Title: Between Dreams and Reality

Disclaimer: Artwork is Forgive Me Sirius by Satine Black ( satine- black. deviantart )

Rating: M

Chapter Eight: Waking Up

Sirius's hands paused on the door handles, hesitant. Apprehension coiled in his gut as he stared at the dark oak wood and the carved intricate designs surrounding the Potter family crest.

The Potter's ancestral home was nearly three hundred years old, lavish just like Grimmauld Place but with none of the charm and beauty. It stood two storeys tall, with flowering vines creeping artfully across the sides in outbursts of violet and green. The tall windows showed peeks of gold hand embroidered curtains, patterned with deep maroon. The terrace had deep gold steel railings, each bar branching out to leaves that curled sideways and reflected the early hours of sunlight at dawn. They didn't possess the aged and faded beauty that the rest of the house did, but only because the railings had been an extra addition by Mrs. Potter. She had had them installed back in 1975, when James and Sirius's roughhousing had escalated to a minor fall and not so minor injuries.

Sirius had been a part of this house during for the better part his school years - laughed here, loved here, played here, truly lived here. To think James would give up his father's house to the Order of Phoenix, never once asking of Sirius's opinion. It felt like betrayal. Even though it was never actually Sirius's home, he had considered it as so. And as irrational as it seemed, Sirius felt as if James had given it up almost on purpose just to spite him.

'Sirius, it's all right,' Lily's hand closed around his and she smiled kindly at him. 'Remus was a part of us. They're here to help.'

Fear coiled tighter in his gut. The fear of losing Remus like the Order had lost many others. That the pride he'd set aside when he begged Dumbledore for his help would amount to nothing. Gathering what courage he could muster, Sirius pushed the door open. All heads turned towards him in curiosity, some in sympathy. The Order has grown since Sirius last left it, though not substantially. Many of the old faces were gone and Sirius had a feeling that it wasn't just for a holiday. They had probably been sacrifices for the greater cause. Just like Remus Lupin.

Sirius's fists clenched tightly.

'Come on, mate,' James clapped him on the back lightly before steering him towards one of the many empty seats. A hot cup of tea was pressed into his hands and Sirius was given a moment to calm himself before Dumbledore spoke.

'Peter, thank you for taking the time to come. I'm sure you're worn out after your mission in Poland.'

Sirius's head whipped around at the mention of Peter's name and he was shocked to see his chubby school mate looking haggard and weary. How long had it been since he'd seen Peter – seven, eight months? They'd been best friends at one point but Sirius had started to pull away from everyone after Regulus's death. James and Lily had been persistent and patient; Peter had not and they'd eventually drifted apart.

'When I heard Lupin might be alive, I had to come,' Peter replied wearily. He really did look worse for wear - sunken cheeks, pale skin, and a good few inches, it seemed, off his previously robust waistline. Sirius suddenly felt guilty for shutting Peter out for so long. The last time they'd met, Peter had been worried about his half-blood mother getting attacked. Sirius wondered if she was okay.

Peter's eyes met Sirius's momentarily and for a split second before they moved away, they seemed to reflect fear. Sirius blinked, taken aback, and then looked away.

'We have an urgent matter in our hands,' Dumbledore started slowly, pushing his half moon glasses up the bridge of his nose. 'As you have all probably heard, we've made a grave mistake in our search for Remus Lupin. He is alive.' The crowd broke into urgent murmurs, some gasping in disbelief and relief at the same time.

'There is reason to believe that he is being held captive by Voldemort and if he is being kept alive after all this time, then it is not without an ulterior motive.' Dumbledore clasped his hands together and looked pointedly at Sirius before continuing, 'We have been able to single out a possible location of his whereabouts, taking into account where we'd thought to have found Remus last, as well as information that Sirius Black had been kind enough to give us.'

Sirius frowned in confusion.

'The smell you described to us, Sirius - Deull - leaves from the hanging tree. They're very rare and only found in certain areas of Scotland. Remus is also possibly being held underground, probably by magic given his monthly condition. So we need to keep an eye out for traces of left over magic,' Dumbledore explained. 'Maps have been laid out of all the possible areas and we'll be splitting into groups according to strengths and a team leader needs to be appointed in order to...'

