Chris McClean flew over the island as the sun just began to crack through the horizon. He greeted the audience with his trademark smile.
"Are you ready for another awesome, action-packed episode of Total Drama Revenge of the Island?" he said. "Today we're really going to kick things off as the teams compete for the first time. Team Evil East definitely scares me, what with Heather, Courtney, Alejandro all on one team. That's a ticking time bomb for sure. Meanwhile, Team Something South just so happened to get Noah as their captain, and winning is exactly the top priority on that guy's list. Let's see how the teams are doing now."
The camera then focused on the first cabin, Team Evil East. The team was in a vast room with fancy wooden walls. Each contestant had their own queen-sized bed. On one side of the room slept Courtney, Heather, and Katie; while on the other side slept Duncan, Justin, and Alejandro.
The camera then switched to show Team Nutty North. The team's cabin was falling apart and was clearly quite cold in the mountain air. The three couples were each cuddling with each other for warmth. Bridgette with Geoff, Tyler with Lindsay, and Izzy with Ezekiel; though he was clearly still awake and uncomfortable.
Next the camera showed Team Winning West. Their cabin was part house and part cave. Although the team was all asleep they were all tossing in their sleep from the cold breeze.
Lastly, Team Something South was shown. The group only had sleeping bags and were clearly quite cramped in the tiny boathouse. Noah was squashed between Owen and Sadie who had both rolled over in their sleep.
"Wakey wakey!" Chris bellowed in his megaphone as he honked his blaring horn.
As Team Winning West awoke, Gwen muttered, "We really should have gotten used to that by now."
"Today will be your first real challenge," Chris announced. "Since we're at the beginning were giving you something that should be easy, getting breakfast ready. The key word: 'should.' You have each been given an ingredient that Chef requires for the meal. Your team must find the ingredient and bring it to chef so that he can prepare the meal. Last time to arrive will have to eliminate someone. Best of luck, and try not to all die right away."
Izzy quickly left her fort and located the note that had been left out front.
"Hm, honey, this should be fun," she exclaimed as her teammates came out to join her.
Meanwhile at Team Evil East the contestants were fighting over who would get to read the note first.
"I'm the leader, I should read it," Courtney complained.
"No matter what Chris says, you will never be the boss of me," retorted Heather as she snatched the note.
"We need to find an apple," Heather read. "That wouldn't be too hard. If there was anything growing on this island that wasn't a poisonous weed."
"That's exactly the reaction I'd expect from someone so untrained like you," Courtney scoffed. "Of course, a CIT like me always knows how to track food in the wild. With my skills we'll find that apple is no time."
"That's it, I am not spending another minute with that control freak," Heather shrieked. "You can count no out of today's challenge."
"I'm with you," agreed Duncan. "Having anytime away from Her Majesty is worth the possible elimination."
"Well, duh!" snapped Courtney. "Obviously the boat can't take all of us at once. I only need one volunteer to come along. Who's with me?"
After an awkward silence, Justin finally sighed, "I guess I'll go."
Courtney's Confessional
I don't see why everyone acts like I'm someone horrible ogre. I have my eye on the prize, and that's what's going to get us the win. They may not want to admit it, but they need me and a sooner or later they're going to realize it. When that time comes around everything will finally come up Courtney.
At Team Something South the contestants' morale was clearly at an all-time low.
"Okay, our ingredient is fish," Noah read unenthusiastically. "Who feels like making a fool of themselves today?"
Noah turned his attention to Owen who was still sobbing.
"I can't believe that Izzy can move on just like that," he moped.
"Dude, the girl physical abused you on a regular basis," Noah pointed out.
"Yeah," Owen sighed. "And now she's got someone new to physically abuse. Oh, Izzy!"
"And what might your problem be?" Noah asked Sadie who was also on the verge of tears.
"I, like, can't believe that I have to compete against Katie," Sadie mumbled. "We're like BFFFs, competing is totally not what we do."
"That's so sweet it makes me almost want to care," Noah said sarcastically. "And what about the man of a thousand talents?"
He pointed at Harold who was just staring out longingly.
"Leshawana," he just said in a hushed voice.
Harold then stood up and headed for the door.
"I've got to prove to her that she still wants me," Harold resolved. "I'm coming Leshawna."
"Hey, you can just go off with the enemy," Sadie called out.
