"Love is a gift. You can't buy it, you can't find it,
someone has to give it to you. Learn to be receptive of that gift."
Kurt Langner
CHAPTER 10: LEARNING EACH OTHER
I watched out the car window as the large, ancient bushes that lined most of the country lanes, called hedgerows, blurred past us. We were already out of the City and not quite halfway to his family's estate.
We'd only been able to spend about two hours at the National Gallery, so we'd decided to see it more fully while traveling through London on our way back to the states in a few weeks. I was glad. The little bit I'd been able to see was spectacular.
I was certainly glad that I'd recognized the night before what was really important to him; the time and attention he paid to me. Otherwise, I would have freaked out again about the whole money issue.
I sighed as I looked around the—cockpit would have been an apt description—interior of his car. An Aston Martin V12 Vantage. Carbon Black. Special Edition. Of course. I shook my head slightly. Then he hit another curve a little too fast for my taste and I exhaled loudly. He looked over at me and grinned.
"KEEP your eyes on the road, please!" I practically shouted at him.
"Bella, I drive this fast all the time and I know this road like the back of my hand."
With my hands wrapped around the door handle, I turned to him with narrowed eyes. "Well, I'd rather not have everypart of my body end up all over the road, if that's o.k. with you." He tried not to laugh at me, since he knew it was already pretty disconcerting for me being on the wrong side of the car, and the road, from the U.S.
He sighed as he slowed down just a bit. "O.k. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to scare you." I saw him shake his head slightly.
"Please don't shake your head at me like that. My father's a cop and I've never been through the English countryside before. It would be nice to actually see some it without it being just a big, green blur." I sounded like I was begging.
He looked over at me and I could see he'd softened his stance a bit more. "You're right. I just want to get you there so badly. I guess I am sort-of showing off a bit." He slowed down a little more and my hands relaxed from off of the door handle and fell to my lap. "Thank you." I said rather curtly.
He reached over and took one of my hands from off of my leg, rubbing circles into the back of it. "I love you…" He looked at me for a few seconds very tenderly before looking back out through the windshield.
I sighed and it even sounded acquiescent to me. "I love you too, Edward."
He was looking back at the road but I could see the smile on his lips.
"What?" I smiled in response, wanting to know what he was smiling about exactly.
"I love the way you say my name."
I felt my cheeks slightly blush but they got much hotter after just a few seconds with his next words. "Isabella Marie Swan-Cullen. That sounds awfully formal. Bella Swan-Cullen…" He turned to me again. "What do you prefer?"
I stared at him. For too long. He started to look uneasy as his eyes flicked back and forth from me to the front of the car. Before he could misinterpret my silence for something insane like I didn't love the sound of his name as part of mine, I let go of his hand and reached up to stroke the side of his face gently.
"Actually, Mrs. Edward Cullen sounds nice to me." I said very quietly.
Without taking his eyes off the road, he turned his face into the palm of my hand and kissed it passionately. Delicately taking my hand down from his face, he held it tightly as he closed his eyes for just a second. When he opened them again, I could see wetness in them. "I love you more and more every moment that we're together. I didn't think that would even be possible." His voice sounded husky.
I didn't say anything more. What more could be said? Instead I played with his fingers and watched him instead of the beautiful English Countryside, as it rolled past us, virtually forgotten.
~~:::~~
During our country drive he told me all about the estate, it's caretaker James Mallory and the housekeeper, Mrs. Bailes, plus various other characters who had been working on the estate for as long as he could remember and, in some cases, had been there since Carlisle had been a boy.
He also told me about his love for the land, watching it grow and produce, being responsible for the care of the animals and the upkeep of the manor house itself. He became so animated and exhilarated while talking to me about the estate that I couldn't help but get energized about it along with him. His mood was contagious.
He was reluctant to say too much about James since he was Lauren's father and Edward would be replacing him as the estate manager, which he was currently unaware of. He explained that his parents would be handling the duty of retiring James and would be offering him the Gatehouse Cottage to live in for the rest of his life. The Cullen's were very generous, especially considering the way things had ended between Lauren and Edward.