Sirius's heart thudded painfully in his chest as he listened to Dumbledore divide The Order into teams of four. Hope soared in his chest as he watched hands raise to volunteer, their eyes reflecting their eagerness to help. Ideas were thrown back and forth, along with questions of Remus's well being. There was a sense of worry and urgency in the air, as Dumbledore explained that they didn't have much time. They felt what Sirius felt; they cared the way Sirius cared. Suddenly, Sirius wasn't as angry at the Order anymore. He still felt wronged by Dumbledore, but everyone here was out to do right. Sirius wished Remus could see this now. Perhaps then he would understand that he was never quite as alone as he made himself out to be. Remus had made friends here - he just didn't know it.

'Now, I need to embark on a subject that had been plaguing my mind since the early days of Voldemort's tyranny. How many of you have heard of the word, Horcrux?'

The thudding came to a stop.

The silence in the room was almost palpable as Dumbledore launched into a vague explanation. No one knew how the Horcrux worked; had barely any basic knowledge except for its purpose. There was one who knew – Horace Slughorn, but he had conveniently put himself into hiding. A hiding of shame and remorse. Sirius wasn't surprised – their old Potions professor had always been a bit of a nut.

There are assumptionsbehind the Horcrux, Dumbledore put kindly, even though the meaning behind the words were clearly, 'worst case scenario'. It sounded ludicrous - splitting one's soul; was it even possible?

'Sirius,' Lily whispered, gently coaxing his hand apart when she noticed blood running down the crescent shapes he'd carved into his palms. It hurt - that sinking feeling of reality that told him that he might already be too late. That Remus might already be...

Which was worse? Death or possession?

Sirius closed his eyes in honest prayer, hoping against all hopes that Remus could hear him:Please be alive.I'm coming, so until then,please bealive. Please be alive.

His head was pounding.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

It sounded like the rhythmic beating of his heart beating through his skull. Seventy two times per minute. One point two beats per second, like a hammer pushing into his skull, shattering it into pieces.

Please be alive.

The wolf howled, rejoicing at his victory. In a matter of hours, Remus would voluntarily be his. The wolf had spent twenty years with Remus, as his protector in the beginning and then as an enemy as Remus tried his hardest to restrain and deny that part of himself. The wolf's resentment towards Remus had festered to hate and finally to murderous spite.

Remus welcomed it. He came to peace with it. The moon was close - even without windows, Remus could tell.

Please be alive.

Yet, the wolf still scratched its claws against the inner walls of his stomach, causing Remus to spasm violently before throwing up nothing but water and bile. It rattled its cages in Remus's head, mocking him.

He lay on his side, the cool stone floor numbing his skin. Tears of agony and shame pooled underneath, soaking into his hair. He no longer had the strength to see Sirius, no matter how desperately he wanted it. So he contended himself with simple memories...

Remus feels like an idiot hiding here. There is absolutely no need for him to hide; yet, he finds himself squeezed into a ball, too small for his long frame, between the wall and the bookshelf in the restricted section.

'Fuck!'

Sirius Black. Somehow, it seems as if no matter where he went, Remus always manages to find himself in Black's vicinity. Perhaps it has to do with the soft twinge in his heart or the tingle of his fingers that begs for a simple touch from the other boy.

'Fuck this!'

The bookshelf that Remus's back is tightly pressed to shakes as Sirius kicks it angrily. Remus prays it doesn't collapse. Wondering what could have angered the Black boy so much, he peeks out curiously, straining to maintain his balance and not blow his cover. His breath catches in his throat as he realises that Sirius has slid down to his knees in defeat, fingers buried in his hair. He's crying. They are silent tears; angry tears, and for some reason, Remus's heart aches for him.

It's only a crush, Remus tells himself as he slides back in.This isn't any of my business anyway, Remus assures as Sirius lets out a watery sob.He doesn't even know who I am.

Remus sighs and peeks out again. Black is truly a mess - his face is flushed, hair in disarray and his robes and tie are discarded to the floor in anger. There are many guesses Remus can make to the cause of Sirius's upset. The Black family doesn't exactly keep their disapproval of their first son private. Remus still cringes when he remembers the particularly nasty howler sent to Sirius last Sunday. Horrible words; there were horrible words that even Remus has never heard as a werewolf. There are also rumours circling around about Sirius Black's newly found sexual orientation. Remus has heard them and wondered how the same people that pretend to worship him can say such cruel things behind his back.

