Shinigami-cat: PruCan fans are going to love this chapter... I OWN NOTHING!

Project: gentleman part 1

It all started on one stormy day. The boys were watching TV in the lounge room while Matthew was in his room watching a slasher flick. "Hi boys I'm back!" Cried Shinigami-cat as she ran into the room. The boys ignored her. Shinigami-cat pouted and walked down the hall to Matthew's room. "I haven't seen them in ages and they ignore me? I guess I'll go shopping with Matthew or something."

When Shinigami-cat was out of sight Roderich looked around and frowned. "Did someone just walk by?"

"What?" Asked Gilbert.

"I thought I heard the Land ladies voice." Said Francis.

"Ve, but that's impossible." Said Feliciano. The boys began to laugh.

"No way." Said Gilbert.

"Of course not." Said Francis.

...

Two seconds later the boys were running as fast as they could to Matthew's room... Where Shinigami-cat was... She did not look amused. Roderich chuckled. "Oh hello Land lady. We had a party in here last night. Oops, I guess we forgot to clean up."

The other boys grinned at Roderich's genius and began to clean up Matthew's room. In other words they were putting all of Matthew's things into plastic bags. Matthew was having none of this and swiftly beat the boys to a pulp.

Shinigami-cat saw red. "What the hell is going on here?" She growled out in a demonic voice. The boys screamed and started to beg for forgiveness.

"WE'RE SORRY!" Cried Roderich.

"WE DIDN'T MEAN TO!" Cried Francis.

"WE DID OUR BEST!" Cried Gilbert.

"DON'T KILL US!" Cried Feliciano.

Shinigami-cat glared the boys then turned back to Matthew. "Matthew! Let's go shopping for some new clothes! And buy some shoes! Go buy some classical music and we'll pick out an instrument for you to play while we're at it!" Matthew's eyes widened and he started to run, but Shinigami-cat grabbed the back of his shirt. "What happened to you Matthew? You used to be so cute... You said you wanted to be just like me when you grew up..."

"How old was Matthew when he said that?" Asked Gilbert.

Shinigami-cat held back a tear. "I was hoping that we could be just like best friends... What happened to my beautiful dream?" She picked up Kumajiro.

"I'm throwing this garbage away right now!"

Matthew roared like a lion as he ripped Kumajiro out of Shinigami-cat's arms. "I'm sorry Auntie. But... I just want to be left alone in the darkness..."

Shinigami-cat was stunned. She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Gilbert..."

"Yes!" Said Gilbert.

"You and Matthew... are a couple aren't you?"

"No we-"

Francis covered Gilbert's mouth. "Of course they are... So in love!"

Shinigami-cat nodded. "I see... then it's your fault Matthew's still like this. Only love can change a person! It's time for you two to go on a little lovers get away!"

Matthew and Gilbert gasped. What the hell was Shinigami-cat thinking?

"There's no way..." Said Roderich. "Alone together? Not possible!"

"Ve, they'll kill each other!" Said Feliciano.

"Wait Land lady!" Said Francis. "I'm the one dating Matthew! I'll go on the vacation with him!"

Shinigami-cat grabbed Francis by the front of his shirt and burned daggers into him. "You better cut it out right now! There's no way I'm letting my nephew date a perverted freak like you!"

Francis gulped and began to shiver. "Okay!"

XoXoXo half an hour later oXoXoX

Matthew and Gilbert were in the back of a stretch limo. Feliciano, Roderich and Francis were saying goodbye to Gilbert. "Ve, good luck Gilbert." Said Feliciano.

"No matter what happens don't give up." Said Francis.

Roderich took some bits of plastic out of his pocket and gave it to Gilbert. "Take this."

"What is it?"

"Just take it." Snapped Roderich.

Gilbert pocketed the bits of plastic and the car started to pull away. Gilbert sighed and glared at Toris. "Hey buddy where the hell are we going?" Toris said nothing. "Are you ignoring me? Say something God damn it!"

While Gilbert was yelling at Toris, Matthew was being weighed down by guilt. 'Auntie... I'm sorry I never told you the truth... but this is the real me... When I'm next to these creatures of the light I just melt...' He glanced and Gilbert for a second and sighed. 'I'm sorry... but I have to run away.'

Matthew rolled down the window and tried to jump out. But his plan was foiled by Gilbert who yanked him back inside. "What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to kill yourself?"

Toris picked up his phone and smiled. "Why yes madam. They're getting along just fine."

"SO YOU CAN TALK!"

XoXoXo at a swanky hotel oXoXoX

Gilbert and Matthew followed Toris to their room. Toris paused outside a room and got out the keys. "The madam was using this as a second home." He slowly pushed the door open. Matthew and Gilbert almost had a heart attack.

