"Gallantry to women - the sure road to their favor -
is nothing but the appearance of extreme devotion to all their wants and wishes,
a delight in their satisfaction, and a confidence in yourself
as being able to contribute toward it."
William Hazlitt

CHAPTER 17: DEVOTION

This was impossible. Ridiculous. Lauren and I hadn't been together in months… I knew she was lying. I just didn't know why.

"You betrayed me with someone else. It's his child, not mine." I gave a dismissive wave of my hand towards her. I felt cold, even hateful. I couldn't help it.

"No. I just haven't had the courage to tell you, since I found out only a few weeks after you'd broken up with me." She was a good actress, I'd always known that. But this… Was different. She was pleading, begging almost, for me to believe her. Something didn't add up. Perhaps there was a way I could get the truth out of her.

"I am the son of a Lord and I have responsibilities, duties. More is expected of me than of most. I cannot take your word for it. I'll take a paternity test." I had crossed my arms across my chest as I'd spoken, making sure there could be no argument on this point.

She looked taken aback. I had changed since she'd spoken to me last. She knew it. And I knew why. I could no longer be manipulated.

Because of the strength that Bella had instilled within me.

Before she could say anything more, I jabbed a finger in her direction. "Understand this, Lauren, I'm engaged to someone. I'm getting married in just a few months and not to you. If I'm the father of your child, I will support the child only. You will not get your hands on my or my family's wealth, do you understand me?"

She blinked. "Who… Who is she?" She was genuinely taken aback.

"She's my soul mate, my better half, and I will not lose her or give her up because of you. She will be the mother of all my other children. Do you hear me? You will never be my wife." I was almost shouting now.

Something snapped in her features, as if someone had removed a mask from her face. "Edward… I had no idea… That's… Well, that's wonderful."

"What?" I was incredulous. She was trying to trick me! That was the only explanation for her words and actions now.

She tentatively stepped towards me and gently touched my arm. I flinched quite dramatically but she wasn't deterred. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean… To hurt you or your fiancé." She was so sincere, her voice was so strong, that I was completely disarmed. What the hell?

Before I could react or respond to her, Alice was grabbing me from behind, trying to turn me to face her. "Edward! Oh, Edward! We've been looking all over for you! Bella's gone!" She was sobbing, waving Bella's engagement ring and, from our secret affair from that morning, her wedding ring in the air.

I thought I might pass out from the shock. But of course I didn't. Instead, I slowly turned to face Lauren. "What… Have… You DONE?" I roared at her.

Suddenly my father was standing next to me with my mother close on his heels. "Edward! James has just told us the most shocking news…" They both saw Lauren standing in front of me, scared out of her wits by this point.

I just didn't know at that moment that she wasn't scared of me, she was terrified of James.

I ran my hands violently through my hair, leaving them on top of my head. "What the hell is going on, Lauren?"

She suddenly looked very small. And I felt… Very strange. Not just from the anger, either. I suddenly had to get away, from the house, from Lauren, from my family.

I heard Alice's small voice to my right. "Edward, Bella left you. She was heading out the back door, I think towards the stables… I didn't realize what was happening until she was already gone… I came to find you right away!"

At that, I started running. Down through the manicured lawns and gardens, past the garages, and out towards the stables. I just kept running…

I've done this before—running after my Bella. I thought pitilessly. I was starting to feel strangely thirsty and a little nauseous at the same time. It was probably just from the erratic emotions that had been flooding my brain over the last half an hour.

As I came through into the stables, I skidded on some hay, reaching out and stopping my forward momentum against the door. Directly in front of my feet were Bella's small carry-on case and her purse.

I felt intense relief. But I also felt confused and agitated, to the point that I held my hand suddenly to my head and shook it slightly, as if to try and shake out the emotions that were coursing through my body now.

She must be here… I was starting to feel disoriented and was having a little trouble swallowing… She HAS to be here! I jerkily headed for Alabaster's stall…

~~:::~~

My eyes came open and after a second of confusion, I realized I was laying against Edward's horse, Ali. I thought I'd heard someone run into the door of the barn.

I tentatively sat up with one of my hands still resting on Ali's neck, to have his stall door fly open and away from me.

Edward was standing in the stall's doorway, panting and licking his lips nervously. "Bella!" He croaked out. He reached for me, yanking me by my arms off of the stall's floor. I had straw all over me and he looked… Terrible. I instantly felt guilty. I had done this to him. But I'd only been trying to make things easier for him… Stupid. Ignorant. I closed my eyes and he was suddenly shaking me, hard.

