Author's note: Thank you so much for the reviews. You have no idea how much I appreciate them.
Some inspiration from 2x23 (Hunger artist) and 4x12 (Butterflied)
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI…but Santa says that I've been a good girl this year so...who knows? =)
Disappointments, Explanations, Heartbreaks, Heartaches
Sara's hands started to shake. She wanted to wipe away the tears but she didn't. She couldn't. She just wanted to sleep. Maybe if she slept, this would all turn out to be a bad dream.
But it didn't. It wouldn't. And she knew that.
How could she have hoped that maybe he wouldn't go…for her? How could she assume such a thing?
Sara put her head on her hands. She had just heard the chime of the clock which indicated it was midnight. Prince Gil had gone to battle.
Sara appreciated his efforts to explain to her why he was leaving. She really did. She knew it was a hard thing to do. But…she wanted him to have no reason at all to explain. She didn't want him to go.
Even though she is a maid, she is very smart. She is a woman of science who knew how people die. How the Earth rotates and revolves. She knew why the sky is blue and she knew all about constellations.
…But she didn't know how the heart worked. She didn't how love worked. And that angered her.
…And at the same time, it saddened her.
Sara buried her face in her hands. She started to think about what happened. She started to think about what made her sad.
**FLASHBACK**
Prince Gil nodded as he went inside her room. Sara hoped that he wouldn't be going to battle at all. After minutes of awkward silence between them, she decided to speak.
"Prince Gil. Please explain why you decided to go and join the battle." said Sara
Grissom nodded. "…Right. Well, I decided to join the battle because my father wanted me to learn how to fight. He wanted me to learn how to defend our kingdom because he thinks it would come handy in the near future."
Sara shook her head. "Prince Gil…we both know that that isn't the only reason why you decided to go and join the battle. Prince Gil…please give me your real explanation."
"That is the real explanation." Said Grissom
Sara frowned. "The only explanation?" she questioned
"Well…it isn't." said Grissom
"Then why? Tell me why you decided to join the battle all of a sudden? Is it you? Is it me?" asked Sara
"Actually…it's us. No, I don't mean "us" as a couple because we aren't…I meant "us" as in our relationship as friends."
"What is our problem, then?" asked Sara
Grissom was suddenly interested in examining the floor. "Lately…I…I have noticed that our friendship was dying. As slow as it may be, our friendship is still dying. And I don't like that. I still want to be friends with you. I joined this battle because I think that we both need some space. Maybe, if we are not to see each other for a few days, our friendship will grow again. Maybe we'll have more time to organize our thoughts…to think about what we want…To decide."
"But I already know what I want. I want to be with you. I don't need to think anymore. I don't want to waste time. I already know what my decision is. I've already thought about this. About the consequences and hardships we'll face. But…you just don't want to take the risk with me…For me. And besides, why do you need to go and join the battle just because you think we both need space? You didn't have to go to battle just because of that. If you really needed space, you could have just told me. All you had to do was ask." Sara softly said.
"But that's the thing. If I stay at the castle when I need space…I can't help but go near you. Even when I really need the space…I know I cannot help but go closer to you. I'm attracted to you…like a moth to a flame." said Grissom
Sara nodded "I understand. But I cannot help feeling sad knowing that your life will be in danger for the next few days."
"I will be fine. I promise." Said Grissom
"When will you come back?" asked Sara
"I'm not sure. But I do promise you that I will be back."
"All right." said Sara
Grissom just nodded as he left the room, closing the door softly.
As the door closed, Sara remembered that she wanted to do something.
…She just didn't remember what.
After minutes of pacing back and forth in her room, she remembered what she wanted to do.
She wanted to say goodbye to him. She wanted to hug him because it might be the last thing she could do to him.
Quietly, she stepped outside her room and proceeded to walk towards Prince Gil's room. She reached for the doorknob but then she heard voices. Thinking that someone was with Prince Gil, she decided to just wait outside. But then she heard Grissom speak.
"But then, all of a sudden ... we get a second chance. Somebody young and beautiful shows up. Somebody we could care about. She offers us a new life with her...but we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her. I couldn't do it...but you did. You risked it all...and she showed you a wonderful life, didn't she?"
Sara felt tears slowly roll down her cheeks. She decided that she didn't need to speak with Prince Gil anymore. Quietly, she went to her room.
Sara turned and looked at her clock. 12:38 a.m. It was time for her to sleep. She lied down on the bed desperate for sleep to come. After minutes of tossing and turning in bed, she gave up sleep and she thought about what Prince Gil said.
…I'm attracted to you…like a moth to a flame…
…I couldn't do it…But you did…
…You risked it all…
…Maybe we'll have more time to organize our thoughts…to think about what we want…to decide…
…No, I don't mean "us" as a couple because we aren't…I meant "us" as in our relationship as friends…
… I'm not sure. But I do promise you that I will be back…
…But then, all of a sudden...we get a second chance…
…Somebody young and beautiful shows up…Somebody we could care about…
…She offers us a new life with her...but we have a big decision to make, right?
…Because we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her…
Sara smiled despite the tears. Prince Gil can be confusing sometimes.
"I'm attracted to you…like a moth to a flame…" said Sara to an empty room.
Sara sighed. If I only knew how love worked.
Prince Vincent was pacing back and forth in his room. His plan had worked. Smiling, he thought about what happened a while ago.
**FLASHBACK**
Prince Vincent knocked on Prince Gil's door. A silent "come in!" was heard so he let himself inside.
"Hello dear brother." Said Vincent
"Hello Vincent. How can I help you?" asked Grissom
"Well you see, I was wondering if you know any romantic restaurant…I want to take a beautiful lady to dinner, you see…" said Vincent
Grissom removed his glasses. "…Really? Who is this girl?"
Vincent smiled. "The beautiful lady's name is Sara Sidle."
Grissom was shocked. He didn't even know that Prince Vincent and Sara were dating. "…But I thought that Princes weren't allowed to have relationships with people who aren't princesses or duchesses?"
"I know. But, I have told father about what I feel for Sara…and he approved. So…" said Vincent.
"Ah. Well, try Gertrude's. It is a very romantic restaurant." said Grissom
Vincent frowned. This wasn't how the conversation was supposed to be. He didn't give up.
"Dear brother…don't worry. I'm sure you'll find Isabelle soon enough. You'll find your one true love. Right?" said Vincent
"Yes…I suppose so… Listen Vincent…for a while, I was attracted to Sara but…since I thought that we cannot be with one another…I gave her up."
"Why? You let a beautiful lady go…well, it's your loss. Good luck on finding the right woman dear brother." Said Vincent
Vincent heard footsteps. He knew it was Sara so he spoke again to indicate that Grissom was speaking with another man and that she shouldn't enter. If she enters, his lie would be discovered.
"Do you think you still have a second chance at love?" said Vincent
"Isabelle was gone. When she was lost, I lost hope. I gave up trying to find the perfect woman…But then, all of a sudden ... we get a second chance. Somebody young and beautiful shows up. Somebody we could care about. She offers us a new life with her...but we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her. I couldn't do it...but you did. You risked it all...and she showed you a wonderful life, didn't she?" said Grissom
Vincent, upon hearing footsteps running to the opposite direction, smiled. "Yes…she showed me a wonderful life. And she will until my very last day on this earth."
Vincent laughed at the memory. He hit two birds with one stone.
…Now if he could just make Sara love him…
A.N: Like it? Hate it? Review please =)