Disclaimer: None of Glee belongs to me; I've just got a lot of imagination and free time (and ADD).

AN: None of this is Betaed; I'm the only one who's edited it so sorry for any mistakes.

Puck's Little Sister Disasters

A series of unrelated one-shots about people from Glee meeting Puck's little sister and having to re-think what they know about the jock. Puck's sister will be consistently named Sarah but other than that timelines, ages, and back-stories change for each story.

Story 2: At Glee Practice

Puck's phone rang just as everyone was gathering in the choir room. Nobody really would have paid much attention if he hadn't immediately picked it up and answered it so oddly.

"What happened? Are you hurt? Is Princess okay?" Puck's immediate response to the caller ID was apparently to be worried. "Oh. No, I, uh, sure. Just drive by on your way, I'll wait out front." He said as he headed out the door without even glancing at any of his fellow club members. The club erupted in speculation; the most popular story was that Puck owned a pit-bull named Princess who'd eaten chocolate or something. Mr. Schue tried to get their attention for a good eight minutes before Puck walked back into the room causing abrupt silence.

What could anyone say when a small child appeared to be attached to the jock without his notice? The girl looked like she might just be old enough for kindergarten, wearing blue jeans and a pink shirt with 'Princess' across the front in golden glittery writing, she clashed completely with the aura Puck was surrounded by. He had one of his 'fuck with me and die' looks on his face, the kind that sent nerds diving out of the way, and a little girl was hanging from his neck as easily as if she were just one of those bling necklaces they'd used at the beginning of the year during the 'Empire State of Mind' performance. She was smiling and swinging around vigorously, some of the others winced imagining that chokehold around their necks.

"Oh God," muttered Mercedes. "Please tell me Beth was his first child." In the silence of the room everyone heard her comment clearly and chuckled uncomfortably or suddenly avoided looking at Puck. It was a ridiculous idea; he'd have to have been twelve or thirteen at the oldest when he impregnated the girl's mother, but still it was possible, maybe.

"Noah, are you aware of the child hanging around your neck?" Rachel asked a bit hesitantly. He stared at Rachel for a moment then suddenly grabbed the child around her waist pulling her off and holding her out upside down in front of him.

"Where did this come from?" He asked deadpan.

"Mommy gave me to you silly!" The girl wiggled around in his grasp and kicked the air, some of the more maternal club members (or responsible and mature, aka the girls and Kurt) shifted closer in case she managed to get loose and fall. "No-oh put me down! I wanna meet the Glee friends."

Puck flipped her around and carried her to two empty seats at the end of the front row. Sitting her down in the furthest chair he pulled a coloring book and some crayons from the small bag no one had noticed him bring in along with the girl. Settling her in with a few whispered instructions he turned back to the rest of the club to explain.

"This is Sarah, my sister. Ma had to pull an emergency double shift for a friend at work. She's five and I'm her sitter so Ma didn't have anyone else to call. She'll be quiet while we practice or whatever, I'll take her home if she's annoying or something."

"No-oh I'm not annoyin', I'm your Princess. You can't call princesses annoyin'," she looked up with a frown at her brother.

"You're right, you can't annoy me. But sometimes other people don't like the same things you do. Someone else might not like having you here as much as I do." Puck saw her still upset frown and quickly explained it away. "You're so cute and you're such a good princess that other people might get mad because they aren't as cool as you."

"Oh," looking around the room at the stunned Glee club members who were staring at the siblings she smiled encouragingly at them. "It's okay. Not everyone can be a princess. There's got to be princes and knights to save them. No-oh's just my knight but he's still happy." She assured everyone as sincerely as a five year old could. That broke the ice as everyone laughed at Puck's red face.

"Well, why don't we introduce ourselves to Sarah. We could each sing her something as well," Rachel chipped in, as eager for a new audience as ever.

"Oh, oh! Can I guess?" Sarah jumped up and Puck expertly caught her coloring book in one hand and saved her from tripping with the other. She then gave those adorable begging eyes fully mastered by children, puppies, and kittens everywhere. "I know all about the Glee friends." At this Puck paled and some of the Glee clubbers shifted uncomfortably at the thought of what Puck might have told his little sister about them.