"Bella, how could you leave me?" He seemed to be having trouble focusing on me, as if his vision was blurred. "You're gone… How will I cope? I can't survive without you…"

Wait… What? I'm standing right here, with you practically ripping my arms out of their sockets… "I'm right here, Edward… I can explain why I left…" He wasn't listening to me.

It was as if I hadn't even spoken.

"How could you do this to me? How will I ever get you back…" A sob escaped from his chest. He dragged me away from the stables and towards the back wall of the barn, almost throwing me against it. I was now truly frightened. Something was horribly, terribly wrong. Edward was acting like he'd completely lost his mind.

He was mumbling almost incoherently but I did catch part of what he was saying as he suddenly grabbed me around the waist. He deftly lifted me up so that he could step into me, pushing my legs apart with one of his knees while holding me against him tightly. "I should have just made love to you when you'd wanted me to…"

He began kissing me roughly, pulling my shirt up with one hand while continuing to hold me against him with his other hand, still pressing me hard against the wall. He gasped and bent down to place his mouth against my now exposed left breast. "I love you… So, so much Bella. Come back to me…" I thought for a split second he was going to bite me he was so rough.

He was acting as if… As if he was on some sort of hallucinogenic drug. I knew he took care of himself—exercised regularly and ate well. He certainly didn't do illegal drugs—no cocaine, no heroin… I didn't think he'd ever even touched pot.

Someone had done something to him. There was no other explanation for what was happening to him.

And me now.

I realized that I had to get his attention, had to make him realize I was real, I wasn't some kind of hallucination. I knew if I said his name, things could suddenly get much worse for me. He would think I was saying his name in passion. I had to stay calm…

"You. Are. Hurting. Me." I didn't shout. I said this with as much force as I could, without yelling at him, saying each word distinctly and clearly, so that he would hopefully hear me.

He slowed but didn't stop his assault on my body.

I tried again. "You are hurting me." I still didn't say his name. I couldn't associate his name with the person that was attacking me now, he was not my Edward.

He stopped grasping at my breast and slid me part way to the floor. I could almost reach it with my toes now.

"You are hurting me!" I hissed.

He dropped me the rest of the way and I fell in a heap to the ground. His knees buckled and he slid to the floor next to me.

"Bella…" He was crying almost uncontrollably now. "My Bella… Come back to me…"

I had to get help. I started to get up off of the floor, pulling my bra and sweater back down and realized that there appeared to be someone standing by the main door of the barn, by my luggage and purse.

The lights that illuminated the main walkway down the middle of the building had automatically come on by this point, and I could see that it was James that was now standing only a few feet from me.

I was about to shout in joy that someone was there to help Edward, when it simply died in my throat. The look on his face could only be described as elation.

"It worked…" He breathed.

My blood ran cold in my veins. James was the one that had done something to Edward. He was the one that had possibly been trying to kill him.

If I'd thought I'd been in danger a few moments ago, that was nothing compared to what was in store for me now.

"In case Edward survives my little addition of Datura Stramonium to his wine tonight," He was smiling at me now. "I'll of course need to dispose of you, since if I don't, he won't ever consider marrying Lauren." He sounded… Apologetic. "Of course, if I just get rid of both you, Lauren will be able to pass off her child as Edward's, and we won't need either of you to take over the estate at that point."

He looked at me with hooded lids. "I'll tell you what, I'll make it look like Edward killed you, then himself, that way we can make it all very tragic… Like Romeo and Juliet. Isn't that sweet?" He looked strangely cheerful.

James was insane. And Edward and I were going to die…

I was no match for him. He was much bigger and stronger than I was.

He was walking over to a cupboard attached to the wall that looked like a large medicine cabinet. "This way, you'll get to be together forever." I felt the air whoosh out of my lungs.

This was not what I'd had in mind when I'd thought of spending an eternity with Edward.

He turned back to me. "Luckily, the Cullen's are very thorough. They keep their own horse tranquilizers handy here at the barn in case a horse gets panicky or hurt." He was speaking to me very conversationally. But I didn't think I was supposed to respond.

"Did you know, that Acepromazine is even deadly to horses if they are given an overdose? Amazing…" I was starting to feel bile come up.

He had removed a large syringe and two small bottles, and had filled the syringe with a clear liquid from both bottles. As he walked towards me nonchalantly, he gave a small push to the plunger to make sure the tranquilizer was ready for immediate injection.