He told me more about his friend Emmett, who he and Jasper had met at University. He explained that Emmett was a football star—to an American, he had been a soccer star—but was also a fierce competitor off the field. He had been captain of the debate team for three of the four years he'd attended college there. He explained that this was why he and Rosalie had sparked from almost their first meeting.
He spoke very kindly about Rosalie and I could hear in his voice that they had always been very close, like she was another sister to him. Even though he was somewhat vague with specific details about Rosalie, I got the impression that she was very attractive but did not use her looks to get ahead. She relied solely on her wits. She had graduated from the University of Kent with a Masters in Comparative Literature and he was pleased that we had something that was so important to both of us in common.
He did however seem a little nervous about us meeting, and told me that he was expecting Rosalie and Emmett to come by the same day we were arriving at the estate, at 'tea time,' which he explained would be around four o'clock.
"Edward," I looked over at him and could feel my eyebrows scrunch together. "Are you concerned that Rosalie won't like me?"
He gave an uneasy laugh and then got quiet for a few moments. "Not exactly..." He seemed to suddenly be choosing his words very carefully. "I think I'm more concerned with her willingness in getting to know you. She's very... Protective of me, and the entire situation with Lauren really took her by surprise, which is not something that sits well with her."
He looked over at me and gave me a reassuring grin. "We just have to get you past her harsh exterior, that's all. She's a very loyal person and once she sees that in you, she'll be forever in your corner."
I wasn't sure if I felt any better about the situation after he'd attempted to explain it but I figured at least I'd be getting it over with quickly. "Um, you seem to be really rushing me through all the touristy-type things and meeting your family and your friends…"
He pushed his fingers through his unruly hair and looked over at me with an exasperated expression. "Bella, I just want to have you all to myself as soon as possible, that's all." He gave a short chuckle. "I'm actually a very selfish man, my love."
I giggled at his honesty. "Oh, well, that's alright then. Lock me up in your tower, my Lord." He gave a snort and shook his head at me. I shrugged my shoulders. "I think it would be really nice to be locked up somewhere with you all alone but what do I know? I'm just a silly American."
He slowly turned his head towards me and stared. "I hadn't thought of that…" He got very thoughtful and I could almost see the wheels turning in his head.
"Umm, the locking-me-up part, or that I'm silly?" I asked confusedly.
He snickered in response. "Locking you away from prying eyes, of course. Well, other than my own..." He again seemed to be thinking rather hard about something...
I started getting suspicious of what he could possibly be planning, when my attention was diverted by us turning off of the narrow lane we'd been following, and pulled onto what I assumed was the entrance road to the estate.
After traveling a few minutes down the tree-lined drive, we passed the Gatehouse Cottage, which looked tranquil and tidy. About 10 minutes further up the lane we were pulling up to the manor house itself, on one of those traditional half-circle gravel driveways.
Even though he'd told me it wasn't a castle, it appeared to have some castle-like characteristics. It was built from stone, with the tallest wing built to imitate a square tower with a parapet, including merlons and crenels. There were so many chimneys that I wondered how much wood it would take to keep them all burning in the winter.
There were two wings that had peaked roofs with slate tiles, which stood at each side of the central hall, entryway and foyer, which was slightly off-center. The enormous wooden front door was in the style of a portcullis, though it had never been used to protect its occupants from a siege. Many of the smaller windows were sets of leaded window panes with a single, enormous bay window in the larger of the two wings with the peaked roofs, with the majority of the remaining windows being stone mullioned but relatively modern.
It was all a little mismatched, as if some parts had been built in different eras from each other. It was romantic and grand. I loved it.
Edward leaned over to me and took my chin in his hand. "Well, what do you think?" I could see in his eyes how eager he was to hear my opinion.
I removed his hand and kissed his palm, intertwining our fingers. "It's amazing, Edward." I was so thrilled to be there with him. "Will you show me around the grounds before Rosalie and Emmett get here?" I must have really looked excited, because he couldn't get out of the car fast enough.
"Certainly!" He disentangled our fingers and laughed as he walked around the front of the car to come and get my door for me. I giggled thinking about what an amazing man he was—he gave new meaning to what being a gentleman meant.
He opened my door and bowed to me with a flourish. "Welcome to my humble abode, my sweet Lady Isabella."