Remus touches his lips softly, remembering the kiss they'd shared only a year back. It had been right here, hadn't it? In this very section of the library because no one ever came here. It was isolated, and it hits Remus that it is probably why Sirius chose to come here again.

'You're such an idiot, Sirius,' Remus hears Sirius whisper softly, 'getting your hopes up when you can't even remember his face right. He isn't even here. He's never here.'

Remus frowns. He? Who?

Sirius sniffles and Remus sees him wipe his nose and eyes with the back of his hand. Remus suddenly can't take it anymore-all these tears. WhatRemus does next has nothing to do with sympathy. It is purely selfish because his chest hurts when Sirius cries and that can't possibly behealthy. Remus doesn't need cardiac issues to add to his ever present werewolf condition.

So he squeezes out to the other side of the bookshelf, crawling on his hands and knees in search of just the right book. He charms certain words on certain pages to magnify and bold out of the pages, feeling utterly stupid, and then tips them over to Sirius's side.

'What the fuck? Who's there? Hello?'

Remus crouches low and prays that Sirius is truly as smart as they say, and that he understands without Remus having to make a fool of himself.

'The Therkichritus is known for its carnivorous attitude towards all humans and magical creatures. Despite being of the plant species, itspowerful jaw is feared so much so that even dragons DON'T dare come near it. Fine CRYstalline powder extracted from the inner root veins areused in many high level and illegal potion making.'

Remus charms another book and tips it into Sirius's side, before crouching down low on his hands and knees. He prays fervently that he won't be found out.

'IT IS speculated that ALL the Goblins that had participated in the rebellion had staged their own loss. General Porkut and his RIGHT handman...'

Sirius's laughter echoes in Remus's ears and he swears it is the sweetest sound he's ever heard. It is a sound of dried tears and an almost bubbling mirth, and Remus's chest feels lighter than ever. He bites his lip and peeks through the books one last time to catch a glimpse of Sirius's smile, before walking away as quickly as he can to the other side. There is another book in his hands, held close to his chest. A book that he reconsiders passing on to Sirius in the last few seconds because he loses the courage to.

'LOVE potions, like YOUth potions are illegal in the wizarding world…'

And even as he sits down in the Common Room to finish his Charms homework, Remus feels his cheeks start to redden with pleasure every time he thinks of Sirius's smile. He doesn't even realise that he's stolen a library book.

'Sirius! Over here! I think I found something!'

Tooeasy, Sirius thought once again as he, James, and Frank ran towards Peter.

Everything was coming to them too easy - there were no apparition wards, no hidden guards or security spells in the vicinity. They were in the wrong place, Sirius was sure of it. There was no possible way that Voldemort would be so complacent as to disregard security measures entirely for one of his holdings, especially if what Dumbledore claimed about the Horcruxes were accurate.

Sirius only hoped that the other teams would have more luck and send out a signal sooner than later.

'Sirius, there's some kind of enchantment here!' James exclaimed, bending to his knees and pointing his wand at the ground. Sure enough, James's wand was vibrating from enforced magic. 'Revealio!' The air around them shimmered for seconds - red and green - before settling in back to normal. 'Pete, send a Patronus to the others. Tell them we found it.'

Sirius frowned, dropping to the ground beside James and Frank, both of whom had already started trying to break the spells. 'Don't you think you're being a little hasty?' Sirius asked, despite the frantic beating in his heart. Had they really found it? 'It could just be a store house or panic room. It could-'

The ground split apart to reveal a small hole just large enough for a person to fit through. The earth underneath their feet trembled, kicking up small bits of rock and dead leaves, as disks of dirt shot from the walls of the tunnel, creating a mock staircase.

Sirius, Frank, and James exchanged looks between themselves before turning to Peter who was staring at the makeshift pathway with apprehension. Despite the drift between them, Sirius was accustomed to the expression on Peter's face - that look of fear just as they were about to force him into joining another one of their insane pranks or conquests. He'd seen in countless time back in their school days and even now, it didn't fail to arouse a spark of irritation within Sirius.

'Do you still think it's a store house?' Frank asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sirius ignored him, choosing to dismount the stairs first, wand clenched tightly in his fist. The alarm bells in his head were ringing - warning him of impending danger. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins, making his heart pound almost painfully in his chest and his breath come out in rapid successions. The sound of rushing blood echoed in his ears.