"Forget it," Noah sighed. "At least he's actually doing something about his ridiculous issues instead of moping. Now, how about you ladies, do you have any emotional problems that you need to discuss?"
"No," barked Eva. "And I'll get your stupid fish."
As Eva departed, Beth followed behind her eagerly.
Noah's Confessional
So apparently it wasn't bad enough that Chris brought me back to this sociopathic game, but he also made me the leader of a team of losers. I'm hoping they'll vote for me when we fail, but Owen said he could never vote off his, 'little buddy,' and Sadie has fallen under the delusion that I'm a fangirl's dream and being seen with me will make Katie jealous. Yep, definite losers.
Team Winning West left their cave/cabin and shimmied back up the cliff. Leshawna easily found the note and read it to the team.
"Chocolate? Where are we supposed to find that on an uninhabited island?" she scoffed. "This is 'cause I used the word 'Winning' in my team, isn't Chris?"
She shook her fist in frustration at the sky.
"Well, Chris wouldn't give us an impossible challenge, would he?" Gwen suggested.
"Are we talking about the same Chris?" Leshawna replied sarcastically.
"Well, we might as well start looking," Gwen sighed.
"Good idea, Gwen," Cody added as he shot a smile Gwen's way.
"Uh, maybe we should split up," Leshawna suggested. "Cody, Trent, and Sierra you guys go that way, and Gwen, DJ, and I will go this way."
Cody looked a little dejected, but Sierra looked like couldn't be happier as she dragged Cody along.
Leshawna, Gwen, and DJ headed off in the direction of the mountain as they entered the woods.
"Thanks," Gwen said with a smile to Leshawna.
"Hey, us girls got to look out for each other," Leshawna said with a shrug.
"But this doesn't mean that I've forgiven you," Gwen added sharply.
"Leshawna, is that you?" came the yearning voice of Harold.
"Ugh, what do you think you're doing here?" Leshawna groaned as Harold made his way through the shrubs.
"I've come to profess my true feelings for you," Harold declared as he got down on one knee. "I have a full speech prepared on what you mean to me."
"And I don't have time to hear it," Leshawna brushed off as she prepared to leave. "I'm all for friendship, but, like I said before, being in a relationship just wouldn't work."
"Now hang on guys," DJ said. "Maybe we talk about this and work out a compromise."
"DJ, it's sweet that you're still trying to do that, but now is not the time," Leshawna declared as she dragged DJ away from Harold.
Leshawna's Confessional
I'm starting to see why Gwen's having trouble forgiving me. Guys just can't seem to take a hint. But I think that compared to Harold, Cody's obsession is just a little more tame.
Back at the beach, Eva had crafted a makeshift harpoon and was furiously jabbing at the sea. Behind her Beth tentatively approached.
"Hold still, you stupid fish," Eva snarled at the water.
"Um, Eva," Beth began.
"What!" Eva barked as she held her harpoon menacingly. "What do you want?"
"Never mind," Beth squeaked. "Go back to your fishing."
Beth's Confessional
I'm certain that if I'm nice to Eva I'll be able to melt away her cold exterior. It's just…maybe I should wait 'till she's not holding a dangerous weapon.
Team Nutty North had scaled back down the mountain and was scouting out for any signs of honey. As the six campers explored the grounds, Geoff realized that he couldn't see Bridgette. After a quick glance around he spotted her. However, she as walking determinedly at the front of the team; Geoff was in the back. Geoff realized that Bridgette had said almost nothing to him this morning, and now it was like she was purposefully avoiding him.
"I think I see something," Bridgette called to the team. "It's a tree, and I think it's inhabited with bees."
"Is inhabited with bees, or was?" Tyler asked nervously. "'Cause that's a key difference."
"Bad luck, guys," Bridgette sighed. "The bees are definitely still around, and they aren't going to want us to touch their honey."
"Oooh, ooh, I know, pick me!" Lindsay cried as she bounced up and down.
"Yes, Lindsay," Bridgette said.
"Why don't we sing to them?" she suggested. "That's sure to soothe them into a sweet sleep."
"Uh, Lindsay, I don't think," Bridgette tried to protest.
However Lindsay had already walked over to the tree and was ready to sing
The blonde began her song, horrible off-key and loud, "Amazing Grace, how sweet—"
Before she could continue a swarm of bees chased after her. She let up a high pitched screech and darted in the other direction. Her fellow teammates couldn't help but laugh as Lindsay ran back and forth.