I giggled again and took his hand so he could help me out of the car. After I'd climbed out, he draped it over his forearm and walked me to the front door regally.
He rang the bell pull once and then sauntered into his home. Mrs. Bailes was already at the bottom of the main staircase to greet us. "Mr. Cullen, welcome home. Ms. Swan, it's so very nice to have you with us." I would have felt like a princess, if I hadn't been in jeans and a t-shirt. Luckily, that's what Edward was wearing too.
He laughed merrily at Mrs. Bailes and asked if she would mind terribly if he gave me the 'grand tour.' She smiled indulgently at his enthusiasm and told him our rooms were ready for us any time.
"I'll go get our luggage out of the car now, so I can take them up with us while I'm conducting your tour." He winked conspiratorially at me. I felt silly but I giggled yet again.
Mrs. Bailes had disappeared and I assumed she could be found quickly if the need arose. Edward was at my side again and he had me follow him up the grand rosewood-colored staircase. The foyer and entryway were all painted in a very light cream color, with the hardwood floors in a very light oak, which contrasted very nicely with the dark railings of the staircase. There was also a surprisingly large amount of light coming in from several different directions. For being an English Manor House, it had a surprisingly airy feel.
The first room we reached was to be mine. I came to the realization that he held no expectations for things to be anything other than cordial between us. The electricity was a constant presence but he was also ever the gentleman towards me. He simply refused to make the assumption that I would want to stay with him in his room. I could understand how it would have been extremely presumptuous on his part to assume anything different.
I just wasn't sure how I felt about being put in a room that he wouldn't be staying in too… My musings were cut short, however, when he opened the door and walked in ahead of me to set my case down.
The room was at least thirty by forty feet. There was a stunning, king-size white four poster bed with gold trim on the wall to the right of the door, with two large bedside tables that were really more like two dressers since the bed was so tall. In fact, it was so tall that there was a small step stool at the end and to one side. To my left, on the other side of the room from the wall with the bed, was a massive armoire, two small tables with a loveseat and two large arm chairs facing each other. Everything was done in shades of whites, creams and soft yellows. On the same wall as the entrance door was a stone fireplace with a mirror hanging above it that was similar to the one at his parent's home. On the opposite wall from the fireplace and the door, was a massive window made up of hundreds of diamond shapes with leading between them, with enormous, light yellow raw silk curtains. It was exquisite. "Oh, Edward…" I was speechless.
"This is the main guest room. It's the bedroom with the most light. I figured you'd like that."
"I LOVE it. Thank you so much for bringing me here." I started to get a little bit weepy.
He came over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, gently placing my head against his shoulder. "Sweetheart, I'm just glad you're here with me."
I put my arms around his neck and reached up on my toes to kiss him. "Thank you." I whispered against his lips.
He seemed surprised and then he was kissing me back. "Ummm. You taste good."
I sighed against his lips. "You should at least finish showing me around your manor house, my Lord Tour Guide." He smiled against mine and laughed huskily.
"Alright then. Let's go!" He took my hand and led me out of my room and down the hall. He showed me his study, some of the other guest rooms, a cursory view of his bedroom, and of course where the guest bathroom was that I'd be using. There were apparently three others upstairs, as well as four other guest rooms besides the two he'd shown me on the way to his study and his own bedroom.
He took me back downstairs to show me the music room—it looked like it could be used as a ballroom it was so large. It was also much more ornate than the rest of the house I'd seen so far. It was all done in shades of white, with carvings and columns along the walls. Unlike the floors in the rest of the house, which had been all wood, the floor here was made up of enormous, white tiles, with tiny black squares interspersed throughout. There was a very ornate white and gold harp in one corner of the room with a small seat next to it, with two separate seating arrangements made up of loveseats and armchairs, with exquisite black rugs under them. The centerpiece of the room, however, was a gorgeous and rather large mahogany piano.
"Oh, Edward... I hope you're going to play for me at some point on that. It's gorgeous!" I exclaimed.
He put his arm around my waist and began moving me back towards the door to lead me out of the room. "Um, yes. But not right this second, love. I've got one more room you have to see before Rose and Em get here. Come on." He lead me back out towards the foyer.