I reached my hand out for Edward and felt the heat emanating from his arm. It felt like he had a fever… I ignored the sensation and grasped him tightly. "I'll love you throughout all eternity, Edward." A small sob escaped my lips after I'd spoken carefully in his direction. I knew he couldn't hear me but it made me feel better that his name and my declaration of my love for him would be the last words spoken from my lips.

I felt like a coward but I couldn't watch as James reached for me to plunge the needle from the syringe into my arm. I turned my head towards Edward's prone body and closed my eyes.

But… It wasn't forced into me. He had been less than a foot from me when I chose to look away and… He hadn't reached me yet? I reopened my eyes in confusion… And beheld the most amazing sight. My ears could now hear the most wonderful sounds also. I had lost all my senses in the few seconds between when I had uttered what had almost been my last words to Edward, and James suddenly being removed from his path of intent to destroy us.

Emmett had crashed into James knocking him sideways to the ground. He was shouting and pummeling James with his fists. "You bastard! You sick son-of-a…"

"Emmett! Stop! If you kill him it will be as if he's gotten away with it! He must be tried and punished by the authorities, not us!" Carlisle cried out in alarm.

Emmett stopped screaming and hitting James. He simply sat on him so he couldn't get away, holding his neck with one of his large hands and holding his legs down with the other.

Carlisle reached me a few seconds later. "Isabella! Are you hurt? He didn't touch you with that syringe, did he?"

"No… No he didn't. But something's horribly wrong with Edward, Carlisle!" I was starting to hyperventilate, when the possibility of Edward being beyond help fluttered through my consciousness. "He… He gave him some kind of plant extract or drug."

Carlisle held my hands in his, forcing me to look up into his eyes. "Tell me his symptoms, Bella." I told him everything I'd witnessed but I did not tell him what Edward had done to me. I knew he had been completely out of his mind, delusional, incoherent. There was no reason for anyone to ever know about that.

Everything started to appear to be happening in slow motion to me. It was taking too long for someone to come and help Edward. It was taking the police too long to come and take James away. It was taking too long for someone to explain to me what had happened with Lauren…

These thoughts had me shaking almost uncontrollably.

Then, things seemed to speed up to a level that I almost couldn't keep up, like a film projector had been put on fast-forward.

The police came, taking statements from everyone present, talking to me first. I have no idea what I said to them. Emmett was getting belligerent and if it hadn't been for Carlisle's diplomacy, Emmett might have been carried off to jail as well as James. Jasper thankfully appeared on the scene and seemed to be able to calm everyone down… Probably due to his experience working with mentally ill patients.

The ambulance came and took Edward and me to the hospital in Chichester. Luckily, the police had managed to get a description out of James as to what he'd put in his wine that evening, so the hospital was ready for Edward when we arrived. Jimsonweed. I found out later that they had to pump his stomach and even administer physostigmine, a drug that was used as a nerve agent and only used in severe cases of poisoning.

I was taken to a different room and examined carefully. There were already bruises forming all over my ribcage and thighs, and the hospital staff assumed it was from James. I knew it was from Edward but I didn't correct them. I didn't say anything, in fact, so I couldn't be accused later of withholding evidence or something. This would forever ONLY be between Edward and myself.

I discreetly discovered from one of the nurses that Jimsonweed was a very strong hallucinatory drug, derived from a plant in the Nightshade family. Symptoms that I had witnessed could last for up to 48 hours and there was no antidote. Edward had been lucky in the extreme.

As I was resting in my hospital bed after his family and Emmett and Rose had left after visiting with me for almost an hour, I frantically called for the nurse. I had remembered Edward's and my promise to each other. To never sleep apart, ever, for any reason.

I threw such a fit that they were forced to put a gurney in his room for me to sleep on. It wasn't comfortable but I didn't care. At least I was sleeping next to my love… And I did sleep, mercifully without dreaming. Probably because of the drugs they had given me to calm me.

As I drifted off, I startlingly felt for the second time that evening that there was no possible way I could feel, if not happier, then at least more grateful, than I did right at that moment.

I would not lose my best friend, my betrothed, my almost-lover.

Not today and hopefully not ever.

~~:::~~

I felt… Groggy. And too hot. My eyes seemed sensitive to the light. I was confused. And then I gasped, sitting straight up in my… Hospital bed? Oh. That's right. James had attempted to poison me.

"Bella…" I didn't even recognize my own voice it was so raspy.

I was abruptly aware of Alice sitting on the end of my bed. "Carlisle took her back home, Edward."

