"Welcome back to Total Drama Revenge of the Island," Chris announced.
The host stood on a beach with all 25 contestants anxiously chatting behind him.
"Last episodes we got to meet the returning cast," Chris said. "And we've got quite a bit of potential for some extreme drama this season. Can Owen convince Izzy to take him back and dump her unwilling new boyfriend? Will Courtney ever get over her issues with Duncan? And have I could up with all new ways to torment these guys? It all starts today with our first challenge."
"And you still haven't told us exactly what that challenge is," whined Courtney.
"Patience, Courtney," Chris nearly growled. "A good host always stretches out the suspense."
"And when do you become a good host?" Heather retorted.
Chris just shot her an annoyed glance.
"Since you guys clearly can't wait a few minutes without complaining, I guess I'll have to send you off," Chris sighed. "It's time to get into teams and find your quarters. However, here at Wawanakwa we try to make everything a challenge, so get ready for some excitement. There are four forts set up for you among the island, one on each point of the island. Each fort can house six of you; the first six will be a part of that team, with the very first person arriving being the captain."
"Wait a minute," said Harold. "Four times six is 24 where will the 25th person stay?"
"Like I said, everything is a challenge," exclaimed Chris was uncontained glee. "The last person to find a base will be eliminated. Immediately. So if I were you, I'd get started."
That set off the campers. In a burst of excitement they dart off in different directions. Some made their way off the beach and into the woods while others rushed down either end of the beach. Once the dust had cleared Chris could see that Noah remained.
"Um, did you miss the part about the race?" Chris grumbled. "You know, so you don't get eliminated."
"I told you, I'm not participating this time," Noah scoffed. "You can go ahead and eliminate me, I'd be perfectly happy with that."
"But hundreds of teen girls wouldn't," Chris sighed under his breath.
***
Noah's Confessional
I've jumped off a cliff, I've been carted around on a plane that could fall apart any second, and I was attacked by a vicious serial killer. I don't care how much is on the line, I'm not risking myself again.
Izzy, with just her bare hands, hacked away at the overgrown vines in way. Following nervously was Ezekiel.
"Does being in the wild bring back any of your feral emotions?" Izzy chimed enthusiastically.
"Yo, I told you, you must be some sort of crazy person, I don't know what you're talking about, eh," Ezekiel complained.
"Yeah, a lot of people call me that," Izzy laughed. "But getting down and dirty here with you is bringing out the animal in me, we should give in to our animal instincts."
"Gah, you're not just crazy, eh, you're seriously messed up," Ezekiel gagged as he stepped away from her.
"No, I mean literally, silly," Izzy giggled.
To demonstrate she got down on her knees and began to sniff the air.
"I've got a scent," she cheered. "The fort is that way."
She took off to the north with Ezekiel stumbling to catch up with her. Not too much longer Gwen and Trent entered the same part of the forest.
"So, are you and Duncan like officially together now?" Trent asked.
"I don't even know," Gwen sighed. "Guy trouble has just been a little too much for me. I think it'd be best if I called off all relationships currently."
"So, then you're single?" Trent asked.
"Did you miss the whole point of what I just said?" Gwen snapped. "I really don't need this right now. It's bad enough that Cody's still into me; I'm just glad that Sierra's keeping him busy."
"Hey, it's okay," Trent said apologetically. "I just miss what we had."
"I do too," Gwen sighed again. "But it's for the best."
The two were interrupted when Owen came rushing through the bushes. He was completely out of breath.
"Have…you….guys…seen…Izzy," he managed to breathe out.
"I thought I heard her voice around here," Trent answered. "It sounded like it was coming from that direction."
"Thanks guys, I've got to show her that's making a terrible a mistake," he claimed as he headed off after Izzy.
"I'm worried about him," Trent sighed. "With Izzy, anything can, and usually will, go wrong."
"You think he's got it bad," Gwen said, "you should have seen the way she was smothering Ezekiel. He's the one who needs to be careful."
The two decided to keep moving and left in the west direction. As the forest got thicker, the two realized that they had a new problem.
"We've entered quicksand," Trent gasped as he realized that their ankles were submerged.
"Chris!" Gwen cursed.
