to get through it. He wasn't sure either of them would have been okay if they hadn't had the other to lean on. Kurt sighed, biting down on his lip as he thought about his best friend being locked up for nine months, at the beck and call of some psycho who could have done anything he wanted to.

Quinn didn't bother looking up from her position on the floor, leaning against the wall. She wondered if she would be able to help Rachel, if she was strong enough to make sure the girl would be okay. She sighed, the thought of how they found her running through her head, the blood dropping down the girls wrist and he found himself wondering if she would actually make it.

She had taken a look around the room – well, prison cell would have been a more suitable name for it – there was a grubby mattress which was covered in dirt and blood in the corner of the room, with a thin and equally bloody and dirty blanket covering it. A small desk was on the other side of the bare room – and then there was Rachel, in the middle of the floor, about to die.

She knew that would be one image she would never be able to forget.

~ .. ~

Rachel

I look around the room I find myself in when I wake up, biting my lip as I try to think about what happened. I can't remember anything, I can't remember a thing. It's as though everything in the past nine months has been a blur, it's all mixed into one.

I can't breathe, I can't sleep, I can't stop thinking; am I dead?

Is he gone?

Am I finally alone?

I shake my head and carry on looking around the bright, white room, trying to find a way out. Tears run down my pale cheeks when I give up – there is no way out of this place – I could be stuck here forever.

I sink down onto the floor and curl up in a tight ball, sobbing as I try to think of how I can get out of here. I want Finn to hold me in his strong arms and tell me that I am going to be okay, I want him to take me into his arms and kiss me softly and tell me that he never actually gave up on me. And then I could lie to him and say I never gave up on him, either. It wasn't a big lie, just something for us to cling onto.

I would cling to him and cry into his chest and try and make out like that man never hurt me, he never raped me, he never beat me within an inch of death. I would try and pretend that I was okay because I can't be a victim anymore, I've been a victim for nine months now, I don't want to do it anymore.

I can smile in front of everyone, I can cry when I'm alone.

I can laugh in front of my friends, I can scream when I'm alone.

I can be Rachel again, not this shell I have become.

I can crack a few jokes here, patronize people on their song choices once more, I can join in with the fun and then curl up into bed and close my eyes tight when I'm alone.

I can act the part that is expected of me and then show how I really, truly feel when I'm all alone.

I can scream and cry and throw things across my room when I'm alone.

There's no limits; I'm free. I can smell the freedom and it's beautiful. It'd be so beautiful if I wasn't scarred, if I wasn't... ruined.

I can pretend everything is okay though, that everything is fine.

But, here I am all alone, so there's no point in pretending.

I want to die.

Why can't I just die?