I stared at her for a long time. "But… I thought she'd left me…"

"She had." Alice spoke matter-of-factly. "But you found her in time." She was now smiling broadly at me.

I felt content, almost relaxed. I laid back down in the bed and Alice came up to me to place the covers over my chest. "It's o.k. Edward. She's o.k. and you're o.k. We'll have that wedding yet." She'd left her hand on my chest and I covered hers with one of mine. "Thank you, Ali."

My hand involuntarily tightened over hers. "What the devil happened to Lauren?" My eyes had turned hard.

"Well, I know this will sound like an absolutely insane explanation for her actions towards you, but… Hear me out, o.k.?" She was staring into my eyes pleadingly.

"Fine. I will try." I think I even gave a small huff.

"James will be going away for a very, very long time." She sighed. "Edward, he had threatened his own daughter's life if she didn't comply with his wishes. She's not even pregnant. It was a scheme he came up with to try and get your inheritance from you."

"That's… Just sick." I felt sick.

"Yes. It is. And, apparently, he isn't just into attempted murder. It's been discovered, after the police went to the only property he showed ownership of, that he had murdered Lauren's mother and buried her under the floorboards of the home." We both gave involuntary shudders. "They found that grisly fact out because they used a special scent-detecting police dog at the home to search for evidence of the drug he used on you. Bingo. A trail of blood was found by the animal instead."

"That's…" There were no words. I couldn't have imagined anything more horrible.

"It actually does get worse." She looked at me with the saddest look on her face. "He'd apparently been planning his actions for a long while. After he discovered how easy it was going to be to poison you, he had decided to eventually murder you outright, with or without the inheritance as retribution against our family for his wife attempting to leave him, because he was working so many hours at the estate, and he... Blamed us for that. He blamed us for him killing his own wife." She shook her head and closed her eyes. "As you well know, mum and dad offered to move his wife and Lauren to the estate to live with him, but he'd refused."

When she opened them again to stare into my eyes, we both had tears on our cheeks. But there was nothing to say. What could possibly be said to combat such hatred, such insanity… Such evil?

I gave a shudder and looked back into Alice's eyes. "Where did you find Bella?"

She suddenly grew uncomfortable. "Edward… We didn't find her. Apparently you did but the poison James had given you incapacitated you before you could bring her back to the house." She fidgeted as she had spoken to me. "He apparently had attempted to kill her, but Emmett and dad got to him in time to stop him."

"Oh my God…" I was almost hyperventilating. My hands had gone from holding hers against my chest to become fists and fall rigid at my sides. Some of the monitors in the room started to beep loudly.

"Calm down, Edward!" She hissed at me. "If you want to get out of here today to be with Bella, you'll have to calm down immediately." I tried to force my breathing to become even. I closed my eyes to breathe in through my nose and out my mouth. I forced my hands open, to lay flat on the bed sheets next to me. I calmed myself quickly in that way.

"Good, Edward." She patted my chest. I suddenly felt exhausted. Alice noticed and got up to leave, promising that she would be back by 3:00 p.m.

I became aware of the fact that I had no idea what day it was, let alone what the current time was. "Al, you'll be coming back later than that, won't you? What day is it?" I felt confused and disoriented again.

"It's Tuesday, dear brother." She smiled hesitatingly at me, quickly reaching out and placing her hand on top of my chest again. Even I could tell my eyes had gone wild… But I remembered what she'd said to me just moments before and worked on my breathing again to stay calm.

"Does she… Does she know the details about Lauren?"

Alice paused for only a few seconds but in those few moments, I wondered what she wasn't telling me. "Yes. Carlisle told her this morning."

Something about the way she'd hesitated… Made me turn inward and realize that I was feeling as if there'd been a small barrier placed in my brain. I seemed unable to breach it to remember the events of the previous two days. Then… Memories began to flood my mind.

Absently drinking the glass of wine James had given me. Wondering over to the piano, thinking over the new composition I was arranging for our wedding reception. Getting a glimpse of Lauren through the French doors of the ballroom. What she'd told me… Finding out that Bella had heard us. Running… Finding Bella at the stables…

No amount of control over my breathing was going to stop the sobs that wracked my body at that moment. The exquisitely tortuous feeling of my chest being ripped open and my heart being forcibly removed.

I remembered everything I'd done to her. Every pull, every push. The way I'd shoved her into the wall… The way I'd… Assaulted her. I'd… I'd almost raped her. My own wife… My love… My life.