"That's right," came Chris's voice from his helicopter. "Did you really think it would be as easy as just finding some fort? Nope, I've taken the liberty of filling your paths with various deathtraps. Good luck."
Trent and Gwen tried to make their way back to solid ground, but found that they were sinking surprisingly fast.
"Trent, I don't know what to say now," Gwen cried desperately.
"I understand," Trent replied.
"No, serious, I'm not sure what I should say," Gwen elaborated. "Should we have a romantic good-bye, or would that be infringing on my 'No relationships' resolution?"
Before the duo could sink, though, they were pulled up by a pair of strong hands.
"DJ," cheered Trent.
"Yep, I told you guys, I'm gonna make this a fair game," DJ explained. "If someone needs help, I'm gonna help them."
"Wow, you're actually going through with that?" Gwen said disbelievingly. "Well if you save us from anymore death traps I'm not complaining."
"Why don't you come with us, DJ?" Trent suggested. "The three of us would make a pretty good team, and I think I can see a clearing just ahead"
The three left behind the quicksand and continued their race.
Gwen's Confessional
I'm glad that Trent and I can be just friends. As long as Sierra's around I don't have to worry about Cody trying anything stupid. So, that just leaves Duncan; I don't know what I'm going to do about him. I mean, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have been eliminated last season. But there's just something about him that…gah, I hate this!
"Can't take…one more…step," moaned Blaineley, as she tumbled to the ground.
The woman made her way to a stump where she sat down.
"High heels? What was I thinking?" she shrieked.
She then turned to call out to the woods.
"Hello, I need some assistance here," she called. "I need someone to carry me around. C'mon, it's not asking too much, and you owe it to me after my cheap elimination last season."
"Um, Mildred, most of the contestants are nearing the forts already," Chris pointed out from his airborne location, "you have yet to go ten feet from the starting point."
"I told you my, my name is Blaineley," she cried. "Blaineley!"
She stopped her rant when she realized that someone else was approaching her.
"I'm pretty sure we've been here before, Lindsay," Tyler pointed out.
"No way, I don't remember there being a Blaineley on the stump before," Lindsay argued.
"You've got to help me!" Blaineley begged.
"Sorry, the role of a brainless dyed-blond chick has been filled," Tyler said as he and Lindsay depart back into the heart of the forest.
"Yeah, that's right," Lindsay added. "Wait a minute…"
The girl took a few minutes of walking as she considered what had been said.
"Tyler, you don't think I'm dumb, do you?" Lindsay asked.
"What…uh…of course not," Tyler awkwardly answered.
"Okay, now let's find that fort," Lindsay said eagerly. "Oooh, shiny!"
Lindsay spotted a silver fork hanging from a tree. As she reached out to grab it, she and Tyler were hoisted up into a net.
Lindsay's Confessional
I'm glad that Tyler respects my intelligence; 'cause there are some mean girls at my school who call me things like 'idiot' and 'doofus,' but luckily, aside from Heather, there's nobody who thinks that on this show.
"Why are you following me?" Heather snapped at Alejandro.
"How do I know that, you're not following me," Alejandro argued. "After all, I am ahead of you."
"That's ridiculous, why would I want to follow around a jerk like you?" Heather scoffed.
"I don't know; you tell me," Alejandro retorted.
The two were travelling through a grassy field part of the island.
"Alright, I suppose you deserve a glimpse at my true intentions," Alejandro admitted. "I think that you and I would make a good team. Last time we couldn't reach our full potential together because we were enemies, but this time if we combine forces no one will be able to stop us."
"That plan is…actually not bad," Heather agreed.
"Look, on that smaller island out there, it's a cabin," Alejandro called out.
"And there's a motorboat down there by the beach," Heather spotted. "It must be the fort for the east point."
"Move it, losers," came the commanding voice of Courtney as she charged past them. "If anyone's going to be a leader, it's me."
"She's stealing the boat!" gasped Heather as she ran after Courtney.
The duo arrived too late to stop Courtney from taking off and heading for the island though.
"Well forget that team," Heather snapped. "I don't want have anything to with miss CIT."
"Oh really, but if we're on the same team as her, then we can eliminate her sooner," Alejandro pointed out.
"Hey, you're right," Heather exclaimed. "Joining forces might actually be good idea after all."
