"Try not to become a man of success
but rather try to become a man of value."
Albert Einstein

CHAPTER 22: PROVING ONESELF WORTHY

Well, this was it. The day I'd been dreading since we'd arrived. I shouldn't feel nervous—I'm happy.

But I'd been married to their son and had endured along with them the difficult and heart-wrenching experience of watching him… Leave us. Painfully.

I knew that Jacob's family wanted me to be happy. They loved me. I just wasn't exactly sure of their acceptance level. I didn't want them to judge me or my decisions since then.

I knew I was being a little bit selfish but I couldn't help it. They'd been so… Overwhelming after Jake had passed. They'd unintentionally made me feel like I was suffocating.

Jacob had never made me feel that way… And how Jake's family had treated me was completely different than how Edward treated me now.

They felt possibly that I had abandoned them when I'd gone off to college. Then to San Francisco… And now I would be leaving them behind completely to live in another country. With a new husband. I let out a small sigh.

The Blacks and many of the tribe members that had always been close to them and Jake in particular had decided to have a barbeque at the main beach. It was really beautiful, so I was happy that Edward would get to see someplace that I'd spent so much time at during my childhood.

The trees that were prevalent all throughout this area of Washington were always green. There was always so much rain here that everything was always green.

However, here, where the trees met the shoreline, where the pebbles that made up the beginnings of the beach heading out to the sand and the waves, the trees stopped. Knowing that going any farther would damage their roots, their very lives, you could say.

That's when I saw it—in my mind's eye. The Blacks were like these trees. I, and invariably my life, was like the beach, the sand, and the waves…

They were staying here, unchanging, happy in there continuity, as they were and as they would continue to be—Ancient and unyielding but still happy. Like the trees.

I, however, was moving forward, changing, like the rocks turning to sand. Through the machinations of the waves, I had been pounded, torn, broken down. But I was not staying on the beach, I was continuing out to the ocean to be polished and refined. I was heading out to sea, towards a new life, a new beginning.

Where Edward waited for me.

He kind-of reminded me of one of the Greek gods—Poseidon… But… Without all the bad traits. I smiled involuntarily at myself.

I looked for him then. I saw him standing and talking quietly to Charlie and Billy. They looked like they were laughing about something… I caught Edward's eye and he excused himself to walk over to me and sit down on the log I was sitting in the sand in front of, with my back propped up against it. I was really happy to see Charlie becoming more comfortable around Edward.

I was also really glad my dad had come. It reminded me of when I'd graduated from college. I told Edward about that day, of course. He hadn't even known me then but he was still so proud of me. It was really sweet. But he also understood the significance of my dad being a silent support of my choices to the Black's. Especially of my decision to move forward with my life so completely. Of my choice to be with Edward.

As we sat by the large, glowing bonfire that had been started right before we'd eaten a dinner of hotdogs and hamburgers, it was now time to introduce Edward to the magical art of s'mores.

As we ate our 'dessert,' he was suddenly like a little kid, trying to lick the melted marshmallow off his fingers that would leak out from between the graham crackers. It was so funny and cute.

We'd been laughing and enjoying ourselves, when Edward excused himself to go and get us some sodas. I suddenly felt someone sit down next to me, really close. I looked to my right to see Leah next to me.

"Oh! Hi Leah! I thought maybe you weren't going to be coming or something… I hadn't seen you…"

She cut me off. "I can't believe you're getting remarried. And to someone… So… Different." She'd said the last word with extreme disdain.

I had expected some negativity—I had received nothing but acceptance and love from Billy and everyone else, however.

I should have known that my luck had run out. But I refused to give in to her anger. I'd done nothing wrong. I decided to be brave. To be the woman that not only Edward loved but that Jacob had as well.

"I'm sorry, Leah, I didn't know you expected me to go into a nunnery after Jacob died."

I hadn't realized that I'd spoken so… Loudly.

Everyone else had stopped talking and I saw Edward across from me, only a few feet from the fire, with Billy right next to him. They, along with everyone else, were now staring at me and Leah.

Leah stood up quickly. "Of course I didn't expect that. But you left… You left your home, your family… And now you're going to leave with him to live in another country?" She had her arms down at her sides, with her hands balled into fists. She was visibly shaking.

I wasn't scared of her, I was more upset about how her words would affect her family, my father, and… Edward.

I stood up slowly. So slowly that my father started walking over towards us. But I had something to say and I'd be damned if I wasn't going to finally get this out of me and off my chest.