Through my sobs, I asked Alice what to me was the simplest of questions. "Alice, how could she ever forgive me?"

Alice was at a complete loss. "Edward, there was nothing to forgive you for… She left you because she thought you'd want to do the noble thing and marry Lauren if she was pregnant with your child. She stupidly didn't think she should stop you from doing what she deemed to be the 'right' thing."

Alice wasn't answering my question to the correct set of circumstances.

She started to sound slightly panicky. "Edward, she hasn't left this room for almost two days. She's been sleeping right next to you almost the entire time you've been in this room." She paused as if to gauge my reaction. She didn't understand… She had no idea what I'd done… To my own wife.

Her voice grew sharp, since my breathing hadn't steadied and my sobs had not subsided. "Edward, she felt that she'd abandoned you when she'd overheard what Lauren had told you. She was so distraught that finally, this morning, after we explained what had actually happened with Lauren, she suffered a breakdown from mental exhaustion."

The machines in the room were beeping crazily and it wasn't long before a nurse came in to sedate me.

How would she ever find it in her heart to forgive me? Mercifully, I quickly sank into a dreamless sleep. But… I knew it wasn't right that I should be able to do so. I should suffer. Suffer horribly for what I'd done. To my sweet, precious love. My Bella…

~~:::~~

Alice had been right. They released me that day and she came to take me home at around 5:00 p.m.

The pain killers and other drugs the hospital had given me were still fairly strong in my system. I only had vague impressions of getting into hers and Jasper's car, getting to the manor house, and being put into my bed… Overall, everything seemed fuzzy and vague to me, I couldn't even remember a lot of the conversation that I'd apparently had with Alice just hours before.

I couldn't understand why I hadn't seen Bella…

Something was nagging at me, things I didn't really want to remember but was sure were critical items for me to recall. However, because of the drugs, I fell asleep as soon as I had laid down in our bed.

Some time later, I awoke suddenly. I realized quickly that I was back at home, in my own room, and I was not at the hospital any more. I was apparently finally a little more aware of myself and my surroundings.

My skin prickled slightly. I didn't feel alone in the room... I automatically assumed it was Alice that had come to check on me, so I sat up groggily.

However, I didn't see anyone standing in the room. It was very quiet and it was dark outside. The room had an unexpected glow from a fire someone had lit for me. I glanced over to my bedside table to see that the time was just after 3:00 a.m. I gently rubbed my eyes and then dropped my hands into my lap.

I gradually became aware that I wasn't in the middle of the bed. I anxiously looked over to my right to see... Bella, lying next to me, dressed in… Well...

She was wearing hardly anything at all. My eyes grew wide.

She had a royal blue slip on with spaghetti straps, which had both fallen down from her shoulders… I could easily see her tantalizing breasts. The hem of her slip had slid up almost to her hips. I could just see her black, lace panties... She was gorgeous, beautiful, and enchanting. She held a tender look on her face, as if she were peacefully dreaming.

I leaned over, drawn to her like a moth to a flame, wanting only to kiss her forehead, her closed eyes, her lips… As I leaned in, I felt something swing from my neck and realized I had a silver chain on with something hanging from it. I leaned back away from her to hold my wedding ring up to the light of the fireplace.

And then I remembered what I'd done.

I gripped the ring so tightly in my fist, I almost broke the chain.

I felt the air escape my lungs and I couldn't seem to get any back in. I realized I was beginning to panic when I felt warm, soft hands on either side of my face.

She forced me to look into her eyes. "Stop it. I'm here. I will never, never ever leave you again." It was her turn to begin to cry and try to hold back her sobs. "I'm so sorry, Edward…"

I felt confused, shocked, so stunned that I dropped my ring back to my chest. "Bella…" I began to choke on the emotions coursing through me. I reached for her, running my hands over her face, her shoulders, up and down her arms… But I didn't touch her intimately. I was afraid, terrified she would remember what I had done to her.

She could tell I was holding back. "My beloved… What's wrong?" She was worried about me. I felt more confused.

"How can you forgive me for what I did to you?"

She looked confused now. "Edward, how could I be mad at you for what Lauren's father tried to do? It wasn't even Lauren's fault and it certainly isn't yours! I don't understand why you're so upset, my sweet, sweet man."

She didn't remember. I felt elated but guilty at the same time. Before I had decided whether to say anything or not, my mouth opened of its own accord. "I… I hurt you Bella. At the stables…"

She looked surprised, and then… I couldn't read her. I don't know if it was because I was so scared or what but I just couldn't figure out the look that had flitted across her face.

