This was the worst planned trip of Santana's life. As in, it hadn't been planned at all.
After she'd left Brittany's apartment, she had managed to find herself a hotel room not too far away. The main issue was that she hadn't brought any luggage with her. Of course she had her netbook in her oversized purse, but other than that she was shit out of luck. That just meant she acquainted herself with the first drug store she could find, and she hit up the first H&M she could find to get some clothes.
It had been a week and a half.
Staying at the hotel hadn't been that bad. Santana had emailed her boss to let them know that she'd had a family emergency and was going to be out of town for a while, but she could do her work from where she was and just email it to them. That was what was kind of nice about working for a publisher - she could do most of her work on her computer.
Had she seen Brittany since she went to her apartment? No. Brittany had seemed so glad that she was staying, but she hadn't heard from her at all. Santana had sent her a text to let her know where she was staying, but not a single glimpse of her blonde best friend. For the briefest moment she had thought that maybe Brittany was messing with her, stringing her along. Seeming so glad she was staying but then not planning on ever seeing her while she was there.
That thought made her feel so sick to her stomach that she would even consider it. Brittany was far too good and sweet to ever do something like that. She would never deliberately hurt someone, and especially not Santana. It was still playing over and over in Santana's head, the moment that Brittany had said she was her best friend. It was the present tense that was keeping her there. She was her best friend, still, after everything that had happened.
There had never been anyone else for Santana. Even in the years she had been without Brittany in her life, there hadn't been anyone who took her place. Sure, she'd had friends. They came and went just like anyone else. Maybe the closest she'd gotten was with a few of her sorority sisters, but deep down she knew it would never come anywhere near what she'd had with Brittany.
No one else knew what she'd been through before they met her. All they knew was Santana the lesbian who occasionally bitched people out if they got on her nerves. Santana who partied with the best of them but didn't particularly open up to anyone. Her roommate sometimes got to see a different side of her, but rarely. Once she moved into the sorority house, that had been the end of that. The only people who got to see anything real from her were her teachers who required her to write personal reflections.
Honestly, those professors probably knew her better than anyone else had at school. She hadn't expected to do as much writing about her personal life and self as she had, but at the same she had to admit that she was glad they made her. Without those assignments, it just would have been all caught up inside her and she would have been back in the same place she had been in high school. None of them made her talk to them any more about it. They left comments on her papers, letting her know that if she needed anyone they were there. Letting her know that they appreciated how candid and honest she was about what she had gone through and was going through.
No one had ever replaced the Brittany sized hole in her life, though. Writing the occasional essay and hearing sympathetic words from her professors was different than having that one person she could talk to no matter what. That friend who wanted nothing but the best for her, no matter what it meant for anyone else. She and Brittany had been so codependent and there was no way anyone else was going to take that spot in her life.
Now that she had a glimpse of maybe getting that again, it was hard for Santana to wrap her mind around. Living without Brittany had been hard, and this was possibly even a little worse. Sitting there with the knowledge that she wanted her in her life, still thought of her as her best friend, but that she hadn't seen her since that day. She thought about going back to see her but after experiencing Ricky for less two minutes, she didn't want to risk having to see him and deal with that situation again.
Work was keeping her occupied enough, anyway. Her boss was understanding enough to let her take as much time as she needed, but as she was still able to work while she was gone, he was just sending her one thing after another. If not for housekeeping, her hotel room quickly would have become a complete mess of Sprite cans, fast food wrappers, with a big vodka bottle as the centerpiece on the desk. Well, housekeeping left the vodka there, but they cleaned up the rest.
It wasn't like there was nothing to do, when she needed a break. This was New York City, after all. She saw a lot of the sights and spent time in the parks, keeping a notepad and pen with her in case she felt inspired. Just because she mostly edited other people's writing these days didn't mean she didn't still write on her own. The difference was that she wrote for her and no one else. Sometimes she just needed to take a break from reading someone else's words and write her own.
A knock on the door made her jump in her seat. Her first thought was that she hadn't ordered any room service. It wasn't until she was halfway across the room that she realized it might possibly be Brittany. Her steps faltered as she looked down at what she was wearing. The thing about spending her whole day in her hotel room was that she hadn't bothered putting on real clothes. Gym shorts and a deep v-neck shirt were going to have to do, and she crossed the final distance and opened the door.
There was Brittany, standing there looking at her. Santana felt her heart jump for a brief moment before the expression on Brittany's face registered with her. She looked upset and Santana took her hand, squeezing it lightly. "Brit, what's wrong?"
"Ricky broke up with me," Brittany mumbled as she let Santana pull her into the hotel room. She shut the door behind her, and Santana hugged her. To be truthful, she was a little confused. Brittany had sounded so sure the other day when she said that she wasn't going to be with Ricky much longer. Then again, she wasn't exactly sure how Brittany had envisioned the breakup going down, and maybe it hadn't gone quite how she planned it? She had no idea, but with how her friend was hugging her so tight, it didn't seem like a happy situation.