"I guess they didn't like your singing," laughed Izzy.
"Guys, this is serious," Lindsay cried as she ran through a string of vines and shrubs.
Eventually a root caught her foot and sent her tumbling into a pool of mud. Luckily for her, the bees had mostly given up chasing her and had returned to guarding their hive. When Lindsay returned to her group she was a complete mess of mud and plants. By now everyone had burst into uncontrollable laughter. To Lindsay's horror she realized that it wasn't just her team; Leshawna, DJ, Gwen, and Harold had also arrived and couldn't resist laughing.
"That's a nice new look for you, Lindsay," Geoff mocked.
"Stop…stop laughing," Lindsay sniffed through tears. "Ty…Tyler."
When she realized that even her before was laughing, Lindsay ran off back the way she come and deeper into the woods.
Lindsay's Confessional
They were all laughing at me. They do see me as a joke, and all this time I never noticed. Even Tyler, even Tyler. Waaaahhhh!
Meanwhile, the other half of Team Winning West was aimless wandering through the woods.
"So, any idea on where we might possibly find chocolate?" Trent asked.
"Hm, this place looks familiar," Sierra mused. "Aha, I remember. Just around here was where Chris hid his secret stash of junk food. I think he had some sort of evil plan for it; or maybe he was just saving it for later. But whatever the case I'll find it."
Once Sierra had rushed ahead, Cody sighed, "Glad to get a break from her."
"I thought that you two had come to like each other," Trent asked.
"Yeah, Sierra can be a pretty cool friend," Cody sighed. "But she has her head set on marrying me. And then there's Gwen; seeing her again—"
"You leave Gwen alone," snapped Trent as he raised his fist angrily.
Cody cringed back in terror, and Trent realized that he had over-reacted.
"Sorry," he apologized. "Gwen's just having a hard time right now. I think that she'd appreciate it if you didn't bother her."
"I know what you mean," Cody said. "It's just that when I think about her I can't help myself. She's restrained, yet dignified; she's calm, yet—"
"Cody, Cody, Cody!" cried Sierra as she ran back and embraced her crush. "I found it, I found it."
Sierra led them to a small hatch in the ground. All three of them had to pry it open. Trent and Cody were surprised to see that Sierra was right; it was full of junk food.
"Woohoo!" Cody cheered as he dived into the pile. "There's soda, and chips, and candy in here."
"But I don't see a single sign of chocolate," Trent groaned.
"Hey!" Chris barked from his helicopter. "Stay away from my stash."
As the three left, Trent glanced back to see Sierra staring at Cody. As always, she was completely dazzled by him.
Trent's Confessional
I'd say that Cody is pretty lucky. Sierra is actually a nice girl, and once he realizes that I'm sure he'll be happy that she's only got eyes for him. For me and Gwen though, it's a little more complicated. Even though she broke up with me…and then kissed Duncan, I still can forget that great feeling I had when we were together. I've tried to move on, but it's a lot harder than I thought it would be.
Courtney and Justin had also managed to catch a glimpse of Lindsay's humiliation.
"Serves her right," Courtney said. "I mean, who sings to bees?"
As the two continued their search for apples, they could still hear Lindsay's shrieking sobs.
"Will that girl ever shut up?" Courtney groaned.
However her mood was brightened when she spotted an apple tree.
"Ha, shows what those idiots know," she cheered as she began harvesting apples. "Now let's head to chef and we'll be the first one done."
"Not so fast," Justin said. "I've got an idea."
The attractive boy returned to the bees' hive. Team Nutty North had moved onto another part of the woods by now.
"Justin, what are you doing?" Courtney hissed.
Justin didn't answer as he approached the hive. The bees, like everything else, where stunned by Justin's good looks and refused to string him. This made it easy for him to reach in a grab a honey comb.
"You can seriously be thinking about helping the other team," Courtney growled. "I won't allow it. As your captain I forbid you from giving that honey to anyone."
"Try using your head," Justin sighed. "If I could learn to do it, then surely you can. When Lindsay was on my team she tried to take over as leader. She was on her way to becoming as bad as you; now that she's been isolated, imagine how easy it would be for her to stir up some trouble. All she needs is something to get her going."
