Chapter 28

I woke up the next morning feeling absolutely horrid, not physically though, so it was off to work for me. My eyes pried open and thoughts slowly paced through my head.

I thought off Spot. Spot; that bastard. He had gotten me thinking I was so messed up, and to be honest, I am pretty sure I was. I hated him, I hated him, and right now I hate him more than every.

But I love him; with all my heart too, and I hate that. I tiredly clenched my fists as I angrily pushed myself up on the bed and cracked my back. I grabbed the side of my bunk and dropped my body limply on the floor, my feet clunking hard against the wood.

Spot was still asleep, and looking at him made my harsh expression soften. He was so dreadfully handsome. I growled and quickly turned away from his figure; I hate him.

I decided I was going to jump the shark and take a nice long bath, considering it was so early in the morning and I had buckets off time on my dirty hands.

After undressing and setting up a cold bath, I sucked in a deep breath and plunged my body under the surface. Once I emerged, I relaxed; the cold water felt soothing against my coated skin. I shut my eyes as I lathered my hair with soap and let myself fall into the water.

I could have been wise and used this blissful time to think about my life, and think about how I felt, but I was not a wise girl. I simply let my mind wander aimlessly and allowed myself to wash away with the water.

After about fifteen minutes, I stood up, dripping water from all over. I took my hair in both hands and wrung it out, droplets of water splashing in the tub. I stepped out and grabbed an old, musky towel and dried myself; picking my clothes off the floor, I slide them over my body slowly, dressing myself calmly.

I tipped the bucket over the by the drain and turned back to the mirror and looked at myself; or who I appeared to be. This was me; the girl who allowed herself to fall in love with the most appalling, yet charming boy in city. I was disgusted with myself.

I growled and hurled the old towel at the mirror, stomping out the washroom and trudging down the splintering stairs. I didn't want to wait for anyone to get up, I wanted to leave now, and that's what I would do.

I grunted angrily as I threw the front door open, jumping down the steps and walking down the street. Half way down the block, my feet began to sting and burn. I looked down and rolled my eyes, putting a hand to my forehead; I was barefoot.

How did I not notice this when I left? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I sighed and shut my eyes as I sat on the stoop of an old apartment building. I looked at the bottom of my pained, scratched feet and exhaled as I rested my elbows on my knees and grabbed my hair in hands.

I growled again as I realized I forgot my hat; I nearly freaked out as I then realized I forgot my suspenders as well.

Well, there goes not having to deal with bull crap today.

I pushed myself off the stoop and painfully walked back to the house and up to my room. Boys were up now and I crossed my fingers and hoped to God that Spot would not be awake yet.

I opened the door and was met by a topless Spot. I looked over his perfectly chiseled body and my draw dropped in amazement. He was a god of epic proportions.

He turned his head towards my and flashed my a cocky smirk as he raised his eyebrows.

My insides melted to mush. "Hey dere, look who decided ta showah," he said with an irresistible chuckle.

I pushed away my feelings and rolled my eyes and I walked over to my bed and grabbed clipped on my suspenders.

Spot turned to my as he began to button up his dark blue shirt, "What made ya get up so eoirly tahday? Huh?" He asked, tucking his shirt into his brown pants.

I looked away from him, my jaw clenched as a reached down and grabbed my boots, putting them on and lacing them up.

Spot was pulling up his red suspenders and moved right in front of me now, looking down on me as I avoided eye contact. "The cold shouldah, huh? Ya know, a guy like meself is used ta dis stuff, but I usually desoive it. Last I checked, you and meself was on good terms," he said, as he crouched down and looked me in the eye, leaning in close to and reaching behind me. "Can't you'se just give me da liberty of knowin' what I'se done?" He asked, grabbing his hat and receding away to a standing position.

My nerves were grinding thin and I tried my best to ignore him.

He laughed, "Well, Cross? Can't ya jus tell me? C'mon I know ya want ta," he said in a sing song voice.

I was done, I could not do it. I looked up, my face red and ready to explode. "It's you! Jus' everything about ya makes me sick! I can't stand you and what ya do ta me!" I said, standing and sizing him up.

He put his hands up in surrender, "Whoa, now, Cross. Are ya really gonna make da mistake of threatening me?" He said with a deep growl, grabbing my wrist.

I sighed and put my free hand to my forehead and freed my hand from his, "I don' wanna fight wid ya Spot. I jus', I don' know what's goin on wid me lately. I hate ya, I like ya, I'se is jus messed up!" I said, grabbing my hair and turning my back on Spot.

Spot gave a light chuckle and took in a breath, "Is it somebody's, uh, special time?" He asked.

I gasped and turned around. Without thinking, I slapped him across the face, "What in God's name gives you'se da right ta ask me dat?" I said through gritted teeth.

Spot held a hand to his face and looked back to me; he was clearly not amused. "Ya want ta act dis way? Fine. But ya don' have to act like dat wid me around," he growled, stomping angrily out of the room, slamming the door behind him loudly.

I let out a shaky breath and bit my lip so hard, it could have drawn blood. My lip shook violently and tears threatened to pour over. I gave up and let my disgusting, girlish emotions win this battle and cried as I sat on Spot's bed with my head in my hands.

I am an idiot, not question now. I love Spot so much it was ruining my life. There was only one thing I could do to end the pain.

I was going to tell Spot how I felt.

I was going to tell him I loved him.

End of Chapter!

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