If You Only Knew, Chapter 6

A/N: Woo! I didn't expect this to take off like it did. Well, even I'm impressed—2,205 hits for five (not counting this one) chapters, 10 faves, and 25 alerts! Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this—it warms my heart. 3 Thanks especially to ITestedGarrussReach, to whom this fic is dedicated. Enjoy!

Garrus POV

"It must have been worse than I thought," Chakwas commented. "What, she just started coughing blood?"

"Yeah," Garrus said tersely. "I don't know what happened."

The doctor nodded, her eyes on her patient. Shepard was still unconscious, an IV trailing from her arm. The cut had been cleaned and stitched up again, but she hadn't ruled out the possibility of a hemorrhage.

There was a long silence as they stood together. Casting a sideways glance at Chakwas, Garrus could tell the gears in her head were turning madly. Finally, she turned to him.

"You don't have anything to do with this, do you?"

"I'm sorry? What do you mean, Doctor…?"

"Don't patronize me, Garrus." The intelligent eyes of the human standing next to him drilled two holes in his head. "I know she didn't get that from a damned shuttle."

He said nothing.

She sighed. "Fine," she said dryly.

Her eyes flicked down to his hand, and her eyebrows arched ever so slightly, but she nodded like she understood. Turning away, Chakwas left him to his own devices.

Almost against his own will, Garrus found his hand lightly tracing the glowing orange cybernetics webbing her face. Humans are so soft, he mused. Her breath ghosted across his fingers and he stayed there, mesmerized. A part of him wondered how awkward it would be if she opened her eyes right then, but she didn't, and he stayed there until Chakwas shooed him away to do some more tests. As he left, Garrus looked back at Shepard's unconscious form.

If he didn't know any better, he'd say that she was smiling.

Tali POV

"Tali, can I talk to you for a sec?"

The quarian turned around and found herself face-to-face with Garrus. "Garrus! What can I do for you?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, obviously uncomfortable. "I…I think I kind of lost control."

She folded her arms, inviting him to continue.

"You know what happened at the Citadel, right?"

"How could I not?" snorted Tali. "That Cerberus bitch was railing off about that from here to her office. I bet she's still complaining. What's on your mind?"

"She came up to talk to me afterwards," Garrus said. "And…I hit her."

Everything came to a screeching halt then. "You what?"

He nodded grimly. "She's still in the med-bay. With a concussion. It was an accident, I didn't mean to, but—"

Tali cut her off with a single gloved hand. "Garrus, hold up. What the hell is going on?"

"I…"

But then he stopped, like he was suddenly lost for words. She scrutinized him before asking the million-dollar question.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because…"

Lost for words again.

Tali sighed. "Well, you can come back to talk whenever you're ready," she said airily. "Those engineers aren't much of company."

Shepard POV

Turian hands were unusually gentle.

Or maybe that was just Garrus.

A rather alien touch had roused her from her spell, and it took a few moments to realize that it wasn't Chakwas touching her.

Garrus…

But why was he even here? Why was she here? What was…oh.

The events of the last hour came rushing back at her and she almost winced. Her head still hurt, but his talons ghosting over her scars felt spookily good. Soothing, like her mother's touch…like Kaidan's touch.

What? Since when was she comparing Garrus to Kaidan?

It was probably the sedative.

Through the blanket of silence she could hear Chakwas shooing Garrus away and a pair of cold, professional hands replaced his warm, rough ones. She smiled, still thinking about him. She didn't quite know why.

Kaidan POV

Sure, he thought about her. He thought about her every day.

He still carried her holo around after two years.

The only difference was that now, broaching the subject of Emily Shepard didn't hurt like it used to.

She'd made her allegiances known in no uncertain terms that day on Horizon, and Kaidan wasn't quite in a forgiving mood—Cerberus was a disgrace to his species and the real Shepard should've known that.

Besides, and this shocked him deeply—he didn't even care anymore.

One woman was not worth the grief that Shepard had caused him. Whether she had meant it or not, she had very nearly killed him with her untimely departure. That was unforgivable.

I'm better off without her, he thought. It's definitely time to move on.

Even then, throwing the little holo into the water brought a little pang of loss.

A/N: For the sake of this not turning into a damn soap opera, yes, Kaidan has moved on.

To compensate, however, I've got a Shenko fic up, A Broken Frame. Check out the follow-up, too—Can You Save Me, centralized mostly on the relationship between Tali'Zorah and Kal'Reegar. Why? Because I love that couple with a burning passion. Apologies to any Talimancers.