"The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love
and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it,
you will discover that for you the world is transformed."
Jiddu Krishnamurti

CHAPTER 8: DISCOVERIES

On our long flight, he told me all about his family and friends.

His mother Esme and his father, Carlisle, had always loved living in London and, with their passion for music and money being a non-issue, they had begun a rare and antique musical instrument workshop on the top floor of their home.

Edward's pride was quite evident in his mother's musical talent and her eye for finding rare and important instruments. His father's detail-oriented and patient nature had settled him into the role of 'repairman' for the beautiful instruments with ease. They only worked on items by consignment and their clientele was, of course, exclusive. Edward became slightly apologetic and I smiled encouragingly for him to continue.

It was just so enthralling to listen to him talk—I loved his voice. I shyly told him this and he looked a little embarrassed, rolling his eyes at me. He kept talking but his embarrassment did not abate.

He told me that he had almost immediately shown musical talent. He shook his head and admitted that he had always taken great pleasure in playing the grand piano that had been one of the family's first acquired musical instruments. Alice also had shown great promise with her singing abilities but, as with Edward, choose not to pursue a career in music—it was something they enjoyed doing immensely as a family but strictly for their own entertainment.

He told me more about his sister, Alice. She was three years younger than him, making her the same age as me. She was married and living in London with her husband, Jasper Whitlock, and their two young children. Twins, in fact.

They had met in Switzerland while she was attending school and he was there on a month-long skiing trip from Texas with his family. They almost instantly fell in love and never looked back.

Jasper wanted to stay in England to be close to her, so he decided to attend the School of Clinical Medicine at the University of Cambridge. He had always planned on becoming a Psychologist to help people with uncommon mental disorders and their program was world-renowned. It worked out that he would be attending Cambridge at the same time that Edward would be starting. They were the same age and of course both knew Alice. They got along so well that they ended up becoming roommates.

While at University, they met Emmett McCarty, a burly but fun-loving young man who happened to have grown up not far from the Cullen's estate in West Sussex. Edward, Jasper and Emmett became almost inseparable.

After graduation, Edward introduced Emmett and his grade-school best friend, Rosalie Hale. They hit it off amazingly well. They'd all become the closest of friends and it had seemed like everything was going their way. The only problem was Lauren, Edward's old girlfriend.

I knew that he must have had someone in his past, and I wasn't sure I wanted to know about this part of his life. But I really did want to know everything that he would tell me about himself. Even the difficult or uncomfortable things; even if it was uncomfortable to just me.

I gave a sad little sigh and he looked down at me with his eyes slightly crinkled. I nodded for him to continue. "I want to know everything, Edward. Please tell me." I looked at him reproachfully. "Don't edit, either."

His eyes got slightly deeper and then… He told me everything about her. About his and apparently her indifference. About how they'd seemed to stay together simply for convenience. About her betrayal…

Then he told me something that made us stare at each other in a way that made the air crackle around us with its intensity.

Very quietly, almost in a whisper, he bared his soul to me. "Bella, until I met you, I had no idea what love was supposed to be for me. I've seen it work in the lives of those around me but I never imagined…" He was holding one of my hands and he slowly closed his eyes while lifting my hand to his lips, slowly kissing it and speaking against it. "I could never have imagined anything this… Intense, beautiful, sweet… Anything this magnificent."

If we had been alone at that moment, I had no doubt that I would have fallen upon him, kissing him everywhere my lips could reach.

I would have given myself completely to him right then and there.

However, we were on a plane with other people all around us and he wasn't telling me these things to stir up my passion for him. He had told me this so that I would know that he'd completely opened himself up to me.

The feeling of electricity hummed around us perceptibly.

I tentatively reached my hand out to his face, gently tracing my fingers around his eyes and his mouth. I tried to speak as low as he had just moments before. "Edward, I don't have anything to give you other than my whole heart and my entire soul."

He shuddered and kissed my hand more ardently. In tandem, we told each other how much we loved the other. I giggled and he grinned, opening his eyes to look at me and roam over my face. "My love…" He sighed and so did I. "We'll be landing soon."

I was suddenly nervous again. He must have felt me tense and gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head. "Silly girl." He gave me my favorite crooked smile. "No matter what they think, no matter how shocked they may be, even if they love you as quickly as I did… I will be there with you, to explain how impossibly my life has changed for the better because of you."

