Title: Error Operator
Chapter: 4/?
Rating: Teen
Warning: Slash, mentions of sex, House, AU, and cursing here and there.
Fandom: Transformers Movie'Verse and House.
Pairing: Many, many pairings. So far shown, Sam/Bee, Ratchet/Cuddy, HouseWilson, and Cameron/Chase.
Summary: Sam's been sick for awhile now, but when he collapses, military officials suggest that he go to a specialist hospital. Bringing those doctors back might have been one of the best ideas they've ever had.
Notes: Lets not even start on how often I was stuck with this chapter, shall we? It likely didn't help that I've had a friend visiting, over and hanging out the last couple days. LV-117 is a canon planet in IDW-Verse, just so that is clear. I'll probably be stealing bits from various verses and the second two movies too, so yeah.
One last note. I finally (after, however many years it has been) wrote out a bit of a timeline for what I want to happen. This story will be long. There will at least be ten more chapters, but probably more like fifteen more.
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Megatron landed on the desolate rock of a planet that they'd found, and sighed as he felt no energy signals, no life, nothing. Not far behind, Soundwave gave a report about the planet's moon, which was empty as well.
LV-117 looked to have once been similar to earth, with what was left of thick jungles and mountainous regions. But it was apparent that either some one had decided to use the entire sphere for target practice, or it had just died out.
He was betting on the first of the two options. The scorch marks that he found on one of the tree-like plants was a dead giveaway.
"Soundwave, are there any others nearby at all?"
"Negative, Lord Megatron."
The Lord High Protector frowned and transformed, blasting into the air to circle the tiny lump of rock at least once before they headed out. They were searching for survivors, broadcasting on both Autobot and Decepticon frequencies about the end of the war.
"Any luck?"
Megatron spun, wings twitching in annoyance as Prowl's voice shifted through his comm. link.
"No. This planet is empty as well."
"Jazz swore this is where they were the last time he was with them."
"We will finish circling, and head to the next one."
"Yes, sir."
He sighed again as the mech clicked out and made note that soon they would have to return to Earth. The Xantium was already starting to fall apart, and he could hear it in the tacticians voice that they were running out of time. Not only that, but the last communication they had received from Optimus Prime had been a full orn before.
Megatron transformed and landed on a branch of one of the dead fauna, perching carefully.
Jazz had claimed to have last seen his teammates Cliffjumper and the Protectobots, as well as what he had thought to be Reflector on the planet they had found, rebuilding a small civilization that had been destroyed by war.
But there was nothing.
He turned as his scanners picked up something finally, and felt some form of relief at the sight of who was flying his way. Moments later, when they started shooting, Megatron couldn't understand why his own troops were firing at him. Had they been Autobots, he could see it.
But the Skyraiders had always been so loyal.
It was completely unorthodox, nonmilitary, and weird, but Will had gotten used to it. To him, it was normal, useful, and downright gave him that extra morale boosting, that it seemed like they always needed. He sat inside Ironhide's cab, 'driving' the mech, while one of the doctors sat next to him.
She was tense, but that wasn't unusual and he didn't blame her one bit.
The traveling line was a typical Cybertronian one. First it was Optimus Prime carrying House and Wilson, then they followed with Ironhide, and Barricade, carrying Chase. Bumblebee was behind with Sam's parents, then Jazz carrying Mikeala and Wheelie with Frenzy. At the very back, Ratchet held Sam and Cuddy, the hospital director, and above them, Buzzsaw gave silent air support.
House had nearly wet himself trying to get Optimus to let him drive.
"The twins are coming up behind us, I guess their mission went well," he murmured when he noticed the bright splashes of yellow and red suddenly appear on either side of them. It made Cameron jump, and she turned to look at him quizzically.
"Twins with matching Lamborghinis?" She sounded worried, eyes shifting from one mech to another.
"Yeah, they're, uh, one of a kind." Will dropped his hand out of the window, signaling to Sideswipe, and then watching Cameron gape when the mech zipped through the not-very-big space between them and Optimus without fear.
"Mmm. They missed us." Ironhide spoke up, voice coming from the speakers of his form. It left her with another shock, more confusion and some fear. His grip on the wheel tightened, and he subtly tapped the side of the mech.
"Relax." He murmured, looking at her again, and not at all worried about the road ahead of them, or Optimus.
Shortly after, they reached the base, and Will gave a short sigh of relief.
He stepped out and chuckled at the sight of Chase, who was ruffled and blushing, and practically ran from Barricade, while the hologram grinned at him and waved cheerily.
