Hey guys! It's me, Jesspikapal, but you probably already knew that. ;)
So, yeah, this is chater four: Change. Hope you enjoy! (I was also listening to "Change" by Taylor Swift, when I wrote this so... ;P)
Would you, maybe, sort of, consider reviewing? :3
P.S: Just thought that I'd say that Bold (in the story, not in this note!) is texting. :)
Thanks!
~Jess~
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Chapter four: Change...
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What more could she possibly become? She was his enemy. His friend. His rival. His listener. His secret keeper and his other half of the arguement. What else was there? She was his everything and yet, she was his nothing too. It just didn't make sense to her, but she wouldn't have traded this beautiful philosophy for clarity any day. This was her excitement; her dream; her fantasy, and most importantly, her everything too. She had worked too hard for too long to make him everything, and she wasn't about lose her relationship with him. It was simply too precious...
So why did she have thoughts about change on her mind?
"Why...?" She asked herself as she tossed and turned restlessly at night, in the secrecy and soltitude of her own bed. She felt guilty, but she would love nothing more than to beg him to stay with her, if only for one night. To see the satisfaction in his eyes would be enough to curb her hunger for now, but life just wasn't that simple. Like raindrops on her windowsill, they never stayed forever; they slowly dribbled away into nonexistence and Sonny was afraid. Afraid of the change of when he and she both would go their seperate ways and the only way to distract her undying feelings for him would be to watch his petty program Mackenzie Falls.
She didn't know when and where these feelings had orginally been in the first place, but the fact was that they were there. And they were stronger than ever. On the outisde, when she was with him, she was nothing but spiteful in correspondance to his own sarcastic comments aimed her way, but alone, aside from the fighting, she tried her best to be a perfect friend to him. By giving him whatever. He wanted an arguement? So be it. He could possibly crave a little bit of sympathy? Glad to be of assistance. He may wish for some form of entertainment? Sure thing, Chad.
And she couldn't do anything to stop it. The feelings and emotions whirring around in her confused head were too overpowering to fight against and so she gave in shamelessly, focusing on what had to be done there and then, not what could be in the next day.
"Chad." She would say, and he would turn around and look at her with those piercing blue eyes of his, either a cocky, self-assured smirk on his face, or an irritated frown instead. It was always one of them, but she decided she didn't mind; she'd take either. Whatever he had to offer, she would accept politely without so much as a second thought.
"Good!" Sonny would argue childishly. But she didn't care. That was their special, unique exchange and she wouldn't miss her chance to say it to him for the world. He could shout and scream and order her to leave there and then, but she wouldn't do it without uttering the word. She couldn't; it was simply too abnormal to even consider.
"Sonny." He would say in that smooth voice of his and she would immediately stand to attention. He seemed oblivious to her obvious actions, but that wouldn't discourage her. No... It wouldn't. Not any time soon anyway. Besides, what else did she have without him? Because without him, there was no excitement, no exhileration, no humour, no laughter and definitely no tears. And that was all too much to bear. She wouldn't think about it, she wouldn't!
"Fine!" He would shout and she would grin on the inside. He wanted her to argue with him. To say something back and rile him up all over again. And it was more than her pleasure to oblige.
Sonny, unable to think straight anymore, she groaned and pulled her phone from it's charger and opened up her contacts.
A... B... C! Just the letter she needed. Just the letter she wanted.
She self-conciously checked the time: Two forty in the morning. 2:40AM...
"He'll ignore me if he doesn't wanna talk." She whispered to herself, finding his contact and clicking on the "send message" option, quickly typing up a small note for him.
"Hey "CDC". You awake?" - SM
She quietly pressed the "send" button before she could change her mind and think rationally again. She was almost sure he wouldn't reply and that she would be left singular in her darkest hour of needing something to rely on. Something to hold onto, because, as cliche as it sounded (even to her own ears), she was forgetting what reality was. Yes, it sounded dramatic and like she was exaggerating a whole lot, but it was true. Whenever he was around, she forgot about everything, and her grip on reality was the price to pay for her pleasure of spending time with him. She shouldn't be enjoying it and so that, as far as she was concerned, was her punishment.
"I am now... You do know that it's 2:43 in the morning, right?" - CDC
Of course she knew what time it was! She just wanted his company so bad it stung inside. She wouldn't mind, in all honesty, if she had to watch Mackenzie Falls with him just to spend time with him. Because as much as So Random! meant to her, she had her own needs and desires to tend to aswell. And she had been the only team player for too long now; she felt as if the others were doing nothing to help in anything, as selfish as it was to think that. It just seemed as if they weren't very supportive to her and they didn't seem to appreciate her very much. But on the outside, she didn't look as if she meant much to Chad either. (But she knew better than that...)
"Of course I know that. What better way to annoy you? :)" - SM
Lies. She was in no mood for a fight, though she could do little to stop the inevitable. It would only be so long that she could prolong it for...
"Hmm, you could've insulted my perfect hair? Or maybe commented on the best show on this entire universe, Mackenzie Falls, but since you already tended to it, I'll stop giving you answers/ idea's. So, what do you want Munroe?" - CDC
What did she want? She wasn't sure. Well, she knew what she wanted right now, but in life, it was all still blury. What did she wish for? Could there maybe be just an inkling of doubt in her impeccable acting career. She wouldn't change that for the world, bt still... Something inside of her felt hollow. Like something was missing. But she couldn't quite place what on earth had so suddenly disappeared. Back to the texting, there he was, going off again about how perfect he was.
How right he was...