I smiled at him and gave another small giggle. "O.k." I knew that he would always love me, no matter what. Our love was our glue. "I like being stuck with you."

He laughed his musical, beautiful laugh. "Your mind is so… Fascinating." He blew his breath out in a frustrated but happy sigh.

We both looked up at the seat-belt sign going off and we realized it was almost going to be time to disembark. After the plane stopped, he got my small carry-on bag and our raincoats down from the overhead compartment, holding my hand all the way out to the waiting area by our gate. I stopped and let go of his hand for just long enough to put on the raincoat, to make it easier to walk and hold his hand as we went to get our cases.

I was really here.

In London.

With the most gorgeous man I'd ever set eyes on.

Of course we went through customs separately since this was his homeland and I was the visitor. I felt empty without him next to me.

When we met each other on the other side of customs, without even thinking about where we were, we kissed. Apparently a little too passionately, since we both heard an older couple pass us and mumble something about 'getting a room.'

I was mortified. Edward just laughed.

As we headed to the baggage area, he would glance over at me every few minutes, I think wondering what I was thinking. I gave him the biggest smile I could muster as he laughed again. He returned my smile with one of his own as he spoke. "You're wonderful, you know that?"

I looked down, saw one of our pieces of luggage, and stepped over quickly to grab it off the carousel. "I'm just so… Happy!" As I said this to him one of the wheels caught on the edge of the still moving conveyor and I fell in a heap on the floor next to it.

"Oh! Oops." I giggled and he quickly came over to rescue me.

"Are you alright?" Other than my pride being dented, I was fine. Shaking his head at me, Edward motioned for me to stay with the first piece of luggage that I'd managed to get and he retrieved our last piece. "You're wonderful but a little clumsy." He tried not to laugh.

I narrowed my eyes at him and gave a little huff. He stifled another chuckle at my expense, and I tried very hard to tamp-down on thoughts of 'accidentally' ramming my wheeled case into his shin. Turning and seeing his smiling and happy face, however, made me feel chagrined. He wasn't trying to be mean and it's certainly not his fault your clumsy. I scolded myself. We headed downstairs and out towards the group travel area and taxi line.

As I wheeled my one case towards one of the open sliding doors that led to the outside, I told him a little too loudly, "It's really your fault. You distracted me with those big, green eyes of yours."

As I made it through the doors I almost ran down… His sister.

She had apparently heard me describe Edward's rather unique eyes and had immediately turned to see if it was her brother someone was talking about.

"Oh! You're… One of my grandmother's best friends?" I heard a high, musical voice squeak. I suddenly felt self-conscious.

Edward quickly stepped between us. "Alice! You're already here to pick us up! This is great!" He smiled a huge smile at her and she was so disarmed she forgot about me for a few minutes.

They quickly hugged. "Edward! Fantastic! Jasper won't have to pay a small fortune at the short-stay parking now." We headed quickly in the direction Alice was rapidly walking.

After about a ten minute walk, she turned and waved at an attractive blonde haired man sitting behind the wheel of a shiny black Range Rover.

As we walked up to their vehicle, those moments of forgetfulness that Alice had experienced at greeting her brother had apparently passed.

"Edward?" As she was raising one of her eyebrows at Edward, she was staring at me. I started to feel a little uncomfortable, until he spoke.

"This is Isabella Marie Swan, the love of my life." As he smiled his best crooked grin at her, he stood very tall as he placed his free hand around my waist. I watched her eyes brighten perceptively in response.

A small smile played around her lips and she came towards me with her hand outstretched. "It is very nice to meet you, Isabella."

Edward quickly corrected her. "She prefers to be called Bella, however." He turned back to me, "Bella, this is my crazy but loving sister, Alice." He was so excited that we were meeting he was almost bouncing.

"Hello. It's so, so nice to meet you." I blushed slightly as I shook her hand.

"Um, thank you." She gave a look to Edward that even I could read. You WILL tell me everything, my DEAR brother! Was written all over her face. Later Edward told me about the violently whispered conversation that they'd had at the back of their car, while he'd pretended to struggle with the luggage and I'd gone around to meet Jasper.