"That is actually quite clever," Courtney gasped. "Hey! What do you mean, 'as bad as you?'?"
Justin didn't answer, he left to find Lindsay. The blond girl was crying against a tree; she was still covered in filth.
"Lindsay, are you looking for this?" Justin said as he handed the honey.
Lindsay looked up and the hint of a smile appeared on her face as she reached out. Then she stopped herself.
"Wait a minute, aren't you on the other team?" Lindsay asked.
"True," Justin said. "But how could I not help out someone like you? You're so beautiful, yet so intelligent and strong. It would be a shame to see you giving up like this already; you're team hasn't even realized your full potential."
"Hey, you're right," Lindsay perked up. "After all I am the prettiest, smartest, strongest girl on my team, right?"
She grabbed the honey then rushed to meet up with her team.
"Wow, I'm actually glad that you're on my team," Courtney exclaimed. "Now let's hurry, we can still be first."
Lindsay's Confessional
So, after I thought about what Justin said I realized that he must have been a little confused. I'm the prettiest, but if I had been the strongest and the smartest I wouldn't have let them laugh at me like that. But that's going to change; I'm going to show them.
"This ain't fair," Leshawna moaned as she sat down on a stump.
Her other teammates were equally as disappointed. Even DJ couldn't come up with anything positive to say.
"Leshawna, at last I have caught up with you," Harold called out as he once again followed behind. "I've come to offer you all that I own. If could offer you my heart I would, but alas, you'll have to accept my worldly possessions. You can take my old bus ticket, my chewed up pencil, my piles of pocket lint…"
"Harold honey, this really isn't helping," Leshawna moaned.
"All that I have left is the squashed chocolate bar," Harold held out his hand defeated.
"Wait a minute, chocolate?" gasped Gwen.
"Uh-uh, I'm not taking it," Leshawna protested. "I don't want to give this guy any false ideas."
"Leshawna, you've trapped me in a cave with my stalker for a whole month," Gwen growled. "You are taking that chocolate bar."
Leshawna grumbled, but she took the piece of melted chocolate.
"Thanks, Harold," she said reluctantly.
Harold's Confessional
Leshawna likes to keep her distance; it's one of the many things I like about her. I knew that it would only take a few days of my endless love for her to begin to cave. Now that I've made a crack she'll fall for me in no time.
Back at the Evil East island the remaining member were relaxing in the sun. All looked content to be enjoying the sun instead of risking their lives, except Alejandro. He was eyeing Heather with concern.
"Oh Katie, do you think you could come with me for a second?" Alejandro beckoned as he returned to the cabin.
Katie squee'd with delight and chased after him eagerly.
"Now Katie, I know you like me, right?" Alejandro said.
Katie nodded fervently to show her agreement.
"You like me even more than you like Justin?" Alejandro added.
"Who?" Katie mumbled under his spell.
"Exactly," Alejandro said with an evil grin. "Then you wouldn't mind doing a simple favor for me, right?"
"Anything for you," Katie said practically drooling.
"All I want is for you to watch Heather," Alejandro explained. "She's suspicious of me, but she won't notice you. Then you can report to me everything of importance that she does."
"Sure thing, Al," Katie giggled.
"And don't call me that," cringed Alejandro.
Meanwhile Heather was trying to have a similar conversation with Duncan.
"Hey, Duncan, you've always liked me, right?" she said as she sidled up next to him.
"Um…no," Duncan replied.
"Okay, that doesn't matter," Heather changed her tactic. "What matters is that you don't like Alejandro."
"Who does like Alejandro?" Duncan scoffed. "I mean aside from you."
"That…that…I told you, I'm over that," Heather fumbled for words. "And we need to work together to keep him in line. All I ask of you is that you watch him when he's not around. If he does anything that I don't approve of, we can vote him off."
"Whatever," Duncan said as he returned to sunbathing.
Heather's Confessional
I bet Alejandro thinks he so smart right now; he thinks that I'm right in his pocket. But I am not letting him get one step ahead of me this time. Whatever he does I will be prepared; I'm ready for whatever he can throw at me.
Alejandro's Confessional
Right now Heather's probably plan some new way to backstab me. As if I would let my guard down for a minute; nope, whatever she has planned, it won't work. And as soon as her pathetic little plan fails I'll boot her off the island in a flash. In the meantime I don't see why I can't enjoy her company.