"What happened?" Santana asked, pulling back from her embrace and looking up at her. She reached to brush some stray hair out of Brittany's eyes, and tilted her head a little.
"Last night he was mad and he was was saying again about how I need to do something other than dance," Brittany started with a sniffle, her hand slipping into Santana's again. "And so I finally told him all the stuff I told you. About how that's what I want to do and it's okay because it's what I'm good at, and how I don't need to grow up cause I am a grown up." She squeezed her hand, frowning. "He didn't really like that, and he started going on and on about how I'd never said any stuff like that before and he said he thought you put me up to it or something."
"He said what?" Santana's eyes narrowed. No way was she going to get blamed for that asshole's inability to appreciate Brittany for the amazing person she was. He could blame her for anything he wanted that was actually her fault, she couldn't take that away, but if he thought he could get away with blaming her for his shit, he had another thing coming.
"He was mad that you were there, the other day." Alright, she would give him that much. If their places were switched, she was pretty sure she wouldn't have liked it either. That still wasn't a reason to take it out on Brittany. None of that had been her fault. "He was really mad about it. I think he thought you were trying to get me to leave him for you or something, I couldn't really tell cause he was being loud about it and after someone's voice gets so loud I just can't understand what they're saying anymore."
"That's not fair, Brit," she said, shaking her head. "That wasn't fair of him at all. You felt like that before I came and saw you. You know that. Just because he won't listen doesn't change that."
"I know," Brittany said, resting her head on Santana's shoulder. She sighed, and Santana ran her hands along her back soothingly. "It's just, I don't like when anyone's upset. Especially when it's kind of my fault."
"It's not your fault," Santana murmured, her fingertips brushing against the ends of Brittany's hair. She was trying to comfort her as much as possible, but she wasn't exactly sure how. She pressed a kiss against her hair, her eyes closing for a moment as she took in a breath, catching the all too familiar scent of Brittany's shampoo. Some things never changed. "Apples."
"What?" Brittany raised her head up a little, furrowing her brow as she looked at her.
"You smell like apples," Santana said, offering her a bit of a smile, tucking her hair behind her ears. "You've always smelled like apples." Her smile grew when the corners of Brittany's mouth quirked up, glad she could make the other girl smile even a little. She raised an eyebrow as the taller girl leaned in and burrowed her face against the top of her head. "What are you doing?"
"You don't smell like normal," Brittany said as she pulled back. There was a slight look of disappointment on her face, and Santana couldn't help but laugh lightly.
"It's because they didn't have my normal shampoo at the drugstore," she explained, shaking her head. "I was stupid and didn't pack anything, so I just had to go get stuff from there."
"You didn't pack anything? Why not?"
"I... didn't know I was going to stay," Santana said, her voice quiet. Brittany was looking at her like she didn't understand, and she sighed. "I just needed to see you. I didn't really think about packing, I just got on the first plane I could find leaving Columbus and coming here. It's not my best moment, I know, but..." Brittany interrupted her by kissing her softly, and Santana's head was swimming for those brief seconds before the other girl pulled away.
"No, it is," Brittany murmured, her forehead resting against Santana's. "It is your best moment. That's the best thing I've ever heard." Santana leaned up, hesitantly kissing her. It was one thing to be kissed by Brittany, but a whole other to kiss her. Brittany was so sweet and she loved kissing so she tended to kiss anyone. Not in a floozy way, but in an endearing way. Like how she always used to kiss Kurt even though he clearly never would have had an interest in her, though that had almost always been on the cheek. She wasn't trying to lessen the two kisses she'd gotten from her in the past week, but she wanted to make sure it wasn't just a friendly gesture.
Brittany's lips were so soft, and they still tasted of bubble gum chapstick. It was so intensely familiar and like everything she remembered, especially when Brittany's lips parted and captured Santana's lower lip between them. It was such a small thing, she'd felt it hundreds of times before, but that didn't stop Santana from gasping. The way Brittany was sucking on her lip, it harkened back to so many memories and it had been so long since she had kissed her. She pulled back, and Brittany's teeth grazed against her lip as it left her mouth. That alone sent shivers up Santana's spine.
Her hands rested on Brittany's hips and pulled her in close as she kissed her again, most certain and assured this time. There was no hesitation as her tongue swiped over the other girl's lips, pressing in as her lips parted with a sigh. She moaned softly into her mouth as their tongues swirled together, and Brittany's fingers were tangling into her hair. It was all Santana could do not to shove her up against the wall and kiss her as hard as she could. The slow, sweet kissing had always been torture to her - amazing torture, but still. For once she was willing to tolerate it. Because it was Brittany, and it was the first time in so long, and it was so worth it.
