Okay so this is the chapter before really, it's quite important a lot of things are brought to light and next chapter a lot of things explode

Thank you kingxleon21, hartful13, and my lovely reviewers! Sorry this chapter was late. I'm try to get another one out before Christmas break, but I work a lot this week so it might be a couple of days late.

Chapter title comes from Northern Downpour by Panic! At The Disco

She should hate him, because even though Carly Shay does not hate, she has always found a cold place in her heart for Nevel Papperman. She hated him before, but now, after he destroyed everything they worked so hard to help him gain, she couldn't hate him. Even though he took his anger out on some poor, innocent, African American man in a wheelchair, who even offered to buy him a smoothie after bumping into him. But the cold place was gone, she sourly noted, and instead of anger, she was left with hurt.

Carly let herself be pulled to the couch by Sam, still a little numb after witnessing the video. Her friends didn't understand why Carly was acting odd, but Sam put on Girly Cow and Freddie watched in concern.

She didn't know why Nevel destroying himself, again, hurt her so badly either. Part of her was caring too much about Nevel, and another part was hurt that he'd turn around and wreck what they'd help him build. She felt so used, and naïve. While he'd been having another temper tantrum Carly was thinking about how; maybe they could be friends with Nevel, and he could continue to be this better person she liked a lot more. Settling into her couch, Carly flashed back to yesterday, when Nevel had been sitting there, and she had started to believe he wasn't all bad.

"Over 800,000 views," Sam pointed out.

"But over 96% of the comments are negative," added Freddie dejectedly.

Sam gestured to the screen. "Look at that one."

Carly read it aloud, "'Stupid video. Nevel's still the worst person alive.'".

Nevel groaned in agony on the couch, repeating the sound when Carly and Sam read two more of the vicious comments.

Ignoring Spencer and his counting of screws that only momentarily distracted them, Nevel despaired "Everyone still hates me."

"Guess our video just made people think Nevel was trying to do damage control," Carly added. She for one really believed that Nevel had potential. There was good in everyone, and she just knew that Nevel was a nice person deep down.

Spencer offered his advice, but the iCarly crew wisely ignored it, causing Spencer to start pouting to himself. Back on the couch, Nevel started to complain of the spins and Carly came to talk to him. She pulled her knees up on the couch, sitting closer than she normally would. With this new Nevel, she was more trusting.

"It's going to be okay," she said reasonably.

"No it's not!" Nevel said in anguish, pushing the laptop closed, "No one's ever going to believe that I truly feel bad about what I did."

Carly felt her heart go out to the poor boy. "I bet people will believe you if you tell them that."

That's when everything changed. Nevel looked up from his laptop and right at her. His look was a million things; awe, hope, regret, hurt, worry, and innocence. There was something beautiful in those broken brown eyes, and Carly let herself get locked in them.

The moment was cut short by Spencer rubbing butter on his face, and Carly broke away from the hold.

Happy images flashed on the T.V., while dark ones flashed in Carly's mind. She'd though Nevel's apology on their show was genuine, and it had truly touched her at the time.

"Good evening. My name is Nevel Amadeus Papperman. I stand before you to sincerely apologize for the inexcusable…" It had started off just so… Nevel; the careful, well spoken boy that restrained from human emotions. "In…inexcusable…" But then the real Nevel broke free.

"I hate the way I yelled at that little girl. I don't know why I acted like that." His voice was so sincere, so regretful that Carly felt her casual façade melting. "But I know it was really, really wrong. I apologize. And…I just wish I could apologize to that little girl."

Oh praise Sam's spy skills and Freddie's hacking skills that had led them to that little girl. Carly spoke off camera to Nevel, anticipating that she was about to witness something beautiful. She cued the little girl, named Molly.

It was beautiful. In that couple of minutes she had never seen someone act to honestly. Nevel crumbled, and all that remained was a beautiful boy, a beautiful little girl, and a beautiful moment that left Carly nearly crying in Sam's arms. She'd never witnessed such a transformation, and it made her want to throw her arms around Nevel and hug him as tightly as possible.

Now, it was clear that she was an idiot. She'd been so completely moved by Nevel's stupid performance, when it was all just an act. Nevel hadn't changed, Nevel wasn't different. He still went around screaming at innocent people and being a complete hobknocker!

"Hey, Carls? I'm gonna go grab the fried chicken I left upstairs, alright?"

"Okay." Carly put on a fake smile for her friend. Sam returned it with a small one and hurried upstairs. It was then Carly noticed she was alone. Freddie must have left without her noticing.

Carly returned her attention to the T.V. for all of three seconds before there was a knock at the door. Assuming it was Freddie she called "It's open!"

The door was timidly pushed open to reveal a disheveled Nevel Papperman.

"What do you want?" Carly asked icily.

"I am a complete idiot," Nevel whispered softly.

"I agree completely. Now please leave." Carly got off the couch and marched up to Nevel. "iCarly is done with you."

Nevel looked up, his brown eyes burning fiercely on his sorrowful face. "But you're not."

Carly recoiled slightly. "Yes I am!" she countered hopelessly. They both knew he was right. She still knew there was a good side to Nevel, and she wanted to find it.

