"There are exactly as many special occasions in life
as we choose to celebrate."
Robert Brault

CHAPTER 18: FULFILLMENT

We both awoke to light streaming through our bedroom window. I was still next to him but not quite as intertwined. I noticed that he was apparently more awake than I was, because he was watching me intently. I smiled brightly at him. "Hey sexy."

He chuckled lightly, shaking his head at me. "You're extraordinary, you know that, right?" He reached over hesitantly, running one of his fingers across my cheek, to stop at my lips. His eyes altered and I could see the want and devotion deep within them. His hand curved around my face, to gently hold me in place while he leaned over to kiss me lightly. "I love you, Bella. Never doubt that."

"I would never doubt your love for me." I felt my eyes sharpen and he shook his head again.

"You were talking in your sleep last night. You sounded frightened." I started to protest, thinking he was bringing up what had happened between us Saturday night. He kissed me again to still me. "It wasn't about the other night. You were afraid I wasn't going to ever make love to you." He looked concernedly at me.

I gasped and turned away from him. I was embarrassed to the ninth degree. I felt the heat emanating from my own face and tried to cover it with my hands.

He carefully pulled my hands down from my face, searching for any hint of anger or fear. There was none, of course. He then held his left hand up in front of my eyes, his palm away from me. "Do you see this, my love? It's my wedding band. It means that I belong to you for eternity. That's why we wear rings, you know. Because they are in the shape of eternity—a circular band that has no beginning and no end, emphasizing the absolute and unending power of love."

He took my left hand and picked it up, to stare at my wedding ring. "See? Forever." His eyes came back to mine and I felt time stretch out, as if we were experiencing a small taste of eternity.

He blinked and the moment drifted away…

"Um, I'll be right back." He swiftly got up, reaching for his cell phone from his bedside table and headed for the door, selecting a number as he went. As he reached his hand out to take the doorknob, he turned and winked at me with a huge, silly grin on his face. "Alice, hi…"

I was unbelievably confused and curious about this turn of events. He was only gone for about five minutes however and when he returned, he locked our bedroom door after himself.

Walking slowly back towards me, he turned off his phone and tossed it onto one of the chairs by the fireplace. I noticed his look had altered, he seemed… Very relaxed. Continuing his stroll back towards our bed, he unbuttoned his pajama top, taking it off and unceremoniously dropped it to the floor.

I felt the surprise color my face as I stared at his contoured chest. He was lean but muscular, with a very chiseled 'V' heading towards his nether regions, below his bellybutton. Even though I had seen him without his shirt on before, I'd never studied him as intently as I was now. I felt myself flush and sat up nervously.

He reached the bed and slowed down. Never taking his eyes off of me, looking at me very, very seductively, he bent down and placed his hands on the bed, then his knees, and sensuously moved towards me. He moved like a jaguar or a cougar. It was fascinating to watch him.

I tilted my head to the side and licked my lips. He smiled, wide and cheerfully, and then his smile turned into my favorite crooked grin, and then into something else…

Hunger. Desire. Longing. I felt my breath hitch…

He whispered to me, "We will not be disturbed, my precious Bella." As he reached me, he sat back on his legs, placing his hands on his knees and gazed down at me. I felt my head tilt back up straight and I started to get a little bit nervous. Was I supposed to do something now?

He gave a small laugh. "My love, I told you I was going to make it so wonderful that you would never want anyone but me to ever touch you again, remember?" I slowly nodded my head. "Well, that time is now. And I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do, so you don't continue to look at me like a deer that's been caught in someone's headlamps." As he'd finished speaking, he gave me a silly grin.

I laughed then. It sounded like bells to me. I was so happy. Not because he was about to fulfill his promise to me—though I was very excited about that fact—it was actually because we had been through so much in such a short period of time, so much pain and heartache, so much love and devotion shown by both of us to the other… But we could still laugh at ourselves.

He started to laugh along with me and then we both slowly stopped our laughter, taking each other's measure, taking stock of how much we wanted each other. "I don't think I want you to explain it, Edward. Please just… Be with me." I was going to do whatever it took to not take my eyes away from his.

He gave me a seductive smile, nodded his head and leaned forward towards me, moving his hands from his knees to place them on each of my shoulders, gently pushing me back into the pillows. I obediently followed his lead, and relaxed into them.

While leaving his right hand on my left shoulder, he then very lightly and very, very slowly traced the fingers of his left hand across my forehead, over my eyebrows and eyelids, down my nose… He took his right hand off of my shoulder and then continued to lightly trace my features with his fingertips—my cheekbones, my chin, along my jaw—moving my hair slightly to run his fingers around my ears.