"I loved Jacob. With everything I had." My voice was sharp. Cutting. To the point. "But it was never enough. Not for you. Not for your family. Not for his friends… It was as if you all thought I could somehow change what was happening to him. Jacob was the only person who accepted what was happening to him. He accepted it much better than I ever did. He wanted me to be happy, even then…" I started losing it but before I could even get a tear out or a sob started, my father was standing right next to me.

"Leah, I don't know why you would be so disrespectful to not only the love of Jacob's life but to your own family. Jake wanted nothing but happiness for Isabella. And, just so we're clear…" He swept his eyes around the fire, to take in everyone that was there. "She is happy. Happier than I've ever seen her. She's come into her own, she's a woman now, and she's chosen someone that accepts her for not only who she is but for whoever she'll become in the future."

He put his arm around my shoulder protectively and gave me a squeeze. "She deserves no less, Leah." He let go of me and motioned for Edward who was already heading over to me by that point.

My father put his hand out to him as he reached us and grabbed it warmly. "Thank God I can let my daughter go and know that she's going to a better man than I have ever been."

Edward shook his hand tentatively. "No, Charlie. Thank you." He let go of my father's hand and turned to take everyone in before he turned to stare at Leah. "I'd like to thank all of you for helping Bella to become the woman she is now. I love her more than any of you could possibly comprehend. But she does deserve to be happy. And I've made it my mission in life to make sure she always is. Forever."

He reached out for me just before he'd finished speaking and took my hand in his tightly, pulling me towards him. "Thank you for letting us visit with you. I think we'll head back to the house now." He turned to Charlie, "I assume you'll be home shortly after us, Charlie. Good night."

He turned us away from the bonfire, away from my former family.

He was my family now. I felt it with every fiber in my body. And as soon as we were home, I'd tell, and show, Edward just how much he meant to me.

~~:::~~

As we boarded our flight to head home, I couldn't stop gazing at my Bella. She was very beautiful, yes… But her heart was what made her stunning.

I was surprised when we'd gotten home from the gathering with her former in-law's family at how calm she was. Especially considering how Leah, her former sister had spoken to her.

She explained that it had actually gone better than she'd expected. She was almost in awe of her father. She was very, very thankful for me. She told me that her current state of happiness was strictly due to me.

I was then outright shocked at how she'd basically attacked me once we got up to her room. She was forceful, passionate, and very in control.

After we'd made love she told me that as far as she was concerned, I was her family now. She owed nothing to anyone but me.

I'd wanted to claim her again right then. But her father came home and I didn't think it would be appropriate to maul his daughter after he'd so eloquently spoken up for her and had finally accepted me. Besides the fact his room was right across the hall from hers… And that pretty much stopped my advances on her immediately, knowing he could hear us. And he would have heard us.

I must have had a sultry smile on my face as I was remembering, because Bella quietly reached over to me from her seat on the plane and very tenderly ran her fingers along my jaw. "I love you, Edward."

I reached over to her, trying to control my emotions as I touched her lips with my thumb. "I love you more and more every day, my Bella."

It was hard to not kiss her passionately right there on a plane full of people... Wait, this seems familiar… I chuckled to myself.

It was getting a little strange—we were actually more and more amorous as time went on, not less. I thought that was a good sign. I told her my thoughts.

She snorted. I couldn't help but be a little offended by that. "What? You think that's funny?"

She became serious and I could see her want for me behind her hooded lids. "No, I do not, Edward. I'm just surprised that you think it's going to be any other way with us."

I had nothing to say to that. Every man's fantasy… I wife that felt the same way about intimacy as her mate? Incredible. I told her that too.

I got a better reaction that time. The blushing and the giggling… Ahh. My beautiful wife… She smacked my arm. "You're being overly dramatic. Besides how could I not want you all time when you love me as you do?"

I stared at her, wanting to convey all my love and affection through my eyes to her. She stared back and the electricity hummed between us. "Our eyes are windows to our souls, my love."

She kissed me softly then, "Most definitely, my beloved."

Needless to say, I was very happy and content during our flight back to England, back to our plans and aspirations, back to our home.

~~:::~~

Edward and I really were having a wonderful time touring Forks and the surrounding area, especially after the fiasco that was the La Push barbeque.

After everything that had been said at the barbeque, Charlie was now completely comfortable around Edward. Since he'd accepted Edward as being the most important part of my life, they were on pretty good terms. Better than I ever could have hoped for in such a short time.

I wasn't happy that the incident with Leah was the catalyst, but that was over now and I was just glad my dad was making such an effort to get to know Edward better.