Heather's Confessional
I don't actually trust Alejandro. He feeds off of emotional weakness, which I no longer have. But if thinks that I'm on his side then he won't try anything sneaky, and I can watch him at all times. Wait a minute, that didn't sound suggestive did it.
Alejandro's Confessional
Heather is as predictable as ever. She says that she's over me, by I can tell by her eyes that she's completely in my palm, did you see how easily she agreed to an alliance. If it wasn't for her and her faking weakness I'd be a millionaire, this time I'll keep an eye on her at all times and make sure that she gets eliminated as soon as she tries anything.
Leshawna and Duncan made their way along the slippery rocks on the coast.
"I think I heard Gwen calling for help, we should go look for her," Duncan declared.
"Uh-uh, no way, not gonna happen," Leshawna protested. "Gwen has been put through a lot, and you're just making things harder. Do you think she likes having everyone hate her?"
"Hey, she can't resist me," Duncan argued. "And who are you to keep her away from the guy of her dreams?"
"A good friend, that's who," Leshawna continued. "If you want her to be happy you won't sabotage her chances by getting in the way."
"I don't need to take this," Duncan scoffed. "I'm out of here."
Duncan began to climb in the opposite directions. Soon Leshawna was alone.
"Leshawna, up here," called Harold. "Check out my awesome dive."
The boy jumped out from his high pointed, but landed with a sharp rock between his legs.
"Ow," he rasped as he tumbled clumsily into the water.
Leshawna just pressed her against her temples and sighed, "When will that boy learn."
Eventually after scaling along the wet rocks, Leshawna found an opening in the cliff. She crawled in and found that inside was lit and quite spacious. She also noted a door, which led to a small chamber full of beds.
"Yeah, Leshawna, I go girl," she canted.
"Leshawna, where are you?" came a voice from above.
"Gwen?" Leshawna gasped as she peaked outside.
Looking up she spotted her friend along with Trent and DJ.
"Down here," she beckoned. "I found the fort for the west."
"Alright!" cheered Trent as he cannonballed into the water and climbed up to join her.
Gwen and DJ soon followed.
"I can't believe the four of us are going to be all on the same team," Leshawna said. "Talk about good luck."
"I could swear I heard a splash around here," came the voice of Cody from the outside.
"Do you think that maybe the fort is around here somewhere?" Sierra asked.
Leshawna was ready to call them down too, when Gwen signalled for her to be quiet.
"I don't think I could put up with Cody for a whole season," Gwen whispered. "And I especially don't want to be sleeping in the same room as him."
"Leshawna, may fair lady, I'm coming for you," Harold proclaimed as he swam towards the cavern.
"Sorry, Gwen," Leshawna sighed, then she called, "Sierra, Cody, don't here. Hurry!"
The two jumped down and quickly made their way into the cavern.
"Sorry, Harold honey, this team is full," Leshawna said hurriedly.
"Hey look, Gwen's here," Cody said happily.
Gwen just sighed with annoyance.
Leshawna's Confessional
Hey, I was the captain, I'm the one who should be calling the shots. And if I feel that Sierra and Cody were better assets than Harold, then I should be allowed to invite them. Sure it might have been a little hard on Harold, but it's time he got over his obsession. And as for Gwen, she'll forgive me. Probably.
Justin, Katie, and Sadie walked through the endless fields of sand.
"It's, like, so lucky that we ended up with Justin, isn't it Sadie?" Katie gushed.
"Absolutely, I could, like, stare at his back all day," Sadie replied.
Justin wore a smile, yet he was clearly frustrated with his companions.
"So like, where do you this is fort is?" Katie asked.
"Gee, I don't know, Katie," Sadie answered. "We've been walking along this beach for, like, ever, we've got to be close."
"Hey, isn't that, like, a motorboat?" Katie pointed out.
"Good eye, Katie, I'm glad that one of you isn't completely useless," Justin said.
Katie looked absolutely smitten while her friend just frowned. The three got into the boat but as Justin tried to start it the motor struggled.
"This piece of junk," Justin cursed. "It's not starting."
"Gee, Sadie, maybe it can hold all of our weight," Katie suggested. "Why don't you join up with a different group?"
"Why me? Why should be separated from my Justin?" Sadie cried.