Close. He was so close. So, so close and yet not close enough because they still didn't know where Remus was or if they would find him alive. Every inch of Sirius's soul was yearning for him, feeling a magnetic pull of will tingling at every end of his nerves. Sirius had never wanted something as badly as he'd wanted this, and he realised with a sense of self awe that at this point in time, he was desperate enough to doanything.

'Stupefy!'

Sirius was broken out of his reverie as a shot of green light brushed past his ear and straight into someone who had been advancing towards them. It was too dark to see and Sirius could only make out the shadow of bulky form falling backwards. Heart suddenly speeding up, Sirius glanced at James who had his wand raised and was breathing heavily, eyes wide.

'Don't let your fucking guard down, Sirius,' James growled, 'Remember we're walking on a fucking landmine right now.'

Sirius swallowed and nodded, forcing his thoughts to clear. If he kept acting this way, he would never find Remus. With new found determination, he moved ahead, making sure to keep his wand light to a minimum. His feet brushed the fallen figure as they walked, wincing when hislumosrevealed a heavily disfigured face that looked more animal than human, slitted eyes open wide in shock.

Werewolf.

Again, Sirius was hit with the idea that things were too easy. As a werewolf, their attacker would have had quicker reflexes, especially one that had already succumbed so much to the animal. If he had wanted to attack them, surely he would have exerted more strength rather than just come forth practically trottingtowards them. If the werewolf had been the runt of the group, he would have had backup. At least one other man to guard the entrance to what was meant to protect a part of Voldemort's soul.

Sirius squinted in the dark, frowning when he noticed a pool of blood spreading underneath the werewolf's head. FromaStupefy? It was likely that he had hit his head on the stone floor when he'd fallen from James's spell, but not too likely. He kicked the still body gently with the front of his boot, letting out a sigh of relief when the werewolf's chest moved inwards from an inhale. Breathing.

'James,' Sirius whispered, grabbing James by the forearm tightly, 'go back.'

James looked into Sirius's eyes piercingly, 'You feel it too, don't you?' he whispered, his wand hand tightening. 'Too easy…almost as if it were a trap. No guards except that one and even so it's flimsy – this whole setup…'

There was a reason why James and Sirius had always been considered brothers back in school. 'I'm going ahead,' Sirius elaborated with determination, 'but I need you lot to go back and report what you've found and maybe stop the rest from coming in. I don't want to take any chances, not with the full moon so close. I need to find him…'

James shook his head. 'Sirius, it's too-'

'I'll come with you,' Peter cut in, stepping up to Sirius. 'You can't go in alone. We'll split into pairs. I know all of the Order signals and spells, and my Animagus is a rat. I can scout for any traps that might have been set and look ahead…'

Sirius hadn't even known Peter was an Animagus, yet James didn't seem surprised in the least. Just how much of his friends' lives had he missed? When had Peter become so brave to volunteer himself willingly into what was clearly a trap? Not to mention, smart enough to master an Animagus transformation when he couldn't even pass half his exams without James's help.

'I don't think you should, Pete,' Frank said slowly, though he could probably see that a part of Sirius did want backup. 'It's dangerous and we don't know what all this is going to lead to and-'

'We're wasting time,' Peter replied shortly, turning away from all of them and setting off ahead. He was walking faster than Sirius ever remembered him capable of. Practically running. They had wasted too much time searching for a hideout, more time than they'd anticipated and currently had on hand.

Sirius shrugged, clapped Frank and James on the shoulder and set off behind Peter. They were both slowly breaking into a run, a sense of urgency looming in on them as they realised that the full moon was only half an hour away. Despite it being pitch dark, Sirius felt he could sense the pull of the moon perfectly, and it was far from pleasant. It felt…painful, though Sirius felt no physical pain. It was an ideaof pain, as if it was supposed to be there but his brain was simply choosing to ignore it.

Corridors passed by in a blur, the consistent stone walls all melding into one single image of grey.