Beth looked nervously into the sea as Eva stormed about trying to grab at a fish. She had dived in, yet she still wasn't having any luck.
"Stop moving!" Eva screamed between spluttering in the water.
After another submersion she shot up of the water with a fish in her teeth.
"Good work, Eva," Beth cheered.
"C'mon, we better hurry or we'll lose this stupid contest," Eva said as she was already headed towards chef's cabin.
Beth scurried to catch up with Eva's fast paces. However, when the duo arrived they saw a messy Lindsay holding a honey comb, Leshawna with a melted piece of chocolate, and Courtney standing smugly with an apple.
"Looks like you lose, Team Something South," Chris announced as he entered the building.
Eva kicked the floor in rage and managed to snap the boards apart.
"My team got here first," Courtney declared. "What's my prize?"
"Ah, a worthy prize for such a task," Chris said. "You get to be the first to try Chef's new chocolate covered fish mashed with honeyed apples."
"That sounds disgusting," Courtney sniffed. "Not to mention all this stuff was gathered from the wild."
"Or the back of Harold's pocket," Gwen added.
"Well you're going to eat it and like it!" barked Chef from behind his counter.
"Whatever, I'm pretty my taste buds all died back in season 1," Courtney sniffed again.
"And as for Team Something South," Chris said as he pointed at Eva and Beth, "I'll be seeing you later tonight for a good old-fashioned marshmallow ceremony."
Noah's Confessional
If I could vote for myself I would, but Chris just added a last minute rule that we can no longer do that. Seriously, this guy just can't keep the rules consistent for two days.
Beth's Confessional
I can't believe that Harold helped the other team win. I don't think that teams should get in the way of relationships, but on the other hand I don't think that relationships should get in the way of teamwork.
Owen's Confessional
Oh…Izzy.
Sadie's Confessional
Oh…Katie.
At night the six campers from the south crowded around the roaring campfire. Everybody looked anxious, excepted Noah who remained stoic and Eva who looked more annoyed.
"Okay, before we start let me just say that in my book you're all losers," Chris said. "Really, Harold helping the enemy win what should have been an impossible challenge; what was that? Noah, Owen, Sadie you spent the whole time moping. And Eva, people were depending on you to catch that fish and you failed."
"Hey, I was the only one did anything on this team," Eva snarled as she stood up.
"And you did it poorly," Chris retorted, "costing your team the victory."
"Now let's get on with this nostalgic event," Chris declared. "First marshmallow goes to…Beth."
The geeky girl reached out and grabbed her marshmallow which she quickly swallowed.
"Next, Owen…Eva…Sadie."
Each contestant grabbed their marshmallow, then all I eyes turned to the remaining contestants. Noah still refused to show any emotion while Harold was chattering on his nails furiously.
"And the final marshmallow goes to," Chris paused for emphasis, "Noah."
"Whatever," replied the boy as he grabbed his marshmallow.
"Harold, you know the drill," Chris pointed to the Dock of Shame.
Harold sighed and slowly walked down the dock.
"The real tragedy isn't the loss in this contest, oh no," Harold said before he departed. "I only regret that I couldn't rekindle the flame in the love of my life, the beautiful Leshawna."
"Oh, I can't hold back any longer," Leshawna called out from the bushes, revealing that she'd been watching.
She ran to the nerdy boy and gave him a tight hug.
"Harold honey, I'm really sorry I got you eliminated," she apologized sorrowfully. "This really isn't what I wanted."
"It's okay, Leshawna," Harold replied. "It is often necessary for a great hero to make a sacrifice so that his beloved can achieve glory."
He then added, "Of course, I guess that doesn't necessarily have to refer to a beloved; it'd probably work for just good friends too."
"Aw, come here you," Leshawna said as she planted a kiss on him. " I'm gonna miss you."
"Farewell, my friends," Harold said as he stepped onto the boat. "I wish you nothing but the best of luck in your pursuits of greatness."
With that the Boat of Losers took off and Harold disappeared into the darkness.
Chris then turned to face the camera and announced, "Well that about wrap it up for tonight. I can see that there's going to be a lot happening soon. What does Lindsay have in store for everyone? Can Beth really make friends with Eva? Will the many couples' issues get better or worse over time? I promise you that we're doing our best to make everything worse; but tune in next time to see for yourself."