"Oh… My… GOD, Edward. She's so pretty and... So… Obviously in LOVE with you!" I was quickly exasperated with her. "ALICE, keep your voice down! I'll tell you everything later…" Apparently, in the moment that I glanced up at my Bella talking to Jasper, Alice noticed the gleam that came into my eyes as I stared at her. She rapidly whispered in my ear, "Edward… You're looking at her like a blind man that's miraculously received his sight for the first time… I feel like I'm seeing YOU clearly for the first time!" She gave me a tight hug. "I'm soooo happy for you." As she walked over to the other side of the car to get in, I was sure I saw a tear on her cheek…

Almost the entire way to their home, Alice barraged us—well, mainly me—with questions about Lizzie, her book, my job, my dad, California… She told us about Rosalie and Emmett, their parents and of course their children, Susanna and Joseph.

She was so proud and it was so evident that even Jasper laughed at her. "My darling Alice, Bella is probably exhausted, especially if she's never been on a flight that long before. Notwithstanding the time change…?" He had a slight Texas drawl that was charming. He looked over at her with one of the most loving looks I'd ever seen bestowed on another human being.

She visibly calmed. "Sorry Bella. I'm just so happy … For you both." She seemed to edit whatever it was she'd been about to say and I felt Edward tense slightly next to me for a few seconds… Then it passed.

Until Jasper had said it, I hadn't realized that I was pretty tired. We reached their home in under an hour. It was about 11:00 a.m. London time, Saturday, and we'd left Connecticut the day before… I can't sleep now… It's the middle of the day, for crying out loud! I felt Edward sense my slight frustration and he squeezed my hand.

Alice suddenly spoke and she sounded a little embarrassed. "Hey guys, I um, thought that Bella was going to be someone… Er, a little older… So I sent the kids over to our parents for the day." She smiled sheepishly at Edward.

He laughed loudly. "I cannot begin to tell you the satisfaction I feel right now in finally being able to spring something on you, Alice." We all laughed at his statement, much to Alice's chagrin.

They lived in West Kensington, on a very British-sounding street name called 'Dewhurst Road.' When we got out of the car and walked up to their beautiful home, it reminded me a little bit of San Francisco. It wasn't painted as dramatically and there were no spaces between the homes but it still made me think of San Fran.

These, however, were true 'row houses,' just with the dramatic effect of Victorian embellishments on the outside of the home; which I found a little overwhelming. I didn't exactly feel homesick, it was just a reminder of what I might be leaving behind me.

I sighed and leaned into Edward. He looked down at me with a slightly concerned look on his face, and then I smiled reassuringly up at him. "Love you… But… Oh, so tired…" He laughed again. That gorgeous, melodious sound I was beginning to want to hear all the time.

I quickly came out of my spell when we were all finally inside their home and I caught a slight conflict occurring between Jasper and Alice. I heard Alice whisper something frantically to Jasper. "He's in love with her, Jazz! They should share the guest room."

He responded with almost the same whispered tone. "You do not know what… Level, their relationship is at and that would be extremely presumptuous."

Edward hadn't heard this exchange, since he'd headed straight upstairs when we'd walked inside to use the bathroom. I awkwardly went into their front living room as they took their whispered argument into the kitchen.

I eyed their couch carefully, deciding that it looked pretty darn comfortable suddenly from this angle. As I was contemplating crashing out on it, I felt Edward's arm snake around my waist from behind.

"My love," I felt him shake his head in a 'no' motion against the back of my head and then I could feel his lips in my hair. "I don't think so. Come with me." He deftly whisked me up in his arms and headed upstairs.

"I… I think I might have already caused some trouble…" I told him worriedly.

He kissed my cheek. "I think it's just Alice trying not to jump you and treat you like a long, lost sister." I felt him smile against my face. "Come on. You're dead on your feet."

He took me to the last room down the long hallway, opening the door with his foot so he wouldn't have to let go of me to open it. He deftly closed the door behind us. I started to get a little nervous, wondering if he'd somehow been able to read my mind on the plane just before we'd landed.

He gently placed me on top of the covers of the full-size bed that was in the middle of the room. He then turned to the small wardrobe that was in the corner, opened one of the mirrored doors and pulled out a lightweight blanket for me.

As he turned back to me I caught my reflection in the mirror, staring at him with a look I don't think I'd ever seen in my own eyes—Wantonly sensual. To an incredibly extreme degree. It was almost... Predatory. I gasped a little bit and he mistook it for concern over his actions.