With Brittany sucking on her tongue like that, Santana felt like her knees might give out. She let her hands roam all along her body, as if reacquainting herself. Up her hips, sides, running along her arms before cupping her face in her hands. She pulled away to catch her breath for a moment, just holding Brittany's face in her hands and looking up at her.
"Please don't stop," Brittany whispered, and Santana caressed her thumb against her cheek. She didn't want to stop, not now and not ever, if she was being honest. Her hands slid up Brittany's arms to meet with where her fingers were threaded in her hair. She pulled them away gently, linking their fingers together. There was so much she felt like she should say, like she wanted to say, but when it came to Brittany she had always been better with actions than words. So she didn't say anything and just walked backwards across the room, pulling the other girl along with her over to the bed.
Her heart was racing as she sat down with her on the edge, and she kissed her tenderly. It was just an amazingly soft feeling, their lips against each other, and Santana ran her teeth along Brittany's lower lip before she stopped long enough to push the other girl back down onto the bed. Santana stopped to take a moment to look at her laying there, her hair splayed out all around her head, her eyes locked on the girl in front of her. She whimpered softly, holding her hands up and making a grabbing motion toward her, and that was a little too much for Santana to take without doing something.
She crawled up over Brittany, straddling her as she crushed her mouth with hers. There was such desperation behind the kiss that time, as opposed to the sweet softness of the kisses before. Something inside of her had snapped when Brittany told her not to stop, and she had absolutely no plans to. Her mouth moved along the other girl's jaw, nipping at it lightly before moving down to her neck. There was so much want radiating through her body, still finding it slightly hard to believe that she had Brittany there with her, wanting her. She trailed open mouthed kisses down her neck, licking and sucking at her skin and reveling in the little moans and whimpers she was elliciting from her.
Brittany hands ran up her back, her fingertips digging in and racking her loose t-shirt up to her shoulders. Santana sat back enough to let her tug it over her head, and she pushed Brittany's shirt up and yanked it off once the other girl sat up a little. They both stayed still for a long moment, taking in the sight of each other and just listening to each other as their breath fell heavily over their lips. It almost felt like the first time, Santana thought. The first time they'd done this. They had seen each other with very little clothes so many times before then, thanks to cheerleading, but it had been different. It was the first time they were actually paying attention and really looking at each other. That was what it felt like, then.
Leaning down over her again, Santana dropped kisses along her collarbone. Brittany's hands ran up the back of her thighs, stopping on her ass and giving it an little squeeze. Santana groaned, her teeth grazing against her skin. Her hand slid around Brittany's back, easily undoing the clasp on her bra and pulling away as the other girl moved to remove it. There was only a brief moment of pausing to look at her, that time, before she was down on her again, closing her mouth over her breast. Her tongue swirled around her nipple before flicking against it, and Brittany moaned, her hips surging up to meet hers. Santana sucked on it, dragging her teeth across it lightly before moving over to her other breast and giving it the same treatement. Brittany's hands were in her hair again, her fingers tangled tight against her scalp.
The way Brittany's hips kept rolling into hers was making it hard to concentrate. One the one hand she wanted to savor every second, take her time running her mouth over every inch of the other girl's body. On the other, she just wanted to rip her pants off and go straight for it. Every time Brittany's hips met hers, combined with how she was writhing beneath her, Santana leaned more toward the second hand. She moved her hand down, quickly popping the button and undoing the zipper of Brittany's jeans. Her fingers slipped inside and she moaned as she could feel how wet she was even through her cotton panties. Brittany's hips jerked as Santana's fingers stroked against her through the fabric, and the whine that escaped from the blonde girl's lips was almost inhuman.
Brittany's hands left Santana's hair and caught on the top of her jeans, shoving them down over her hips and squirming in a desperate attempt to get them off. Sometime between sitting on the bed and that moment she had managed to kick her shoes off, but that wasn't helping her get the tight denim down her legs. Santana moved down and stilled her hands, her lips brushing against her stomach before she tugged the jeans down and off Brittany's legs. Those impossibly long legs of Brittany's, she just wanted to bite and lick her way up one and down the other. The only thing that stopped her from doing that was Brittany making those grabbing motions at her again, so she just ran her hands along her legs as she crawled on her knees back up the bed.
Once she got close enough, Brittany pulled her down into a sloppy, longing kiss and fumbled with the clasp on her bra. Fleetingly, Santana remembered how she'd always had to help Brittany with that before, and she moved a hand back to undo the hooks herself. She groaned low in her throat as the other girl's hands, soft and with slender fingers, cupped her breasts, her thumbs rubbing in circles over her nipples. Her hand slid down Brittany's torso, slipping past the thin fabric and between her legs. Feeling her wet heat, she broke the kiss with a moan, burrowing her face against the crook of her neck and sucking on her skin.