"That might not be-" Puck started.

"That's a great idea, it'll fit perfectly into this week's lesson about seeing ourselves through someone else's eyes." Unfortunately Mr. Schue was as clueless as always. "Sarah can tell us who she thinks is who based on what Puck's told her about us."

"Okay, first is Quinn, I already know her because she lived with us for a little. Sam is the blond boy, right. And No-oh brings Brittany over to play dolls with me all the time 'cause he's not as good at it." As she spoke Sarah pointed around the room. "Hm, Finn's the tall one No-oh misses playing with 'cause they stopped being friends last year."

"Crap," Puck moaned quietly into his hands. They were going to get weird ideas about him. True he brought Brittany over to play with his little sister but he didn't want people knowing that was the reason he brought her over, he'd always played it off as hooking up with her; he felt like he'd be taking advantage of her or something if he really did, she was so childish. And the Finn comment made him sound like a wuss or something, sure he missed being bros with Finn, sometimes, but Princess made him sound so, nice, and lame. He really should have told her to stop calling him by that special nickname, No-oh, long ago.

"Artie is the cool kid with the chair on wheels so that's him," she continued pointing as she named the Glee members with surprising accuracy. "That's S'tana, she's the only cheerer with black hair. And Mike's the Asian dancer who's the best, and Tina's the girl Asian with the cool cloths. I wanted to be Asian 'cause they have cool eyes but No'oh said you have to be born Asian special, like we got born Jew special. Rachel's the Jew girl and she talks loud. Mercy is the one who sings long notes and quit cheers because she's 'one-of-a-kind' special like all the cool people. Kurt's got cool clothes and he was born gay special and No-oh said Kurt is the strongest person at school, but you don't look as strong as No-oh, he can carry anything Mommy wants him to." As she finished on a slightly confused note the rest of the room had varying reactions: all were surprised, most were a bit confused, and everyone was pleased (except possibly Sam and Santana, not that they were upset, but there wasn't anything special about them that Sarah knew besides hair color).

"It's not the same sort of strength Princess."

"Okay. I got them all, right? All the Glee friends?"

"Yeah, you've got them all down."

"Why do you call it The Glee Friends? I thought it was just Glee," Brittany asked.

"That's 'cause you do Glee and you're all friends. No-oh says you're all special people he wishes he was friends with," she replied as Puck jumped up to try and stop her from continuing, unfortunately everyone had gathered around his sister and they were blocking the way.

"Okay, that's enough," he protested.

"What do you mean he wishes he was friends with us?" Kurt coaxed Sarah.

"He said he was mean to all of you before he knew you were cool so now you guys can't like him," she pouted. "You should like him, he's the best brother ever. He reads me stories and takes me places and sings to me and gives me stuff and he plays with me whenever I want. He's really nice, I promise." She ticked off all of her brother's good points on her hand in an adorably serious manner. "He'll even play Barbies with me if I ask long enough, he can't do the voices right and he's not very good at tea parties, but Mommy says he tries his best."

"You know Puckerman, it sounds like your sister is your real best friend," remarked Santana with a smirk.

"We're better than friends. 'Cause we're ra-late-id," she sounded out the word she clearly didn't quite know, "You can't leave when you're ra-late-id, friends stop being friends and leave No-oh. I'm his Princess so No-oh can't leave me, that way he'll always have someone."

"Oh, Sarah," Puck finally grabbed his sister from the Glee club and tickled her while carrying her back to her seat. "I think you've completely destroyed my hard earned rep in less than twenty minutes."

"Is that bad?" She asked, chewing on her lower lip in transparent worry. Looking around the room at everyone's expressions Puck gave her a small smile.

"I guess not, Princess." He turned back to the group, "so, now you've used my innocent little sister to find out my secrets. What else are we doing today? Mr. Schue had an assignment for the week, right."

AN: So I joined the Peace Corps like back in 2010 and have had very spotty Internet since then, I never seem to have a flash drive with my stories (mostly GWA which is actually done) on it when I visit a town or city with Internet, so I'm just posting as I can. Also because of this I've only seen the first half of the second year of Glee, anything that happens after that may or may not be included in any of my fics because I may have started writing it before an episode came out or before I heard of it.