"Stop teasing him, Barricade," the major groused, not at all pleased when the hologram, along with the others, winked out of existence. While the shock factor was quite entertaining, it was a delicate situation for God's sakes.
Then again. There was no way they would be able to just edge things in, and Judy was already half in on it... Fuck. He couldn't even bring himself to care anymore.
"Assorted Ladies and Gents', welcome to one of the best kept secrets the military has ever had." Will stood in front of the group, amazed that none had appeared to have noticed the disappearance of the holograms.
Behind him, he heard his comrades and friends transform, forms shifting and moving in a way that was so familiar, but so alien.
"Ha! Told you! Told you!" House, whom Will was torn between liking and hating, ruined the 'moment' with the wild waving of his cane, but was only regarded with cool blue optics as the Major and Optimus both snorted.
And then the explaining began, and he ended up collapsing against Ironhide by the end of it, as the mech laughed at him.
"Just wait until your whole planet knows..."
"Shut up."
Aliens, aliens that turned into cars! House popped one of his vicodon pills into his mouth, and limped over to the alien tools and supplies that lined the room he'd been put in, gleefully playing with various knobs and buttons. He couldn't believe that while his team got a grand tour, he was stuck in some room.
Just because he'd called Ratchet Dr. Dolittle, Can Opener, Version Eight.
Damn, that mech was too sensitive!
He popped another pill and threw himself into the wheeled chair that Wilson had insisted they leave for him, bless the man's heart. Once there he pushed himself to a wall and stole the fire extinguisher, a grin forming on his fuzzy face.
"Oooh, yeah. This will do nicely."
An hour later there was a trail of fire-foam that twisted and turned slathered onto the floor and one wall, while House sat sideways in the chair and fiddled with the canister, trying to get more foam to come out.
"What the slag?" He looked up and blinked in surprise at the sight of a new robot, Cybertronian, he reminded himself, standing in the door way.
Black, and with red optics, the mech was large, and as it, him, looked at House, the doctor tossed another vicoden pill into his mouth.
"Ratchet locked me in here for being myself, yeah. So... what the hell are you? A flying saucer? Please be a flying saucer."
"No. I am Blackout, a medic. You must be House, they have a memo going around warning everyone of you."
"Sweet. I already have a rep' in a alien culture!" House snickered.
"It's a memo warning us all not to run you over, drop you from a great height, step on you, use you as target practice, or allow you anywhere near Red Alert, Wheeljack or Starscream and his Trine."
The man blinked and then scowled. "Was there a contest or something over how to kill me?"
"A betting pool, actually." Blackout snorted, fingers running along the area he had been messing with prior.
"Yay."
The black mech grinned and plucked him from his chair, before heading out of the room and into what he assumed had to be the main area of the Medical Ward. There, Ratchet's hologram was poking an unconscious Sam, his bigger form holding a large clipboard looking thing.
Blackout set him down next to the little bed that was in a corner of the Bay, on a table area.
"You left the little pest in mystorage unit, Ratchet. This is not acceptable."
"I am not a pest!"
"Yes you are, shut up." Ratchet snapped, before shrugging and pointing the pad at his fellow medic. "I just tossed him in, it was not purposely done."
"Whatever. Don't do it again." Blackout looked at Sam and the hologram of a second doctor appeared next to House, bright red eyes the only thing 'noticeable' on the slender and dark haired frame.
"He appears to have gotten worse since arrival, and while in their care."
"I'm right here, you know... what are his stats?" The grumble was answered with rattled off numbers, while House cocked his head. There wasn't anything he could think of that would cause the symptoms that Sam had that they hadn't already ruled out. Even the standard last-chance answer of 'Lupis' was wrong.
"Well, what alien diseases could he get? I mean, he ishaving sexy-times with one of you guys, or more."
"We do not have STDs as you humans do, and anyway, I don't think that's... Oh. Hm..."
"What?"
"The AllSpark burns, along with a few... We need to get Bumblebee in here, I have questions to ask him." Ratchet put the pad down and walked over to where others were stacked, going through them.
"You aren't thinking of that, are you? It's never occurred with an organic being!"
House rolled his eyes and slammed his cane against the iron table he was standing on.
"If you two have anything to share, get my team in here and share it for fucks' sakes." He smirked when they looked at each other, before glaring down at him.
"You all will need a crash course in Cybertronian history."
"Sweet, I'm sure we all won't sleep through it like Human history class..."
"Human. If what Ratchet is thinking of is the correct answer, you would best be ready to shut up and listen." Blackout growled and slammed his hand down next to the man, anger and dislike suddenly very, very obvious.
It made House look at the hand, and then look up with a shit eating grin, interest just as obvious, and just as scary.