I'll be honest, I was a bit disappointed at his refusal. But with his reminder of our impending visitors, I began to think more about them than where we just were or where he was leading me to next.
To the right of the foyer was a set of doors that were carved in a rather unique pattern, one that I'd certainly never seen before on the interior door of someone's home. They were ornate carvings of dragons, dozens of them, all intertwined with each other and each with books held within their talons. Edward squeezed my hand. "Are you ready to see the most important room in the house?"
I started getting really excited since I was pretty sure I knew what this room was going to be. "Oh, yes, please!"
He let out a loud chuckle as he strode forward, sweeping the doors open away from himself. As he stood to one side, he extended his left arm out into the room like an old-fashioned showman. "The Cullen family library!"
It was incredible. It was one of those very traditional English libraries like you see in the movies, with the English oak paneling, brass ladders and several rich leather love seats and large wingback chairs. There was a fireplace with a small mantel and a large portrait of a 17th century garbed-man, with small, peach-colored armchairs at each side of the hearth. There was a game table with six heavy wooden chairs, with a magnificent Indian-style rug under it. There were knick-knacks that appeared to be from all over the world. There was one long table behind one of the love seats with one of the largest atlases I'd ever seen sitting open on a dragon-adorned wooden stand. This apparently was the room with the enormous bay window that I saw as we pulled up, so the room was lit up comfortably.
I looked over at Edward with an eyebrow raised. "Um, it's not very good for these books to be exposed to all that light…" I'd only barely gotten my comment out when he'd raised his hand towards me and shook his head. "Oh, I know. But these windows are specially treated so that the UV light can't hurt the items in the room."
I nodded my head at him appreciatively. "Nice. Very, very nice."
He then took me to see the formal dining room, with a table that looked like it could seat at least twenty people and the kitchen, which was where we found Mrs. Bailes starting work on the afternoon tea. We sat at the sizable butcher-block island and chatted with her for a little while, 'sampling' some of her confections since we hadn't bothered to stop for lunch on the way down.
We ended up not having enough time for him to take me on a full tour of the grounds, so he opted to show me his apparently 'favorite part of living in the country' instead.
"So, do you ride?" He asked me abruptly.
"Um, ride what?" I had a sinking feeling I knew where this conversation was going. I was now a little worried about what he'd meant by his favorite part of living here, the part he'd been most looking forward to.
His eyebrows knit together slightly. "Horses, of course."
"Well, here's the thing…" I began to feel suddenly too hot. "Large animals sort-of frighten me." I looked over at him with a sheepish grin.
He smirked knowingly at me. "You just haven't been properly introduced. Come on, I'm sure we've got some Wellies in your size."
As he took me to the large mud room next to the kitchen, there were at least a dozen pairs of rubber boots. I gave him another confused look. "What are Wellies?"
He pointed to the rubber boots. "Those are."
I nodded my head. Apparently this was another aberration of the whole 'English/American' language difference thing again.
There was a pair that fit over my chucks and we were quickly on our way out the back, past the open garages and on to the stables. It was about a fifteen minute walk past the garages but we were happy to just be together.
As we walked, he told me all about the horses they kept, how many foals they'd had the year previous, and how he and Rosalie used to compete in local jumping tournaments.
As we reached the stables and walked up to one of the last stalls, he started telling me excitedly about his favorite horse, Alabaster, or Ali. As I looked into the stall, I could see that Ali was big and very black, with a single white mark on his forehead. He looked to be a splendid, if rather huge, animal.
Edward led him out of his stall and had me walk slowly up to his muzzle with my hand palm up, where several sugar cubes awaited him that Edward had given me right before we had left the house.
Because it was Edward asking me to do this, I wasn't as nervous. I trusted him completely. And honestly, Ali was a gorgeous and seemingly very calm animal.
He happily took them from my palm and nudged my hand for more. "I'm sorry, Ali, I don't have any more. Your daddy only gave me a couple." He whinnied and nodded his head up and down twice. He took a step towards me and sniffed my hair, and then brushed his muzzle against my head.
"My love, he likes you almost as much as I do."
I laughed as I slowly turned to Edward. "I hope you like me a lot better than Ali does."