Carly looked over her shoulder at the stairs. "Can we talk?" asked Nevel brokenly.

She deliberated for a moment. "Fine, come this way." Carly started walking towards the back door of the apartment, Nevel hot on her heels. There she quietly opened the door, then slipped away with Nevel.

Sam knew her best friend was too nice for her own good. Nevel's entire pity party had been nothing but a show to play with Carly's emotions. After the trio saw the video of him screaming at the man in the wheelchair Carly looked significantly depressed. Sam didn't try to understand it, just offered her Peppy Cola and pulled her onto the couch to watch Girly Cow. Freddie left soon after.

On the bright side, she wasn't having anymore stupid, nubby thoughts about him. The dork had been so annoying that day, from squealing about girls finally noticing he existed, to trying his vampire voice on her and Carly like he was still expecting Carly to realize her love for him and collapse in his arms. On top of that, he had the nerve to date one of the skanks, completely oblivious to the fact they only liked him because of the stupid voice and would dump his sorry butt when they found out how much of a dork he really was.

Which was, exactly, why Sam was not pleased to have Freddie sitting across from her with a mopey expression, looking sadly into space. He was the perfect person to play a vampire, seeing how dramatic he was.

"So…" Sam trailed off awkwardly, unsure of why Freddie had barged into Carly's apartment when he was still supposed to be on a date with a vampire bewitched slut.

"I got dumped," Freddie slunk further into the chair, "For Gibby."

Sam winced. "Ouch…"

This was what Carly was for, but Sam had gone upstairs for three freaking seconds, then came back to find a text on her phone from Carly that said "Brb" and a pouty vampire wannabe in her place. Not a good trade; not at all.

"Why don't girls ever want me?" Freddie's voice was getting seriously annoying and Sam rolled her eyes at the kid. He caught the motion and snapped.

"I'm serious Sam! That girl only went on a date with me because of my stupid vampire voice! I'm completely unattractive to the female population!" He'd risen forward in his rant and now flopped back dejectedly.

"Maybe you could try the male population." Sam half joked, earning a sharp glare from Freddie. Personally, she found it a pretty amusing joke.

Freddie pushed himself up from the chair. "Obviously I shouldn't have bothered coming. Thanks a lot Sam." He started for the door.

"Wait, Fredward don't get your panties in a twist." Sam attempted to lure him back to the chair. Freddie turned around with an expectant look on his face.

"Sit down, my boy," Sam said in one of her weird accents, motioning towards the chair. Freddie sighed, but did as he was told.

"Okay, here's the thing," Sam positioned herself so she was directly facing Freddie, "Girls don't want to date you, because you can be a whiney little brat."

"Hey!" Freddie protested, his voice going high and defensive.

Sam shrugged. "It's true. But," she took a deep breath, "You're a good guy Freddie, and you'll find someone you really like, who really likes you too, and not because of some stupid vampire voice." Sam leaned back in the couch, quite pleased with herself.

Freddie's face melted into one of his great smiles. "Thanks Sam, I really needed to hear that. And it means a lot, coming from you." He stood up and opened his arms, "Hug to celebrate this historic moment in our friendship?" He wiggled his eyebrows goofily.

Sam raised her own and laughed lightly, "Thanks Fredditz, but I'll pass. Can't have people know I go around hugging nubs."

Freddie dropped his arms and shrugged, a half smile on his face. "Okay Sam, but I know your secret." He paused dramatically. "You do have a soul." Sam stuck her tongue out at him and he smiled back, then turned to head for the door.

It was at that moment Sam realized something that would shake her world; she didn't want Freddie to leave. She wanted him to stay alone in the apartment with her, because she wanted to be that girl Freddie liked, the same one that honestly liked him back. She wanted to do stupid, nubby things in that moment before he left. Like: grab him and kiss him, or force him up against the door and get him to talk in his vampire voice because it was actually kind of hot. Freddie opened the door to the hallway, then he left, leaving Sam alone and changed forever.

As the door swung shut, Sam made a pledge. The kind of pledge that her younger self would have spat at, and given a good punch to whoever suggested it. She would be nicer to Freddie. Not, crazy, Carly nice, but decent, and she would act more like the kind of girl he could like, someone who was just as deserving of him. It would take a lot of hard work, and practically impossible commitment, but Sam was going to win that boy over, even if it took the rest of her high school life.

"Oh my gosh!" Marissa tried to shield her eyes from the horrors for the millionth time that night, but Pam, once again, pried them off. "Come on Marissa, it's no fun if you don't watch the girl being killed in her sleep! Ooooo look her boyfriend's freaking out!"

"Oh my," moaned Marissa, turning her head away.

Pam laughed and tossed a piece of popcorn in her mouth, pleased with the situation. What started as a day full of parenting movies and hour long PowerPoint presentations was ending with popcorn and horror movies.

In fact, only a bowl of popcorn sat between Pam and her lovely redheaded companion. Now, Pam didn't know if she liked girls, or if she liked guys and didn't feel it necessary to label herself with anything. All she understood was that there was a lovely person sitting on her couch that she definitely found attractive, but more than that, she wanted to cuddle and protect said person, actually date them, have conversations, and all that other cheesy chiz.