'This way!' Peter cried out, as they turned right from a split tunnel. 'I think I see something! A light of some sort! I can…'

Peter's words died out as light flooded the room and Sirius was suddenly struck with the thought of static. It felt like one of his dreams or perhaps he would have to call them messages from Remus now. Surrounded by whiteness with nothing but a gentle humming sound steadily tickling his ears, Sirius stood still in confusion. He looked to his right and saw Peter as nothing more than an outline in the overflow of light. The humming grew louder and an ominous feeling crept up Sirius's spine – it was the sound of a machine starting up, gears clicking into place.

And then suddenly, he found himself being pulled backwards, his arms and legs flinging outwards as he fell into an endless chasm. Sirius closed his eyes tightly, feeling his hair whipping painfully against his neck as he waited for the impact that was sure to come. His hands tried to move up to shield his head but the force of the wind was too strong. It resisted and pushed back Sirius's arms before him, leaving his head and neck exposed to pain that was sure to come.

Yet it didn't.

At least, not as hard as Sirius had anticipated it. He was laid, almost gently on his back. He kept his eyes closed, taking in the feeling of smooth, cold floor underneath him. Marble. It smelled different as well; sweet, like expensive perfume. It was familiar in some ways, but Sirius couldn't quite place how.

'Sirius? Why are you sleeping on the floor?'

Sirius's eyes shot open. 'Regulus?'

'Who else, you knob?' Regulus laughed, gently kicking the side of Sirius's thigh. 'Been dreaming again, have you?' At Sirius's confused expression, Regulus laughed harder. 'Come on, get up already. Honestly, I don't understand why you insist on overtime if you can't even bring yourself to climb up the stairs to your bed at the end of it. Just take a break already. You work too hard.'

Sirius got up slowly, his hands brushing against the floor slowly, making sure that the cold he felt at his fingertips was real. 'Regulus, you…' He swallowed, bringing up shaky hands to his brother's face, tracing underneath his eyes, his cheeks, that familiar jawbone. 'It's really you…Merlin, it's really you…you're not…you're not…'

'Sirius, you're really starting to scare me.'

Impossible.'What did I give you for your fifteenth birthday?'

'What?' Regulus asked incredulously, slapping Sirius's hands away.

'Please…' Sirius whispered, fearful of the hope that was rising in him. Had it all really been a dream? No…no, it was impossible. He remembered the grief, Dumbledore's words, the empty coffin and the emptier funeral.

Regulus frowned. 'Sirius, you're being-'

'Answer me!' Sirius cried desperately.

'A black face,' Regulus replied shortly. 'On my fifteenth birthday, you and James filled my gift box with minor explosives and dung bombs. I couldn't wash the smell off my skin for weeks.'

Sirius stared. Swallowed. And then suddenly, launched himself at his brother, arms going around Regulus in a tight hug. He found himself laughing; laughing in relief, laughing in glee; laughing because his brother was alive and it had all been a bad dream. All of it had just been a bad dream and someone had finally waked him up to blissful reality.

'Honestly, I don't know what's gotten into you today.' Regulus muttered, moving away from Sirius's delirious embrace. 'Now, come before dinner gets cold.'

He pushed open the doors to the kitchen, though Sirius was too high on happiness to remember walking to it in the first place. He followed his brother inside, relishing in the simple feelings of solid weight against his palms and the pungent aroma of food that accosted him as he stepped into the kitchen.

'What took you so long? I'm starving!'

Sirius felt his stomach drop to his feet.

'Sorry,' Regulus rolled his eyes. 'Sirius was being a complete twat. Don't know what's gotten into him today.'

'Hopeless,' Remus smiled. 'Come on, then. Let's eat.'

The end. :p Very sorry for the long overdue chapter. This was supposed to be the last one but it just kept getting longer and longer until I had to cut it into two. But no worries, most of the next chapter has been written so hopefully it will be posted soon. Hope you enjoyed reading it and do drop in a review or two telling me what you thought. Also thanks to Moonlight for pointing out the the site had taken liberties with my formatting and stuck all my italic words together. Honestly...sheesh. Cheers!

MelanieWitzigreuter: Hope you liked this chapter just as much. I needed it to develop the rescue mission rather than having everyone just barge into the whole thing. But yes, the end is near! Anonie: Thank you! Hope you like all my old ones as well! Qt: Lol…it was the power of a lot of things I suppose, but yes, all will be revealed progressively in the last chapter. Moko: There's a lot of the rescue mission to come. This chapter is just the tip of the ice berg! Hope you enjoyed this one and thanks for reviewing!