He laughed along with me as he put Ali back in his stall, walking in behind him with his hand on his rump. He turned and took a brush down from the top ledge of the stall and started brushing his sides. I could hear Edward talking softly to him but couldn't quite make out what he was saying… I wasn't brave enough to walk any farther into the stall.
"I've got a really peaceful, older mare that's not as tall as Ali here." He looked at me over his shoulder as he was still brushing Ali down. He had my favorite crooked smile showing. "I'd really, really like to show you how to ride. You'll love it, I promise." His voice was pleading.
"I'll… I'll try, Edward. But no promises on my part."
He sighed as he looked back at Ali. "If you're willing to try, then that's all I can ask of you."
We headed back to the house hand in hand. He was lazily swinging our arms back and forth, and I told him I'd want to freshen myself up a bit and change clothes before Rosalie and Emmett arrived. "Humm... O.k. Yeah, that sounds good."
I disentangled myself from his hand as we were walking through the foyer. "See you in a few minutes," I called after him, since he was now heading back towards the kitchen as I started up the stairs.
As I lightly traced my hand over the banister I got a little pensive thinking of all that we had done together since arriving in England. I thought about his family, his dreams for the estate… I wondered what his friends would think of me. I thought about what he'd said to me in the car on the way here…
Before I realized it, I was already back in my room. I took my toiletries into the bathroom with me, quickly stripped down and rinsed myself off in the tub. I put the same clothes back on since I'd been too absentminded to think of bringing a change of clothes in with me, brushed my teeth and my hair, and walked back to my room abstractedly.
I closed the door behind me and without thinking or even looking around the room, I swiftly took my t-shirt off and then walked out of my jeans as I moved farther into the room towards my luggage and glanced down at myself. I'd forgotten that I'd decided to wear my favorite, fanciest stuff. I had lacy, hip-hugger panties and a lace bra on, both in navy blue. As I reached my suitcase I slowed down again, thinking about things Edward and I had talked about and unhurriedly pulled out a royal blue, long-sleeved blouse and started to dig for my one skirt, a black crepe flounce-style one.
I gradually became aware of someone's breathing…
Other than my own.
I had put the blouse on by this point but hadn't buttoned it up yet, when I slowly turned and looked over towards the bed.
Edward was laying across it, leaning with his back against the headboard with his legs crossed at the ankles out in front of him, and it looked like he might have had his arms folded behind his head at one point…
His arms were now stiffly at his sides and his hands were partially balled into fists.
When our eyes met, I could feel that same intense form of electricity that had been present between us on the airplane.
I sucked in a sudden breath.
When we'd been at Lizzie's and he'd seen me in a ratty t-shirt and shorts, that was certainly not the same thing as seeing me as he was now, almost naked. Not by a long shot.
He was trying to breathe through his nose only, almost as if he were trying not to hyperventilate.
I felt my own breath catch when I saw the look on his face.
He wasn't looking at me as if he felt mischievous or embarrassed, or even lustful. He had a look on his face that reminded me of how a man is described when he has been lost in the desert for many, many days, and has sighted a miraculous oasis, with clear, clean water, and all he wants to do is to quench his parched lips, mouth and throat.
That's how Edward was looking at me. As if I was that clear, clean water for him.
My breathing accelerated… And I didn't know what to do. Go to him on the bed? Quickly put the rest of my clothing on? Stare him down until he was forced to say or do something…? I was totally at a loss.
He decided to be the first to address the situation and his voice was truly throaty, as if he really did need to drink me in.
"Isabella…" He forced his eyes closed and cleared his throat before he continued. "I had no idea that you'd walk back in here like that."
He slowly reopened his eyes and they seemed to be shimmering in their intensity, a reflection of his emotions.
"But I would be lying to you if I told you I was sorry."
He took a shuddering breath and continued, as I placed one of my arms behind my back and the other I crossed over my stomach. "You… Are the most… Beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. But I can't be in here with you, with the atmosphere almost rippling with my need and want for you."
I swallowed. Loudly. He moved very slowly to the edge of the bed and got off, towards the side that was farthest away from me and closest to the door as he continued to speak to me in a low, husky voice.