The walls were pink in colour, the carpet was a cream colour and the only piece of furniture in the room was a giant round bed, covered in rose petals.

"What the hell is with this room?" Cried Gilbert. "The only thing in here is a fucking bed!"

"Oh and Matthew I have a message for you from the madam." Said Toris. "I know the first time can be a little scary, but just relax and let the guy do his thing and everything will be okay." Matthew screamed, grabbed a chair and threw it at the window. The chair shattered on impact while the glass didn't even have a scratch. "The window is made of super resistant shock glass. Not even Godzilla could break through it." Toris turned and closed the door... leaving Matthew and Gilbert alone.

Matthew ran into another room. "There has to be another way out!" Matthew ran into the bathroom... it had a one way mirror... In other words if you were in the room with the bed like Gilbert was now, you could see everything that was happening in the bathroom, where Matthew was. Matthew screamed.

"Idiot." Said Gilbert. "There's a freaking mirror in there..."

Matthew walked out of the bathroom. He looked really shaken up. "I hate mirrors..."

Gilbert sighed and lied down on the bed. "What a pain in the- AHHHHH!" The bed suddenly spun around. "What the hell? A revolving bed?" Gilbert reached out to grab something to stop himself from spinning. He ended up knocking a box off the bed side table and spilling its contents all over himself. It was several condoms packets and a few tubes of lube.

Matthew's eyes went wide. "No freaking way!" He ran to the window to try and smash open the window again but he ended up tripping over the remote turning the TV on.

"DON'T TURN ON THE TV!" Cried Gilbert. "It probably shows nothing but porn!"

Shinigami-cat's face filled the screen. "Mattie! Gilly! You two have fun now!" The TV turned off. Gilbert and Matthew began to panic.

"She really wants us to fuck doesn't she?" Cried Gilbert.

"Gilbert? Gilbert do you read me?" Crackled a voice. Gilbert pulled the bits of plastic out of his pocket and began to cry with joy. Roderich had slipped him an earpiece and a microphone.

"RODERICH!" Cried Gilbert. "SAVE ME!"

"Gilbert... you're just going to have to do it with Matthew." Said Roderich.

Gilbert's eyes went wide. "YOU IDIOT! I'LL FREAKING KILL YOU! I CAN'T DO THAT! WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? FRANCIS?"

"Just think about it!" Said Roderich. "There's only one way out of that room. Not even you could break through that glass. And you'll never pass security anyway... Besides now we'll finally get to live rent free maybe..."

Gilbert shook his head. "No way. I'm not having sex with Matthew!"

"Come on Gilbert." Said Francis. "It's not like you wouldn't know how to do it with a guy! This is all you need to say... I love you... you are so beautiful Matthew... Look we can see the ocean... The stars are stunning tonight... Every star in the galaxy was made just for you..."

"Ve, it's your only way out!" Said Feliciano.

"You're only way out." Said Roderich.

Gilbert began to pace the room and panic. 'No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... The rent is riding on this... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... I have no choice... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... The rent is riding on this... No way out... No way out... I have no choice... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... I have no choice...No way out... No way out... No way out... I have no choice... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... The rent is riding on this... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out... No way out...' Something in Gilbert's mind snapped.

Matthew was beating his fist against the window. 'Auntie... I promise from now on I'll take a bath at least once every three days... I'll brush my hair... And I'll only watch one slasher flick per day... so please... Please just let me out! Please...' Matthew was about to burst into tears when two slender arms wrapped around his waist.

"Go take a shower." Whispered Gilbert. He kissed Matthew on the head. All the colour drained from Matthew's face and he fell to the ground. Gilbert quickly picked Matthew up and placed him on the bed and ran his hand firmly along Matthew's thigh. "Don't pass out yet." He growled seductively. "The night has only just begun..."

Matthew looked at him for about a second before he began to scream bloody murder at the top of his lungs. Suddenly Toris burst in. "What's wrong? Sounds like someone's dying in here!"

Gilbert glared at him. "Don't interrupt."

Toris blushed and closed the door. "Of course... Sorry..."

Gilbert smirked and pulled off his shirt. "Don't worry Birdie... He won't be bothering us again." If you looked closely you could see Matthew's soul escaping through his mouth.

XoXoXo back at the house oXoXoX

Roderich, Feliciano and Francis's faces were bright red. They could hear everything. "I... I never thought Gilbert would actually go along with this..." Said Roderich.

"Ve, this is so embarrassing..." Said Feliciano. "Hearing your friend getting busy is about as gross as it gets... I don't want to hear anymore..."