Her sudden pull to this woman was bad timing. Pam didn't know if Marissa could handle men, let alone a woman. Not that it would stop her; she'd just take it slow. With her cautious plan and hot bod, Pam was sure she'd have at least a chance of winning the heart of Marissa.

She'd have to handle things differently than she normally would. No throwing herself at Marissa's feet, or scaring her by coming on too strong. There was more at risk than just rejection; if she screwed this up Marissa would leave her life, probably forever, and Pam honestly didn't know how she lived with out the incredible redhead in her life before.

"Hey Marissa?" Pam asked casually, gently setting her plan in motion.

"Yes Pam?" Marissa peeked out from her curtain of hair she was using as a barrier between her and the tv.

"Wanna go grab something to eat? There's a really good place just around the corner." After a second Pam added, "Real clean too. Good muffins. Nice place." She gulped anxiously and mentally slapped herself at her pathetic attempt to sound casual.

A piercing scream rang out from the T.V., causing Marissa to shudder. "Sounds excellent. I'll drive."

The drive was short, but Marissa still used the time to lecture Pam on the various horrifying side effects and mental scaring caused by movies such as the one they just watched. Pam pretended to listen obediently, but in reality she was too busy with an unfamiliar warm, happy feeling all over her entire body as she watched the redhead rant about how the minor gore in Nightmare on Elm Street could make them think sadistic thoughts. Being lectured should make her frustrated, bored, and violent, like it had in the past, but instead she was in awe of the simple perfection of Marissa Benson.

At the café, Marissa continued to blabber about the horror of horror movies, and while she was still adorable, Pam really wanted her to shut up and talk about something else.

"Hey Marissa?" Pam interrupted, earning an exasperated look from the woman.

"What is it, Pam? It's very rude to interrupt people, don't forget."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you do with your time besides obsess over cleaning, and Freddie?" Pam hadn't meant the question to be rude, but Marissa looked pretty taken back, and a little offended.

"It's not that I don't like hearing your jabber," Pam added quickly, "Just why don't you talk about something else that interests you."

Marissa sighed, looking a bit unsure. "I don't have any other interests."

Pam's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Oh."

A silence fell and both nibbled at their foot, before Pam spoke again.

"Well, tell me about something then. Tell me about Freddie's dad," Pam suggested. Marissa instantly looked sad, but she began to talk immediately, taking time to draw out her sentences.

"You're picturing someone perfect aren't you? Some flawless, young man with a good set of morals and values." She chuckled lightly. "He wasn't like that at all."

"What was he like then?" Pam asked, intrigued.

"Charming. Good looking. Passionate. He'd fight to the death for what he believed in. He was the only person who'd stand up to me, but still come to me when he needed help." Marissa was relaxed in her chair, but still kept all of her attention on Pam.

"I think that's why he liked me so much. My parent's were so against us that he had to fight hard to be with me. After high school we took off from our little town and never looked back."

To say Pam was shocked would be a bit of an understatement. Goody two shoes Marissa; taking off with the boy she loved; defying her parents and risking everything she had? It was a whole new side, and instantly Pam was attracted to it.

"What happened?" Obviously this wasn't a fairy tale happy ending, otherwise Pam would not be sitting with Marissa right now.

"He found someone else to fight for." Her voice was distant, traces of hurt in it. "A, pretty, blonde on our street. Then, he was fighting me. I didn't give him a good battle, just left in the night with my things. My shot at revenge." She laughed a little bitterly.

"What about Freddie?" Pam asked softly. It was mind blowing to think that anyone could reject Marissa.

Marissa turned her gaze to Pam, smiling brokenly. "I figured out I was expecting just days after I left. I was in a disgusting little motel, all alone. Eventually I found a small apartment and continued working till I had Freddie. I told him about his son after Freddie was born."

Sensing an oncoming tragedy Pam reached across the table and took Marissa's hand. Marissa wound their fingers together tightly.

"It was too late. He had moved on. Told me to never bother him again." She took a shaky breath, squeezing Pam's fingers. "Sometimes, I worry my Freddie will be like him and leave me, but he would never be so cruel as to abandon his child." Marissa's voice broke a little at the end, sending a stabbing needle through Pam's heart. Without hesitation she stood up and pulled the redhead into her arms, hugging her tightly. Marissa remained frozen for a second, before she loosened and threw her arms around Pam, returning the hug fiercely.

"I'm sorry Marissa. You deserve better. So does Freddie," Pam whispered.

"Thank you," Marissa said softly back.

Later, when Marissa was dropping Pam off at her house, Pam was just about to open the door to leave the car, Marissa spoke up.

"You remind me of him sometimes."

Pam turned and looked Marissa dead in the eye. "I won't ever take off on you or abandon you Marissa, I promise."

Marissa smiled delicately. "Thank you Pam. And thank you for listening to me tonight. I felt surprisingly comfortable opening up to you."

Pam leaned in closer. "Anytime. Maybe we should do this again sometime. I can tell you my sob story," she added with a smile.

"Promise?" Marissa joked lightly.

"Promise."

Review, lovely person? :)