Chapter 11: When You're Through Thinking, Say Yes

Alone in her cabin with nothing but a few fish and a hamster for company, Shepard considered what Kasumi had said, and what she should have said.

"What the hell do you mean, 'love?' Stow that shit before I toss you out an airlock!"

She could only imagine Kasumi's response and was suddenly glad that she'd left with a simple "screw you" in the way of last words.

"He loves you, and it's about time you decided if you do too."

Damn.

Had it really been that obvious?

Of course she was in the main battery all the time, she thought. It's not like anyone else on this ship inspires confidence.

The other part of her disagreed.

"Don't deny it," she said aloud. "Why can't you admit that—"

She abruptly fell silent.

God dammit.

So it wasn't in her head after all.

She really was going crazy.

Was she?

When she'd first seen Garrus on Omega, she'd known something had changed in the way she felt about him—she just never figured out what until Kaidan had turned his back on her on Horizon. But still, she had refused to acknowledge it. Dealing with the aftermath of Sidonis' departure had been…jarring, to say the least. Especially the moment where he'd stood caressing her face in the medbay.

Kasumi was right.

Can I really keep denying that something is there?

Of course the answer was no.

The only question left was what the hell she could do about it.

Sighing, she got up and headed for the door. She had some explaining to do.

Garrus POV

The calibrations were doing nothing for his nerves, or his concentration, or his hormones.

Sighing in frustration, Garrus turned away from the controls and sat down heavily on a crate, staring at the floor with his elbows on his knees.

There was a huge difference between hitting the commander and hitting on the commander, and although he had done both, he was pretty sure his most recent conversation with her fell into the category of the latter. If this were a turian ship, the incident would be dismissed with a reprimand, but on a human ship…

The Normandy wasn't an Alliance ship and he wasn't human, but he still worried that his ass would get tossed out an airlock or something. (To the best of his knowledge, Cerberus couldn't court-martial people.) He remembered how much Shepard and Kaidan had had to sneak around to avoid discovery back in the old days, and how much fraternization was frowned upon among their species.

Of course, it was only a peripheral issue. Garrus didn't so much about the regs as he did about what Shepard may or may not have taken away from their conversation.

He'd stopped lying to himself a while ago. He wanted more than friendship from Emily. And as much as the thought shocked him at first, he was able to affirm the fact that he did not have some sort of cross-species fetish. It was just…

Her.

All of her.

There was just something about Emily Shepard that Garrus found maddeningly alluring—perhaps it was her drive, or maybe the way in which she led. Maybe it was the way she was so unlike Saren, who had been so intent on disgracing his species, and instead struggled to get them in the good graces of the galaxy. She'd managed to put her differences behind her when she'd saved the Council, forsaking personal feuds for the collective good of everyone else.

Maybe it was the way she'd given him a chance, him, of all people, just when he was ready to go rogue…or give up.

Hell, maybe it was just those green eyes.

Despite himself Garrus smiled, and his mind wandered back to the good ol' days of chasing Saren across the galaxy. There had been no feelings then, he was sure. It was only until she died that he realized how much she meant to him.

That was a slap in the face. It was as if the spirits were taunting him by throwing this realization at him when it was too late for him to tell her. But then her return had been like a dream come true, but for all those encounters nothing had come of his feelings for her, except for confusion and resentment.

This can't go on forever, he thought. I have to tell her how I feel.

I can deal with the consequences later.

With this in mind, he got up and left the battery.

He was four paces away from the elevator when the doors slid open to reveal—speak of the devil—Shepard. Her green eyes registered him and her eyes widened in surprise, but she smiled as if he was just the person she was looking for. A flush crept up her face and Garrus wondered if he really had that effect on her. For a moment he was speechless, gaping, before he picked his jaw off the ground and pulled himself together.

"I think I need to tell you something," they said in unison. There was a beat of awkward silence as they stared at each other, unsure of whether to laugh or run away.

"You first," Garrus said deviously. He was trying his best to contain his laughter.

"No, you first."

"I asked first."

She opened her mouth and abruptly closed it, as if she had forgotten how to speak. The awkwardness in the air could have been cut with a butter knife. Suddenly he was extremely glad that turians couldn't blush.

Shepard was looking him up and down, her eyes sweeping over his tall form.

"I…I don't know how to put this."

He raised an eyebrow. "Try, then."

She continued to look blankly at him and Garrus could literally see the wheels in her head turning madly until finally, she shrugged and hugged him.

"I do love you," she murmured against his chest.

He was completely shell-shocked. This was the last thing he'd been expecting, but he found himself returning the hug.

A few yards away, Kasumi was watching, silently congratulating herself on a job well done.

A/N: Whew! Sorry for the late update. I had a horrible case of writer's block. It's over now, and I'm back. :D I figured it's about time Shepard got off the denial train and in Garrus's arms. It's still not going to be easy, though. I guarantee it.

As always, a big fat shoutout for ITestedGarrussReach, Siha Shap, Saetheri, and Ember Filled Mist. Seriously, you guys rock. I dig the feedback and the support. Keep on trucking! :p (see Made Nightwing's fabulous work for that reference.)

That about wraps it up. New chapters are in the works. Thanks so much for everyone who's read and reviewed—I never expected this story to take off like it did! You all rock. If you're reading this, you ROCK. Much love, everyone!

Well. Enough of my gabbing.

-Lynn