Francis sighed and turned off the equipment. "Well let's give the love birds some privacy."

Roderich sighed and stood up. "I guess we should make our way over there..."

Francis raised an eyebrow. "Are you a closet pervert?"

Roderich rolled his eyes. "No. I just think that if we don't get there soon one of them is going to die horribly. Because let's face it... there is no way Matthew is going to have sex with Gilbert and Gilbert will get really pissed if this ends badly."

Feliciano nodded. "Okay then. Let's go get a taxi, ve."

Roderich nodded and quickly ran to Matthew's room. "I'll get Kumajiro."

XoXoXo back at the hotel oXoXoX

Gilbert was straddling Matthew and slowly began to move his hands under Matthew's shirt. His lips were millimetres away from Matthew's lips. Suddenly Matthew growled and kicked Gilbert right in the stomach sending him flying off the bed. He landed on the ground with a thump. "Oh come on!" Growled Gilbert.

Matthew got off the bed and glared at Gilbert with pure venom. "Did you really think I'd give you my virginity just so you can live rent free?" He marched right over to the door and began to kick it. "TORIS! OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!"

"Is there something wrong?" Called Toris.

"I'M GOING HOME!" Screamed Matthew.

"I'm afraid the car's off limits for the night."

"I'LL WALK!"

"... Please Matthew... Think about the madam's feelings... She's been looking forward to the day that you finally become a gentleman."

Matthew sighed and rested his head against the door. "What is she thinking?" He muttered. "Doesn't she understand I won't... no I can't do that... Ugly people like me can't do these kinds of things... those things are reserved for creatures of the light..."

Gilbert rolled his eyes and walked towards Matthew. "You know Matthew... You're the only one who sees it like that." He gently turned Matthew around and pressed him against the wall. Their bodies pressed together. Gilbert wrapped his fingers in Matthew's hair and tilted his head back. "This is your punishment." He whispered. "This is what you get for trying to pull a fast one over your Auntie... Your punishment..." Their lips were almost touching.

Suddenly Shinigami-cat ran into the room with a bottle of champagne and three glasses. "CHEERS!" Matthew fainted. Shinigami-cat looked at the two in confusion. "Wait a second... you two didn't do it?" Rage filled her face. "YOU FOOL! YOU GUT LESS MORON!" She screamed. "I GAVE YOU TWO WHOLE HOURS! A NORMAL GUY WOULD HAVE DONE IT TWICE BY NOW! FIVE TIMES ON A GOOD DAY!"

"You're his Aunt!" Cried Gilbert. "How can you talk like that?"

"YOU IDIOT!"

Gilbert gulped. He had never seen Shinigami-cat that angry... ever. "But... But... I... I..."

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR EXCUSES!" Shinigami-cat screeched. She grabbed a sword that was hanging as a decoration from the wall and glared at Gilbert. "GET ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES BOY! THIS ROOM NEEDS A COAT OF RED PAINT!"

"MISS LAND LADY!" Cried Feliciano as he ran into the room. He hugged Gilbert and began to cry. "Gilbert did the best he could... If you want to hit someone hit me!"

Shinigami-cat sighed and dropped the sword. She turned to Roderich and Francis who were standing in the doorway. She pouted. "That was a dirty trick Roderich. You know I have a soft spot for that little cutie."

Francis smiled and walked into the room. "I just love this room!" He picked up a condom and winked at Shinigami-cat. "Why don't you and I make use of these together Miss Land lady?"

Shinigami-cat growled and picked up the sword again. "GOOD! NOW I CAN HIT YOU INSTEAD OF FELI!"

Matthew shook his head and slowly sat up. "What the hell just happened?" He mumbled.

Shinigami-cat smiled. "Oh Matthew! You're up!"

Matthew began to cry. "Auntie... I'm sorry... All... all this time I haven't been telling you- AHHHHHHHHHH!" Matthew had seen Gilbert and dived under the covers of the bed.

"Matthew? What's wrong?" Asked Shinigami-cat.

Gilbert sighed. "I guess being alone with me was pretty scary for you."

Shinigami-cat frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Roderich walked over to Matthew and held up Kumajiro. "We brought Kuma for you."

Matthew quickly took Kumajiro from Roderich and buried his face into its fur. Shinigami-cat sighed. "Toris..."

"Yes madam?" Asked Toris.

"Please take Matthew home..."

Toris nodded. "As you wish madam."

Toris lead Matthew out of the room. Shinigami-cat took one last look at Matthew. A single tear fell from her eye. "Goodbye Matthew."

Matthew looked back at Shinigami-cat and looked at her in shock. "Auntie..."

To be continued maybe...

Shinigami-cat: Well... Please review?