"Because, he's my Justin," Katie argued. "Face it, I'm prettier, smarter, and fitter than you; you'd be doing Justin a favor by letting me stay with him."
"You're the worst best friend ever," Sadie sobbed as she got out of the boat and ran the other direction.
Beth collapsed against a tree. She had been wandering around the forest for a while now without making any progress.
"Stupid trees, all look the same," she heard someone grumbling nearby.
She walked towards the voice and saw Eva walking angrily through the forest.
"Eva, are you lost?" Beth asked as she approached her.
"No," Eva replied bluntly. "Now leave me alone."
"Maybe we should stick together," Beth suggested. "That way we can help each other out."
"I don't need help from an insect like you," Eva snarled.
"Well since we're both lost we might as well be lost together," Beth continued.
"For the last time, I'm not lost," Eva declared as she grabbed Beth by the shirt. "Now you'd better beat it, or you'll regret it."
Beth nodded and headed in the other direction. After a little more wandering she bumped into Duncan.
"Gwen?" she heard him calling.
"Haven't seen her," Beth said as she approached Duncan.
Beth began to follow Duncan but with after she heard a snap beneath her foot she found herself under a cage.
"Help me out," she said to Duncan.
"Um…nah," answered the boy as he abandoned her.
Beth's Confessional
There are definitely a lot of jerks on this show, but between Duncan and Eva I think that Eva is just more understood. She's never with any friends, she must feel a little lonely. Duncan's just a jerk, end of story.
"Whoa, did I accidentally enter a loser convention?" Duncan said as he spotted another group of contestants.
Tyler and Lindsay were hanging in net from a tree, Sadie was crying against a rock, and Blaineley had collapsed on the ground.
"Hey, let me tell you something," Blaineley snarled as she got up and approached Duncan.
Before she could finish her thought, though, she was sent falling through a hidden pit.
"Well, I'll just leave you people with your issues," Duncan declared as he headed out to the east.
"Hey, what's going on, we're moving," gasped Tyler from the net.
Slowly the net was being pulled by a rope in the trees.
"I wonder where we're going." Lindsay said.
"I wonder what this will bring us," Izzy exclaimed as she cranked a handle pulling a rope towards her.
She and Ezekiel had climbed to the top of Wawanakwa's mountain where'd they'd found their fort.
"Izzy, I'm coming for you!" Owen declared from the base of the mountain.
Slowly the boy began to scale the mountain. He was nearly at the top when a black substance began to pour out of the cracks in the mountain.
"Hey, is this oil?" Owen gasped as he slipped off the mountain and fell to the ground.
"Oh, I was hoping someone would trigger that trap," Chris exclaimed from his helicopter.
"Hey look down there, it's Bridgette and Geoff," Izzy declared as she waved. "Hi, Bridgette and Geoff."
Bridgette was pulling ahead while Geoff was falling behind.
"Hey, wait up, Bridge," Geoff called as he stumbled through the wildlife.
"There's no time, Geoff," Bridgette replied. "Hurry up."
Both of them arrived at the mountain and Bridgette immediately started to climb. Geoff however needed to take some time to catch his breath.
"Geoff, what's the hold up?" Bridgette complained.
"Sorry, coming," Geoff said as he began to climb.
His ascent was much slower than Bridgette's, however, and involved several stops to reclaim his balance. By the time he reached the peak, Bridgette had already been waiting impatiently.
"C'mon, Geoff, you need to step up you're game if we're going to have shot at winning this," Bridgette complained.
"Well, I'm sorry I'm not fast as you are," Geoff snapped back.
"Geoff, I…I'm sorry," Bridgette sighed. "I just…I don't want you to get eliminated so soon; you haven't had much of a chance the last couple of seasons. I really want us to get to the finals together this time."
"Hey, no worries," Geoff replied. "We made it and that's what matters."
"Yay, my prize is arriving," Izzy cheered as she reeled in the net. "It's Tyler and Lindsay, what an awesome prize."
"Izzy, I'm coming for real this time," Owen declared as he got back up.
"Sorry, Big O, I think this team is full," Izzy shouted down.
"NO!" Owen sobbed. "It's not fair."