He slowly placed the blanket over me. "I just brought you up here to tuck you in myself. I didn't have an ulterior motive, Bella." He looked a little offended, like I'd questioned his honor or something. Little did he know that it was me that had 'ulterior motives.'

Before he could say anything else stupid I sat up suddenly to take my boots off violently. "Listen up, Edward." I felt a little thrill saying his name like that but I tried to stay focused. "That is not what I was thinking." At least not about you... I apparently want to have my way with you, you obliviously darling man. I was still sitting up in the bed and I blew out my breath loudly.

And then I hesitated. Should I tell him exactly what I'd thought as I'd caught my own reflection in the mirror? Was I ready for this? I realized that I wasn't, but I would tell him that too.

I patted a spot right next to me on the cover of the bed. "Come here, honey." I said very quietly. I'd never used any kind of term of endearment with him before, so I completely caught him off guard. He immediately sat down next to me with his hands loosely folded in his lap, and his knees slightly turned in my direction.

I blushed and took a deep breath. "I love you." He started to say something and I held my hand up to stop him. "Don't. This is difficult for me to say, but I promised myself that I would always be completely honest with you. So…" I had his complete attention now.

"When you opened the wardrobe, I caught my reflection in the mirror on the door." I decided I did not like the distance between us. I shifted my legs so I had them tucked under me, so that I was sitting on my knees next to him. I scooted over closer to him and he moved is hands from his lap to one behind him to hold himself up as he leaned slightly back on the bed, with the other on my right arm, slowly drifting up and down it. "What is it?" He tried very hard to not sound concerned but just curious.

I did not look up into his eyes. I did however reach my left hand up and place it on the middle of his chest, spreading my fingers out and keeping my eyes focused on them instead of his lovely face. "I was looking at you with complete, unadulterated, burning lust in my eyes. I don't want to look at you like that, to objectify you like that." I heard his sudden intake of breath and his hand swiftly tighten and then release on my arm.

Before he could say or do anything, I looked up into his eyes and continued. "You were right about me. I'm not quite ready for the more physical aspects of our relationship right at this particular moment. But I want you to understand that I'm not in any way afraid and that I'm certainly not fragile. I think I need to remove some apprehension on your part." I watched his face as his eyes widened and his curiosity turned into almost astonishment.

"Edward… Jacob and I did not wait until we were married to have sex. You should be made aware of that right now. But you should also know that I regretted it. Especially after…" I closed my eyes again. "After he was gone. I think it was because I felt it had been too soon for us, if I'd only waited, if we'd taken more time, perhaps… Things wouldn't have gone the way they did, with us practically not having any time at all together." I took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly while I fisted his shirt in my hand and continued. "I know that our actions had absolutely nothing to do with what ended up happening to him but I still feel that now, looking back... That maybe we were too casual and laid-back about some things."

I let go of his shirt and smoothed it back out with my fingers. "So, I'd like to take that part of our relationship a little slower than the rest… For a little while." I already knew that he supported me in that decision but I wanted him to understand my reservedness wasn't due to inability or a lack of interest. I was, in fact, interested in moving that part of our relationship forward sooner rather than later.

I felt the blush return. With a vengeance. My bravado after seeing my reflection had worn off but I hadn't removed my hand from off of his chest.

Edward looked at me with some sparkle in his lustrous green eyes that I couldn't quite make out. Was he surprised, entertained… Appraising me? I couldn't tell.

He simply removed his hand from my arm and nodded his head at me. "Well, thank you, again, for being yourself and being so…" He tried very, very hard not to grin at me. "Um… Honest with me."

I could feel my face start to crack. We started to laugh almost uncontrollably at each other.

"Honey? You really wanted my attention, didn't you?" If I hadn't been laughing without being able to catch my breath, I would have hit him. "Not that I minded. It was very nice."

Our laughter slowed and I realized I could hardly keep my eyes open. "O.k. That's it for confessions for one day, love." He gently pushed me back onto the bed and gave me one of his sweet little kisses. But he couldn't stop himself from licking my lower lip with the flat of his tongue right before he spoke again.

"Just in case you forget how much you drive me crazy… In that way, too, my love." He whispered.

His eyes now had a sudden look of passion in them that I would not have been able to resist if he hadn't then immediately looked away and gotten up to leave.