We'd said our goodbyes to him and took a leisurely trip to Olympic National Park. In all the years I'd lived in Forks, I never once had taken the trip over to see it. It was… Spectacular. And we had tons of pictures to prove it. I shook my head remembering…

While we'd still been staying with Charlie, I'd received a package from a specialty photographic shop in Seattle. As Edward and my dad stood by and watched, I suspiciously opened the package. Of course. It was a brand new digital Nikon D700 camera. There were two general purpose lenses, a wide angle for landscapes, and a fisheye-style. As I slowly raised my eyes to stare at Edward, my dad made a quick escape.

"You said you'd start being accepting of the things I buy for us, Bella." I hadn't even said anything yet and he was already defensive. I guess Charlie saw this one coming…

I carefully put the camera down on the kitchen table and walked slowly over to Edward. He actually flinched when I reached out to touch his arm. I was a little offended by that.

"Edward, I'm not going to hurt you for wanting to buy me things."

He looked down at me sheepishly. "Oh."

I shook my head at him but didn't move my hand from off his arm… And I gave him a little squeeze. "But you don't need to always buy the most extravagant of the choices that are available!"

"That's not. There are three or four other cameras farther up the 'food chain' from this one…"

I stared at him incredulously. "Food chain?" I must have sounded a little shrill but I really had not been going for that at all.

He actually put the fingers of one hand to the bridge of his nose, pinched there, and squeezed his eyes shut. His other hand was now resting on his hip. "Isabella Marie, you know what I mean."

Uh oh. My complete first name. And my middle name. I sighed, ready to give in. Again.

But I think I finally understood that I was only making things harder on him. I wasn't in any way 'helping' him to try and understand that he was being extravagant. Because to him, it wasn't. And it never would be.

I needed to stop berating him for being… Himself.

I stepped into his personal space and wrapped my arms around his middle. "I love you, Edward. I'm sorry I'm so ungrateful."

He let out a loud breath and wrapped both his arms around me placing his cheek against the top of my head. "You're not. I'm sorry I got so defensive. I just get so annoyed that I can't get you to understand that money doesn't matter to me. Which, quite frankly, it doesn't have to since I have plenty of it."

We both chuckled. "O.k. Well, I'm still sorry I sound so unappreciative. I do appreciate you, along with everything that you do for me. It's just so hard sometimes…"

He squeezed me tighter to his body. "I know, love. But honestly, this purchase is as much for me as it is for you. I've always wanted a really nice camera and this seemed like a good time to go ahead and get it."

"I love you, Edward." I whispered into his chest.

"I love you, too, Bella." He whispered back.

As we made our way to Seattle, I realized that time was moving quickly. December was in full swing and we hadn't even discussed where we'd be spending our Christmas.

"Edward, was there anywhere in particular that you wanted us to spend Christmas together at?"

"Well, with the wedding not quite a month away and we've just spent the last couple of weeks or so with your friends and your family…" He grew thoughtful. "Can we go home?" He looked so hopeful. And honestly that sounded wonderful. But… I wanted to spend Christmas with just him. No one else.

I began to fidget and was I trying to get my thoughts together… And then Edward, was, well… Edward. "Sweetheart, we don't have to spend it with anyone else. We'll make it just you and me. How does that sound?"

I got a little emotional. I'll admit it. But it felt almost… Supernatural sometimes. Like he could read my mind. "Oh! Really? That would be so… Perfect." Before he could say anything else, I started prattling. "Oh! I could make a traditional Christmas dinner for us, we could decorate the library… That would be so awesome! Like a Dickens Christmas or something! Oh, Edward…"

He openly gawked at me. And then… He laughed. Not at me but because he was so, so happy. "That sounds fantastic."

Once we got back home and spent some time working around the estate and getting things ready for my office, that's exactly what we did. His family was pretty understanding, considering… Even Rose and Emmett didn't get too bent out of shape about it.

We had a small tree that we decorated with only popcorn and lights. We had a wonderful meal that, of course, Edward helped me prepare. We had a small, traditional English Christmas cake—rich fruit cake with marzipan and a thick, fondant-type icing—it was so good… We watched old movies, popped Christmas crackers and exchanged gifts.

Amazingly we'd both bought simple gifts relating to the wedding. When I told Edward how completely in shock I was that we'd both been thinking similarly about our Christmas gifts, he laughed heartily, reminding me how in tune we were with each other all the time. "How could we not get Christmas right?" He'd said cheerily.

It was the best Christmas I'd ever had. And it was, I think, for Edward too.

~~:::~~