It really wasn't fair, that whining and whimpering thing that Brittany kept doing. It just made it impossible for Santana to think straight or to take her time or anything. She slipped a finger into her and bit lightly at her skin as Brittany's hips moved against her hand. The other girls hands slid around and her fingernails dug into Santana's back, making her bite down harder. Crooking her finger inside, she stroked against her and Brittany's hands moved to her shoulders, pushing her to move down. Santana dropped open mouthed kissed down her torso as she scooted down the bed, still moving her finger against her. She used her free hand to pull down Brittany's panties and the other girl kicked them off, wrapping her legs around Santana tightly for a moment, almost like a hug, and then letting them fall to the sides.
Brittany really was just so beautiful. Having here there, stretched out on the bed, completely naked, it was the stuff dreams were made of. Except she was real, so very real, and she was right there and her hips were rolling into Santana's fingers, little breathy huffs falling from her lips every so often. Santana settled in between her legs, but kissed her hipbone instead. Those stupid perfect hipbones that jutted out enough that she couldn't help but run the tip of her tongue along them, and bite them, and suck on them, just for good measure. Brittany was squirming, but her hands had moved back into Santana's hair and then were twisting and knotting in it and tugging just a little bit.
She wasn't trying to torture Brittany, though she was sure the other girl though differently. There was just so much she wanted to do, wanted to savor, and she couldn't help herself now that she had the opportunity. Not wanting to frustrate her more than she already had, she lowered her head down between her legs and looked up at her, their eyes locked for a brief moment before she ran her tongue along her. Brittany cried out softly and oh God that was the best sound she'd heard in her life. She moved her hand away and used them both to hold down Brittany's hips, closing her mouth over her clit with a moan.
Her hair really was being pulled on then, and that just turned her on even more. Brittany's reactions to anything were so unbelieveable hot that she felt like she could probably come from those alone. Her tongue lazily swirled around her clit and Brittany's hips bucked against her hold, a moan full of swearing mixed with Santana's name filling the room. Easing up on her hold, she let her fingertips slowly work their way up Brittany's torso, her sliding up onto her breasts and carressing them as she flattened her tongue and ran it all the way along her.
Hearing her name in what could only be described as a whimpered plea, she groaned and moved her hands back down to her hips, where she could grip tightly as she felt Brittany trembling slightly. Her fingers dug into her skin and she let the tip of her tongue tease against her before pushing in. Brittany's hips jerked almost violently, struggling against Santana's hands. There wasn't much she could do about that, though, nor anything else. Santana had barely gotten into a rhythm with her tongue thrusting into the other girl when Brittany came with a cry, her body arching up off of the bed. Her body shook as she lowered back down, and Santana just sucked and licked at her slowly before dropping kisses along the inside of her thigh, making her shudder, and then crawled up her body.
"C'mere," Brittany mumbled, grabbing onto her arms and pulling her up the rest of the way. Santana kissed her briefly before letting out a little squeak as the other girl flipped her over. It was really astounding how quickly Brittany could go from a whimpering, writhing mess to the girl who was on top of her, yanking down her shorts before Santana could even really process that she was on her back.
"Brit," she started, only to break off in a moan as the other girl's slender fingers slid between her legs. She let her legs fall to the side and her hips rocked up against Brittany's hand. Santana had been aching for some contact, some friction, but had been too intent on everything to do with Brittany that she hadn't had the chance. She knew she wasn't going to last long, not after all that and especially not with the way Brittany's thumb was tracing circles around her clit and her fingers were shallowly pumping into her.
Their mouthes met in a wanting kiss, a little sloppy but oh so good. Santana whimpered against her lips, feeling Brittany's fingers slip further into her. Her hands gripped the other girl's shoulders as she felt the pressure building up in her body. The way Brittany's tongue was running along the roof of her mouth, the way her fingers were stroking against her just so, and that flick she kept giving with her thumb, she knew she was done for. Her fingers dug into her skin as she felt like her body was exploding in pleasure, her hips stilling and a loud gasp escaping her.
Santana couldn't believe everything that was happening. If anyone told her two weeks prior that soon she was going to be in a hotel room in New York City, naked with Brittany, having an orgasm so intense she felt like she was seeing stars, she would have laughed in their face. She might have even slapped them. It was amazing how something that seemed so impossible was actually happening, and as Brittany flopped down on top of her, their legs tangling together and her head resting on her chest, she was still having trouble registering that it was real.
Brittany was there. She was real. Her fingers actually were running down her arm with a featherlight touch. Their fingers were lacing together. Brittany's breath was playing along her skin as she nuzzled against her chest. Santana brought up her free hand to run her fingers through Brittany's hair, gently working out the tangles as she got her breathing back to normal. This was what she wanted, what she needed.
And the number one thing she didn't want to think about was how she was eventually going to have to go back to Ohio.