I sighed, laid down with the blanket he'd retrieved for me draped across my torso, and almost immediately fell asleep… Dreaming of Edward in a way I never had before. I felt a sly smile steal across my face.

~~:::~~

I awoke with someone's—Edward's, I sighed—hand lightly tracing patterns on my stomach. "I'm sorry, but Alice reminded me that it's really not going to help your jet-lag if I let you sleep too long now… I'll need to keep you awake until at least 6:00 p.m. tonight." He told me apologetically.

I sighed again, "O.k." And then yawned. It got caught in my throat when I realized that he must have come back into the room after I'd drifted off and stayed with me while I slept. "Um, how long was I asleep…?"

He had a strange look in his eyes when he answered me. "Just shy of two hours." Oh my God… Just long enough…

I sat up suddenly, so much so that he sat up with me alarmed. "What is it?" He looked confused again. I didn't answer him right away.

I knew that I occasionally talked in my sleep. Jacob had complained to me about it a few times after we'd gotten married. Since my dad had never complained, probably because he'd always slept so soundly, I'd had no idea. It seemed to usually happen when I'd been dreaming of…

"Oh!" I heard my voice squeak similarly to Alice's. My hands were now over my face while I'd processed all of this.

He gently removed both my hands. "Sweetheart, you didn't say anything that I wouldn't have wanted you to say." He leaned in and gave me a small kiss.

"I should have warned you… Or something." I was embarrassed to the degree that I was sure I was going to spontaneously combust I was blushing so deeply. I barely got the words out. "What… What did I… Say?" I looked up at the ceiling while he reached over and caressed my face with one hand, with his other resting on my thigh.

He moved his hand around to the back of my neck as he leaned in and put his lips to my ear. His breath tickled. "That you loved me and that you didn't want me to stop… Loving you." He was smiling against the side of my face and then I felt his teeth graze my earlobe. "I think you were referring to a rather... Physical form of me loving you, however."

Wow. O.k. I wasn't sure how to avoid my sudden and overwhelming need for him balanced against my extreme embarrassment.

Then a small, unwelcome thought came to me. I knew how I felt about sex too soon... I'd told him about those fears just a short while ago. However, maybe he had his own reservations regarding it.

I sure hoped not. If he wasn't ready when I was, that would be simply tragic, since he was the sexiest man I'd ever met in person. His sexiness wasn't obvious, even though he was very attractive, he seemed to exude a passion and fire that went far beyond his mere looks. I think the term 'bedroom eyes' applied in spades to him...

All those thoughts left my head as soon as he turned his face closer to mine. I sucked in a deep breath and turned to receive the kiss that I knew was coming. However, he didn't try to reach my tongue; for which I was thankful. It was as if he knew that it would have pushed me over the edge to the point that I would have jumped him right then there, my previous reservations flying out the window.

He stopped kissing me before I'd stopped kissing him, resting his forehead against mine. "Love you." He said simply.

"Ummm-humm." I couldn't even form a coherent sentence.

He chuckled at me. "Well, I guess we should go downstairs, so my family doesn't think you're anti-social or something."

I giggled. "Yeah, give me a second, though… Where's the bathroom?" I asked him a little confused.

"Just down the hall to the left. You go ahead, I'll meet you downstairs." We both got up and starting going our respective directions.

When I came out a few minutes later he was still standing in the hallway, with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He reached out and took one of my hands in his.

"Bella, I know you're probably not up for this but, I'd really, really like to take you to meet my parents this afternoon. Is… Is that alright?" He seemed unsure. As if he thought I wouldn't want to meet them.

I felt my eyebrows knit a little bit. "Edward, of course. I'd love to meet your parents."

He beamed at me. "Good! I'm glad. I wasn't sure if you were going to go all shy on me or something."

I gave a snort. "After what you heard me say in my sleep in the last hour…?" I looked at him with raised eyebrows. He laughed and it was contagious.

We were laughing together all the way down the stairs. I caught sight of Alice and Jasper staring unabashedly at us. They looked really, really surprised to see us so comfortable together.

I had to admit, it was probably awfully strange for them that we connected on such an obviously deep level. We were acting as if we'd know each other all our lives.

All I wanted at that moment was to be able to love him for the rest of my life.

I was so content that I wasn't even nervous to meet his parents… Much.

~~:::~~