Duncan had found a motorboat on the beach and had used it to locate the island with the east fort. Now he was approaching it with speed. He arrived and found a fancy cabin surrounded by exotic trees. He walked up to the cabin and knocked on the door. It opened and he came face to face with Courtney.
"You!" they both gasped.
"Can't you find one of the other teams to join?" Courtney complained.
"By this point, they're all full," Duncan shrugged. "Looks like you're stuck with me again."
As Duncan entered he spotted the other members of the team. Heather was soaking wet and collapsed on a couch. Alejandro was also wet and had taken his shirt off, Katie was staring him with wide eyes. Justin had looked more annoyed.
***
Justin's Confessional
This Alejandro guy is going to be a big problem. With my good looks constantly decreasing, and him looking as hot as ever, he'll take away all of my power. I've got to do something about him soon.
Back at the beach, Noah still hadn't moved. Eventually other campers started showing up as well. Owen and Sadie were sobbing in each other's arms, while Beth and Eva both looked quite confused that they had arrived back at the start.
"I don't believe this," growled Eva. "I let you out of that cage, and you just lead me back here."
Beth smiled meekly and backed away. Soon, Harold washed up on the shore as well.
"Um, Chris, are you sure that there are four forts?" Beth asked.
"Yeah, one sec," Chris said as he pulled out his cellphone. "Chef, where are you? Uh-huh, right. Well hurry up, and when you get here…"
Chris hushed his voice for the next part of his conversation, then closed his phone.
"Yeah, your base will be here soon," Chris said to the campers.
True to his word, an old boat arrived at the shore. The large, black Chef exited the ship and immediately grabbed Noah.
"Hey, what are you doing?" Noah demanded as he was tossed onto the boat.
"Sorry, Noah, I can't throw away the fan favorite in the first challenge," Chris explained. "So congratulations, you're the leader of the south team."
The rest of the contestants quickly filed onto the boathouse as well
"Well, now that all of our teams are formed let's get them named," Chris said. "The captain gets to pick the name, but it must be an alliteration with the direction that it's associated with. Let's start with north."
Chris flew his helicopter to the mountain where Izzy and her team had arrived.
"Izzy, what is your team's name?" Chris asked.
"Hey, you know what I really like?" Izzy said. "Nuts. You know, walnuts, peanuts, coconuts, I just love all kinds of nuts. We should be Team Nutty North."
With a ping, a green icon with an acorn on it appeared in the corner.
"Yeah, that's appropriate for more than one reasons," Chris said as he headed off to the cliff where Leshawna's team had arrived.
"Leshawna, what will your team be called?"
"How about Team Winning West," Leshawna called out.
Their team received an orange icon with a star.
"Leshawna, do I need to remind you that the last time you named your team, Team Victory, every member was eliminated in record time?" Gwen pointed out.
"Oh, yeah," Leshawna replied slightly embarrassed. "Can I change it?"
"Nope," Chris answered. "All team names are final."
Chris then flew over to the cabin on the island.
"Courtney, as the leader what will you name your team?"
"With all the jerks on this team you might as well call it Team Evil East," Courtney sniffed sarcastically.
With a ping their team received a red icon with a mischievous Chris face on it.
"Hey, that's not fair, I was being sarcastic," Courtney cried.
"No, what's not fair is that I am the icon of evil," Chris said. "How does that work."
Before Courtney could answer he added, "Don't answer."
Chris then returned to the starting point with Noah's boat.
"Noah, what's your team name."
"I don't know," Noah scoffed.
"Nope, it's gotta start with an 'S,'" Chris reminded him. "Just say something
"Something," Noah sighed.
"Team Something South it is," Chris declared.
The last icon appeared, this time a blue question mark.
"Well, there you have it, all the teams, their captains, and their names," Chris announced. "What lies in store for them now, tune in next week."
Before Chris could finish, a filthy Blaineley crawled out of the forest.
"I've been stuck in a hole for, I don't even know how long," she cried. "Where's my team?"
"Actually, Mildred, you're the last to arrive, so you're finished," Chris declared.
"Fine, I hate this stupid show," Blaineley muttered. "I can't wait to never have anything to do with it."
"Well that's too bad," Chris said clearly enjoying this, "because for the rest of the season you'll be hosting Total Drama Aftermath."
Blaineley dropped to her knees and screamed, "WHHHYYYY!"