He was so arrogant and so conceited, but Sonny couldn't help herself. He continuously pushed her buttons and shoved her to the edge, but it was never quite far enough. She would always be left with a feeling of emptiness in her stomach, like she hadn't been given quite enough to eat. It annoyed her endlessly, but she realised that if she had everything at once, there would be nothing else to gain from him and it would make the time come faster. She was perfectly aware that the pair of them walked an extremely fragile line, and she'd never expected it to break, but it had, and she could do nothing to stop the flood of thoughts burn her mind with theories and broken rules. The rules that he had broken...
"Perfect? Best show? Alright Chad. Listen, can I ask you something? It's a little bit of a weird question though so... :/" - SM
His reply was simple.
"Shoot." - CDC
She grinned, feeling her stomach flip. She felt so bad; feeling so good because of the enemy, but she couldn't help herself, as she had admitted once before. He was simply too much to resist a good full on conversation (or arguement) with and she definitely wouldn't let her chance to converse with him go unspoken.
"Well, would you... y'know, ever change? For anyone?" - SM
Now all was left to do was wait. What would he have to say? And what what he had to say be the answer she was looking out for.
"It all depends on circumstance. Of course, CDC doesn't need to change because he's already perfect. ;)" - CDC
Exactly what she'd always been listening for; a decent answer, but not too decent. It would be too weird for her to take him serious if he didn't insert a single joke, or an ounce of indecency, even over the phone.
"What about if you were... I don't know, threatened of losing everything?" - SM
Everything she ever wanted to know...
"I guess so. If I was losing everything then I would probably have to in order to keep everything. Right?" - CDC
She read the text again and again, realising how good it felt that she was actually talking to Chad. She read it for the last time, before hesistantly pressing "back" and typing yet another text. He would change for her. He had just said so; if he was his everything, then she was so obviously his. It had to work like that, or it couldn't work altogether, and so she contained her glee
"Great. Thanks! Night... :)" - SM
Why had she even told him "goodbye"? She didn't want to stop yet! She wasn't through. But apparently she was, because the text had sent and she could do little to tell him that she didn't actually mean to close the conversation to an end, except from sending another message, but that would be a little desperate. She loved him, probably too much, but she didn't want him, or anyone else, knowing that! And they wouldn't know, because although she semmed like a lovestruck fool, she covered her tracks well. Whether it wad forcign herself to deny it in a low voice, whether she walked away screaming "No!" or whether she was keeping up the same argmentitive streak she had with Chad, she was coverign herself up considerabley well.
And that wouldn't change anytime soon, because she couldn't summon the courage to tell him anything. Not right now anyway. Maybe eventually she would suck it up and just tell him everything, like he deserved. Even if he was an arrogant idiot most of the time, he deserved the truth when the truth concerned him. And she felt guilty that she couldn't giving it to him right now all because she was suffering from minor insecurity.
"Wait, so you woke me up, just to ask that? Why?" - CDC
Well, yes, she had. She had woken him up for that. So what?
"Yeah pretty much. Say Chad, what time do you have rehearsing tomorrow?" - SM
Here she went. Now or never. She apprehensively awaited his message; her idea wouldn't work, if he had "work" too early. She had to fit something in with whatever time he had to spare. If he'd let her have that time, that is. Maybe she should ask him anyway, because obviously, if he had work early, that meant he had time afterwards to give to her, if only an hour.
"2:40PM - 5-30PM. Why?" - CDC
"Come on Sonny. You can do it. He's your rival; he's not gonna take it as a date or anything!" She whispered to herself urgently, willing herself to just ask the stupid quuestion already! Why couldn't she, Sonny Munroe, pull herself together, and chat with an enemy, who was not really an enemy bt a friend. A close friend. In fact, she was probably closer to Chad than she was to most of the cast of So Random! right now. They weren't doing much to help her with anything, and neither was Chad, but while the Randoms always teased her about her Wishful thinking, Chad countered it with his own. Slightly arrogantly while he was at it, but at least he didn't shoot her idea's down all the time, even if the comment he had to make about one of her idea's wasn't exactly the positive ray of sunshine she wanted to hear.
"Listen Chad. Would you, maybe, just meet me in the Prop House tomorrow. Whenever you're free; I'm not fussy. :)" - SM
"Here goes nothing..." She mumbled, hitting send with a furious jab of her finger. "Remember Sonny, whatever he says, you have to remain cool. And if he says no, or that he can't make it, then you have to pretend that you don't care." She told herself firmly and she almost felt her inner self nod.
Her phone bleeped with the text. Please be good news, please...
"Sure. It's not like I have anything else to do anyways. See you at 11?" - CDC
"Of course I'll see you at 11 Chad..." Sonny grinned to herself like a little school girl when she found out she got one mark above her average score. Don't ask her when she had been guiltily pulled in by his powerful presence and his captivating eyes, because she couldn't honestly tell you. She was still trying to figure it out now!
"That's fine. See you then!" - SM
"Love from Sonny." She murmured, before pressing send and smiling graciously at her phone screen.
"Sure will. Goodnight Sonshine..." - CDC
Sonshine? Yes, she liked that, she decided.
"Night Cooper..." - SM
She grinned to herself, placing her phone back on her nightstand and rolling over, pulling the duvet to her face as she felt herself blush a little bit. Maybe she should do whatever he wanted to tomorrow.
Maybe that would make him open up to her a little bit.
Either way, only time would tell if things would eventually change or not.
Hopefully not...
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So, chappie four is complete!
Love it? Hate it? Just rate it! :D
Please review? :3
Thanks!
~Jess~