"If I stay in here with you… Looking like… You do…" It was his turn to swallow hard. "If it weren't for people coming to visit us at any moment…" Wait, what? I couldn't understand what that would have to do with anything that was transpiring in this room, at that exact moment. And then he made it abundantly clear.
"You see, I want to make love to you very, very slowly." I felt my eyes grow wide.
His voice grew stronger as he continued.
"It was not my plan to do so right now; I just came in to see you and walk you downstairs. I can't… Do anything… properly right now. I basically can't take the time you deserve. So, I'm going to leave now… And I hope you can forgive me for this extreme lapse in gentlemanliness on my part." He tried to smile but he couldn't quite manage it.
"I assure you I will make this up to you." He told me this as a promise and I gave him an encouraging smile in response.
As his back reached the door, since, he had never turned around or taken his eyes off of me since getting off the bed, he placed his hand behind himself to open the door.
I reached hesitatingly for him, and instead of trying to draw him to me, I gave him a small and slow half-hearted wave. "I love you, Edward." I told him gently.
"I love you too, Bella, more than I can possibly express at this moment. I won't expect you down for a few minutes, at the very least." He swallowed hard again. "If you choose not to come down this evening, I'll understand that too. But I left something for you on the bed that you might want to look at before you come down… If you decide to do so."
I nodded my head to indicate that I had understood him. "O.k." I told him in a very small voice.
And then, he was gone.
The sheer feeling of emptiness that fell on me at his departure was almost overwhelming.
I hurriedly put my skirt on and then stumbled over to the bed to see what he had left for me. There in the middle of the bed, was a small photo album. I climbed up on the bed and picked it up carefully. As I looked through the pages, I thought at first they were pictures of him and his sister before she'd started dying and cutting her hair short. But I realized the girl in the photos was too tall to be Alice. It slowly dawned on me that these must be pictures of him and… Rosalie?
There were pictures of them as very young children both covered in mud. Pictures of her in pigtails and Edward laughing at her. Photos of their arms around each other, with huge grins on their faces, in full riding regalia and covered in... More mud.
Then I realized what it was he'd wanted me to see.
He wanted me to know that she was just as down to earth as he was, as his family was. I felt my face light up with my own smile. He wanted to alleviate any possible feelings of insecurity or inadequacy from me that I may have had.
He knew me inside and out.
And, he apparently had plans to know me much, much better.
I would have to think about his actions just now in more depth at a later time, since I didn't want to dwell on it when there were guests waiting to meet me. I found it pretty intriguing that he seemed to be as affected by me as I was by him, however. I also found it rather interesting that how I was dressed could affect him so deeply...
I sighed with satisfaction and got ready to head downstairs, to meet his other 'sister', confident again that the only thing that really mattered was his love for me. I caught myself humming our song.
I really must be the luckiest girl on the planet. I thought to myself, as I headed down the stairs to be with my true love.
~~:::~~
The only shoes I'd brought with me were my chucks, some black flats, and a pair of black leather calf-high boots. I figured since Edward had planned on entertaining his friends in the library, I'd just wear my flats.
When I got to the library door I only opened it partway and peaked in to see where Emmett and Rosalie were located in the room in relationship to Edward. I took note that he and Emmett were seated across from each other at the gaming table, apparently just starting a game of chess. Rosalie had her back to the door, staring at the books on the shelves in front of her.
She was wearing a black, straight skirt with a silk, apricot-colored cap sleeved blouse, with ruffled cuffs and a short stand collar with a long bow tied loosely at her collarbone. Her hair was a deep, honey-blonde and it was very wavy as it cascaded down her back. She had on black calf-high boots and I wistfully wished that I'd worn mine.
I caught the end of what sounded a little bit like an argument between her and Edward. It sounded like it was something about music, especially song lyrics... Something about lyrics not being able to compete with poetry.
As I shyly came through the door, Edward caught sight of me and his face immediately lit up, his conversation with Rosalie suddenly forgotten.
He fluidly rose from his seat. "Sweetheart! I'm so glad you were feeling well enough to come down and meet two of my closest friends." He came to me with his arms outstretched and when he reached me, he slid them around my waist clasping his hands in front of my abdomen, standing behind me while pulling me back into his chest as he turned us to face his friends. I rested my hands and forearms along the tops of his arms against my stomach.