He carefully shifted his weight so he wouldn't become uncomfortable from maintaining the same position... After getting repositioned, and still using his feather-light touch, he ran his fingers down each side of my throat, stopping at the base of my neck. Turning his fingers and hands away from each other, so that his thumbs were tracing along my collarbones, he traced them out to my shoulders. He then trailed down the outside of my arms all the way out to each fingertip, tracing back along the inside of each arm… Still so, so slowly…

He moved his eyes from mine, to watch his own hands tracing over my skin. He moved his fingers down my sides and, for the first time, I squirmed at his touch, trying not to giggle.

"Ticklish, love?" He looked back up into my eyes and gave me a small grin. He didn't torture me with tickling, however… As his eyes and smile went back to a look of deep concentration, he went back to staring at his hands moving over my body, and kept moving his hands down my sides to reach the bottom of my slip.

My breathing hitched again as he looked up into my eyes, with need and desire held in their beautiful green depths. He gradually lifted my slip and when he had exposed my breasts, his breathing caught in his throat as well as mine. I sat up slightly so he could remove it from me more easily and he went back to tracing my features, starting at my bellybutton, moving up along my ribs, to stop before he reached my chest.

He bent his face low, tenderly kissing the faded bruises on my ribcage. He was speaking so low I could just barely hear what he was saying as he kissed each one. "I'm sorry…"

He wasn't telling me he was sorry, he knew there would be no point to that since I would have only gotten upset with him. He was apologizing to my body.

I knew he needed to do this, to get over what he perceived as his assault on me. I knew he wasn't himself when these bruises had occurred but he needed to make it better, in whatever way he could. It was so tender and, strangely, extremely erotic.

As he reached my breasts, he stopped kissing my body and went back to tracing my skin with his fingers. "I love you, Bella."

I thought I was going to explode with longing.

How could he touch me so tenderly? How could he not want to kiss me there? I started to put my hands in his hair, to pull him back to my breasts but he stopped me. He pulled my hands from around his neck and placed them on the covers by my sides. He was shaking his head. "I have to do this my way, Bella. Please, be patient. I will make it all worth it, I promise you."

A tiny moan escaped my lips and his eyes met mine. I was holding my lower lip between my teeth and he smiled soothingly at me. "I promise." He mouthed to me.

I couldn't watch him anymore and closed my eyes. It was already too much. I gave a ragged sigh as he continued to run his fingers along my skin, back to my sides, around my waist to my hips, tracing the outside of my legs, my thighs, my calves, my feet… He went back up on the inside of my legs, and as he reached my inner thighs, I accidentally let out another moan.

This one not so tiny.

His fingers left my body and I felt my eyelids tightly scrunch closed. I felt myself yearning for him, for his touch. For him to touch me in the most intimate ways possible. I'd rather he tickle-tortured me than this...

But then suddenly his lips were lightly dragged across my forehead, my eyelids, my nose, cheekbones… Along my jaw… He even kissed each of my ears... Down each side of my throat, along my collarbones… He continued to kiss me, licking me slightly with his tongue every so often, in the exact same pattern along my body as he had with his fingers.

When he reached my inner thighs, kissing each in turn, I felt myself open more to him, moving my legs to make room for him and I whimpered. "Please, Edward, I can't take much more…"

I had reached down to touch the hair on the top of his head and had, I thought, only slightly tugged on some of it. He gave a grunt and I realized it must not have been so slight. I started to whimper. "Please Edward…"

He came up from my thighs and with one hand on my hip, he cupped my face with the other. "Shhh, my sweet Bella. I love you. You know that." I nodded and closed my eyes again, feeling the tears squeeze out from between my lids. "I'm not trying to torture you." I could hear the proud smile on his lips, the happiness in his voice.

He was succeeding in making it memorable. He was becoming a little too successful. At this rate, I wasn't going to make it to anything else without having a heart attack. I told him as much. "Shhh…" He was trying to sooth me but his quiet laughter was a little more obvious now.

I squeezed harder on my eyelids and he was suddenly kissing me fervently. Thank God! I had honestly believed, for just a moment, that I would spontaneously combust from his ministrations. My eyes opened to see his closed, kissing me as passionately as he could manage. The hand that had been at my left hip was now at my chin. My arms and hands had automatically gone around his neck and I was kissing him back just as passionately.

I felt the hand that had been caressing the other side of my face move down my side to stop at my right hip. As he continued to kiss me, he added his tongue into the mix. The hand that had been cupped at my chin now moved around to the back of my neck and he braided his fingers through my hair. I felt the fingers of the hand at my hip begin to press against my skin there, so that he could get underneath the elastic of my panties. He slowly started moving them off of my body and I was sure I was going to pass out from the incredibly deep ache I was feeling for him. I squirmed again but this time to wiggle out of my panties. His hand brushed low across my stomach and we both moaned.