Her hands were frozen in midair by my head and she leaned away from me slightly. "You… You remember what happened." She'd whispered it and she wasn't asking me, she was making a statement. I could not for the life of me figure out what she was thinking.

"Please, please tell me what's going through your head right now." I reached for her, touching her shoulders lightly and my touch was enough.

She looked up into my eyes with a tortured expression, and whispered her reply to me. I could barely hear her. "You… You weren't supposed to remember that. They told me that you'd probably never remember the events of that night." She tentatively reached back up to touch her fingertips to my eyebrows, around to my cheekbones, to rest on my lips.

Her voice was now stronger. "Edward, it wasn't you. Please don't worry. I know you want me to forgive you but there's nothing to forgive you for. You weren't… You." She smiled reassuringly at me and I felt my eyebrows pull together. Before I could say anything, she spoke again, sounding more desperate this time to convey how she was truly feeling.

"Edward, you were poisoned. It was a hallucinatory drug he gave you. You were delusional, incoherent. You thought I wasn't even really there with you…" Her eyes closed slowly and I saw the tears leak from behind her lids, to slide slowly down her cheeks.

She repositioned herself so that she could place her hands to the back of my neck and gently began to pull her fingers through my hair. "Please, Edward… Don't be upset for what happened. I know you love me more than anything else in this world." Her eyes suddenly opened, she was only inches from my face and her eyes blazed like fire. "I love you more than my own life!" Her lips crashed into mine.

She was hungry for me.

As I was for her.

Our hands were all over each other's bodies and I heard her suddenly gasp, calling out my name in passion. I was completely undone. I had to have her. She rolled over on her back with me slightly hovering over her. We both stopped unexpectedly at the same time, with our breathing too loud, to stare into each other's eyes.

"I love you, Isabella. You are mine. Forever." I had planned on bending my head down to kiss her as passionately as I possibly could, when she placed her hands on my chest.

"Edward, there's something we need to do first." She was still a little out of breath from our shared passion. She quickly reached up to my neck and moved the chain around until she found the clasp. She undid it and removed it from me, sliding my wedding ring from it and turning her head, reaching her arm back to place the chain on her bedside table.

Her face came back to mine and she stared into my eyes, seeming to get lost in them, as she tentatively reached for my left hand. I moved my hand to hers and smiled as she placed the band on my ring finger.

"I will never remove it. Never." I held myself up with one arm and without taking my eyes away from hers, I slowly moved my left hand to her hip, to drag my fingers up and under the edge of her slip along her ribs, reaching for her breasts.

Unfortunately, I looked away from her eyes... And saw the marks on her side, that matched my hand all too perfectly.

I had actually bruised her beautiful body with the violence of my attack against her.

All the passion I was feeling at that moment, all the desire and longing, simply vanished.

I fell back to the bed and practically sobbed. "I'm sorry Bella… I can't…" I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes, as if that would stop the vile, violent images from flipping through my head of what I had done to my love.

~~:::~~

I realized quickly that I was pushing him too hard. He had only been home from the hospital for less than twelve hours. And here I was, acting like a sex addict again. I sighed quietly.

I knew what he'd seen.

The bruises on my rib cage.

The bruises that would correspond with his hand and fingers. It didn't hurt, they were only bruises. I had been frightened of his actions but he hadn't really hurt me. Nothing like what it could have been if I hadn't realized there was something wrong and hadn't been able to stop him.

But I had no idea what he saw in his mind as he remembered that night.

I needed to be a loving, understanding, and supportive wife and partner to him. We would have the rest of our lives to make love daily, hourly, if we wanted to.

I stretched my body out next to his, placing my right arm across his chest and my right leg over his legs, wrapping around him. I whispered into his ear, "I will always love you, Edward. Always. I know you think that you hurt me but your memory is skewed, inaccurate. We will be together forever, so I will not push you into anything physical with me if you're not ready. I'm here for you. Always… Always…" I rubbed my nose against the part of his jaw right below his ear, giving him small kisses along it. I breathed his scent in deeply, smiling gently against his shoulder.

He gave a shuddering breath and placed his arms around me to squeeze me carefully but tightly into his side. His lips were in my hair, I could hear him slowly breathing in my scent, "I don't deserve you. But I will do everything in my power to do so, to be the husband you need and want." He let out a small sigh. "I love you more than my own life, Bella."

We laid like that, wrapped in each other's arms, until we both fell back asleep.

~~:::~~