"Rose, Em, this is Bella Swan. The love of my life."
Emmett got up and came over to me to shake my hand in greeting. He was huge, at least six foot five and 260 pounds. He had very short, dark hair and penetrating, deep blue eyes. He had a contagious grin. "Hello! It's great to meet you." He shook my hand enthusiastically.
Rosalie turned around unhurriedly and placed her hands gracefully in front of her, clasped together lightly. "Hello. We've heard a lot about you… " Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly, as if she wanted to lift any hidden motives she thought I might have straight out of my head. "In just the last few days."
I was suddenly very thankful that Edward had thought to lend me his childhood photo album.
"Yes! I'm so excited to meet you both. I've been hearing a lot about you, too." I smiled at her but not too friendly. I wanted to make it clear with my body language that I didn't care what she thought about me, my only concern was for Edward and his happiness.
With that thought in mind, I realized that I shouldn't continue to press into Edward's chest with my back or grasp his hands or arms. I could have reached back and stroked his face but that too would have been sending the wrong message.
Instead, I let go of Edward's arms and stepped out from his embrace to walk forward and reach for Rosalie's hand to shake it. She hesitated for just a single moment, but it was enough for me to note that I had made the right move. Instead of appearing possessive of Edward, I came across as self confident.
Tension suddenly permeated the room and I decided that I would be the one to diffuse it, rather than make it appear that I would want Edward to fight my battles for me. I didn't think Rosalie was the kind of person that would have much respect for me if Edward was the one to do the diffusing.
"I only caught part of yours and Edward's conversation as I was coming into the room," I smiled at her congenially. "Am I to understand that you do not find music to be comparable in tenor to poetry?"
I'd caught her by surprise and, from Edward's and Emmett's faces, them as well. "Well, yes… It's actually an old argument for us. Edward of course finds that music is very poetic. I just don't agree." I didn't miss the emphasis on 'old'. She wanted to make it clear to me that she had been a part of his life for much, much longer than I had and she was going to make sure I knew it too.
"What is it exactly that you don't find poetic about music? Or is more that you don't see the cadence in most modern music that would compare to classic poetry?" Edward had followed me as I'd come farther into the room, with his hand now lightly held at my lower back. We sat down on one of the loveseats by the gaming table. Rosalie was still standing not far from the bookcase after shaking my hand, but had now turned to face me as I sat down.
I sat down very casually, placing one of my legs under me. I wanted to send the message that I was very comfortable with Edward and that she wasn't going to change that.
She hesitated. She had not expected and, in fact, was rather taken aback by my seemingly aggressive stance. I really wasn't being aggressive in any way. I was speaking in a very friendly manner about something I knew quite a bit about. However, for Rosalie, it appeared to me that it was a shock to find someone that wasn't immediately intimidated by her. Her eyes were no longer narrowed at me and her voice betrayed her interest in what I was saying. "Well, yes. That's it exactly."
Excellent. I had her now. "Well, my laptop is here in the library. I'd like to show something to you and Edward… And Emmett too, of course." I purposely included Edward and Emmett so that she couldn't jump to the conclusion that I was ganging up on her, to try and make myself look superior to her. I doubted I could do that, anyway…
She nodded her head and sat down in the wing chair opposite of Edward. Emmett had moved one of the gaming table chairs over so he would be able to see the small screen on my computer as well.
As I got up to get my computer, I heard Edward murmur that he was curious where I was going with my line of reasoning. When I got back to my seat on the sofa next to him, I pulled up one of my favorite sets of song lyrics. "O.k., now, I want you both to tell me if this is a poem or a song, and if you can recognize what era it would be from, either way."
As I turned the screen to them, I could tell that Rosalie had already decided it must be song lyrics, since why else would I have seemingly argued in Edward's favor if it wasn't? She was right but I still wanted her to read the words.