He stopped kissing me long enough to take his pajama bottoms off and I could now see his own intense want for me. I had of course felt his manhood pressed against me on several occasions before, but I had never actually seen him completely naked. Glorious was the word that came to mind at finally seeing him in all his lithe, sensuous maleness. To be completely honest, I was a bit taken aback.

A look of shock must have crossed my face and it didn't go unnoticed. The hand that had been on my hip went to my face, "What is it, my love?"

Well, this was going to be embarrassing as all hell. "You're… Rather well endowed, Edward." I smiled sheepishly up at him. The look of shock that I had just felt across my own face was now evident in his. "Oh, O.k. Is… Is that a good thing for you?" He sounded confused.

I answered him by sitting up from the bed with one of my hands on his chest and the other on his face. I tried to look into his eyes as deeply as I could, to convey how very, very good that was. Instead of saying anything, I leaned forward and kissed him at the hallow at the base of his neck, along his throat to his chest, licking and kissing my way back up between his pectorals. It was his turn to moan.

I reached down with one hand and touched him softly, barely holding him in my hand, keeping my eyes on his. He sucked in a loud breath and his eyes grew wide. "Bella…" I let go to stop teasing him and reached up to put both my arms around his neck, sitting up on my knees to press my body against his chest, slightly spreading my legs so I could straddle one of his thighs looking slightly down at him as I did so. He automatically wrapped his arms around my body, looking up into my eyes as intently as he could manage.

"I want you to make passionate love to me, Edward Anthony Masen-Cullen, before I can't stop myself and I just make love to you, myself."

That was all it took.

~~:::~~

Well, I'd apparently done my job correctly. I'd never imagined hearing anyone say my name quite like that. Bella was almost hoarse from… Well, not to put too fine a point on it, yelling my name. Loudly.

I was rather proud of myself.

Neither of us would ever forget that day. Or that night. And, it was… Exquisite. We couldn't get enough of each other. She even did this one thing with her tongue… God. She was incredible. And she was mine. MY wife. Forever.

~~:::~~

Edward was… Beautiful. I was very glad we'd waited. He kept every promise he'd ever made to me… Plus some he hadn't voiced but had decided to simply show me, with the things that he did… My God he was… Amazing. Breathtaking. So, so passionate.

He had been absolutely correct. In no way, not even in my wildest imaginings, would I ever in a million years want anyone but him touching me ever again.

For the next week, we managed to be polite in public but we were completely unable to not be touching each other in some way, all the time. And the evenings were pure ecstasy. Even some mornings… And a couple of the afternoons.

I got a lopsided grin on my face and sighed. He was the most tender, loving and caring man I'd ever met. It would be so easy to love him forever. It would probably take me that long to show him how much I appreciated him. How much I was thankful that he was mine. MY husband… Forever.

~~:::~~

In between our bouts of love making we would take time to talk. To discuss our trip back to his grandmother's for a few days, to go to San Francisco to work on getting my things moved to England and him meeting my friends and co-workers, and to take a trip to Forks, Washington to meet my dad.

I'd called Charlie a few days after Edward had recovered from his poisoning. There was an eight hour time difference, so calling him at 6:00 a.m. our time was about 10:00 p.m. Washington State time.

I called to explain how I'd met the man of my dreams. The man that I would be 'officially' marrying in a small ceremony in Connecticut in less than two months. He was quiet and then… He asked me if Edward would be able to properly take care of me, what he did for a living, what his parents were like.

I told him everything. He finally sounded happy for me. Esme had taken a few pictures of us at the party, when we'd visited with the grandchildren, and at the park by their house. I emailed them to my dad as we talked. As he looked at our pictures, I thought I heard my dad choke a little bit, and then, he spoke.

"Bella, you two are really… In love, aren't you?" He sounded amazed.

"Yes, dad, we really are. And I honestly can't imagine how I could ever have found someone as sincere, kind or loving as Edward. But… I did." I knew that he could hear the contentment and surety of my words in my voice.

"I sure love you Bells. I'm happy for you." He sounded like he really meant it. But, I think he was also a little confused… I just didn't pick up on that at the time.

I smiled. "Dad, you know that I'll want you to give me away, right?" I'd asked very tentatively. Since Jacob and I had eloped, he'd never had that opportunity. I wanted him to be part of this ceremony, even if he wasn't part of the one with Jake or aware that I was already sort-of married to Edward. I figured I'd let that one go unsaid… It was just too difficult to explain.

Charlie told me that he would be honored and proud to walk me down the aisle. I informed him that Edward was going to be taking care of the flight arrangements and that he didn't need to worry about it. He only needed to worry about getting the time off from work. He grumpily agreed.

