"Remind me why we're doing this again?" Wes asked, struggling with the clasps on his life jacket.
"Oh, for Gaga's sake," Kurt muttered, leaning over to properly snap them them together. "Here. I swear, you're like a helpless child sometimes."
He pouted at that, crossing his arms over his chest stubbornly.
Rolling his eyes, Kurt moved back,explaining, "Apparently, one of Joshua's relatives has a boating license, and he offered to drive George and Gina's boat for us if we ever wanted to go tubing. So, here we are."
Wes frowned as his eyes lit on said relative, who was currently talking with the blond himself. "I'm not sure...," he trailed off.
At Kurt's questioning gaze, he elaborated. "Joshua still seems pretty mad for the bonfire thing. What if he...I don't know, tells him to smash me into one of the other boats driving around? His cousin will blame it on the other driver and get off with a slap on the wrist and I'll be in the hospital being fed through a tube if I'm not already dead and..."
Kurt snorted, effectively cutting him off.
Goddammit, why did no-one let him finish his tirades? Oh, sure, Kurt could go off ranting for half an hour on just how hideous animal prints were and no-one said a thing, but when he actually raised some legitimate concerns, someone had to go and interrupt as if what he was saying was the most ridiculous thing in the world.
And it wasn't. He'd seen the inside of Kurt's closet in Lima, and his monologues didn't even come close.
"Please, Wes," Kurt was saying, "for one thing, David would stop him before he could kill you, and," he raised an eyebrow at him, "I'll be in the tube with you. And, despite the way he's been acting as of late, he doesn't want me dead. Just you."
"Very reassuring," he grumbled, "I feel so much better now."
"Trust me," Kurt stated, staring him in the eye.
Dammit.
"Fine," he mumbled, looking away, "but if you get us killed..."
"Don't worry," Kurt declared, grinning.
"So, you want me to throw them out of the tube?" Andrew asked skeptically.
"Not so loud!" Joshua scolded. Glancing around, he led him onto the dock, turning to him once they were out of earshot.
"Not both of them," he answered quickly, "just the Asian one. Don't kill him, but make sure he'll be feeling the crash for a while."
Noting the look Andrew was giving him, he hurried on, glancing over his shoulder nervously. "Just swing the tube back and forth, you know, get them out of the boat's wake just as another boat passes by on his side or something."
He stopped for a moment, collecting his bearings. "For that matter, knock them both out if it's necessary to get the Asian. Send them flying-I want to see him face-plant on the water." He spoke the word "him" with such venom that there was no doubt who he was speaking about.
Andrew shifted from foot to foot, uncomfortable. He didn't quite agree with Joshua's motives, but, he did owe him a favor. And, he was family, to top it off.
He scratched the back of his neck uneasily, finally saying a rushed, "Fine," as he stared at his feet.
Joshua leered. "Good." He started to leave, only to glance back over his shoulder.
"And Andrew," he started, pausing for dramatic effect, "I wouldn't think about backing out, unless you want your parents to find out about that house party you held a few months ago on their anniversary."
Andrew paled, taking a step backwards as Joshua walked off, chuckling evilly to himself.
"What the hell is he doing?" Kurt screamed as they were launched into the air yet again.
"I told you so!" Wes screamed right back, clawing desperately at the edges of the tube in an attempt to get some form of hold.
"This is all your fault!" Kurt shrieked, nails scratching deep into his arm.
"How is this my fault?" He yelled, clinging desperately to the rubber surrounding the outside of the tube.
"Maybe," he said, voice rising in pitch as yet another huge boat flew by, sending monstrous waves crashing towards them, "if you weren't such an asshole to-" his accusation trailed off into screeching as the wave hit, sending the tube airborn.
"I'm going to fucking kill him!" He cried seconds before they landed, sending them crashing into each other.
Wes ignored him, choosing instead to look up, blinking furiously against the constant spray of salt-water.
"Shit." He whispered, blood draining from his face.
"What?" Kurt demanded.
Not saying anything, he pointed forward, watching Kurt's mouth fall open in abject horror at the source of his terror.
The mother-of-all big boats, speeding towards straight towards them.
And their driver(Andrew, as he'd learned), had chosen that precise moment to place them outside the wake.
"We're going to die!" Kurt immediately began to whimper, "We're going to freaking die!"
He wrapped his arms around Wes, rocking back and forth.
"I'm sorry for all the times I put tacky glue on the handle of your gavel!" Kurt wailed.
Wes stared at him, opening and closing his mouth in outrage. "That was you?" He asked.
He shook his head. They were going to die anyway; it didn't matter, now, did it?
"I'm sorry for all the times I put artificial flavoring in your Diet Coke!" He blurted.
Kurt's eyes widened for a moment before being replaced by a murderous look. In an instant, his hands were around Wes' neck, shaking him back and forth like a rag doll.
The waves were heading for them already, huge and ominous.
"That stuff tasted like shit!" Kurt screeched. "I'm going to murder you, Wesley Alexander Hugh-"
The wave hit them.
Everything went into slow-motion: water flying around them, his own body being torn out of Kurt's grasp and into the air, approaching the surface of the water at an impossibly fast(and painful) speed; Kurt, expression morphing from rage to apprehension, lunging for Wes only seconds after he went flying-
"No!" he screamed, gripping him tightly by the shoulders, "You're going to die by my hands, not by some over-inflated yacht owner's!"
He heaved backwards, nearly dislocating his arms from his body as he struggled against the force of Wes' whole lower body dragging in the water.
With one final profanity, he was finally back in, collapsing on top of Kurt as he gasped for air.
"You idiot!" Joshua raged, glowering at Andrew. "A once-in a lifetime opportunity to throw him off the tube, and you-"
Blaine, having heard the whole exchange, slammed a fist to his forehead, sending him crashing down to the ground.
He stared up at Blaine with gaping eyes. "What the-" he began.
Thad skipped over, pressing one finger to the top of Joshua's head obnoxiously. "You just got pawned!" He announced before flouncing off, laughing.
Several of the Warblers cheered, smirking.
Joshua was too busy sputtering to notice that the boat was slowing down till it came to a near standstill, Nick and Jeff hurrying to pull the tube in.
"Oh thank God," Kurt gasped as he stumbled off, slumping onto one of the cushioned chairs with obvious relief.
"You." Wes said shakily, pointing at Joshua. "I will deal with you later. If Kurt doesn't get to you first."
He gulped at that.
So; not really a plot builder, but I think the humor makes up for it, no?
I kept on wanting to do a tubing chapter, so here it is!
The Warblers will be going back, unfortunately, in one or two chapters, so enjoy it while you can.
I'm fairly satisfied with this chapter. :)
So: I've made Joshua evil, and I kind have to feel sorry for Andrew.
Andrew and Adam from several chapters back; named after my two brothers, who I happen to despise. Blah.
I beat the 100 mark! I'm so ecstatic, I can't even...I love you all. *sniffs*
Glee is NOT MINE.
-Mel