There's a moon over Bourbon Street tonight
I see faces as they pass beneath the pale lamplight
I've no choice but to follow that call
The bright lights, the people, and the moon and all
I pray everyday to be strong
For I know what I do must be wrong
Oh you'll never see my shade or hear the sound of my feet
While there's a moon over Bourbon Street
It was many years ago that I became what I am
I was trapped in this life like an innocent lamb
Now I can only show my face at noon
And you'll only see me walking by the light of the moon
The brim of my hat hides the eye of a beast
I've the face of a sinner but the hands of a priest
Oh you'll never see my shade or hear the sound of my feet
While there's a moon over Bourbon Street
She walks everyday through the streets of New Orleans
She's innocent and young from a family of means
I have stood many times outside her window at night
To struggle with my instinct in the pale moon light
How could I be this way when I pray to God above
I must love what I destroy and destroy the thing I love
Oh you'll never see my shade or hear the sound of my feet
While there's a moon over Bourbon Street
She and Edward grew quiet as they read the words. I saw Rose's eyebrows scrunch together ever so slightly as she reached the last few lines. Edward was entranced. I was pretty sure he'd probably never seen someone make Rosalie stop and think so immediately into a discussion. I tried not to get too eager since this could backfire on me at any moment… But I was pretty confident, anyway.
"That's… Very beautiful. I have to admit that I'm not absolutely sure if it's a poem or song lyrics." She sounded more and more thoughtful as she had spoken.
"I think they're song lyrics… But I'm prejudiced. It's beautiful and haunting so it must be a song." Edward grinned at me and also at Rosalie.
"What era do you think it's from?" I looked at Edward as I said this.
"Um, the 1920's?" His brows knit together ever so gently. I stifled a giggle before it could start and turned to Rosalie expectantly.
She was looking at the words across the screen intently, trying to pull more information directly off the screen. "Well, I'm going to guess the late 1800's but I do think I know what the subject matter is, anyway." She looked a little smug at this as she continued. "It's about a vampire, isn't it?"
"Yes. It is. It's song lyrics, also, by Gordon Summoner. However, it isn't more than twenty years old."
I looked at both of them in turn and Emmett chuckled loudly. "She got you both. Cool!"
Rosalie looked at me with a strange expression on her face. "Who in the world is Gordon Summoner? I've never heard of him and these are truly amazing song lyrics…"
"Oh, you've heard of him. He goes by 'Sting' and this was his first solo release after leaving the super successful rock band, The Police. The album was 'Dream of the Blue Turtles' and this is one of my all-time favorite songs by him."
Emmett roared with laughter and Rosalie had a slight smile on her lips. Edward leaned over and gave me a big, wet kiss on my cheek. "You're clever and gorgeous and I love you."
We all laughed together for a few more minutes and then our laughter slowed and we started all talking at once about favorite songs, favorite poets… Edward's decision to take over management of the estate for his family, Rosalie's continued interest in horses, Emmett's business enterprise, which he ran from his family's estate just a few minutes away from the Cullen's estate… We talked for hours.
Mrs. Bailes tea was scrumptious. Rosalie was mindful of their departure time but seemed a little reluctant to go. I could tell Emmett was for sure. He'd really enjoyed the spread we'd had for tea.
As we walked them out Emmett motioned Edward over to him, probably to talk about some cricket team or other, and I followed Rosalie as she slowly walked towards their car.
She turned to me and gave me another small smile. "Please call me Rose. And…" She seemed to become ill at ease. "I'm sorry I was a bit rude to you at first. It's just that… Edward's really important to me and I don't want to see him get hurt, you know?" She looked into my eyes pleadingly and I shook my head at her.
"Don't worry. I totally understand. I don't want anyone to hurt him either. I've taken it on as sort-of my mission in life."
She nodded to me in understanding. She knew that I was planning on taking the reins from her in that respect and she seemed o.k. with that. "I can see how thoroughly and completely in love he is with you, Bella. I've only ever seen this side of him a few times, for probably only a few moments at a time. It's nice to see it on such a consistent basis."
"Thank you. I hope I'm able to make him happy." I sighed a little as I told her this and she got a questioning look on her face, as if she thought I should be worried about my own happiness, too.
I couldn't explain to her that my happiness was intrinsically linked to Edward's and that it would be, as far as I was concerned, for the rest of my life.
~~:::~~