By this point Edward was in our room with me, holding my hand and staring at me lovingly. When I smiled, he grinned roguishly at me.

After I'd hung up with my dad, after getting things settled as to when we'd be in town to see him exactly, I looked at Edward questioningly. As he played with my fingers he beamed at me. "You're so wonderful. But… Don't you need to take another shower… Or something…?"

He had a very seductive look in his eyes but I just laughed at him. "No, I do not, you pervert." He looked hurt.

"I am not a pervert. I just really love my wife, that's all. And want to love her some more…" He leaned towards me to kiss me on the chin, beginning to trail down my neck with his increasingly tender kisses. He had started to move towards me to bring his arms around my shoulders to drag me closer to him, when I lightly jumped off of the bed.

"Nope! We've got things to do, places to go, people to see… Come on."

He actually pouted at me. "No. I don't want to."

I stared at him. Then I placed my hands on my hips. "Let's go, oh mighty Lord of the manor house. Before I have to drag you off to work." I narrowed my eyes at him.

He covered his face below his eyes with one hand to hide his laughter. It didn't work. "Good lord. You're a bossy wife…"

"Yeah and you love it. Let's go, lover boy." I ignored his laughter and started walking towards our bedroom door to head down to the kitchen for breakfast.

"Fine. Be that way. But I'll get you in my clutches later… Just you wait…" He sounded just like a petulant boy.

It was my turn to laugh. "Edward!" I said his name exasperatedly.

He was already following behind me however, and he looked hungry for more than just me, finally. "I guess we do need to eat every once in a while…"

"Um, yeah, before Mrs. Bailes comes up here and force-feeds us!" We both looked at each other and began laughing loudly.

We walked hand-in-hand to the kitchen and I explained what my plans were for the day. I was going to work on how I was going to change the guest room into my office. He nodded his head in agreement at several of my ideas and then told me that he had to head out to the back fields to check on the now finished sheep pens.

Things had gotten a lot busier for him around the estate since he obviously didn't have James' help. Several of the older staff came to us a day or so before to tell us how happy they were that James was finally gone. He'd never done anything untoward exactly against any of them but they just knew, as the years wore on, that something was very wrong with him.

Two of the younger boys, well, they weren't much younger than Edward, but still… They offered to work with him and help him with different aspects of the estate's management. One, Thomas, would be responsible for keeping Edward well informed about the livestock, and the other, Joseph, would help with the harvests of wheat and other livestock grains.

I was so proud of Edward. He was truly in his element. I couldn't imagine why anyone would rather live in London but I kept that to myself. I knew how happy Alice and Jasper and his parents were to live there.

I was just different. I was like Edward. I enjoyed the clean smells, the natural growth happening all around us, the liveliness of the animals, the beauty… It was very invigorating. It was also like living in a Jane Austen novel, I thought ruefully.

After breakfast we sadly went our separate ways. It was becoming a little silly, really. But we deeply, truly loved each other. It was hard to be apart for so many hours… But he had duties and I had things I needed to do alone, without him. I enjoyed the time I had to myself but I did miss him, too.

My mind wondered to thinking about our conversation from a week ago, about children. I really did want to have them—His children.

Thoughts suddenly came swirling into my head… I'd been on the pill for many years after Jacob had passed away, mainly due to issues I'd always had with female stuff.

I started wondering if I shouldn't just stop taking it sooner rather than later. As I mulled over the idea of having children before too long with Edward, I recognized that I would need to talk to him. As I tentatively decided this, I pushed it to the back of my mind since for the moment, I needed to work on how I was going to set up my own space at the Cullen estate before I could start planning a space for children.

I sat in the middle of the big four poster bed in the guest room that would soon be my office with a pad of paper and a newly sharpened pencil, and got to work on planning it. I really didn't want to change much so I drew out what I was pondering.

I would leave the bed, the two bedside tables, and the armoire. I would remove the small tables and couch. I was planning on finding a rather large desk that would match the other furniture in the room. I thought I'd turn it to face the fireplace and the door, ending up with my back to the window. I wanted to use one of the large arm chairs as my desk chair and the other as a guest chair. On the wall opposite the bed to the right of my desk, I planned on having the entire wall taken up with bookshelves.

I laid back on the bed with my head on my hand, facing towards the window and staring out at the front gardens. It was so beautiful here. My thoughts turned to Edward... He was so beautiful. Inside and out. I wanted to do something special for him but I wasn't sure exactly what…

Then I formed a plan based on our actions—or to be more precise, the lack of action from that morning. I could even roll my discussion regarding children into the evening's 'festivities.' Clever girl. I smiled to myself.

~~:::~~